Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Kalypso welcome, welcome. Chevy has given you some truly good advice. You really can't tell too much till you get the pathology report back from your lumpectomy. That will give a fairly full picture of just where you are with all of this. It also will help you and your Dr. decide the best course of treatment for afterwards. Most of us were blind-sided when we "found" us what was wrong with us, but once you have your report and can actively work on getting all of the cancer cells destroyed, you may be less apprehensive.
As far as whether radiation, meds, or chemo shortening your life -- maybe it has for some, but by what percentage. For others I'm sure it does not. I guess in a round about way I'm saying I think any risk of that would pale in comparison to not doing as much as you could ( with all options carefully explored with your Dr. ) to eradicate all traces of viable cancer cells from your body.
I had 6 months of chemotherapy and 7 full weeks of radiation, and 5 years of Arimidex. I'm doing fine, feeling fine and most days seldom think about cancer anymore. I had it for awhile -- it didn't have me.
I don't know that I've made you feel better or not -- but do know that there are wonderful sites on BC. Org where you can learn a lot about the questions you have. I would advise though just sticking with the things that present the most confusion to you. Sometimes early on --- so much can seem frightening and it may be hard to determine just what may apply to you. We here are good at hand-holding and sharing your journey with you -- and giving you a restful place to join with others who have been where you are. We know that it is sometimes scary, nerve-wracking, frustrating, and we also know that often it is had to talk to people -- even some in your own family. So we offer a haven where we accentuate the positive and try to help you through what seems like some pretty negative events.
Come back as often as you need to or feel like it.
Blessings
Jackie
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Kalypso -- it's at the top of this list. That will get you right back to us. I think we will have to check on Mariel too as we haven't seen her.
Jackie
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I'm definitely one of the 'older people'. The day after my 70th birthday, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which was described as invasive and aggressive.
I've heard of belated birthday wishes, but this dx was not welcome at all. Of course, as with any disease, I have 'options'. Ha!!! Given my age and health issues going into this, I chose no treatment except a lumpectomy. The last thing I need is to be throwing up while I lose my platinum silver locks. I was left with enough fat and tissue to make my right side believable in a bra - no nipple, but it's not that important anymore. I was also offered reconstruction, but that means going into a hospital again and the threat of infection. Again, no on that.
The oncologist described the tumour as described above, but also added that he would expect me to be living two years from dx, but not 5 years. I have passed the two year mark with no real complaint. I'm not into extreme 'anything' except for necessary doses of good white wine. I'll pour it myself, thanks.
Cheers to all!!!
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Sandra - hope all is well for you.
G-mom - the first few weeks are the most challenging because everything moves so fast.mit will get better.
Crone - when we moved to new house, we started a practice of something in meas something out. I find I don't really "want stuff" because I dont wNt or use it. But things I wanted, I kept. I decided no one needs to tell me what I like or want to have around me. Even when my DH decides to retire and we move from this house, I think we can make those decisions. There are some things we get to have a say about, bodies and homes should be top priorities.
We spent the weekend with my father-in-law in his new home near my SIL. I told my husband ahead of time that I didn't want to be in the car if his father wanted to drive. He's had two mini-strokes and been told not to drive but the state saw fit to renew his license! He's 94! Was I wrong? I think our lives and those of others is more important than his desire to drive. It ended up ok because I told my FIL that our car gets over 50 mpg (hybrid) so I was happy to drive. He gave good directions and was happy to talk to DH.
It was nice to see my SIL and niece. My niece said if she didn't know, she wouldn't guess that I'd had thre surgeries in the last 10 months. I decided that meant I looked good.
Tomorrow I have to see ophthalmologist because my vision is still too blurry to read since cataract surgery. Still hoping it gets better. It was the end surgery so I can have copays only next year.
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g-mom and Kalypso, Welcome! One great bit of advice I was given was to keep all my records in one place. I used a 3-ring binder with dividers and got records of all my path reports and diagnoses. My HMO also has after visit summaries and I added those. Lots of times I would learn something new and refer back to my pathology reports to see if it applied to me. I was diagnosed at 71 and didn't want to tell a lot of people. So the support I got here was truly valuable.
