Just diagnosed 9/16/14 - so scary!

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mmb70
mmb70 Member Posts: 5
edited September 2014 in Just Diagnosed

3D mammo 9/10 showed changes from previous. Sent for Ultrasound 9/12- I just knew...I was so scared and lost it! I can't describe the feeling, but I know you all know that feeling. The mannerisms of the tech, radiologist, and nurse...I just knew. There was no offer of any hope as I was desperately, quietly seeking. Nothing but sympathetic expressions. I didn't want my results (they were able to biopsy it right then) by phone. I needed someone else there with me for support & extra ears. The next 4 days were excrutiating...shocked, frightened, helpless, anxious beyond words. Then the news that confirmed what I already just knew "you have breast cancer." My response was just a head nod and "I knew." Scheduled with onc surgeon that morning for review of path report. It was nerve wracking and again I broke down upon hearing at least Stage 2. I was told I WILL have chemo, I WILL have surgery, and I WILL have radiation. Breathe. It seems all aspects of my report were opposite of what you want to hear. This is hard. BREATHE. What I know from that appt is Er-/Pr-, HER2+, 2.6cm in left (clinically he felt it a bit larger). This appt left me even more scared...scared it could be all over inside of me! :-( Set me up with a MRI of breasts and ultrasound guided biopsy of lymph node under my arm that was enlarged based on onc surgeons clinical exam. I expected it to have cancer, but held hope...was positive. The MRI showed no concerns with right breast, but showed another 7mm, slightly suspicious area at 11:00 (2.6cm mass was at 12:00). It just seems I convince myself I can do this and build some positivity just to go to yet another appt and find yet more bad news. It is so hard to stay strong/positive! So...Next appt is with the entire team (including my first meeting with my MO) to discuss my picture/treatment. Onc surgeon is pretty positive chemo will come first. I need some encouragement! Thankful to hear stories from those who have been through this emotional rollercoaster! Just scared, so scared! 

Comments

  • Bren58
    Bren58 Member Posts: 1,048
    edited September 2014

    mmb, I am so sorry that you have been given this diagnoses, it can be a hard thing to wrap your head around. It sounds like you already have your team in place which is huge first step. There are many ladies on these boards who have a lot of wisdom to share. There is a steep learning curve with this disease, so don't be afraid to ask questions. The fact that you are Her2+ is actually a good thing, because there have been many break throughs in the last several years to fight it. You will almost certainly be getting Herceptin and possibly Perjeta as part of your chemo regime as these are the best drugs to combat Her2+ cancers.

    It is very hard to remember and comprehend everything that you will be hearing in your meeting with the doctors so make sure you take someone with you who can support you, listen and take notes. You WILL get through this and there are a lot of ladies here that will help you!

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited September 2014

    Hello mmb, and welcome to Breastcancer.org. We're sorry you have to be here, but very glad you've found us.

    We understand that this must be a very overwhelming time for you. Here is a safe community where you can feel free to post about your frustrations and concerns. We also have a wealth of information on our site that you may find useful. In particular, check out our pages:

    Breast Cancer 101 and Important Links if Just Diagnosed.

    Please keep us posted as to how things are going for you.

    Warmest regards,

    The Mods

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2014

    mmb70:

    It is scary, to be sure.  But it looks like you are really on top of your diagnosis and treatment (I was clueless about all the terminology when I was diagnosed). And it also sounds like you have already assembled a "team," and that you seem confident in their efforts. So that's all very good news. You've also found a very supportive and informed group of people on this forum.  I wish I'd known about it when I was first diagnosed. There was no one to ask any questions, and I was a working single mom.  You'll find a lot more people on some of the other discussion boards as your treatment progresses (there are boards based on stage, pathology, and more). So while I lament your diagnosis, I also applaud your preparation--and I wish you all the best. One day at a time girl. 

  • Nancy2581
    Nancy2581 Member Posts: 1,234
    edited September 2014

    Gosh I so know that scary feeling.  It's awful.  I was diagnosed early June and I will say as many said to me it does get better.  It's great that you already have your team there as others have mentioned.  Try to take it one day at a time.  I know it's easier said then done.  I have one more A/C treatment this Tuesday and I will be halfway done.  It's gone by fast as it will for you too.  Hang in there.

