Starting Chemo in December 2013

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  • Crazywabbit
    Crazywabbit Member Posts: 563
    edited September 2014

    my gosh, everything I am looking at in my bathroom has Methylparaban  or some other para an in it.  Time to start reading the mice type list of ingredients from now on. 

    Lisa you are about 4 hours away from me.  Someday when life settle down and the weather is willing we should meet in Ithaca, about the halfway point.   My older son went to Ithaca College and I love the town. Especially the Moosewood restaurant.  I thought about taking Moki to Cornell for her bladder cancer treatment but decided to go to  the Vally Forge, PA  area since I have a good friend who lives there to keep me company. 

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  • DJJ
    DJJ Member Posts: 229
    edited September 2014

    It's my ex-husbands fault I got BC HappyThat's what I'm going with!

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  • chicopeach57
    chicopeach57 Member Posts: 166
    edited September 2014

    I don't and haven't felt guilty, there is nothing I knew to change to prevent this. However, I am no longer drinking from plastic bottles or using plastic for heating things up in the microwave . I try to use paraben free stuff , try and eat more fruits and vegetables and buy organic meats.

    I will not give up on an adult beverage now and then or chocolate. I keep saying I'm going to get back into the gym....

    Lisa, you look spunky with the hat backwards

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  • charusa
    charusa Member Posts: 107
    edited September 2014

    Oranje, you brought up a good question, one I think we all asked ourselves at one point or another. I wondered too although I knew I took a lot of risks with my health I was still shocked that I had breast cancer. I am overweight but was working on that for the last 3 years and lost quite a few pounds, was seeing a dr. regularly and working on getting my cholesterol in line. I drank heavily for years back in the early 90's but quit over 5 years ago, and I smoked for years on and off but was smoking a pack a day for at least the last 8 years or so. If I was told lung cancer or throat cancer I would have not been so shocked but blamed it on my smoking. I drank water also from plastic bottles that got heated and recooled, I was eating a lot of sugar until I got serious about my weight. I carried my cell phone in my bra in the exact location I got the breast tumor. I am the only one in the family with it and I will be 60 in October. I asked my oncologist and she could not say for sure...diet, environment, chemicals...so now that all the treatment is almost over I don't know what to do. I am still struggling with the smoking but have more smoke free days that turn to weeks and at one point a month before I started again...I know how bad it is and yet I do it anyways. Sugar....I look at what I eat and think does this contain the thing that will give me cancer again? Every day something else comes into the news that it is cancer forming, even meds that have possible side effects that may cause cancer. I didn't know if I realized so many woman/children/men were being diagnosed with having cancer until I got it and started reading and seeing for myself. Why now....has it always been this way and I am just becoming aware?....what is in our environment, our foods, and other things that we drink, eat or otherwise consume or breath in? I was making myself crazy. How did I manage to live 59 years without it and then all of a sudden poof there it was .... breast and nodes... I hate not knowing the answer, I hate thinking that I can make 99 changes to my life to improve my health habits and it will be 1 thing I forget to change or overlook and bingo it is back...so what do we do? All I can do is make the obvious changes that are going to make a big difference to my health like the cigarettes and my weight, not carry my cell phone in my bra when I go for a walk, try and eat healthier and just live the life I was given and try and accept the fact I will never know what caused my cancer but I fought it, and I won.

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  • oranje_mama
    oranje_mama Member Posts: 260
    edited September 2014

    Can we all blame our BC on DJJ's ex?!!  LOL.

    I breastfed my kids, but not for the full year.  Could that have been it?  I didn't have my first child until age 33.  Was that it?  See what we do to ourselves?!!!  I have pretty much always worked in high-stress, long hours environments.  Including for my first 8 years out of school as a lawyer in big law firms, regularly pulling all-nighters and dealing with crazy workaholic (and many very unpleasant) people.  I still work in a pretty high stress/high powered environment (where I am very happy).  I've had to deal with a lot of judgmental crap (from MIL, sister in law, former close friends) over the years about how I should feel so guilty about my poor children, etc, etc.  Now, I'm getting the same from certain people about BC.  A ha!  It's my job that caused it.  (Never mind that I work with plenty of other women who do not have BC . . . as if stay-at-home moms never get BC . . . as if being a stay-at-home mom is not stressful!!!  HA.)