Sandra, happy to hear the surgery went well. Sending thoughts of rapid healing and end of pain. Gentle hugs.
Cami, I can relate a little to your computer problem. We lost our internet for 3 days while all parties concerned blamed each other. Fixed now and I realized I'm addicted to BCO and depend on the internet for lots of things. Like bus schedules. I had to call to get the schedule, which I usually do online.
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Sabel, welcome,
A big hi to you. Wow !!! Wasn't much of a birthday present was it ???? Triple Neg. is a lot harder to deal with since there are not as many options there. Due to that, I had a friend here ( she got her cancer a while before mine ) and she begged her Dr. to give her as much of everything ( chemo and rads ) as he could and nearly hounded him to make sure he did just that. She insisted on two more chemo rounds that he said he felt were not necessary but she would not hear of having less.
We all get to pick and choose as we have the final say-so about what will be done to and with us. Cheers to you too. Come back and see us.
Jackie
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Hi Sabel! Yes.... Wine will help ANYthing.... Ha! You are probably going to be around a LOoooooong time! Don't listen to those guys..... We are all different, AND we are women! So we can do anything! Get rid of that Oncologist.... I said so.....
You know, if it were me, I don't think I would hang on to my breasts any more either! I mean why would I need them, if not just for looks? If they are hurting me, it's time to tell them good-by! I chose the Lumpectomy, because my "team" said that was all I needed... So far so good, and I'm almost 5 years out!
So hang in there kid!
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Kalypso, all treatments have side effects - some more serious than others. But you and your doctors have to weigh those side effects against the good they can do. Some women breeze through lumpectomy, radiation, and chemo. Others find it more challenging. But there are lots of threads on this website that will help you understand your situation and give you lots of tips. Breast cancer is not a death sentence and many women are in remission after treatment for many years - or forever.
The decision of treatment should be yours. Sometimes doctors don't tell you about other treatments and end up making your decision for you. Read about your kind of breast cancer (there are many different kinds) on this website and the kinds of options you have. Make a list of questions for your doctors. It's a personal decision and there is no right or wrong. I chose bilateral mastectomy rather than lumpectomy because I was afraid of heart damage from radiation and because I wouldn't have to have chemo which can have some difficult side effects. My chances of a recurrence are 1%-2% because of the double mastectomy. I don't have to take Tamoxifen or any of the other similar drugs either. My oncologist says those can reduce your chance of recurrence by half. But for me, half of 1%-2% is not worth the side effects. Each one of us is different. Some women would never chose a mastectomy when there are other options. Doctors have different ideas about breast cancer and prefer certain protocols over others, depending on your particular type of cancer.
None of us are prepared for this diagnosis. There's a LOT to talk to your doctors about. It helps to be educated enough to understand what they are saying so go up to the top and start reading the All Topics list. There are threads specifically for newcomers.
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Wren ---- some things are not so bad to be addicted too. I need at least a twice daily fix ( and sometimes a lot more ) of BC. Org and all of you. If it keeps me off the streets, it must not be too bad -- and keeps me around the house where I can actually get a little done once in awhile.
Jackie
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Teacher, I like the idea -- something new in, something old out -- that is really a good idea. I really do hope to get down to really minimal living -- but it is going to be a major challenge. I have done what little I have done in spurts -- not always a good way as you don't get back quick enough a lot of the time.
Sigh !!! The winter weather later on may help me a big more. That will really keep me inside. I'm due for a new pr. of boots this year because if it is not biting cold, I do like to spend time out of doors --- getting a little exercise.
Glad things went well with the visit to your FIL's. Most of my friends and family have seemed to recognize when they had lost their "driving" touch and voluntarily made changes. Maybe everyone can't feel when they are losing some of their competency. I sure hope I know when the times comes. Dh forced me to learn to drive and life has been wonderful for me since but for now -- I've think I've a fair amt. to go before I have to worry.
