Plastic surgeon scolded me for having pain ????

ganzgirl2010
ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
edited September 2014 in Pain

Omg I really don't even know where to begin ! I just got home from my first post op appointment with my PS, and Im still walking around crying with my jaw on the ground. So, the Med assistant tells me to put the johnnie on, open in front, ok..no problem. I patiently sit in his office waiting to be seen. He finally comes in, sits down on his stool which is next to me. He BARELY slides down one side of the johnnie to look at my left breast(well whats left of it). Closes it and says " your healing just fine" Didnt even look at the other side ! Problem number 2...He then said to me in a scolding manor "why is this glue still on here, why didn't you peel it off"..I reply back with " Im sorry, no one told me to peel it off, I didnt know I was supposed to do that" He looked at me like I was an idiot. Then he goes on to tell me that I am 4 weeks post op..YOU SHOULDNT HAVE ANY PAIN AT ALL ! ( as he hands me a presciption for oxycodone that I did not ask for) I burst into tears. As the tears are rolling down my cheeks he is standing over me looking at me with a look of annoyance, told me I have no reason to cry ! So, I sucked it up and pulled myself together enough to ask him how the fills are done..like where do you put the needle in. He looked down at the floor as he let out a sarcastic grunt (as if I was bothering him with a dumb question)..I looked up at him and said " IM sorry ! No one explained this to me either" He pretty much ended the appointment at that point. So, not only did I NOT get my first fill (he wouldn't do it because as he literally POKED my breast I jumped off the table in pain)..I didn't get any of my questions answered..and I walked out of there crying with my tail between my legs. I have anxiety as it is..and I was definetly anxious just GOING to the appointment today because I am still having a lot of pain..I have good days and bad days...yesterday was HORRIBLE..I was on the couch all day..did not get up at all except to go to the bathroom..it was that bad. After this appointment today..my anxiety is out of control even as I sit here typing away 100 miles an hour . I don't know how I drove myself home without getting in an accident..

Ladies...WHAT THE HECK DO I DO ??? I want another surgeon..a female definetly. But Im afraid that if I cant find another ps and my current ps finds out I am looking for a new one, that he will treat me even worse. Oh..and I forgot to mention this part....he tells me I don't need to schedule a follow up on my way out..juwst to call him whenever I feel ready for a fill, even if its 3 months down the road ! Really ???? I have NEVER EVER in my life been made to feel so badly by a dr as this dr made me feel today !  I am just in complete shock right now....

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Comments

  • inks
    inks Member Posts: 746
    edited September 2014

    So sorry your PS has such poor bedside manner. My breast surgeons nurse cleaned up all the sticky glue residue when I asked what should I use. I was afraid to go after the sticky stuff too aggressively and messing something up. She had some special solution she used and afterwards she used alcohol wipes so that the removal solution would not travel into the incision area. But your PS is right you should not be in pain. The fill would have been too much for you to handle if you were in pain to begin with. What does your BS say about the pain? Is he or she more responsive to your problem? You need to get to the bottom of your pain problem. Your BS can send you to physical therapy and maybe they can tell you if your pain is just normal post surgery issue or if you have something else going on. Going through cancer and disfiguring surgeries we as so fragile and it's very sad if we do not have compassionate doctors. I hope you feel better soon.

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  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 2,221
    edited September 2014

    Please look into finding another PS.  I changed PS after my BMX and before my exchange.  My first one was an idiot and had no understanding of how to treat patients or another human for that matter with respect.  You deserve better.  While changing doctors is never easy, especially with something like this, it might be the best thing  - you deserve to be treated with respect - don't settle for any less!  Hugs!

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2014

    Thank you Bayou..i guess I just needed to hear that from someone going thru this. My BS is awesome I love her ! She is very responsive to my needs, my pain..when I need to just talk..but because she only did my mastectomy she said that I need to go to ps with pain issues. BUT she DID refer me to a pain clinic which is great !

    Inks...everyone is different..some have pain 4 weeks out some don't ! I don't need to be made to feel bad because Im still having pain by anyone else, thank you. I dont mean to be so defensive but Ive been going thru hell with this. The only thing the ps said today about my pain was that maybe I have PMPS..post mastectomy pain syndrome..but that sounds kind of open ended to me. And yes, of course I want to get to the bottom of my pain..today was my first post op visit..so that's where I started

     

    Seriously...do these doc's and other people think I WANT to be in pain, or that I enjoy it ??? Hell no ! I didn't sign up for this...waking up in the middle of the night with excrutiating pain running thru the middle of my chest, I cant even get my left arm over my head without pain, altho that pain I can tolerate, its the pain that makes me go into a fetal position that I cant handle. Maybe there is something wrong with  the expanders ??? I don't know, but I do know I AM IN PAIN more days than not

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  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited September 2014

    I had pmps after my BM and was helped by cymbalta and neurontin. The air even hurt my breast....so it could very well be that. Others are not helped by those drugs. But I certainly would not stay with aPS that acted like that. What a jerk. You do not deserve to be treated with anything except respect and caring. My expanders felt like Tupperware the whole time but were pretty tolerable after the first couple of weeks. But I always had medicine available if needed.   And I was supposed to call my plastic surgeon day or night for any problem. That is the type of Dr. You deserve.

