October 2014 Surgery Sisters

Hi All, I'm new too and have my surgery is on Oct 20 for a double mastectomy.  I have 4 tumors in my left breast ...IDCS.  All are stage 1.

Am planning on having direct implants but the PS is going to wait 10 days after the cancer surgery to put them in.  He wants to make sure I don't need radiation and also check the viability of my skin.  Also concerned that the weight of the implant could cause the scar to break open.  He says the incision will not be healed and he will go in through the same incision under by breast.

Oct 20 is sure coming on fast.  Have so much to get done beforehand.  My husband and I  had a month planned at the beach starting Oct 23 so we'll be going back and forth and I sure hope I don't need radiation!

Good luck to everyone who is having surgery (or already had their surgery this month).

Hi October gals,

I am 2.5 months post surgery and wanted to give some encouragement and
advice to all of you who recently had surgery or are facing it. I hope that something I say in here will help you as you go through your experience and make things a little easier for you.

• Recovery takes time – After my surgery, I
  expected to be up and about and back to normalcy within days because I am an
  energetic, fit person. But what I found out is that surgery is really hard on
  the body and it just takes time to heal.Expect that the first few weeks will be hard.The drains are a pain, your arm movement and
  strength will be limited, and you’ll likely be very uncomfortable.That’s okay.You will get through it.It may
  seem like it is taking forever but have patience because you will get back to
  normal.
• Celebrate the small improvements – It’s easy to
  focus on all you cannot do, but try to celebrate the small improvements each
  week – getting off pain meds, getting your drains out, being able to put a cup
  in the microwave, opening a car door, putting on a bra or a non-button front
  shirt…These may take you many weeks to master but you will get to the point
  where you can do these things again.Patience is a virtue during the healing process and it’s not always easy
  to have, but get through the first month and you will find yourself in a much
  better place.
• Accept help – This is not always an easy thing
  to do.I had a friend tell me before
  surgery that she would plan meals for me and I thought to myself that I didn’t
  need them.Well, I cannot tell you how
  much the three weeks of meals helped out.My mother stayed with me for those first few weeks and was my arms and
  hands for most of it.It was
  really hard asking and accepting help but do it. It not only helps you but it gives those who
  care about you an opportunity to get involved and feel like they are making a
  difference (which they are).
• Expect to be unhappy at times – This was the
  hardest thing for me.I am an
  optimistic, upbeat person, so when I was feeling blue about all the things I
  couldn’t do and just wanting my old life back, it upset me more because I wasn’t
  used to the feelings and couldn’t control them.It’s okay and perfectly normal to feel down after finding out you have
  cancer and going through treatment.Your
  body has gone through a tough journey so it’s natural that your mood will be
  affected.Try not to worry about
  it.Accept it as part of the healing
  process that you will get through.Believe
  me, the feelings will pass as your body heals.
• Read about the experiences of other – This cancer
  site was so helpful to me, especially because I could read about others’
  experiences and realize that I was not alone.I cannot tell you how happy it made me to hear one person say that she
  was four weeks out and vacuuming her house.At that point I was two weeks out and feeling badly that I couldn’t even
  put on a shirt over my head, let along push a vacuum.It gave me encouragement that in just a
  couple of weeks I could be in a very different place. And sure enough, in a
  couple more weeks I was in a different place (and back to vacuuming!).

The bottom line – healing takes time, be patient as you heal
physically and mentally, accept help, reach out to others, and know you that
you will come out the other side and get back to a sense of normalcy
again.And know that there are a lot of people,
whether they directly know you or not, who are here for you and rooting for you
to get better.

Peace!

Hello, all. My surgery is scheduled for October 16. I'm a mess this morning.

They only discovered my cancer four weeks ago, and three weeks ago learned that it was metastatic. No chemo, no breast surgery for me; they want to take my ovaries instead. I only started taking Tamoxifen on October 3rd. Not even enough time to see if it does anything. 

I will meet my anesthesiologist on Monday to discuss the surgery, and my MO on Wednesday. I feel panicky and so alone and I want to cancel everything.

I've been brave up to now, but not this morning. 

NineTwelve,

How overwhelming.  You went from minding your own business to stage 4 cancer in a week's time.  That's a hell of a lot to process.   If you're feeling alone and panicked, honestly, how else could you feel?  All I can tell you from the road I've taken so far, is it sometimes helps to focus on one thing at a time, focus on your next step and try to stay with that and leave the things that are out of your control alone as best you can until you have more information and can deal with them.

I really find the community here to be a good support system as well because no one knows how it feels to walk this road like those who have walked it, even though every journey is unique.  However unfortunate, this is a growing community.  

Hugs

Togetherness,

After each of my surgeries, my instructions were to come to the ER if my temp went above 100.5. At 101.5 there is no way you can afford to wait until Monday. GO NOW. As I found out the hard way, just because you are on antibiotics doesn't mean it's the right antibiotic. IV antibiotics are more effective so maybe that's all it will take with you. However it took 3 different kinds of IV antibiotics over 3 days to find one that would even begin to fight the infection I had. With your history, don't wait. GO NOW.

