MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Lesson-schmesson. I don't think there is any huge ta-da in all this. Cancer sucks, treatment's a bitch and it takes stamina and focus to move on in good order. I can say though that I am much more conscious of the need to enjoy my life, laugh, treat myself well and avoid hanging around people who treat me badly, bore me or otherwise detract from my life. I also make a conscious effort not to sweat the small stuff so much.
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Nativemaine..so close to me
...and thank you for the encouragement. Everyones battle is different, doesn't matter what the treatment is ! Here's something that someone said to me today...I was on facebook this morning..even tho Im exhausted and in pain, today has been a pretty good day as far as no crying and pretty decent mood (thank goodness)...anyway, so Im on fb and being in a good mood I wrote my status as follows "Where's the maid, I need more coffee oh and she can wash my floors while shes waiting for my java to brew lol " A friend replies back with "your such a spoiled brat AnnMarie" I almost lost it ! I was joking my friend lol I wish I had a maid...but seriously, this is someone Ive been friends with since high school, she even went to my first day of all the doc appointments when I was diagnosed so she knows Im far from rich ..hell, I have been out of work SINCE july. How ignorant...but, I laughed it off. Ignorance is bliss I guess ??
Great advice Momine !! -
The written text nowadays is not the best way to communicate. Emotion does not show - she could have been kidding too. You put an "lol" after what you said - captain obvious, but she didn't. How are you to know??
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Momine: great advice!
Mel: welcome to the gang. I don't think there is any grand lesson to be learned here,, except my personal philosophy: sh*t happens. Don't blame yourself for getting this. You can do everything right and it still gets you. Nothing drove that home for me more than when Linda McCartney (Paul's wife) died of BC. I thought: here is someone who is a vegetarian, has all the money in the world to go anywhere for treatment and it killed her too. Thus: it can happen to any of us. I say: enjoy life, get rid of the toxic friends and don't sweat the small stuff. I have a sign on my refrig: will this matter in a year? That pulls me back to earth when I start getting pissed about something dumb, like being on hold with the cable company. Sure, it's a good idea to eat more veggies and exercise, I try to do that too, but I'm not going to turn down some ice cream either!
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Glennie: I love your sign - WILL IT MATTER NEXT YEAR. Adding it to my fridge.
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Thanks for all the comments, everyone! I'm reassured to see that I'm not an oddball for not having a big revelation after this.
I do recognize a common theme from many of you like Mulligan that it is a crap shoot, cancer doesn't discriminate and stuff just happens. For me, I need to remember that and take the advice to not to blame myself.
Glennie - I had forgotten about Linda McCartney...that's a very good point.
And Momine, I think you hit the nail on the head by saying it takes stamina and focus and a conscious effort.
I'm also motivated by everyone's comments to enjoy life, treat myself well, get rid of the toxic friends and to not sweat the small stuff! I am going to make a conscious effort to do those things.
Kathec - Yes, my surgeon checked the sentinel nodes on both sides since I had something show up on the MRI on the left side, too. It was very small and the biopsy on it had been negative, but he was worried about it and was going to originally do a lumpectomy on that side. After discussing things with him I ended up doing the bilateral mastectomy instead so he checked the nodes just in case. Thankfully, that side was all benign.
NativeMainer - I haven't decided yet how I feel about the whole running races/survivor walks yet. It's a little hard to get behind the mammo thing since I faithfully had them for years and even had two diagnostic mammos and ultrasounds and a 3D mammo since 2012 and none of them picked up my 7.4 cm mass. It showed up on an MRI after I noticed my nipple was inverting. I think I'm for mammos, but I'm also for not relying solely on them since they don't pick up everything.
I am happy that my insurance is paying for a few appointments with a nutritionist. I have Celiac so I can't eat anything with wheat, rye or barley in it and I also have trouble with dairy so I'm looking for some good tips. About the only thing the doctor told me was to eat a low fat diet and exercise. I already was pretty low fat since I only rarely eat dairy and that was where most of my fats used to come from back when I could eat it many years ago. He also said no soy...I already have avoided soy protein since that was also something I had trouble with, but I had continued to eat things with soy lecithin and soy oil since I didn't get symptoms from them and they seem to be in so many things. Anyone know if we're supposed to avoid all soy? I'm also confused about whether or not flax is 'ok'. I need to go check out some of the threads on diet here!
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There are a lot of opinions about diet. Some prefer to avoid soy protein isolate, and other soy "products" but that "real" soy like tofu or edamame is OK. I lean that way myself. Not sure why flax is bad, but I do add that to my protein shakes cuz I like the extra fiber. I try to stick to "real" food as much as possible. I don't have celiac, but I did Atkins for years and I feel much better on that type of diet. I get weird blood sugars swings when I eat bread/pasta, etc, so I tend to avoid those. You may want to check out the primal or paleo diets as they avoid wheat and mostly avoid dairy too. Mark's Daily Apple is a website about paleo life that you might want to check out; his book is called The Primal Blueprint. And there are tons of primal-type recipes out there. My favorite is Well Fed: Paleo recipes for people who love to eat by Melissa Joulwan. And there are a lot of threads on diet here too. -
Thanks - I will check out the paleo diet and Mark's Daily Apple. I also have blood sugar issues...had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies and have trouble when I eat too many carbs but I have been relying on them more than I should. They found a way to make gluten free bagels, muffins and cookies taste yummy and I couldn't resist! Since cancer I've been cutting back on those. I was just peeking at some of the diet threads here and will keep checking them.
