October 2014 Surgery Sisters

Hi all!  I've been lurking on the boards for a few months, read 100+ pages on the Weekly Taxol Group and all the posts in the August and September Surgery Sisters groups. I have surgery scheduled for October 23 and am terrified!

The plan is for a mastectomy on the left (cancer) breast with immediate reconstruction (implant) and a lift/reduction/implant on the right side if my insurance will approve it. If not then a double mastectomy with implants. 

When I was 28 I had a +/- mastopexy...lift, reduction + implants for shape. It was a 3 hour outpatient surgery, fairly complex but my recovery was surprisingly easy. I felt like I'd been hit by a semi immediately afterwards but only needed prescription pain pills the first night, and was even out driving after a few days. It was really the best and biggest indulgences I've ever done for myself!  Now, 26 years and 3 kids later they're back to where they started and still heading south. I've been given the option of a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and chose the latter thinking that the surgery would be pretty much the same as my mastopexy. But after reading about so many women's surgeries and recoveries...boy, was I wrong!  Now I'm constantly second guessing myself. 

I'm  a single mom with no family other than my children. I have a 12 year old at home and a 20 year old that will be flying in for a week two days before my surgery. He'll be leaving the fifth day after my surgery, after that  I'm on my own taking care of my youngest one. Getting him up, making school lunches, driving him to school...is any of this even doable?  Or have I completely lost my marbles?  I have a couple neighbors that I could probably ask for help if I had to...but I REALLY hate asking anyone for help!  I drove myself to all of my chemo treatments and doctors appointments. I even drove myself to the hospital for my port placement but they wouldn't think of letting me drive myself home. 

I know that the lumpectomy would be an easier surgery with quicker recovery. And I know that choosing the mastectomy is purely for vanity's sake...it won't change my chances of recurrence or survival. I just feel like I should be able to reward myself with small, perky breasts after going through hell all summer with chemo!

Sorry this is so long, I've kept a lot inside for so long and hope that I can share my fears here and get some great opinions and advice. Thanks in advance!

Hi SCMom and welcome!

I had a BMX in May. I had no trouble taking care of my drains myself but I was utterly exhausted for about a week. I couldn't drive for almost two weeks. My pain was pretty much under control with Tylenol or ibuprofen by about day 4. The simplest tasks seemed to take forever. There was no way I could do any housework, cook, etc. for a couple of weeks. You will need time to rest and heal and you will need some help. If you do too much, your recovery will be delayed and you're setting yourself up for complications.

Maybe things will come together faster for you than they did for me, but try to get some help lined up. The best advice I was given was, "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!"

SCMom Welcome to the group sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. I agree with 3littlebirds try to find some help if you can. I'm taking 3 weeks off work with a 4 week if needed. My mom is coming up from Fla for the first week and my daughter is coming the second week. I have girl friends who will be there for the third to do the grocery shopping and cooking. My husband has taken 2 weeks of FMLA to stay home. 

If you don't have anyone call your local chapter of the American Cancer Society they have volunteers who will help with shopping and driving, etc. 

Good luck to all of our surgery sisters. 

Nope, tagging doesn't work. I asked the Mods about it yesterday, as they linked my name in the discussion header--all that does is allows people to click on my name and send me a message. Mods said we don't have the ability to tag at this time, but maybe something for the future.

I'm so glad to hear about the heart shaped pillows--will have to ask about them here. Was going to see if a friend might make me a couple, but if there are freebies around, all the better!

Lillth08 - Thank you for the welcome!  I just really hate asking anyone for help, especially neighbors...I tend to be a very private person. I've read that the nurses at the hospital will show me how to empty my drains so I expect to be able to do it myself...although I am a bit squeamish and it sounds really gross!  I'm pretty sure a visiting nurse isn't an option with my insurance. 

3littlebirds - Thank you!  Your recovery sounds like it was great, relatively quick and pain free compared to so many stories I've read here on the boards. I hope my recovery goes as well as yours!  I know I'm going to need to not worry about keeping the house clean and knowing it's ok to let the laundry pile up!

Jrsno1fan - Thank you for the welcome!  You're really blessed to have so many people to help you!  I had forgotten about the volunteers from the Cancer Society...I'll definitely look into that. Is it weird that I'd be more comfortable accepting help from strangers than from neighbors and acquaintances?

I had a bit of a meltdown today but came out of it with a bit more clarity. I think the reason I've been so hyper stressed out about surgery is because there are so many unknowns. I feel like I need to do a lot more research even though my surgery is already on the books. For example, I only met with the PS once, about two weeks ago, and won't see him until my surgery. There was no discussion about types or sizes of implants!   And I guess he won't know exactly what he'll be able to even do with me until he goes in and sees what my BS has left for him to work with. He seemed really nice but I'm also having reservations about a PS that I've seen several times on Groupon with teeth whitening deals! 