Read the Breast Implant Sizing 101 header to find out what all the different kinds of implants are.

There are several threads that address questions you should ask your doctors. Look on the All Topics tab.

No matter what a patient wants, a PS can't always do it due to unforeseen circumstances like inadequate flaps left by the breast surgeon after the mastectomy. It is your body, however, and you should have a pretty good idea of what you are going to get. Lots of PS take more than one size implant into the OR, put one in, sit you up to see how it looks, try another size, and then take a vote. Often your OR nurse will be the one who actually makes the final decision if there's no medical reason to go with one over the other. It will be what she likes.

No matter how famous, the PS works for YOU. It's your body, your money, and you're the one who has to live with it so shouldn't you have some say in the matter? 

Men, no matter how good they can be in other areas, can be totally intimidated in medical situations. They have much less experience with doctors than women. Sometimes mine won't shut up when he accompanies me to an appointment and other times he is stone faced. You are probably so angry at the situation that you need to blame somebody and feel helpless to do so. You've just begun this journey. You will need your husband. Calmly explain to him how he could have supported you better. Does he know enough to even question something a doctor says? If he feels out of his league, he'll stay quiet. Does he need more education? Can you report this doctor to her supervisors? Or to the medical society? Terrible situation, but try not to alienate your primary support person, even though he has disappointed you.

Hopeful, I'm so very sorry to hear about your experience. Your situation sounds worse than mine was, but no, you are not alone in not being heard by your BS. It was a difficult decision for me to make, having had very good care from the practice for 9 years, but in the end I had to go with my gut feeling and have switched to someone who not only heard my concerns. As a friend told me while I was making myself feel guilty about wanting a second opinion, this is all difficult enough without also having negative energy between you and your doctor. You also don't need that negative energy with you in the OR or during recovery. Take the best care of yourself as you possibly can, and that includes working it out with your husband. Is there someone you can talk--a therapist or counselor, even a minister--who might help with the communication issue?

Wow finally feel human again!  I think my temp broke while I was sleeping.  Was determined if I woke up with a temp was heading to the ER. Took my antibiotics,  pain meds and slept for along time.  Feel so much better.  Will just have to keep an eye on the temp and see if it goes up again.  Able to eat some soup and drink a protein shake. I was hoping for a little more smooth sailing with all this, but will do what I have to do.  Thanks Sandra you give such awesome advise. Can I hire you?  Just come live with me for the next five months..... Lol

Dear Lilith - 

I really appreciate hearing your experience and viewpoint. Sometimes I start to feel like it's just me and that's a very dark experience to have, particularly on top of the dx. 

I wish I did have someone I could talk with about that communication issue. Right off, I can't think of anyone and don't even know who I would ask for a referral at this point. I used to know many people in the therapy community due to the work I did but those I knew and liked have retired or relocated. This is such a longstanding issue, one we've discussed over and over again, that I do think it's going to take someone else's help to overcome it. 

Thanks so much for being here.

Post op day 4--Feel like I've passed the worst now.  Slept better, pain is easing off, taking less pain meds, bowels working fine, drain output started to drop.  I've got an appt on Thursday with plastics so maybe the drains will be out and I can shower again, get off antibiotics and stop worrying about how to hide drains from my 3 year old.

The mastectomy bra helps because I have not been naked from the waist up staring in the mirror at myself.  My view of my scar shows a small mound as PS told me he would put some saline in during surgery, but I'm not looking from side to side yet, which is a good thing.  Small steps, one at a time.

Was looking at mastectomy tattoos last night.  Not sure what I'll do but they looked beautiful.

Hi everyone!   I need more practice so I guess I should post more often I think since I tried three times last night and it froze on me lol.  I think it's from using the backspace to correct typos?   I was also scrolling up to post to make sure I didn't miss anyone.  

Thanks Sandra !   I keep thinking about your pic of the chick hatching amongst the "beasts".   It sums up how I feel about my latest diagnosis!   Then I saw your latest pic and felt better .  Hope you are healing well and feeling much better!

Hi Lillith!   Thanks for adding my name and info to the list!  Hoping you have clear nodes and a speedy recovery.  My BS assured me my Mx recovery would be similar to Lx.  I guess we'll see if she's right!

Osfan, welcome, and best of luck with your recovery. DIEP is quite the surgery! And at 8 hours it sounds like you've done well--I've read about 10 or 12 hours for that procedure.

I'm curious about your nodes (hooray on all of them being clear!). As one side was prophylactic, did you have any taken from that side? I have to decide pretty soon whether to allow my surgeon to do SNB on either or both sides, as both of mine are prophylactic, and yet two surgeons and an oncologist have told me it's "standard procedure". I know the risks and have posed this question here before but it doesn't hurt to get another perspective. Thanks.