August 2014 Surgery

Sunflower - so sorry to hear about the seroma and the recovery not going as well as anticipated.  Take it one day at a time and try and remember that we are going through so much physically and mentally.  Let yourself breathe.

I am doing okay in my recovery but find that I still tire easily, the tightness of the muscles because of the implants runs from above my breasts to the top of the ribcage and can be pretty painful at times, and the stitches where they did the SNB is quite sore most of the time and always feels rough and itchy.  doctors say it looks fine.

I think our children understand far more than we give them credit for.  I have a 19 year old away at college, a 13 year old son and a 12 year old daughter still at home.  The 19 year old texts often.  My son helps me way more than before - does things without being asked, sits and talks with me, stuff like that.  My 12 year old daughter - well she doesn't want to leave my side or my husband's and we understand and don't make a big deal of it.  She is always making sure I am okay.  Tonight was the first night since my diagnosis in July that she has gone to a friend's house and even asked to spend the night!  YAY for her!  We had to cancel two family vacations with them this past summer and while they were disappointed, they understood.  We have begun to plan and save for our vacation next year and include them in everything.

Please take care of yourself and try not to worry about being down today.  We all have our good days and bad days as far as that goes and I think it is totally normal.  Allow yourself the down moments, but don't dwell on them if that makes sense.

Hi all! I'm new here. On August 27, I had BMX with TEs (learning the lingo!) and sentinel node biopsy. 3cm stage I in left, LCIS in right. No need for further chemo or radiation. I am not in pain and have been off the Vicodin since about 5 days after the surgery, but I am in intense discomfort all the time. The worst is waking up in the morning, going from laying down to siting up -- the TEs feel like they're clawing at me. Basically every minute of every day, I feel something. I don't know how people living with chronic pain can do it. I just can't wait for this to be over. 

Sunflower, I understand completely what you are going through..So sorry you have to go through having your senoma drained..Sending Big SOFT hugs to you!! 

ml143333 - I hear ya and I too am doing Ok in recovery..My family is being understanding too..I have a son (17 years old) and a daughter (14 years old) both in High School..They have been so helpful but sometimes the teenage selfishness comes out and I have to call them out on it..They are teenagers so they can't help themselves sometimes.:) But I have seen them grown and become more compassionate through this entire journey..They are going to be Ok..

I'm having a weepy day..I'm just so tired of the pain, limited mobility, being tired, etc..It seems, since I've finished chemo in July, that it is a never ending ride of pain of some sort..I still have achy, pain for neuropathy in my hands and feet from the chemo, so I take meds for that..then I have an antibiotic to take..along with muscle relaxant and oxycotin too..I'm so tired of meds, most of the time I struggle to remember what I have taken or not..But my dear hubby keeps it all straight for me..that Man is my rock!! 

So, I just allowed myself to weep today to get it out..I'm just so tired of it all..I know we all have our moments..

Tomorrow is a new day..

Angelfaith...you are so sweet and correct, tomorrow is another day. Allow yourself to have a bad day and just know we are here for you.

Thanks for all of the kind words ladies.  I find it so hard to explain how difficult it can be to my friends.  They just don't get it.  I explain to them that I am not even strong enough to open my dishwasher, take out the trash or cuddle with my babies, but its almost beyond comprehension.  And that's without all the emotional stuff that comes along with dx and treatments. I'm grateful that I have a safe place to vent and know that I will be understood.  You ladies are awesome. 

My day was much better today. We made it to the green chile festival for a little bit and had a good time.  My kids are still little 3, 5 and 8.  My 8 year old is really helpful and the other two try, but all I can really ask is that they behave and clean up after themselves (and not ask me for food every 30minutes!). They are doing a fairly good job.  So long as they don't fight and it is quiet enough for my husband to work.

Angel - I completely and totally understand how you're feeling!  Sometimes having a good cry is all you need.  I hope your day gets better and if not there's always tomorrow. 

Janepod - welcome! I hope you find some comfort.  Some days are certainly better than others as far as discomfort goes.

Thanks bobo!  As soon as I got my dx I called a family photographer and booked us in before my BMX!  I had my girlfriend do my makeup and wore a pretty dress I had hiding in the back of my closet.  I didn't know what was gonna happen with my treatment, but I wanted some great pics of us - just in case.  (I didn't want my kids to remember me as sick) 

YO, Tamoxifen!     Just in case you don't have it totally clear what we're expecting you to do in those tight small cages where you are locking Milaandra's FEW rogue cancer cells that were so rude  to lodge in her backbone,  your job is to starve those things, at a MINIMUM into a lethergic coma, and, if you really do your stuff (and we KNOW you can, they're just TWO TINY bone mets, for goodness sakes!) to suffocate those buggers out of existence!        We're all counting on you to do that, because Milaandra has a lot of work and VACATIONING to do, and she can't be bothered with pesky problems.     In fact, she's got a date 50 years from now in Sardinia, to take a nature shower under Imheretoo's favorite waterfall!      So, Tamoxy, JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!!

That extra TE pain in the morning when you first sit up should get much better 4-5 weeks out.  Hang in there, ladies!

I hope it does for you too.  I just remember that each week was sooo much better than the last. 

Yes, it's been quite a while since we've heard from Allydp.   I'm glad you gave her a shout, ml14333.      I know we're all thinking and concerned about her.

Update on me:  My BS just called with my Oncotype score and it came back as a 23 which is intermediate.  Hey - at least it wasn't high risk, right?  So...she said that my risk of recurrence without Tamoxifen is 30%, with Tamoxifen is 15% and with Tamoxifen and Chemo is less than 10%.  Her office is making my appointment with my MO so I will go and see him soon.