    My parents recently did 23&Me.  It's a totally voluntary thing, you send away your DNA and get a mapping of your genes.  It's pretty interesting, tells you who are related to & where they are (if they have given permission).  So you can see your ethnic origins.  I am not Jewish, no known Jewish family members.  My mom's side has both Swedish and Scottish (red hair/Viking!) ancestors.  Turns out that we are related to a sub-group of Scandinavians/Scottish who carry certain genes in common with Ashkenazi Jews.  I tested BRAC1/2 negative, but when I saw that, made me wonder if a genetic link to BC is somewhere there?  I think it's something like 10% with BC have the BRAC genes, but there's another 20% with a family history who are BNAC negative. 

    On a side note, 23&Me also uncovered an additional cousin that I didn't know that I had!  Beware the family skeletons :O!

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    barb, I would definitely get together. Ithaca is lovely. Have been to IC for swim meets the past few years but have never been to mousewood restaurant. 

    And ny or northeast girls, At the race this weekend I spoke to a woman that started Camp bravehearts (braveheartscamp.org). Weekend retreats for woman with BC. The last one this year is oct 10-13 in the Adirondacks but they also had one this year in sept in white haven pa, June in shelter island,Long Island and may in lake luzerne (lake George area, hey jb!). It may be too late to sign up for the one in oct ( I can't go anyway then) but maybe next years. They ask for $100 "donation" and bus transportation for 40 if needed. I really want to do one of these women's retreats, I wanted to do casting for recovery but didn't get chosen for the sept trip in pa which is my region. How will I feel about doing one of these next year, at almost 2 yrs post dx? It's all so front and center for all if us now but dwindling as noted by the amt of posts even here. How fun would that be though to meet at one of these. Look up CFR and this one and keep in mind for next year

    I feel badly about all this guilt we are feeling. Wow, I'm not alone is all I can add

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  • RHGSR
    RHGSR Member Posts: 774
    edited September 2014

    Oranje- is that 23 thing like $100? I'm wondering of it's the same thing my sister in law did. She asked for it for Christmas. Swabbed her check or something and sent it off. I'm interested in it!!

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  • jbokland
    jbokland Member Posts: 890
    edited September 2014

    Yes!  I will be in Lake George Sept. 27th for a breast cancer fund raiser!  It better NOT be cold!

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  • Crazywabbit
    Crazywabbit Member Posts: 563
    edited September 2014

    Lisa, a woman in my BC support group applied for 3 years for CFR   and went this year. She has a lot of pictures to share at our picnic last month. It sounded wonderful.. I will definitely apply for next year, I would be in the eastern PA area- the Poconos

    Maybe next year I will not have to worry about what to do with my husband. I am going to a girls/dogs weekend in New Hope PA the end of the month. This will be our 9th year of getting together.  We have women who come up form Fla, Texas, Indiana, Virgina, NY and some years even Washington. I have been thinking about it through all of the treatments and just waiting for this 4 day weekend.  My husband's caregiver who is usually here 6 hours a day M-F,  is staying with him 24 hours a day for the time I am gone. Bless her. I imagine he will be in a NH within the next 6 months. Another life stress.

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    jb, your old stomping grounds or close to it, watch out lake George. What's the fund raiser? Wishing I could come, thinking my son is going to come home that weekend from albany. He wants to do some hiking in Adirondacks. And if he doesn't come my daughter wants us to come to,Rochester. If neither pans out I'm coming to lake George to join you! It should be beautiful fall weather and almost peak foliage I'd think.

    Barb, my app is in for next year CFR as I applied this year and wasn't chosen so they keep it for next year. Seems like it's in demand. Chosen by lottery. Sorry about your husband. That's tough. But you need this weekend away. Girls and dogs sounds fun. Are these old friends?

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  • missy6758703
    missy6758703 Member Posts: 218
    edited September 2014

    Hi to all you beautiful ladies! I'm just sitting here reading and getting caught up on all that I have missed the last week.  Went to Texas and had my first experience with a true Friday Night Lights football game! Wow! High School football in Texas is something else! It was cancer awareness night and Johns nephew asked me if I would come down for his game.  He is a Senior and he called and asked me if I would come and walk on the field with him to honor me and my battle.  I was so proud that he asked me! He wore a banner that said Aunt and held my hand and we walked across the field together.  I was a pretty cool night.  

    I have struggled so much over the last year with the whys as well.  I was 13 years old when i lost my dad, at age 39 to brain cancer.  Then when i was 28 my mom was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia when she was 49.  I thought naively that God would never let something like cancer happen to me since.....I figured He would realize that I had been dealt enough in my life.  Does that make sense? Ugh, I know.  I have let go of my initial anger and have accepted the fact that I may just never know why I got the big C too.  I breast fed both my kids, I have high blood pressure but my cholesterol is great, I am overweight as well, but physically active....I enjoy the occasional adult beverage, I have never smoked.  I also have an ex-husband i'd like to blame, but I guess when it all comes down to it....we will never know.  I just want to live each day..........happy, healthy, and letting go of what i can't control.  I am surrounded by beautiful people....some of whom i've never even met (I wonder who those people could be??), and I  have so many blessings in my life.  Take today for example, I got home from Texas and there was a package in the mail.  It was from an old, but dear friend of mine all the way back to my high school days.  Inside the package was a CD of music, and a check for $500.00.  I just started to cry.  