Jackie
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Welcome
to Breastcancer.org, Kalyso2005. We're sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us! The ladies certainly seem to have taken you into the'fold'.Besides sharing your experiences and learning from other members here at the boards, you may also want to take a look at the Breast Cancer 101 section from the main site, which is designed to help you sort through all of the information on our site to find what is more relevant to you right now.
Also reliable information on IDC — Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, where you'll learn about symptoms, diagnosis,
treatment, etc.Possibly of interest too is the Oncotype
DX TestWe hope
this helps!The
Mods -
loved the you Tube video of the butterfly, sent it to granddaughter and she replied Awesome.
Couple questions: what is the difference in the forums " can we have a forum for older people" and "older people with sense". If I post on one does it mean I have no sense? Just curious because the topics seem similar .
Second question: Are those who post here comfortable with have older people with Stage IV posting here ? I keep hearing that Stage IV people can make others afraid and I don't want to do that.
I have enjoyed the comraderie that is on this site.
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Crone, I'm Stage 1 and only the 3rd time posting on this thread, but have posted on many threads with Stage O through Stage 4 members posting. I had last TNBC treatment in March 2011 and continue to have lymphedema and neuropathy.
I only live in fear of yearly mammogram!
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Welcome to so many new friends. The reason for finding this group of friends isn't fun, but this is a good place to be when you need it. Serious questions or fun topics of conversation are both on the menu here. Sabel will be serving the white wine I hope. Kalypso, my friends all say I am stoic, too. I love to laugh out loud, but seldom show my fears to friends or family. A positive attitude helps lots, but open up to us when you need to. There is always someone who has experienced just what you have. And as Chevy has said, don't anyone loose this thread. There are now too many for me to address each individually. But reading and responding to stuff that trips my trigger is about all one can handle.
Mommarch - I have lived through several family members battling alcohol and some were very successful. But they did it themselves with support from those around. I know it is hard and you have my thought tonight. And never feel guilty about being angry at setbacks. That's part of it all.
Sandra, seeing that little kitty typing away caught my eye as it peeked up from the bottom of my screen. So happy you are home and praying this is the fastest recovery ever. We were all holding our breath waiting to hear from you. Keep up on the tylenol or aspirin or whatever you can handle. There are no prizes for enduring pain without using whatever you can.
Oh gosh, that hidden camera Chevy and Cami tried to use for surveillance didn't work. If it had I would have wanted to keep a recording! Two old people renewing a 45 year ago romance is rather clumsy. I'd be afraid to put him on a bus or Amtrak for fear he would get lost. This is one country boy with a touch of Alzheimers! But talking about old times is good for Alzheimers patients (and anyone over 40) so we'll see how long we can keep up communication.
Well some good TV on tonight - Public Television keeps me watching the tube all evening. Any Downton Abbey Fans among the group? Can't wait for it to start up again. And The Paradise is pretty good too. Bye All for the night.
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Phyliss,
We here are the " Forum for Older People". This thread has been here a long time. There was a dandy fluff-up here as every now and then someone comes to BC. Org who for many reasons, and despite having BC, just is not a good fit. They don't follow the rules very much at all and it creates havoc along with a lot of un-necessary drama. We try to be here for each other -- some seem to have some other agenda.
So the second thread you refer too was started by someone who didn't want to be a part of the drama -- neither did any of us, but I guess she didn't want to wait until the moderators sorted things out -- so she just started another thread.
Since I am a somewhat stubborn person -- I did not want to lose a forum we all begged the moderators to let us have -- since often our issues are different from the younger people with BC. Both forums have people with sense -- I think it was more an in-patience with having the moderators sort out the issue. That is just one part of the moderators functions here and we really rely on them a great deal. As you may have noted as well -- they step in and help clarify the needs of new people coming here since many of us ( I'm guilty ) are far enough out that we don't always look in on the other threads and forums where good information can be found. We tend to talk more from our hearts and souls here -- not bad, but not nearly as factual a lot of the time.
