I'm Worried about METS but keep canceling DR appts. due to fear

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Tg5471530
Tg5471530 Member Posts: 111
edited September 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

My life has finally started to go in an upward direction since my diagnosis of stage 3b cancer.  I went back to school, got a divorce, and got a great job that I love.  I still deal with lots of pain from treatment and neuropathy from chemo, which is why I decided not to take famara.  It just made the pain too intense.  I see a pain specialist monthly, and had injections twice for SI pain.  After reading up on sciatic pain and bone mets, I decided to track my pain and see if I can locate exactly where coming from.  I can now say that the pain was at first a dull pain in the lower buttocks area, and now I also have a sharp pain when I press on L1 or T12.  When I dont press on it, I still feel a dull pressure in that are and always pain when laying down . But for the most part I put my cancer to the side and went on with life.  I have had a few appointments  with my oncologists that I canceled a few times cause I didnt want to get any bad news.  Lately too many people in my life I've been either diagnosed with new cancer, or found out that they have a METS. Now I have been worried about my pains.  Is it really SI OR SOMETHING ELSE.  Combined with fatigue,  low immunity,  chest wheezing i made another onco appt, and scheduled a bone scan, but cancled them again.I have my back injections set up for this Friday.  I will go for this cause I am praying it helps some of the pain subside. Hopefully it will help me sleep lying down again.   I just have to convince myself to schedule my oncology appt. and bone scan, and actually go.  I wish my insurance would covere a PET-CT scan.  I think it would settle my brain.I know we all get scan anxiety.   But do you ladies fear the outcome so much that they won't go to the appts?

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited September 2014

    john eleven

    I totally understand where you are comming from in regards to fearing the scans. I have felt exactly the same thing. It seems like every time that you try to move on with your life a new issue pops up and the cycle starts over again. 

    I guess the only logical way to look at it is that no matter how much you avoid checking into things, it will not change the final outcome. The peace of mind of knowing what is actually going on in your body is priceless. 

    I just went through scans for some joint issues and nothing was found.  I also have ct scans for a lung nodule that is unchanged. Once I went through all of that , I thought I could relax for a while but now. I am having bowel issues so I am going through tests for that now too. 

    It never seems to end but it is so important to be dilligent with your concerns at least for your own piece of mind. 

    Good luck. 

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  • Lou10
    Lou10 Member Posts: 332
    edited September 2014

    I haven't cancelled appointments but I can totally relate to the fear, having had numerous scans to rule out mets and getting incredibly anxious each time. But when you're already fearing the worst, the longer you avoid getting checked out, the longer you're going to be anxious. That might have the effect of turning your upswing into a downswing! Also, ongoing anxiety may adversely affect your pain symptoms. And who knows, maybe the scan will find something (other than mets) that would help explain your symptoms and better guide your treatment. Good luck.

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited September 2014

    I get anxious from time to time about lumps on my mastectomy side. I had a biopsy in March, which came back as benign, but I have some new lumps developed since. My onc was a bit excited about them in July and sent me for another ultrasound, but apparently nothing showed. 

    For a while I was debating asking for a PET or MRI, as I have doubts about the imaging I've had, but then part of me says that if it is a recurrence it will eventually become obvious anyway, and since it will be incurable it doesn't really matter if its found earlier or later ....... and then I get depressed rather than anxious!

    I am also booked for a CT in January and I have a lung nodule (indeterminate) as well, that they are "watching".

    Then my recon Sx and PMx are likely coming up in January also, but when I get depressed about recurrence, it all seems rather pointless to put myself through all that.

    I spent quite a lot of the summer feeling like this, like I was getting sucked down a whirlpool, .... but then some days/weeks it doesn't get me down nearly as much, for no particular reason! 

    I sometimes think I am just getting used to the idea that what will be will be,  and sometimes I just manage to "enjoy the now!" I just get fed up with being fearful all the time, so I know where you are coming from, although I haven't actually missed any appointments .....

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