While I wish it had been a low score, I am glad that it was intermediate and that I still have options!  Stage 1 grade 3 is a good place for me to be.  I will do what I need to do to ensure that I have done everything possible to ward of future recurrence but the final decision is up to God and He will continue to see me and my family through whatever comes.  I firmly believe that I will be dancing at my grandchildren's weddings one day!

I am scared about chemo and working and taking care of my family all at the same time and effects of chemo, but I am sure that you wonderful sisters will also help me through and give me pointers.

Thank you all for being so supportive and for listening to me!

Ally, How anxiogenic and frustrating that the insurance company still hasn't given you an answer yet!    Has your Oncologist really been silent and not called you in for any check and to discuss the nature of your pain during all this???    She hasn't contributed anything to the BS request to insurance company for scans or called you in to explain to you why (if) she's convinced that the pain cannot be bone metastases pain?    Only your BS and PS that are responding to your concerns?     I stick with my earlier idea that oncologist deserves to be punched hard!!!!   But I don't want my comments to get you agitated.      I'll concentrate on mentally punching the onc.      You stay calm and pray.      I hope you're right that it all ends up being a side effect of the chemo (and that it goes away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)     (But doggone it, a stupid little scan would do wonders to take some of the questions out of the air!!!)

ml,   Gosh, i'm really sorry that the Oncotype is confirming the  need for Chemo.       I just now read back your older posts, and saw that your BS had advised doing chemo no matter what, due to the high grade.     But it's good that you did that Oncotype test, since now you know that chemo will make some difference for you.      Will this be your first meeting with the MO?    Let us know what MO says!!        And YES You WILL dance and dance and dance at your grandchildrens' weddings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lorililly, welcome to our little August surgery group!     I hope your implants move quickly into place, don't give you too much pain, and the results are decent enough to allow you to sometimes forget this experience.

ml,    I'm actually doing great!    Both in terms of surgery recovery and the relatively easy path it seems I have ahead of me for treatment.      I'm a bit embarrassed to be saying that-- or more precisely, I can't get over feeling guilty that things are turning out so so well for me, on all counts, while the journey is turning out to be more traumatic, scary, serious  and painful for most of the rest of you.   The months and months and months I spent waiting to get surgery and a true diagnosis of the seriousnes of my cancer had created a tremendous tension that, now that surgery has finally been done, tumor analyzed and pathology report received, has just vanished in a poof.      Something that I think I didn't report here is that while I was waiting and waiting for surgery, I was very upset to learn that my surgeon hadn't even taken a look at the results  of my bone scan or blood tests or any of the other exams done checking for metastases.    Nor had any other doctor, since I didn't yet have an oncologist.     I had actually peeked at those exam results, and had seen that my ALP level was elevated to 218.    I knew that this could be caused by something stupid, such as perhaps a vitamin D deficiency, or *maybe* due to a drug I was taking, but it still concerned me, especially after I peeked at my bone scan report and saw that, while there were no signs of focal uptake (which would be a true indication that bone mets could be a possibility) there was diffuse area of somewhat increased uptake in my lumbar spine.      I guessed this was probably just a sign of arthritis, or something else silly like that, but still, that finding, together with the ALP finding, and the fact that no doctor bothered to give me any explanation (since no doctor had looked at the results) contributed greatly to my state of uneasiness as I waited and waited and waited.    But I decided to have my blood ALP level re-tested on my own.  (to make sure that the levels weren't going up higher)    The results came back on the day that I actually got finally called to report in to the hospital--- and result was that on the second test ALP was completely NORMAL!     So just that right there took away a lot of tension.    Then, surgery got done and path report came back GREAT!    (GRADE 2, ER POS, PR POS, HER-2 NEG, and Ki-67 = 7%).     I at first was worrying that the docs here would object to ordering an Oncotype test, (since it is not standardly done here.)    But I've been reading and thinking a lot about that Ki-67 result I got, and I'm pretty convinced that the answer to the big question chemo or no chemo is right there, no oncotype exam needed-- and the answer is NO chemo.        With the tumor cells replicating at such a low rate, chemo wouldn't be effective anyway.      So, as long as that Ki-67 value is a valid indicator of tumor aggressiveness (and as far as I can tell from what I've read, any doubts about it's validity are related to high ki-67 values, not low ones like mine),  I'm nearly certain that my therapy is going to be hormonal (plus radiotherapy) and that this ought to be easy to deal with.    My grade, after all, is grade 2, not grade 3, like yours.      Anyway--- My first Oncologist appointment is tomorrow, and I'll see what he says.     

As for surgery healing, since I got only a quadrantectomy, only two lymph nodes removed, no drains, no complications, no second scoop needed, and no reconstruction, the healing has been very simple and rapid and I feel almost fine!   (Do you all hate me now?   I love all of you!)

On a more positive note, I tried one of my underwire bras on today and there is almost no difference in the fit! Woo-hoo! I know it seems vain, but these guys are really out there, so differences would be so obvious

Milaandra, Sweetie you can come to Sardinia any time you want!    If all you've seen of this island is Calgliari, you've got lots left to see here!     I'll be 104 in 50 years, so I may be a bit old then to stand guard at the top of the trail while you skinny dip in the pool under the falls.     But if you come then, I'll do my best and try!     

Your Christmas getaway plans sound luscious!    Good going!       You'll look so lovely all dood up fancy for the festivities, and wearing your pretty underwire bras!   (Glad it still fits on both sides and all looks good!)

As for the serious stuff, I totally know what you mean.     But the positive attitude you always manage to have even when you're feeling down  has got to be helping your body to stay strong.    Oh man-- I care about you so much!!!