I have never ever been un-comfortable with anyone, Stage IV or otherwise posting here. In fact, I feel almost special if someone who is Stage IV like Cammie wants to post with us. I have to admit I've not ever heard that Stage IV posters might make others afraid.
There is a thread where anyone who isn't Stage IV is pretty much totally discouraged from posting there. It is not because there is anything frightening, but has more to do with their issues being different. Just like we older women have different issues and reactions to treatments than younger women. We come here to be together because we all have, or have had, the same disease -- but a few of the differences are a bit more pronounced --- so some choose to be very specific as to where they wish to post. It is personal choice. I'm thrilled if Stage IV people come here and are comfortable. I welcome them with open eyes and a willing heart happy to share.
Since I am not always good ( full fleshed out specifics since I talk with my heart and soul mainly ) the mods may be able to come on and offer a few words. You can always pm them and pose some questions as well.
I hope this did help to give you some clarification. Just as an aside -- in order to keep this forum here.....I posted for two or three days by myself on this forum -- determined to try not to lose it, and Chevy took pity on me and started posting back to me. We did that for awhile and then contacted a few "posters" who had been here and let them know that they would no longer be bothered if they wanted to come back.....and Carole, Rita and several others happily came back. We thrived --- we are not as big as we were, but by golly -- we weathered the storms and kept a great place right here where it belongs.
Blessings
Jackie
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Welcome newbies, we love when new people come just feel bad that they are here. u got eexcellent advice from the ladies. Dont feel bad about asking questions, dont think anybody minds answering.
The inknown is the scariest thing of all, going to different drs feeling stupid cause u have no idea what they r talking. It will get easier.
Jackie u r the best
Teka, mimi, crone, sandra, mom,teacher, cammie n chevy Hope u all had a wonderful weekend
. Still not feeling well dont have 2 go out til Tuesday..
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Crone, I love your name. There's a group here called Crone that is dedicated to growing older with power, passion and purpose. They're a lot of fun. They have a drum group called Crone Thunder. I have no problem with anyone at any stage posting here. My impression is that the stage IV people don't like lower stages posting on their threads. And I can see their point. There's a big difference between having seen a gun and staring right down the barrel. I follow a number of threads that have stage 4 posters and no one seems bothered at all.
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Hi, I'm 64, just had dm. I'm very glad to find you!
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welcome white tiger, we are the same age. You will enjoy this thread, we always have lots to share.
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Welcome white tiger
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Thank you, Jo & Blondie! I just woke - my goodness it's hot in here! No, I'm past menopause. But they did give me a shot in the hospital, something about potassium, that seems to have corrected my body heat. This is the first time in years that my feet aren't freezing.
I have something to ask you. I had the most horrid dream. And I searched for "Dreams" forum, or maybe "Psychology" but I don't find that? Is there something like that? Oh, I did find something about Depression and Anxiety, would it be in there?
Thank you!
WT
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Morning Crone! Yes, that's what it means.... It
means we have no sense... Ha! This thread was started a million years ago, and
at that time of the covered wagons and stuff, we didn't know what was going
on....But then more women came along, and we didn't have
room for them at the time, so they pulled up roots and left... But we
stayed... And no, we don't care what stage anyone is.... We all have/ or had
breast cancer, and it doesn't matter where you post....But don't go postin' anywhere else, or we will
come FIND you... Ha! There are just so many threads, and some hang around, and
some leave...Some like Biscuits and Gravy, and some like Hot
Dogs.... so it's just a matter of where you feel comfortable....I don't like conflict.... I don't like when
people argue, or try and make you feel not so good.... In other words everyone
is welcome here....Unless you misbehave , then we will make you sit
in the corner time-out thing!
And see? The Mods even "moderate" us! They don't
just leave us out here in the wild, to fend for ourselves.Oh, there's TEKA! Welcome back, you little
dickens! Where you been? No, I don't like Mammogram's either.... and mine is
coming up....Meems! What is "stoic"? Am I that? Is that
something good? If you are that, then it sounds good!I don't think Me and Cammi are "stoic".... that
sounds serious and all... Of which I am not.... Ha!That is soooooo great that you got to meet up with
that GUY you used to know! Just IMAGINE what you could teach him! It would all
be new to him!He would forGET it all, but it would be fun
anyway! You sound happy with him, and that's all that matters... Keep
calling him, so he won't forget you!He's probably forgotten by now....