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  • inks
    inks Member Posts: 746
    edited September 2014

    Ganz - I am so sorry if I came across as trying to make you feel bad, it was never my intention. Please accept my apology if I hurt you in any way.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited September 2014

    Whether you should be in pain or not is immaterial if you are in pain! No one deserves to be treated this way by their doctor, no one! You really need to find another doctor. If you continue to see this one and he continues to treat you poorly, you are telling (without words) that it's ok to behave badly. It most certainly is not.

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited September 2014

    ganzgirl!  {{{hugs}}}

    No one deserves to be treated like this -- you do not deserve to be treated like this.  If my dog bobo were treated like this I would rip the vet to pieces.  No animal or person should be treated badly by a doctor.  He is cruel.

    Totally agree with our exbronxgirl (Bronx!  Holla!) -- being in pain is not a character defect!  If you are in pain, there is a reason!

    You deserve thoughtful and compassionate care.  Sending you hugs.

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  • ml143333
    ml143333 Member Posts: 658
    edited September 2014

    Ganz - Oh my goodness!  First - I am so sorry that you are in pain and you deserve to get to the root of the issue.  Second - your PS is a complete and utter jerk!  It doesn't hurt to start looking for another PS.  Maybe you could talk with your BS and see if she has other PS that she refers to.

    My PS is great but quick.

    His nurse told me to use baby oil to get the sticky stuff off and it works.  I got a bottle from the Dollar Store and it worked great any my skin felt so soft and smelled wonderful.

    I am so sorry you are having to endure pain and a pain in the next doctor.  Please do make an appointment with the Pain Clinic and find another PS.

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2014

    Ink...Im sorry if it sounded like I snapped at you I didn't mean to..I was really upset last night over that ahole ps of mine :(   Im still sitting here in shock.

    I don't even know where to start to find another ps. ML443..my bs works with my ps..so Im kind of afraid to ask her even tho she is awesome ! Im just afraid that if my ps finds out that Im looking and then I cant find another ps, that he will be even worse to do with.

    Thank you everyone for your encouragement and understanding. I came home last night and told my fiancée what happened and really didnt say much..like he didn't care ?? Which also upset me. Maybe Im just being super sensitive right now. I just feel like..they cut me chest off and sent me on my way, left me hanging kind of.

    I have a question for everyone.... After your surgeries (whether mx bmx or lx) how often do you see your onc, bs and ps ? Im wondering because Im not scheduled to see me onc or bs until February ! I just thought that was kind of far away. And as far as the ps...well, as I said above, he told me to just call when I was ready for a fill, even if its 3 months down the road ! That left me feeling so uneasy, aside from everything else he said/did during my appointment yesterday.

    I feel so lost right now

     

     

     


     

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  • Jennie93
    Jennie93 Member Posts: 1,018
    edited September 2014

    I had no recon, so no PS, but I saw my BS only twice after surgery - at one week to get the drain out, and at 2 weeks out to check that everything was healing up fine. (I had glue, no stitches to remove.)   He said it looked good and sent me on my way, never to be seen again.  

    Saw RO 3-4x during the post-rads months, maybe 6-8 months, then they quit scheduling any followups.  

    So now I just see my MO about every 4 months. They don't do any bloodwork or tests of any kind.  Just take a quick look at me, make sure I'm taking the evil tamoxifen, and that's it.  

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  • tangandchris
    tangandchris Member Posts: 1,855
    edited September 2014


    Ganzgirl-

    I had a crappy and similar experience with my first PS. He was/is a jackass and made me feel like it was my fault that my breast/TE got infected. I went to him several times with issues and he insisted it was okay, until it was obviously NOT okay.

    Anyway, I went to my BS and she recommended a new PS...even though she worked with my original. My BS understood why I wanted to change and everything was okay. This stuff happens, people change doctors and we have a right to do that. It is NOT okay to be treated like this by a doctor. They are supposed to be working to help us and be on our team. If you have a good relationship with your BS contact her office and tell them about your issues...they can help too. They may have a recommendation for you.

    In my case they were glad to know of the problems I had with my first PS and from what I've heard my BS no longer works with him. I'm sure a caring BS does not want to work with PS' that treats patients like crap, you know what I mean?

    ((hugs)) it's gonna be okay!