    Nancy

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited September 2014

    mmb, so sorry you found yourself here. It is a very frightening time. I found that once my treatment started, I felt a sense of relief. You will get there. It is a very difficult thing to wrap your head around and takes time. I applaud you for all you have done so far.  Please consider taking a trusted person with you to your next appointment. Everything may seem like a whirlwind and it's hard to comprehend, retain and remember all that is said. Try to stay away from Dr Google! Wishing you the best! 

  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited September 2014

    I'm impressed you have a team together! I never felt I was being managed by a team at all, but that I was passed from person to person with little communication, which was a little disquieting!

    Good luck with all your treatment. I'm sure you'll do well! xxx

  • mmb70
    mmb70 Member Posts: 5
    edited September 2014

    Thank you all! I come here often now, usually in times of anxiety. I have very supportive family & friends, but as I am sure you all feel...this is a different sort of family with similar understanding and that really helps as well! So, thank you all again! Comforting. 

    Thinking & praying for you all! 

    ~mmb70

  • lynnetteb75
    lynnetteb75 Member Posts: 33
    edited September 2014

     hugs to you first mmb....first your very fortunate to have so much accomplishment in just a few short weeks..I first found my lump on August 5 so its almost been 2 months and I still dont have a surgery day...but I know your road ...I went threw the same thing had a grip on it went for a mri and then bam another mass...after that I had a pretty big party unfortunately it was only me invited as it was a pitty party for my self :-) ...I felt like how come every time they touch me something new comes up...overwhelmed sad angry and just pissed.....ive always been the strong one in my family  kind of the glue that holds the family together. for my mother and siblings the one with all the answers.always in control of everything...but this is something I cant control which made me even more angry... finally I realized when two of my friends came over and brought me beautiful flowers and a bottle of tequila to sit and cry and have margaritas with me .lol I snapped out of it and looked around with how blessed I am to have so many loving people around me..its scary and overwhelming but curable..and what we are all going threw is hard but we will all make it threw..its not forever its our time to let others be there for us to help us and to kick some cancer butt...all the women here are strong beautiful women and  if you ever need to rant scream or cry ..we are all here fighting with you......

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited September 2014

    Hi honey, I was diagnosed while preparing for my wedding, I know all those feelings you described as do most of us,I know it is hard right now to stay Positive But really it help me thru, first I got my cry out then I got mad and said aloud" cancer you must leave my body, I went on to still cry sometime and be overwhelmed. But as treatment started and I was going thru treatment I started to say Positve things to myself, couldn,t sleep at first got meds for that and then with help from my Fiancee at the time and family and friends I slowly started to feel Positive, no it wasnt immediate, but it did come, I went on to get married and am now a 20 yr Survivor(Praise GOD) so I truly believe that having HOPE and staying Positive did indeed work for me. msphil( idc, stage2, 0/3 nodes, L mast, chemo(cytoxin, adriamycin, 5 fu, rads, 7 wks for 5 days wk, and 5 yrs on tamoxifen)

  • mmb70
    mmb70 Member Posts: 5
    edited September 2014

    Thank you for your encouraging messages. You are all so wonderful! ♡ Since my initial post, I met with my team last week and really did feel so much better. They spent 2 & 1/2 hours with me, my husband, and sister discussing my case and what my treatment would look like, including time frames, etc. When you all said just knowing this makes you feel better...you were so right! I had a PET Scan last week as well and was again terrified of hearing the results, but I am so happy to report that it was clear other than the breast mass and 1 node that we were already aware of. What a relief that was! I will now meet with the Plastic Surgeon on Tuesday and will then hopefully have a surgery date scheduled by the end of the week! I am so ready to press on and get this started!!! The team initially thought they would do chemo first, but have now decided surgery first. I also opted for a double mastectomy even though my right side was fine. 

    I continue to pray for all of you wonderful women taking this journey with me!

    ~mmb

  • kcarcarey
    kcarcarey Member Posts: 7
    edited September 2014

    I just got my pet scan back and the called me to say that my nodes are swollen under both arms. I have to have a bilateral sentinel node biopsy tomorrow. I am so scared about how I will be able to work with both side operated on. I was also told I have a add pot on my left scapula.  My invasive ductal carcinoma is on my right breast. I am scheduled for a BMW October 7th. I'm freaking out that now my other side could have cancer and now a spot on mt scapula so now thinking I could have bone mets. Has anyone had a bilateral sentinel node biopsy

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