How has this changed your perspective/your behavior/attitudes?

It was great reading your words!  I have lost a lot of friendships in the last 9 months and I just couldn't care less.  I didn't realize it was happening really, but for the 1st time I was taking care of me.  When I was diagnosised several of my friends responded "what am I going to do if something happens to you?" that just astounded me.  I find now when people have an issue with me or my inability to be there for them or in the way they need me to be or need me to feel - I just don't have an interest in soothing their wounds or listening to their reasoning - cause it is pretty illogical to me.  I have actually had to say to some very close "friends" - "I'm sorry that my cancer is so inconvenient for you".  I just started disconnecting from people - its not that I don't care, but I am learning that there are people that care about others and those that care about how others make them feel. Its been an interesting lesson to learn and an interesting time to reflect on some long term relationships that I didn't realize gave my spirit nothing. There have been people I didn't think could be counted on for much of anything that have been super heros in my world and some that are missing out on a pretty incredible journey because they are mad they don't get to have it their way. 

I have changed a lot. My first diagnosis was an eye opener on what kind of people I wanted in my life. I didn't really find that I was running out of time I just focused on having meaningful relationships. Now that I've been staged at terminal I am doing more of the living the way I want to and caring less about being so wound up over everything. I wanna raise my children, laugh a lot, love the people who love me back and just be. 

I am in a very narcissistic line of work (weddings) and lately I've been very intolerant of all the bragging and back patting some of my peers have been doing and posting on Facebook so I've unfriended (they weren't really friends in the first place) dozens of people who are just bugging the life out of me.  I keep thinking they have no idea what life is like for people who are living with cancer and worrying about the future, how long, how fulfilling, the quality of life we have left, etc. On the good side, I enjoy holidays, vacations, birthdays with family and friends with much more passion and enjoyment. So my perspective, behavior and attitudes have changed; some good and some bad.

Amy

My only advice for sporadic trips is to just DO IT. You will find a way.

I am the same way as well. Right after I was diagnosed my DH and DS were fighting and I lost it and told them that they were being very unfair and that I didnt need their crap right now because they were both trying to put me in the middle. I was always the one in my family taking care of everyone else and have had to tell everyone I am not doing it right now that I have to take care of me and that you know what its your turn to help me. After I had my partial mastectomy though the only help I got was from my DH when he wasnt working and my DD when she was off. Not one of my brothers or my sister would come and even just sit with me. In fact my family told me that I just have stage 1 breast cancer and its not that big a deal because they have come a long way and I just need to relax and not ask for handouts. (I was asking for help with housework and meals since I couldnt and still cant lift more than 5 lbs) 

Then when I found out that I didnt have clean margins and had to go back for more surgery I was told kinda the same thing, so I have decided I really dont tell my brothers and sister much because I dont feel their support. I know they care and love me. I just think they cant deal with it. Does it make it any easier for me? No, because I am always there for them and just want the same back. In fact my brother told someone infront of me that he wasnt worried about me because I just have BC and was more worried about my sister who just had surgery to remove a cyst. I was like wow ok thanks. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

Yes I have found myself looking at the people in my life and noticing I do not have time for people who are selfish or can not think past themselves. I look at many things differently. From where I want my life to go to who is really important in my life.  It is interesting to see how others feel the same way I do and have had their perspective on life change.   I know life can be short I have been blessed with almost hitting my 1 year mark and able to enjoy my life. I do not expect anyone who has not been through this to understand but no being selfish is not going to get you anywhere.

I came through this a very different person.  I see life very differently, than I did before.  A few relationships strengthened, and many I have let go or don't have time for.  As many have mentioned above, there are so many selfish people in this world and people that are just negative and never see the positive.  I have no time for the constant negative people.  I also found I became a few friends counselor and wasn't ready for that (was just finishing my own treatment).  Two had to go back for 2nd mammo's and both came to me frightened it was cancer.  Both ended up being fine, like 85% of people do.

I've found that I don't sweat the small stuff anymore; I'm able to let go of frustration a lot easier and quicker.  I've lost my mouth-filter; I say what I think rather than keeping a stiff upper lip.  I feel like I've been given a second chance to "get it right", so I try to find a "perfect moment" in every day; a gorgeous sunset, a beautiful butterfly, a smiley cat.  I've, finally, come to terms with the fact that there are things in life I just have no control over - like cancer - and worrying about it is not going to change what's in the cards for me; if I worry about it and it never happens, I've wasted my life worrying and if I worry about it and it does happen, well, then I've lived through it twice.  The last thing I want to be is a cancer victim.

People don't look at me with pity because of what I have had to go through. They look at me as an inspiration because of how I deal with this part of my life

I have found that I am less likely to keep things in and I couldn't give a hoot less. My attitude is "Don't like what I say or do, well its just too bad! Deal with it!"