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Mel, as far as I know, a low-fat diet is mostly useful for triple-negative BC. It is, however, an advantage to stay slim either way, but especially with ER+ cancer, and for some a low-fat diet may be necessary to achieve that. I need a fair amount of fat, in order to keep my weight steady, but I get most of my fat from olive oil, nuts and fish.
Soy is probably best avoided, especially, as mentioned, soy proteins and other soy-derived mystery foods.
A correlation has been found between high intake of dairy fat and relapse of BC. Correlation is not causation, but I try to limit dairy fat, although this is a challenge for me since I love cheese.
There seems to be some connection between elevated blood sugar and BC. So keeping blood glucose steady is probably a good idea, meaning that you want to get some regular exercise and limit processed carbs, sugar etc.
Because femara/letrozole can raise cholesterol, I also limit red meat and eggs.
I do not know about the flax. Some sources say to stay away, others advocate eating it daily. Truly, beats me. For the most part, I do not eat it.
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Glennie, that is a great fridge sign, lol. It reminds me of my approach to my kid's grades in school. I always argued that by the time she graduated HS, nobody would give a flip how many As she got in 7th grade, and that by the time she graduated college, nobody would care what her HS grades were.
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Ganzgirl--I had to
smile at your fb story, so many things are posted there and then misunderstood
or taken the wrong way.Try not to take
it too seriously unless you know for sure your friend wasn't trying to be funny
in return.Laughing it off is good!Glennie--"Will
it matter in a year?"is a great
leveler!Mel--The soy thing
is still rather up in the air, lots of talk about the difference between the
fermented stuff and the other versions, but like aspartame, it's in
everything.Almost not possible to
totally avoid it.I'm taking the road of
avoiding the obvious sources of soy, generally eating well, and not worrying
about the rest.The American Cancer
Society did a study on bc survivors and diet that showed that a low-fat, high
fruit and veggie diet did not change the rate of recurrence or a second
bc.So the whole thing is still up for
grabs, no one really knows what will help and what will hurt.The research on flax is the same, no clear
benefit or detriment. -
Momine: so true about the grades. Struggled so hard to get good grades in high school, for college,, then worked hard in community college for good grades to get into pharmacy school. Once there,, OMG,, WAY harder,,, managed to graduate with a solid B average. And in the long run,,, as long as I passed the exam for my license,,, that was all that mattered. No job wanted my GPA! **do you have a current license, in good standing?** That's all they want. Grades matter only while you stay in the academic world,,,, afterwards,,, not so much. -
here's my sign. Printed off of someone's Facebook page.
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Homemom...yes it is very easy to misinterpret a written message
And that sign, love it !!!..Im making my own and putting it on my fridge too. I (lately) seem to get mad about so much more than I use to so this will bring me back down to earth
I don't think Im mad at myself for getting cancer, I more mad at what I see in the mirror now and mad at the pain/uncomfortable(ness) that I constantly feel.
Im sure my friend didn't mean anything bad by what she said on my fb..which IS why I laughed it off but I definitely thought it was ignorant. I should probably mention tho, that she had jut found me on fb about 6 months ago and we are still kind of getting reacquainted. We were joined at the hip until we grew up and life just kinda got in the way (kids, jobs, hubby's). Still love her tho !
The beginning of the week was not good for me so I apologize if I came off &itchy to anyone. BUT on a good note. I slept AWESOME last night, finally
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I 'm not mad at getting cancer. I'm a firm believer in Sh*t happens. I'm mad that my BS left excess skin so that I'm not flat, which is what I wanted, and will now need another surgery to get rid of it. And I'm mad that I got lymphedema, which is a royal pain in the @$$.Bitch away ganzgirl,,, we are here for you. It's hard to reconnect to someone that you have't seen in years. Give it some time.
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I had my appointment with the nutritionist at the hospital today. She said that I can eat soy since it's in most things. The natural soy, like tofu (blah) and Chinese food along with soy sauce and protein bars are ok. She gave me a hand out that states soy does not cause breast cancer and can in fact lower your risk of re occurrence. She said the study has been adamant about his for the last 5 years. At the very least she said I can consume soy without worrying about it. The handout was from The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.
I need to watch my potions and start exercising again. I meet with her in 6 weeks. I'm also going to start wearing my fitbit again.