I really hope to get things sorted out and have everything make more sense to me.  I really want to be able to support and cheer on my October surgery sisters!

SCmom, I would have reservations about your PS as well. I only met with mine once, but, it was for an hour and a half and we made all the decisions on the implants. He had a bunch of them out on the counter - of course my DH had to take them all for a test drive. LOL! There are so many choices. I am sure Whippetmom will give you some good advice.

Hi Sandra4611 - I've read through the entire September surgery board so I know you've been through ALOT and bring a lot of experience here!  I saw the implant sizing thread and had thought about looking into that...it seems like Whippetmom is brilliant with sizing information. In my case the plan is to go straight to implants without TE's...but the PS won't know until he's seen what the BS has left for him to work with...meaning I won't know what's been done until I wake up after the surgery...pretty scary!

SummerSun - It sound like your BS will be great, to me that sounds like a lot of time that he spent with you!

Lillith08 - I do want to know everything in advance too, that's why the fact that there are so many unknowns are driving me crazy!  Yes, my BS not only does teeth whitening but Botox, hair implants, surgery...seems like he does anything that will bring in money. I'm just hoping he has nurses or technicians to do the smaller things and that his expertise is with surgery.  I've read through some of the NOLA board and am super envious of all the women who get to work with these surgeons who work on breast restoration only!

We'll, I've got several phone calls to make this morning, and then I get to go get my teeth cleaned...not something I'd normally be excited about but I'm afraid chemo did a number on them so I'm happy to go today!

Happy Monday everyone!

Thanks for the list!!! Im still pretty foggy in the head and having a hard time focusing on what I need to do.  !!!  

I'm joining the September surgery sisters. I have my bilateral mastectomies scheduled for Tuesday, October 14, with a sentinel biopsy.

mefromcc - welcome to our group, happy you're here!

3littlebirds - I did get an appt. with my PS for this Thursday, I'm starting a list of questions to ask. I'm nervous to ask him how many of these surgeries he's done, do you think a doctor might get offended at this question? I don't want to make him mad, he's going to have a lot of power over me and my body soon!  The straight to implants seemed to make the most sense to me as they'll be removing 26 year old implants, and I don't mind if I end up smaller. And I'd be surprised if I didn't need revisions but hopefully they'll be small, in office ones. 

It looks like Swoobs is having the straight to implants surgery on the 7th, I look forward to hearing about her surgery. 

Laurie2025, 3littlebirds, SummerSun and sandra4611 - wow, a lot of surgeries coming up this Friday!  How are you all feeling, is there anything we as a group can do for y'all?  Sandra, does going into each surgery get any easier for you after going through so many?

Hope everyone's been having a great Monday!

Patients are encouraged to ask their doctor about how many surgeries of the type they have done, so I don't think most get embarrassed.

mefromcc, congrats on your marriage! I think it helps to have the warrior mentality when fighting the Cancer Game. 

SCMom, are your current implants over or under the muscle? Where is your PS planning to place your new ones? I don't think a PS would get offended at any questions you ask, especially if you're just trying to learn as much as you can about your surgery. He has lots of patients, but you have just one you! 

I'm jumping in and adding my name to the October list. On the 14th I'll have LX and ANLD, as we already know one node is involved. 

I'm nervous, as the only surgical procedure I've had (foot surgery a LONG) time ago was day surgery, no general. At the same time, I am ready to be doing something about this tumor and any other cells floating around out there. 

Wish me luck - and best to everyone else out these spending October dealing with this.

Wow - day surgery for BMX - that's determination for you, although I do agree with your reasoning. I will think of you on the 14th and send you some good energy - although it may be mixed with a cocktail of sedatives!

One surgeon was set for day surgery for my procedures but all the RNs in the center, AND the BS I eventually chose, argued in favor of an overnight stay, which my husband championed, too. They all talk about confirming pain control - I think they just want to make sure I'm not too groggy to follow the instructions for dealing with the drain My step-mom is a retired surgical nurse - she understands the qualms about infections but agrees about the stay, although she did offer to come over and help with the drain. I told her that being at the other end of a phone line should suffice. 

Do you have to do the anti-bacterial showers the night before and day of surgery? I see a real push to help control infection with some of the recent measures but also like the idea of the hand sanitizer on the tray table and the hand washing reminder.

Good luck - and let me know how it goes!

Thanks, SCMom - 

Yes, it is a bit scary. I'm planning to discuss options for a block plus MAC and see if she'll go for it. I truly feel that the fewer chemicals I have to put into my body at this point, the better. There were some posts a while back by a nurse anesthetist who uses that approach, and had her own LX and ALND using the same - so I know it can be done. 

I think even a single night stay for BMX is pushing it, much less none at all, but what do I know - I'm not an insurance executive.  

I'll be thinking of you on the 23rd, SC. Good luck with all your preparations and the surgery and recovery.