Can't stop googling and freaking out

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jovigal
jovigal Member Posts: 41

I got diagnosed on Wed with IDC grade 1 (not staged yet) and DCIS low grade cribioform.  First of all I don't understand why I have 2 things from 1 biopsy but mostly I'm freaked out and scared that my MRI tomorrow is going to find more cancer.

My breast has had a nipple indent when I raise my arm for 9 years!  At least!  When I saw it I immediately went to see a dr and he said it was due to tissue mass loss from my breast getting bigger through pregnancy and then shrinking.  He said BC would be more of a gathering and pulling it.  Now this is exactly where my tumor is!  So has this been there for 9 years?  I had a mamo last year and it was fine.  Then 2 weeks ago at my gyno appointment she found the mass and set me up for a diagnostic mamo and ultrasound.  She thought it was fibroid cyst and the mamo tech thought it was too!  So I was floored when the ultrasound showed a suspicious mass and a BI-RAD score of 5.  Then the results of a 1.8cm IDC :(

My anxiety is through the roof any advice would be appreciated. I am on anti anxiety meds.

I'm very sorry we are all in this group, but it's a relief to have somewhere to go with people who understand.

Comments

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited September 2014

    Stop googling, it will only stress you out more, there is so much completely inaccurate and at times downright dangerous information out there.  Grade 1 is a very good prognostic indicator.............its common to have more than one results from the  same piece of tissue.............your MRI should help give more info......but it does not necessarily mean it will be more cancer

  • WinningSoFar
    WinningSoFar Member Posts: 951
    edited September 2014

    The best advice is to stop googling, but honestly, I googled myself to death when I was diagnosed.  So, it's easier said than done.  Like me, perhaps your anxiety level is so high that you have to do something with it.  At least, if you google, stay with major respected sites.  And assume that probabilities and treatments are probably out of date.

    Don't know if this will help you, but I've been told that breast cancer can reside in the breast for ten years before it is palpable.  That's not exactly the same as your mammo missing it, but honestly, mammos are far from perfect.  I'm glad you're getting an MRI which is much better.  

    The good part of appreciating the length of time it takes bc to be palpable is that hopefully you're less anxious about doing something 'right now' or else!  

    If you are up for taking an antianxiety drug like Ativan or Xanax, now might be the time to take one.  You will become fully informed over time and it will all make sense.  Don't forget to breathe. 

  • ml143333
    ml143333 Member Posts: 658
    edited September 2014

    Dr. Google is not.your friend and will only scare and stress you more. If you want more online Information,  try here or acs.org. 

    Stage 1is still early in the game. Try and take a deep breath, focus on something else for a minute. I know, easier said than done, but we have all been there.

    I was diagnosed on 7/11/14 as IDC stage 1. I had a BMX and SNB with immediate implants on 8/27/14. My nodes were negative and margins were clean. Tumor came back grade 3. Oncotype score 23. I see the MO on 10/2. We will decide on insurance chemo then. I tell you all of this to show you that 2 months ago I was where you sit now and now all cancer is gone, just waiting to see about chemo and Tamoxifen.

    Hangin there.

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited September 2014

    jovigal - So sorry for the terrible news. It is very common to have DCIS and IDC in the same area. DCIS is precancer so your treatment will be based on the IDC. Nine years seems like a long time. I know I had a lot of woulda shoulda couldas at first. - in fact I still do.  What's important now is that they found it, it is early, and you are getting excellent care. I let my husband do all the research while I fell apart. It was very good to have another pair of ears with me at those early appointments. Also I joined the surgery group here at BCO for the month I was having surgery and that helped a lot. 

    One thing's for sure. It is going to be really scary for awhile. I needed the anxiety meds plus an antidepressant when I was first diagnosed. I know in the wee hours we all jump to the worst case, but it does no good. Take things a step at a time. There are some great resources here, so please come back often Gentle hug. 

