I cry at EVERY appointment!

jovigal, 

Sorry you need this website. Getting diagnosed, being tested, all the Dr. appts in the beginning are a nightmare. I am not a crier, but I think maybe it is a good thing. Dealing with it, crying when you feel that emotion is ok. 

Once the surgeon & oncologist come up with a treatment plan it does get easier. Dealing with the unknown is hellish. 

Be kind to yourself, there is no correct or perfect reaction to the roller coaster of breast cancer. I did not have any emotion until 6 months into it, during radiation. If you need anxiety meds, ask for them. I did not, cause I had confidence that I did not need them. I regret that, they help. 

Crying at appointments is fine, its not humiliating, all the TV ads say how devastating a cancer diagnosis is......

Jovigal,

It is hard, but know that you aren't alone.  Even a month after the diagnosis, I still cry at the weirdest moments sometimes.  I broke down crying in my BS's office when he saw me at my follow-up and said the next step was to meet with the MO.  For some reason the word "Oncologist" sent me over the edge.  Even though I knew I had cancer, the fact that I was seeing a cancer specialist just hit me like a ton a bricks.  I think it is very healthy to cry.  *big hugs* and take deep breaths.  You can do this.

Jovigal - you are in titled to react however you react, if that means crying then cry, if that means being angry then be angry. I cried on the way to my Dr. appointments, cried at the appointments, every time I turned around I was crying. The first time I met my PS, I just cried and cried and I felt like a fool when I left. You will get through this, it may not feel like it but you will. Take care of yourself and take lots of deep breaths. Do what makes you happy and remember this to shall pass. ((Hugs)) 

Crying, to be expected and if you were not - then I would say there is a problem,    You will adjust over time, and there will be great days and sad days.  

Gentle hugs

Hello Jovial,

I'm so glad you decided to reach out on here and post about how you feel. I am not yet diagnosed (still trying to make my way through all the appointments and a future surgery for a final diagnosis), but ever since this all started two months ago, I find myself crying a lot. And I mean a lot! Puffy eyes, hard to breath and stuffy nose. I look terrible most of the time!

This morning I dropped my son off at the bus stop and was going to work out, but turned around, came home and spent a good hour crying in my bedroom. Besides crying a lot at home, I cry in my car in the garage, in parking lots and any where I think it's hard for others to see me even behind my sun glasses! So you are not alone. As a mental health therapist, I can tell you that crying is normal. Your world has been turned upside down and you have suffered a loss- that peace of mind and sense of control over your own body that was there before all this started. You have to mourn and allow yourself to pass through this time. Shoppygirl is right, don't think you have to be brave and face this like it doesn't affect you. I'm right there with you as are all the other women on here. You are never alone.

Jovigirl - It is okay to cry.  It is okay to laugh.  It is okay to be angry.  It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling at the present time.  Give yourself the time to grieve.  Once you have a treatment plan in place, it really does get easier. 

If you want to, you can call your doctor, he or she will be glad to prescribe something to help with the anxiety.  I haven't gone that route, but know people that have and it really does take the edge off.

October is coming up and you know what that means - Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  A friend of mine that is a survivor gave me some great advice about it.  She said since everything is still so new for me that it is okay to disengage this month.  Just because I have breast cancer doesn't mean I have to embrace the month and wear everything pink.  Take her advice - move through the month at your pace and forget about breast cancer awareness.  You are fully aware already.

Please be good to yourself. 

Jovigal....when I was diagnosed in July with a 5 cm tumor I had myself buried. Cried all day everyday, still do a lot. Just like you..I thought I was a tough cookie, could handle anything..but even the toughest of the tough get knocked down. AND WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY, KICK, SCREAM..WHATEVER WE NEED TO DO !
When I went in for my BMX (4 weeks ago) the tumor turned out to be much smaller than they thought !!

I hope this helps you. The women on this site ARE AWESOME, very very supportive so don't give up and come here as much as you can because like I said..even tho I don't post everyday, I try to come here everyday just for support..its good to have a place to go where your not alone   (((((hugs)))))

jovial- I've. Cried more times than I can count. It's overwhelming and confusion rules the day. I even threw a tantrum like a three year old on my bed one night. It took a few weeks for things to quiet down. Now I have been doing this for a while. Sometimes I still get emotional, but it's not an all consuming thought anymore. Let people know you're hurting. They'll never know exactly how to react unless you show them. Even then they'll get it wrong. Take as long as you like. Cancer sucks!!!!!!!

I cried when a pharmacist who filled my pre-chemo drugs, touched my hands tenderly and wished me good luck with all this.  So you see you are not alone with crying.  Don't be too hard on yourself and remember, crying is much like a stress-reliever.  I feel better after a good cry and I hope you do too.

Amy

Hello to all and welcome to all. This is an interesting Topic as it is so important to discuss that time from first being told that 'C' word, when you almost go into shock.

It is an incredibly emotional time as it bring your mortality to the fore and "why me?" is a big statement. It is OK to cry and probably healthy to do so as it releases some tension (to a small degree). If your husband, relatives and friends cry with you it is because they are worried about you too. We Mods get emotional reading your stories too.

The interesting part that so many above have stated, is that it gets better. That is so important for newbies to read - it is statements by those who have been through this that mean so much. It is possible, that initially you have no control over anything but just having to wait for a progression of test results and appointments. Then, as stated above, once a treatment plan is developed and surgery you can start to regain some sort of control again and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

We wish you all the best and always consider that all the people on this forum have been there too and are willing to help you through the process. The level of support you give each other here is so fantastic to see.

The Mods

Hi, Devine - Just wanted to wish you well as you heal from surgery and refine your treatment plan. I'm new at this, too. Surgery's in 2.5 weeks, won't know the rest of it until after that, although I do know I have 1 positive node. (Ugh.) Take care of yourself. Good luck with all the rest of it.

xoxox. I cry anytime someone tells me they are praying for me! I have no idea why? 

Don't be embarrassed about crying . It's freaking scary and overwhelming to be diagnosed with cancer.

I was diagnosed in July of this year. I am a registered nurse and am so uncomfortable being a patient, but I think of all the patient s I sat with as they were told their diagnosis and cried with them.it's okay and it's normal

For the first time in my life the cancer diagnosis was something I had NO control over and I was but a passenger along for the ride. I am a big control freak due to childhood "issues". I made sure my husband came with me on appointments but the first one he did not attend I called him in tears from the waiting room. Couldn't stop crying. Luckily I was the only patient in the waiting room but all of the office staff kept peeking at me. 

I agree with what one poster said about seeing certain words that NOW pertain to you. When I first entered the Cancer Center I looked up at the sign on the building and said "oh my God".... I could not believe that I was the patient. I am a hospice nurse so I have a distorted view of cancer.

The tears still come, for so many different reasons...after surgery is another emotional time. You are not alone, keep venting here....it is so helpful.