    So in this day and age of so much bad on the news, I just was reminded how much good there is as well.  

    Lisa, like I said on FB, you're a ROCKSTAR!! Loved your pictures and the smile on your face says it all! So proud of you running for us all....you are quite the lady! 

    I love all the hair pictures.....I look like a freakin poodle.  I am trying to be patient with it and let it keep growing but oh my, its SO CURLY! haha! 

    I would LOVE to meet somewhere where we could all be together.  What an incredible experience that would be!

    Michelle

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    great to hear from you Michele. So beautiful about john's/your nephew. Beautiful gift from an old friend, how awesome! I'm joining you on the poodle look except I'm one of those gray/white poodles. But I still say it's better than bald and I'm still getting the occasional compliments from people that dont know, and lots from those that do. I guess I didn't look very memorable before or "comment worthy". Ive heard chic (definitely never been chic before), sophisticated, sassy, cute and cool. I think it's just soft poodle like.

    In my dreams I look like this. I think some of you already do. I think you are all beautiful.

    image

    Ok fine, I'm with blaming it on all the ex's. There, done!

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  • jbokland
    jbokland Member Posts: 890
    edited September 2014

    Lake George fundraiser

    image

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  • count_it_all_joy
    count_it_all_joy Member Posts: 130
    edited September 2014

    I'M SO OUT OF TOUCH!   Started home schooling in mid-August, and I don't think I've been on the board since then.  Hoping for a nice quiet afternoon to just sit and read, and I hope that what I read is lots and lots of good news and normal days for you all…

    but this is not that day!  Hubby is already reminding me we're supposed to be playing cards with the girls right now.  

    Is it rude to be mia and then pop in with a question???  I'm sure it is, but I can't get it off my mind today.  I saw my RO last week and he scheduled me for a mammogram on Oct 15, which is one year out from my last one (the bad one).   I know everyone's insurance is different, but are we generally confined to the same "only once a year" that we were before diagnosis/treatment, or would it be worth my while to try to get it sooner?  I'm realizing it has become kind of a closure thing for me, to see that next scan, and suddenly one more month seems long.  I want to tie up this last year with a big fat bow and pack it away.

    Can't wait to catch up on posts.  Maybe tonight when everyone goes to bed.   :)

    Hugs, Mary

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  • Crazywabbit
    Crazywabbit Member Posts: 563
    edited September 2014

    Mary, good to hear from you. The one year rule applies to screening mammograms, diagnostic ones done a cancer dx can be done sooner.  A lot of woman will get them every 6 months for a couple of years. My BS is alternating mammograms and MRIs very 6 months one the the other.  

    My first post treatment mammogram is also 1 year plus a couple of weeks from my bad one. It is scheduled for Nov.  It I had an MRI done in May after finishing chemo. 

    I am amazed at Moms who homeschool, a big commitment but such a fun time you can have also. 

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  • RobinLK
    RobinLK Member Posts: 840
    edited September 2014

    I think it depends on the coding. A diagnostic mammo can be at any time, while your annual screening is generally one year plus one day.

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  • kjfromca
    kjfromca Member Posts: 283
    edited September 2014

    Hi ladies - Catching up on your posts.  I would love to get together with all of you....

    I have come to the conclusion, that if you breath, you can get cancer.   I see an integrative medical doctor who set me up with vitamins and has worked with me on my diet... she also is anti plastic & parabens.   I do drink from water bottles once in a while when too busy and forget my water bottle from home .... I drank wine on my birthday and plan on drinking when going to the Talladega Nascar race with my DH in October.  There is no way that I will be able to stay sober that weekend.    I feel like I am confessing my sins here...LOL  But really, I am good 90% of the time.

    DJJ - So glad you have your lashes back.  

    Mary  - Nice hearing from you.  Diagnostic screening should be able to be done at anytime.

    I have my 4 month checkup next week.... not looking forward to it.  

    Kim

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited September 2014

    Hi ladies!

