Every time they talk to me I get more bad news.

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jovigal
jovigal Member Posts: 41
edited October 2014 in Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results

When my ob found my lump she thought fibroid but set up mammo and u/s.  u/s tech volunteered that she thought fibroid but we'd do u/s anyway.  u/s doc said suspicious of cancer but small at 1.5 cm and "caught" early.  Biopsy showed 1.8 cm IDC with DCIS grade 1.  It's ER/PR+ her2- BUT Ki67 30%.  MRI time.  Oh wait your "small" tumor is now 2.5 cm and there's more area of suspicion (linear, clumped enhancement-not good). that's another 2.8cm.  Had MRI guided biopsy which caused a huge huge hemotoma and now I sit her with my hands shaking waiting for more bad news.  Everyone has told me to stay positive but every time I try I get scary results.

And yes I'm on anti anxiety meds.

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  • Rose_d
    Rose_d Member Posts: 144
    edited October 2014

    jovigal,

    I think the biopsy can skew future tests on the original tumor.  My MRI predicted the tumor would be 2+cm and it ended up in surgery being 1.7cm.  I think when they do the biopsy they cause trauma to the area which then is difficult to separate from the tumor itself.

    I hope you get answers soon.

    Best,

    Rose

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  • angelia50
    angelia50 Member Posts: 381
    edited October 2014

    I can so much relate to this.  I had to have a total of 5 biopsies prior to having surgery because just one thing kept leading to another and I began to fear picking up the phone when I would see that long distance phone number on there, I had gone to another city for treatment.  Mine was like a roller coaster.  One call, good news, next call, no bad news, good, bad, just seemed it would never end.

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  • WinningSoFar
    WinningSoFar Member Posts: 951
    edited October 2014

    During diagnosis, it does seem like the news just gets worse and worse.  Well, we're going from being a young healthy person to a woman with cancer.  We're making that transformation almost overnight.  I remember feeling like I couldn't even walk  upright anymore.  

    Were I you, I wouldn't worry about the tumor size too much.  Mine was estimated this, then bigger, then smaller, then it was taken out--and honestly, I don't even remember now what it actually was.  

    Once your diagnosis 'phase' is over, things will level out. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2014

    I had that dang hematoma too.  My (core) biopsy ended up taking forever because they couldn't see under/around it, even with ultrasound guiding. 

    I remember one doctor saying something like "you're no different today than you were yesterday when you didn't know" (I must have wanted to hurry up the surgery or something?).  They weren't the exact words, but I remember thinking how untrue that was.  We're all a compilation of our experiences; every moment is another brick in our wall. The cancer had not grown since yesterday, but I didn't know about it yesterday so I am different. 

    So you hang in there, utilizing any form of support that helps (the meds, going camping, a cocktail, shopping, playing with pets, or visiting with your sisters here on BCO). No matter what the docs say, or how they measure it, it's not an exact science.  Best to ya. 

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited October 2014

    jovigal - I wish there was a magic wand to take away the anxiety. It is oppressive. Do what you can to get good sleep, keep exercising, and try to do things to take your mind off BC. I found going to a really loud action movie gave me a blessed hour and a half of freedom from the fear. You just have to get through the next day, hour, or even minute. Forget feeling positive - feel what you feel. Gentle hug. 

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