Jackie, you are soooo cool! Yes.... we got each
other's backs here! We HAD to keep this thread going.... it's like we sorted
out the .... oh never mind.And yes she DID! Jackie was all here alone, for
awhile... And I just couldn't let that happen.... It was like a school-yard,
with little girls in it, and if one didn't like someone, they got the other
girls to take sides.... and that's what happened.So we are here, and not goin' anywhere! Love you
Jackie!Morning Wren! "Crone Thunder".... That must be
"her" group.... Ha! We must be nice to her... with her group and all!And hello again WhiteTiger! You and Jo are just
"girls" yet! You haven't even grown up ....like ME!~ But you will... !
You probably still wear saddle-oxfords! And your Poodle skirts! Nice to see
you here!At MY age, nice to see ANYbody! Morning Cammi....
wherever you are!(I didn't mean to have this all "bold".... but I tried to change it.... and it won't... so don't pay any attention.)
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Hello ChevyBoy - What a delightful message! What a blessing you are.
WT
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Welcome to all new posters. I feel that whatever we can share here about treatments and life are a help to others. I enjoy reading things of a serious nature as well as the funnier side of life.....Like a recent experience about standing at a doc's office in undies and a Depend! Laughed until the tears rolled down my cheeks (facial!)!!
Thanks for being here!!
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Welcome, welcome, White Tiger.
Glad you found us. As you noted -- it can get a little wild and crazy around here, but we are all for each other. We are well-seasoned ladies here and we talk about everything and anything. We do speak about diagnosis and treatments and try as best we can to help anyone new to all of it. It is a BIG DEAL no matter what age you are or how many other stormy rivers you may have crossed. I am 7 years out and have just begun the 8th. yr. count down. Had my lumpectomy in Oct. so it is time to start counting that blessing.
Blondie -- glad you don't have to go out till tomorrow and can just have a do not much of nutin' today, today. We have a spot of sun but it rained again overnight. Was a surprise when I got up. I have a small boatload of things to do today -- but really normal things -- there would be less, but I let myself get lazy for a couple of days and now I have to get it together so my "ignored, but shouldn't have " list doesn't get too long.
Well, onward to start the day. Hope yours is sunny and bright.....big hugs to everyone here.
Blessings
Jackie
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ohiofan ( FACIAL ) and I'm laughing pretty hard now.
Jackie
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Good Morning!!
)Chevy,
I've been keeping busy with Fall outdoor clean-up.
*wood vine*
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It's wonderful to meet all the newcomers. Please do post whatever is on your mind. Sometimes we get off on a crazy binge that finds us laughing for days. Then all of the sudden we come to a screeching halt to comfort one of our group. While we wish every post was full of good news, reality raises it's ugly head much too often. Believe me, nothing scares us here. Together we have experienced pretty much all life can throw at us and we're still here. We welcome your stories and want to get to know you. EVERYONE is welcome here and each and every one of you become cherished friends in no time.
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White Tiger, I'm your surgery sister. I had surgery #5 on Friday. How are you managing? Yes, I can sympathize about your dreams. The effects of general anesthesia take about a week to wear off for every hour you were out. I always have at least one good old fashioned nightmare during recovery and found out it's quite common due to the exposure to certain drugs they use in general anesthesia. Mine is always about my husband, who has dumped me for a younger woman with all her "original parts." After 44 years of marriage, I shouldn't be so insecure. Mike is totally devoted and thinks my weird dreams are funny. They don't feel funny to me. Have any of the rest of you had similar experiences?
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Good morning all ... a big welcome to all the newcomers.
Although I am fine and have been keeping up with you all by reading, I, as you know, have not posted in a few days. This must be a new phase ... a quiet phase. However, I keep you all in my thoughts, wish for your good health, and treasure your banter.
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