    Good to hear from you Mary~

    Had my one year BS appt yesterday. One yr Mammo a couple weeks ago was fine! YAY! RO appt at the end of this month. I will be getting a 6 month 3D mammo in March. Will be curious to see if insurance is going to pay for it. BS said she is more concerned about scar tissue area at this point. I guess that's where it usually starts if it's going to recur. Today is my one year DX anniversary. WOW! The fear hasn't totally left me, but the anxiety has. I guess that means I am learning to deal with the fear. 

    My BP is going up...someone on another thread mentioned Tam as the possible culprit. Anyone here? I guess I will ask MO in Dec. It feels like one appt after another.... Maybe that's because it IS!:)

    Since we are all scattered from East to West, maybe we should plan a get together somewhere Centrally located, like St Louis, Denver or Albuquerque, next Fall. The Hot Air Balloon festival in Alb in October might be fun!

    Happy Hump Day! 

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  • Jodi040812
    Jodi040812 Member Posts: 383
    edited September 2014

    I have just read last two weeks posts as well.  Teaching, coaching and my kids stuff has kept me beyond busy!  The whys??

    Holli- I also had progesterone supplements.  After I had Eloise, I did not have a cycle for awhile.  They gave me progesterone to get it started.  That was March and they did an exam at that time.  Fast forward to October- I found a lump.  They found three.  I do believe in my gut that the last pregnancy plus added stuff like the progesterone and the LO estrin FE I took for 3 weeks had something to do with it.  However, looking back, there have been major signs for a few years:(. Signs my }#%**+= obgyn ignored.  

    Lisa- great pics and congrats on the race!!  I have to miss mine in two weeks.  My cheer team was asked to do halftime at an LSU game!  I graduated from there and my whole family lives in BR so I will missing the race.  I'll definitely. Catch another one in another town soon.

    Scans- seems like some have gotten them!  I go Oct 7-8 and I do not need to tell you how nervous I am.  Please let the cancer be all gone from the internal node. Desperately wanting to hear cancer free from a doctor:). 

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  • kimie06
    kimie06 Member Posts: 215
    edited September 2014

    Hi everyone !!!! 

    my goodness life has been insane !!! 

    I took another job so aside from doing hair I am working for a friend at Exit realty just doing some office stuff, I like it its a nice change of pace.  I am crazy busy though most days I do both jobs at some point :)

    I just came back from montreal for a shot gun trip to see Pitbull and Enrique Eglasius (spelling) concert was amazing but my girlfriend and I missed our flight home !!! uggghhhh had to wait 5 more hours for the next one., I have never missed a flight in my entire life.  I am not going to lie I had to laugh about it., and I have to laugh again at the fact that I fell flat on my face on my way into the airport there was a pilot in front of me and he was like OMG are you ok I just burst out laughing..... I think I even slid a bit ... HAHAHA... its a good thing I am not easily embarassed.  I hope the video from the airport doesnt end up on youtube or something.

    I am still experiencing a super duper itchy effing armpit.....I better just go to the dr and check it out, there is nothing physical there but I could rip my skin off.  My freaking eyebrows have pulled a vanishing act still on the ends, my eyelashes did the same.  Like c'mon just want them back again.

    My hair is coming along nicely I will post a pic.  I cannot lie I am enjoying it being short and I dont know if I will ever have it long again.  I always wanted to do the short funky thing, now I am.

    Well next up is Boston to see Fleetwood Mac I can hardly wait for that one !! I sound like some big groupie but am the farthest thing from it.  

    One Love muah

    Kim

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  • kjfromca
    kjfromca Member Posts: 283
    edited September 2014

    Keepthefaith - Denver or New Mexico work for me.  Have you had a BP problem in the past?  I was diagnosed on the 12th of Sept. 

    Jodi - I was on progesterone once due to a wacky period problem.  Made me crazy.  I can't take it.    Cheering at the LSU game sounds like a lot of fun..... I will be missing our local Strides walk in Oct., as Eric and I will be in Talledega at the Nascar race.  I will be praying for clear scans for you.

    Kimmie - I hope Fleetwood Mac is great, I see them here in November.  Hopefully they will still have energy left to perform....you know they are getting up there in age...LOL   Your airport story is hilarious.   Arm pit itching probably has something to do with the rads.  Have you checked into Latisse for the lashes and brows?

    Kim

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    kimie, my lashes and brows are slowly disappearing too. But at least the hair on my head is not! That's still growing. But kimie, I could use you for a style, curly and gray, but I don't want to look like an old lady with the soft curly set hair. One of the old ladies at the nursing home complimented me on my hair, not what I want lol! Ok,Latisse makes lashes grow longer, but not thicker, right? Mine are so sparse and I just lost a few right in the middle of my upper L lid today so I'm sporting a gap when I put on mascara. 

