On haircuts and hair hangups

I had quite a bit of trouble finding a new hairstylist after my hair started to grow back.  My hair had been limp and stick straight, but came back wavy.  My old stylist kept cutting it the old way, and it didn't work with the new texture.  So I left her and tried a new salon with a new stylist.  I gave the new one almost a year, but we never quite found the right look.  So I moved on.  I kept trying new stylists - I'd give each one several cuts to see how it went.  It didn't help that I couldn't tell them exactly what I wanted because I've never had hair like that, so I had no idea what works and what doesn't.  But even when I tried to give what guidance I could, I found the same thing as you - they didn't seem to listen and just went ahead and did what they wanted.  

After 4 years and 5 stylists, I finally found one that clicked.  He listens to me, but also suggests things that might work.  But if I say no, he respects my opinion.  One hint - I started having better luck when I tried some of the more expensive places.  I used to be a Hair Cuttery kind of gal, but now I'm at a place where they charge more than double the Hair Cuttery prices for various services.  But I've decided that I'm worth the splurge to be happy with my hair. 

Actually now that I'm comfortable with this stylist, I find I'm a lot more relaxed about my hair and willing to try new things with it.  After all, it'll grow out.  

I'd ask around your friends and co-workers who have hair that you like, and check local reviews, like Yelp.  If you can, save your money up to try a more expensive place - they're used to dealing with fussier clients and tend to bend over backwards to pamper their customers and to make us happy. For instance, at the place I go now, the shampoo ladies take extra time to give you a great head and neck massage while they're conditioning my hair - ahhhhhhhhh. 

Oh girlfriend been there done that.  I had a hair meltdown when I went in for my first "style" after treatment was over.  I had just a smidge of hair but the color was horrible; something like a pencil lead, black, grey and charcoal.   Thankfully my stylist is also a good friend and when I wanted to color it blond he said absolutely not it will wreck your hair....I was bummed but grateful that he used common sense over my need for "normal".  That same weekend I crashed emotionally and I realized that my hair was going to be short for a long time and any kind of style similar to pre-diagnosis was far in the future.  I kept trying to tell myself that I should be happy that I am well, that I had early stage cancer, that I have my life, that my treatment went smoothly, etc..etc..but the tears kept flowing about my hair!  I am sorry that you have had compassion less hair people, that was not my experience.  I've been going to my guy for many years and he made shaving my head so easy and anxiety free and has been so great in helping me deal with chemo hair.   Here's what worked for me:  I kept the very short hair a single color, sort of a light brown.  As my hair has grown out I've gone in to keep the color shiny and healthy (every 6 to 8 weeks).  Now that it's finally long enough for some sort of style I searched pintrest and on-line for short/pixie styles that would work for my hair type.  I took the pix to my stylist and he worked with me to get the one that was best for me plus we added some highlights that are close to my pre bald days.  I've had the hair for about a week now and I feel so much more comfortable, for me it feels like a normal haircut as opposed to chemo curls.  At any rate, just wanted to let you know that you are not an oddball, you are a tough survivor who needs a hair boost!!   Take some time to find a stylist who will be understanding and help you find a style that's right for you.  Best of Luck - keep us posted.

Good News and good luck.  Here's hoping your new style is a smashing success!