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Has anyone heard of plastic causing cancer ? I just heard it on Dr Oz. It's not the first time Ive heard this. They are saying that if you leave water bottles in your car in the heat or cook with plastic (Tupperware) in the microwave...hmm
Thank you glennie ...this site really has been a great source of support for me
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ladies
I've had an invitation from the Today show to appear with Joan Lunden on Oct 1 !!! Not sure if it will work out, but I sure hope it does! We connected through my Sassy Head and I think they were disappointed I'm not bald. If they will allow me to plug my product, I will shave my precious hair!
Stay tuned....
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Jbokland, That would be so exciting!
Ganzgirl, Here is a link that could answer some of your questions and ease your concerns. Before I stopped working, I was a hazardous materials specialist and I am familiar with this topic. It truly depends on the type of plastic and what it's intended use is. Some containers are safe to reuse, others not. Some plastic containers can be heated, others not. Check out this link. It will give you specifics on the different types of plastics.
http://www.breastcancer.org/risk/factors/plastic
Hugs to everyone!
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NativeMainer - very interesting about the American Cancer Society study on diet. I guess you're right and they just really don't know.
Glennie - love the sign! Sorry to hear you have to have another surgery and that you got LE. I'd be mad about that, too.
HomeMom - I sure will be happy to keep eating my Honey Mustard dipping sauce that has soy oil in it! I see the dietician on the 3rd and will be curious to see if she says the same thing.
Jbokland - That is so cool! I hope it works out and you get to be there. I just checked out your Sassy Head website - what a great idea - love it!
My vent is that right now I'm mad I can't get rid of this stupid virus I started with
over a week ago. I have a lingering cough that keeps waking me up at
night even with cough medicine and various sinus/allergy meds. Tonight I'm
adding a humidifier to see if that will get rid of it. But, I'm super happy it is Friday and I have two days at home! I'll probably work a little from home since I'm going to have a day off next week for two appointments, but at least I'll be in the comfort of home instead of at the office! -
Jbokland: HOW exciting!! Keep us posted!!
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Pretty cool news today. First I have been fighting for disability for over a year for depression, ADHD and anxiety. I went to court 2 months ago and I finally got my judgment saying I get it with nearly 2 years of back pay.
Then the local school called and said that next week is their annual pink out for breast cancer awareness. They give a portion of the proceeds from selling t shirts and a ball game to help one person with BC. Its usually someone they don't know but this year they are giving it to me. Its times like this that its nice to live in a small town (500 in the school pre-12th) People all know each other and pull together w there is a crisis.
And its a week after chemo so i feel great.
Anyway its been a great day.
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Great news, justamy!!! -
Hello all. I am new to the forum, so please be patient as I learn my way around!
I need help, advice, information.... the whole caboodle! I am looking for information about re-routing the lymphatic fluids after mastectomy. My double mastectomy was in April 2014, with complete Axillary Lymphectomy. I do not have lymphedema in my arm, I have a different issue, that I cannot find ANY information on. My lymphatic fluids are dumping into the chest cavity where my breasts USED to be. It builds up and is quite painful. I have had six surgeries since April for them to "expel" the fluids. They are finally sending me to a Lymphedema therapist next week. But from what I've read this technique is only effective 50% of the time.
I cannot heal as long as the fluids continue to dump. There has to be some information somewhere out there. I am lost and confused and desperately seeking information.
Thank you in advance for your attention to this or any information you might be able to share.
ilytib
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omg, ilytib. thats awful! are they sure that it is lymphedema? it could be a seroma, in which case, i have never heard of a surgery being able to fix either one. i know that there is a thread somewhere on here where some of the women did do a node transfer from another part of their body, but i am not sure quite where to find it. if you use the search function to the left and type in lymph node transfer, something will show up. look for binney's name or kira, they may be able to direct you very well, and there are other ladies too, i just cant remember the names right now. after your surgery, did you wear that kind of elastic and velcro sort of tube top? to keep fluids from collecting? is there a therapist there that is trained in lymphatics that you could see about? i am wondering what kind of surgery they did, to fix it...that didn't work. i am so sorry, that does sound painful, and it can be dangerous also to have those protein-rich fluids collecting anywhere on your body. wishing you the best, and hope you find the help yu need.
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ily. If it is LE, you need to be evaluated by PT who specializes inLE. There are specific self massages you can go to help move the fluid. I do them and they are very effective when done correctly.
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ily - there are several very good LE threads on bco.org. You can search the topic. In addition here is a link to the LE site that most of the ladies here recommend. Good luck.
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ilytib: please head over to the lymphedema forum and ask your questions there. A lot of very knowledgable women post over there and I hope someone will have some ideas for you. -
Thank you all for the replies. I apologize for posting in the wrong place, I haven't learned to navigate in here yet! I appreciate the input, I have felt very helpless and alone with all this going on. No one I've talked with has ever heard of such an instance, and I couldn't find anything on the web. I have to admit, I'm scared. I will try to navigate to where I should be, so very sorry for the mis-posting.
ilytib
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ilytib, No apologies necessary! These ladies are so kind and helpful. It sounds like you have a unique and terrible problem. I hope you get some help on the lymphedema thread (I saw you found it) and a solution from your doctors.
JustAmy, I am so happy for you after all you have been through!
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