  • SummerSun
    SummerSun Member Posts: 91
    edited September 2014

    Hi Jovigal. I am about a month ahead of you and know exactly how you feel! It is scary and mind numbing at the same time. I cried at the drop of a hat - everytime I thought about having cancer. The first few weeks are very confusing. I found a great deal of information here and once you have a plan to deal with the situation you will feel much better. Once you have your MRI and see your BS, ask lots of questions. There may be many decisions you have to make depending on your situation. The ladies here are amazing and I have found much comfort here. I hope all goes well with your MRI. ((((((Hugs))))))

  • MarieBernice6234
    MarieBernice6234 Member Posts: 202
    edited September 2014

     Hi - Jovigal

      I am not sure if this was just recently added to this thread or if it was actually written back a few years ago,  I am new here as well as I was just diagnosed the Friday of Labor Day weekend. My diagnosis is invasive breast cancer . I am scheduled for a lumpectomy in just over 7 days from now. I know what you mean about the googling, actually my nurse navigator preferred that I only stay with a couple of websites - this one being one of the ones she mentioned.  They will be taking out some lymph nodes to check and see if they are involved at all. Most likely I will only need radiation and then some hormonal treatment. The size of my mass is really small less than half a centimeter - caught by yearly mammography. It wasn't there last year either. Mine is Stage 1. Even though there is a high success rate - when you hear the word Cancer - it is always a knee jerk response.  Let the treatment team tell you when there is something to become worried about. Hang out  here - lots of people to help you come to grips with things. 

  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited September 2014

    Hey ladies;

      I can relate to the awful anxiety... terror really. When I was diagnosed, I was a wreck...

    But its been 10 1/2 years now and I am fine with no recurrance.  I had stage 3 cancer at dx too....

    I googled too and researched and scared myself to death!   I wish I hadn't.  I gave myself grief and for nothing.

    Hang in there.. this site is wonderful for support and encouragement. Real stories.. not stats in a book or journal article.

    HUGs.

    Wendy

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited September 2014

    Hi Jovigal, 

    We're so sorry you have found yourself here but we want to send you a big warm welcome to the BCO community.

    As you can see, it is made up of an amazing supportive group of women and men.

    You might like to look through this page on Breast cancer 101.

    It includes information on: understanding your diagnosis, treatment options, complementary and holistic medicine, talking to family and friends, your job and much more. 

    We hope this helps,

    Sending our warmest wishes of recovery to you

    Hugs from the mods. 

  • jeanelle
    jeanelle Member Posts: 179
    edited September 2014

    Jovigal,

    I was exactly where you were a month ago.  The word "cancer" scared me to the bone.  I went to googling everything and got some great advice from here....Stop doing it!  It just ends up scaring you more than you are to begin with.  The Breast Center where I had my mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy gave me a book that explained a lot of things.  That helped but at one point, I had to even stop reading that.  Everyone is different and the best thing to do is wait to talk to the doctor and get a plan in place.  

    I had a lumpectomy on 9/2.  It went really well and I'm healing great (other than some arm stiffness/pain that is going to require some PT).  Things will probably happen very quickly.  Just make sure you take someone with you to appointments and ask lots of questions.  

    Hang in there!  

  • jovigal
    jovigal Member Posts: 41
    edited September 2014

    Thanks everyone for your replies. I know I need to stop googling and googling. I just wish I had a a plan to focus on or at least a stage!  I'm sitting here waiting for MRI.  I just got my Ki67 results which were 30% now I'm obsessed with that. Seems like I have just enough knowledge to be scared out of my wits. 

    But now it's time for MRI.  Which will probably mean more tests. 

    Thanks again for the reassurances. 

  • Akitagirl
    Akitagirl Member Posts: 142
    edited September 2014


    Hey ML143333 - I love your term "Dr. Google"!!!  As a nurse practitioner, I constantly had patients come into the office with all the recommendations that Dr. Google had to offer.  I often teased them by asking, "so, what did Dr. Google say today?".  I even wrote one patient a prescription banning her from the internet until after she got through with her pregnancy. 

    I agree - if you choose to Google, please confirm the information with a healthcare provider! 

  • Mommato3
    Mommato3 Member Posts: 633
    edited September 2014

    I scared myself too when I was first diagnosed.  Everything I read was doom and gloom.  Then I found this fabulous site.  The ladies on here told me to always make sure the articles were current (last couple years) and were on a reputable site.  Even my MO told me to make sure I always ask him any questions about the info I was reading so we could discuss it.  

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