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited September 2014

    Ganz girl, you might also talk with the nurse navigator in the clinic for a referral. Nonetheless, I wouldn't hesitate to have a talk with your BS. You can specify that the conversation is sensitive and confidential. Good luck.

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited September 2014

    Some surgeons gel with us and some don´t, some know how to listen and some don´t, some are human and some are not, and so on, but the over riding rule for me is YOU need a surgeon you can relate to and feel comfortable with, it makes all the difference......my first Oncologist was so uncouth he never even looked at me, can you believe thar! He never wanted to answer any questions and was just appalling.............I  made a formal complaint about him

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  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited September 2014

    ganzgirl - OMG - that PS needs a swift kick in the, well, you know....

    What an awful experience for you... I'm so sorry. 

    One week after BMX (where, by the way, I could never get my pain under control even in the hospital), I had my post-op with my BS. When she found out I was still taking Norco and Valium, she read me the riot act! I couldn't believe she was YELLING at me - telling me that I should have been off ALL pain meds by now! I left her office in pain, and in tears. Thankfully, I never needed to see her again.

    And luckily, I had my post-op with my PS that same day. I told him what the BS had said, and he said "That's just stupid. If you're in pain, you should take pain meds. How much do you want?" I could have grabbed him and kissed him.

    I quickly discovered that the problem was I had never taken the pain meds as prescribed in the first place. I didn't want to be a weenie. Then the wise women here told me to TAKE the pills, around the clock, as prescribed. I did that, it broke the pain cycle, and within a few days the pain lessened. 

    A month later, when it was time for fills, I was o.k. to actually get them.

    We are all different when it comes to pain. I wanted to be like those women who have a BMX, come home, take a Tylenol, and run a marathon the next day. Well, I wasn't.

    If you are still having pain, please try to find out the cause. Some is normal, some is not, and most of it can be fixed through different types of interventions.

    As for finding a new PS, please PM whippetmom. She has a list of PSs that have been recommended by members for years.

    Hoping you find relief (and understanding) soon!

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2014

    Omg Im so happy it worked out for you thank you so much for sharing this with me. It just boosted me courage to get this ball rolling as I have been draggig my feet. Here's a questions for my sisters...If you live in Boston which Is where I am from, can you maybe recommend an excellent PS ? My Ps is at Brigham and womens....any recommnedations/refrals would be so much appreciated. I definetly want a female ps this time :)

     

    blessings thank you so much for the link hopefuly I can find  a new female ps !


     

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  • Solen
    Solen Member Posts: 146
    edited September 2014

    find another doctor.  He is an arrogant ass.

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  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 2,893
    edited September 2014

    you are paying good money to this surgeon who obviously isn't doing his job. Find another ps. Its a diificult line of work. Very few surgeons have a good bedside manner but his treatment to you is way over the top. 

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2014

    thank you ladies the hunt is still on.....


     

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  • kcat2013
    kcat2013 Member Posts: 391
    edited September 2014

    ganzgirl  It sounds like you are searching for a new PS, good!! That was horrible the way he treated you.  I just wanted to add a word about pain.  I was one who still had pain at 4 weeks out and took pain killers around the clock for the first 4 weeks and then only at bedtime for the next 2 weeks.  My PS said it was within the realm of normal to have that kind of pain.  I always cringe when I hear others quickly say that if you're still having pain at 4-6 weeks out there is something wrong and you shouldn't be having pain, etc... Because that may be true for some but it isn't true for everyone.  I hope you have a much better experience with a new PS!  

    Kendra

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2014

    Good morning ladies :)

      So just a quick update....I called my primary care doc, she called my bs...yesterday my phone rang and I answered and to my surprise it was my PS !!! I almost fell on the floor, I was so nervous. But, he apologized profusely ! He said he was so sorry for treating me that way, that he didn't realize how nasty he had been, said he had had a rough day and was terribly sorry ! He asked me to give him another chance..how could I not ?? What Dr ACTUALLY acknowledges being an ass ? Then he kept asking if I needed anymore oxycodone ! I told him I was fine, that I had plenty and really only needed then for when I got up in the morning and when I go to bed at night. He said "please don't hesitate to call if you need more and lets set up an appointment for next Tuesday". Im still in shock lol but so glad...I just hope Im not making a mistake...

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  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 3,257
    edited September 2014

    Ganzgirl, the fact of the matter is that this PS works for YOU, not the other way around. There is no way in hell he should have spoken to you like that. Not only was he out of line, I would take great relish in telling him that he was FIRED and that you were going with a PS who was responsive to YOUR needs. Hugs and hope you find one that is not so full of himself. That God complex does not work with me one bit. I will tell them where to stick it. Hoping you do the same! Also, hoping you get some relief from your pain. Everyone is so different on that so you are not wrong in telling him that you are still in pain if you are! HUGS!

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