Just my opinion but ....

Hi Sunny, I am sorry to hear your reconstruction did not turn out as expected. My reconstruction turned out pretty good despite subsequent radiation and I would do it all over again. I do not regret the decision I made.

Sorry to hear you are unhappy. I am very happy with my reconstruction, both cosmetically and physically - I do not have any pain issues, I find mine very comfortable and they feel like part of me - but it is not for everyone. I also was fortunate to have a rather smooth and very do-able reconstruction process. And after my own research I really was expecting and prepared for the worst given my more cynical nature!

There are members around these forums who have deconstructed either by choice or by circumstances, so you may be able to find some of their experiences.

Hi Sunny - My little voice said don't reconstruct and I did. Cosmetically they are great but physically - the pec action- is not so great. What specifically do you dislike? 

Do you think you might learn to live with it? I promise the pain does get better. Now I only notice the implants after a lot of  upper body exercise or if I think about it. No pain now at all. In the beginning it was excruciating and I have a very high tolerance for pain.

In life I often give myself a deadline - ex: if I am still unhappy by Jan 1 I'm going to do something about it.

I also wonder if I have "the grass is greener" syndrome.

Is it BettyBoops you are referring to? If you haven't read her posts you should. Likewise there are ladies who chose no recon and then changed their mind and did it later. One thing's for sure. There is no perfect solution and we are all changed.

Watch out for the end of active treatment blues. An oopherectomy on top of everything else is brutal. Oh my dear.

Nothing is set in stone. For good or for bad we'll probably be able to make a change down the road.  At this point I may deconstruct if something comes up. However I have this weird loyalty to the tissue that is now my breasts and I am grateful for the event free healing.

I'm more than two years out from my reconstruction surgeries. I was very unhappy at first. Most of all, I missed my old ones. I decided to withhold any judgement for six months or so, just not even think about whether I was happy or not I'd chosen the reconstruction (it was so much harder than anyone made it sound).  I remember around six or nine months out from getting the permanent implants, I caught a look at my self in the mirror and thought "those look pretty good"! today, I'm quite happy with the results and my decisions about reconstruction but it took awhile, plus, I still miss my old ones. 

I started PT when the drains were pulled.  I had the iron bra feeling, cording in my arm on the side they took the nodes, and pain when I tried full range of motion.  I had lifting restrictions during the PT, but it didn't matter because I wasn't working on strength problems anyway.  They did myofascial release which worked wonders, and they also worked on my cords.  I went 3 times a week for two or three weeks and I was fine.  I continued to stretch and do things at home for a couple months so the tightness wouldn't come back.    After those first couple sessions of PT the iron bra was gone and I was comfortable with my expanders.    I got the PT tip from someone on this board who said it was the best thing they ever did and I completely agree.    I had to ask for it also.   

sunny - it does sound like something funky on the left. When I had my one and only fill and found out it would be 4 more months to the exchange I found a PT (who is also a BC survivor). I told myself if I was going to live with the f-ing expanders for four more months I damn well was going to get some PT. She helped me tremendously both physically and emotionally. I had this weird numbness in my arms and she did something called a nerve cleanse and it was like magic. I also had a lot of trouble with my neck and back from the stretching pecs. My PS is not only an artist she is a wise lady. She said the pain was something I'd have to endure until the exchange. Somehow her laying all the cards on the table like that really helped and endure it I did. 

hi Sunnyc hope things are getting better for you.  If the left still concerns you I wonder if you could get a second opinion.  I am somewhat distrustful of doctors after some of the experiences I had....you know your body and what you are feeling & they should take your concerns seriously (you would think they could do some tests, maybe ultrasound).  I really wish you the best.