My Mom has...

JimTesar
JimTesar Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

... Just been diagnosed with breast cancer, im terrified, I have no idea what to do, I can't stop crying if somthing happens to her I have no idea what im going to do. I've been looking up things and found out that she has about an 85% survival chance, it was caught eraly, in stage B2 i think, she's getting more test to make sure it hasent spread, and she's starting chemo in about a month, all my family members are telling me it's going to be fine and were going to make it through this, but I need reacurance, as I said before, i have no idea what im going to do if my mom dies, she means evreything to me, please, i need to know what to do.

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  • lizws
    lizws Member Posts: 1,892
    edited September 2006
    Sorry your mom has had to join the club that no one wants to join. Okay first, breathe. My cancer was stage 2A - not that much different than your mom's. I am fine now. Sounds like she's got good docs and she's going to fight this. The best way for you to help her is to be there for her and support her. Chemo is very doable nowdays and they have wonderful anti-nausea meds. I was never sick. You being upset is more than likely upsetting her. I know it would me. You sound like a wonderful child and she's very lucky to have you. Take this one day at a time.

    Hugs

    Liz
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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited September 2006
    Sorry that your Mom has been diagnosed. It happened to my daughter too, and I suspect that she was also scared. But here is the deal. I am still here.

    Here is what I told my daughter [who was 19]: "Your job is not to worry about me. I am paying doctors good money to do that. Instead, I want you to be the best you you can be. Do well at school. Send me emails with your stories."

    If you are older and live nearby, maybe you can share some caretaking duties during treatment? Whatever you do, remember that if you are distraught, your Mother has to worry about you, instead of focusing on herself.

    Take a deep breath, stopping using the word "die", and become part of the support system. And it will all work out.

    Best of luck,

    *susan*
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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited September 2006
    Susan's message was right on point. My daughter is now 19 and she was 12 when I was first told I had breast cancer. It is a scary thing to hear your mom has cancer. Keep in mind the medicine and treatments are really very good for breast cancer and your mom will be better before you know it.

    A few tips that would really help her though is to help her out with housework, cooking, running errands. Those are nomal daily chores as a mother you take care of, but when you are recovering from breast cancer treatment it is a godsend to have someone step in and help you out. You might think it is nothing to take the vaccuum and run it but when you are fatigued from treatment it is a big deal and your mom would greatly appreciate the help.

    I am living proof you can continue on with a life after breast cancer diagnosis, she is just going to need a little extra help. As mom's we think of ourselves as the caregiver and nuturer....we hate to ask for simple things sometimes. You will be amazed at what it will do for your mom if you help her with the little things while you let her concentrate on the cancer healing.

    LuAnn
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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited September 2006

    Just step back, and take a clinical look. The reality is that your mom is likely going to be just fine. The real concern is helping her get through the treatment. Chemo and rads are quite traxing, and getting through that is as tough as anything. You can find a lot of bad news out there, but a lot of it is dated as well, so you can't get too wrapped up in it. Just focus on developing ideas to help your mother out, like finding what chores or erranmds you and other family members could pick up, organizing friends and family to deliver a few meals per week, encouraging friends to send her cards etc. You don't have to do anythin special, just help out as much as you can and help her find other people who can help her. Find things to keep her encouraged or in good spirits. Remember, don't revel in the bad, focus on the positive, which in reality, there is a lot more of, especially these days.

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  • KatieH
    KatieH Member Posts: 4
    edited September 2006
    It's okay to be a little afraid, but as everyone said, you can calm down. It's all going to be okay probably, especially if it's an early stage... although if I were you, even with the reassurance from so many people, I'd still be scared.

    I'll admit I still am myself, but that's because it's a very real thing that you don't expect to happen. As LuAnn said, helping around the house helps a lot. I ran grocery errands and took my siblings out when they asked, even if I didn't want to (although there were a few times I did say no ). Every little thing you can do to be there, will help make it better. Believe me. But don't overwork yourself in the process. Do what you can and are able, don't do everything that needs to be done. Others will help you as well.

    Your mom will definitely be in my thoughts. But so will you, because the family has tough times to go through as well. Hope for good news. Later.

    ~Katie~
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