    Jodi, good to hear from you, exciting about your team cheering at the LSU game

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  • DJJ
    DJJ Member Posts: 229
    edited September 2014

    Lisa, when my lashes came in after I lost them the second time they came in thicker too.  I'm using Latisse.

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited September 2014

    lisa, I'm with you on the poodle permed look hair do. I am still experimenting with different products, etc.  When I get up in the morning, it is looking pretty poofy! I use a spray bottle and spritz it down with water if I am not going to shower at the time. Then, I run a comb through it to flatten it a bit, while it's wet. Then, I put on a gel, lotion, cream, whatever I want to use that day and run it through my hair with my fingers, fix it with my comb again if I need to and I'm done. If I don't put something on it, it is really full and bushy. I have a lot of hair and it's super curly and can be frizzy if not tamed down. It is still easier than when it was long and it took me 30 minutes to dry it and another 30 to straighten or style it. I swore when my hair came back, I wouldn't complain!:)...so, I'm not complaining,  I'm just sayin'!

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    DJ, thicker due to the latisse I assume? I'm going to ask my dermatologist when I see her next month for my yearly skin check. She's given me retinA so I assume she deals with this too

    Keepthefaith, I akways wore my hair curly. It's just that it's gray now and short that it looks like an old lady's curly set hair. But I also am not complaining. I'm sti thrilled to have hair and the white looks kind of cool, sometimes. I'm looking for a spunky, edgy hairstyle for curly gray hair. I think I need a stiffer gel

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  • oranje_mama
    oranje_mama Member Posts: 260
    edited September 2014

    On the topic of hair, mine is growing sooooooo slowly.  It is also very thick on top & if would get longer I think could qualify as curly.  I am heading toward a sort of afro, instead of poodle curls.  It's like I got my brother's hair.  He wears his hair pretty long.  If it's short it has to be buzzcut or it's afro.  I use a product in my hair called Liscio Crystal to smooth it down on top. 

    I have very little in the way of eyebrows.  They are growing in, but lots of blonde hairs in my eyebrows, so even the hairs that are a little bit longer are hard to see.  Hair on my head is much darker than it was before, go figure. My eyelashes are still really sparse.  I'm afraid to try Latisse because supposedly it can turn blue eyes brown.

    I'm going to a wedding on Oct. 19th, and have made a hair appointment for the 17th for cut and color.  My family laughs at this.  I know it's wishful thinking.  Don't know what my hairdresser will be able to do with the microscopic amount of hair that I have!

    image

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    oh no no, oranje, your hair looks GREAT! You look pretty!  It's nice and thick and the color is amazing. You all know I've been a little hair obsessed since the beginning and I love the way yours is coming in. A perfect pixie for now and you have bangs which is great. Mine now, is just curly. You girls got nothing on me when it comes to curls! Lol! Now this is definitely poodle or the old fashioned Afro (This is also no makeup and barely any eyebrows and lashes) I just ran my fingers through it and let it puff up this morning! I usually tame it more with "cute" curls. Kimie, I know you could do something cool with it! Oranje, You might look good with the edgy spiked up look, like kimie, but that might not be your style. The wedding is a month away, you'll have more by then, definitely something to style. Hang in there, your looking great. I also worry about latisse turning my blue eyes darker as I've heard that could happen. Anybody have that happen with light eyes?

    image

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2014

    Last pic was so bad. Had to show a better one and show what "really curly" really looks like! See what I mean by little ol' lady curls? And still sporting my center stripe though but covered by curls now. Hope everyone is well. Heading to sedona in 2weeks. Hoping to meet up with robin and count_it_all in pheonix on 10-4. Anyone also near by? How awesome! 

    image 

    image

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited September 2014

    Lisa, my curls look exactly like that when I let them! I think the only difference is my hair is a bit thicker and my brown is in the back!  I wish I could go to Arizona. I just went in February, to see my Mom in Tuscon. I hope you all have fun. Pls post some pics.

    oranje, your hair looks great!

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  • kimie06
    kimie06 Member Posts: 215
    edited September 2014

    For the love of God!!!!  What next...... Tamoxifen...... Let's discuss...... Vaginal discharge anyone..... Anyone...... Bueller..... Wtf...#breastcancerwasntenuff..... Anyhow here's me and my hair... Flat Iron is my best friend.. Honestly I don't think I will ever have long hair again this was just prior to a shotgun trip to Montreal to see pitbull and Enrique Iglesias..... Hello hotness... What a beautiful man... Hehe....Enrique not pitbull

    image

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