Starting Chemo in December 2013
Comments
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went to much needed yoga this morning. Teacher always says to "set an intention for this class and visit it often throughout the class and repeat it over and over". Never really got what that meant but I tried today and came up with 3 words; relief, peace and acceptance. Relief that I had "good"news from last weeks scan, peace- that I should always feel some level of peach within myself and with my choices and decisions and acceptance of who I am, what I've been through and anything else that I will go through. I guess this was what she means. Just needed to share what's on my mind. Have a good weekend to all my beautiful, strong BC ladies
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Lisa - 3 very strong words to live by. Yoga is on my list of things to start when my life settles down if that ever happens.
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barb, our lives never settle down. But do it for yourself, just like taking that walk. It took me a long time to "get it" but now I do. It has helped with my rom, helped me learn to focus and breath (especially useful during those scans when told to not move) and connect mind and body but a good and inspirational teacher makes all the difference. This teacher I love plays great music (not the usual yogi music but great mellow and inspiring songs), she's also funny, says great things that just get to my heart and mind the right way and the slow but powerful movts are great. (Btw I hate a lot of downward dog and up plank as they hurt my arms and wrists and she doesn't do a lot of those). You yoga people know what I'm talking about!
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Lisa, Yay! I'm so happy it's good news. I still ache. Legs and arms both. When I sit still I'm fine, but who wants to do that. RO and a nurse practitioner I just saw both said "It took us a long time to f#ck your body up, it will take a long time to get back to normal." I took the liberty of paraphrasing :-) But everyday my aches are a little less. Yes yoga hurts! Especially with the achey arms!
Neskir, you look wonderful.
Barb, I'm so sorry about your fur baby.
Ornjemama, so sorry you have another thing to deal with. Enough already!
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LISA!!!! I am so so so HAPPY!!
I have been thinking about you nonstop! What wonderful news. That dark place has been consuming me lately. I have had a few friends get not good news about their battle. Not our battle, different kinds of cancer, but still. This is icing on the cake:). Smiling so big now!!! Yah!!!!!!
I have no advice about the worrying and all ladies. I am the example of what not to do though. This week, I finally just stopped going in the teacher workroom before school starts. We always pray together before school begins each day. I am not mentally ready or emotionally ready to hear the prayer intentions. So many revolve around cancer, and I can feel the looks my way each time. At first, I tried to give advice to the people whose had the friend. But, after some really disappointing news about a friend I met flying back and forth with the pilot programs and another parent at our school- I could not shake it. The Tam does not help I suspect. But, admitting it to myself has made it better it seems.
Ladies- reconstruction: where are you at? What are you getting? This is now being presented to me. I just want to get next month scans done and then think about it. But they said we needed a plan. The plan- scares me!
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Jodi. I was surprised to learn my TEs needed to be re inflated after the deflate for RO. We will begin that process in about 4 weeks. They have to take me up to 700cc each! Hard to believe it on my 5'2" body that's what I will need for a C cup. I am no longer looking forward to the reconstruction. I think I'm just tired of the poking and prodding.
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exactly!!
I was deflated and now I am having those ziplock bad filled again. I have to go up to 600cc. You are 2 inches taller than me lol! So maybe that's why you get a little more- just kidding! But!!! I am now at 400cc. The radiated side is so freaking tight. The left side is fine. I do not see how they can fill the right side up 200cc more:(.
Plan- TRAM on the radiated side with 4 week downtime:(. I can't imagine taking off another month of work!! Then, after a few months left side implant. Worried about my job. Anyone else having to do TRAM?
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I don't know which procedure my PS is recommending yet. Can't wait to see, as he mentioned a 'new' technique.
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Hi girls. I am going for my FINAL surgery tomorrow. (KNOCK ON WOOD!!!) I am having the tissue expander exchanged for a silicone implant. I can't wait to get this ROCK out of my chest. (After 10 months:/) Jodi, I had already done the reconstruction in 2008 when I had the double mastectomy so they just took out the implant and put in an expander in so the RADS wouldn't ruin the implant. I'm sure others will give you better info. on what they are doing. Please pray that everything goes well. This surgery I've been looking forward to, but for some reason I'm a little nervous. Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day.
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praying surgery is a success and fast healing!!!
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good luck Mikesgirl. Hoping things go smoothly. Your case sounds complicated, assuming this is your second time around. Didn't realize you had a bmx as your recent stats say lx, so you had a bmx in 2008 then a lx last year. Is this a second tn BC recurrence? Sorry I'm being nosy, it's just that your current stats are similar to mine but now I realize you've had a bmx. And of course you're nervous, any surgery is nerve racking. Good luck
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Best of luck Mikesgirl! You've got my prayers.
Jodi, sorry you are having a tough time. Sometimes bad news can be overwhelming and puts a little too much on our plates at one time. Emotions are funny things at times.
No recon for me but I finally purchased some mastectomy bras for my prosthesis. Soft, comfy, and not fugly, was pleasantly surprised!
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trying to catch up ladies!!
Barbara- so sorry for your loss. Fur babies are family. And for it to be cancer too(did I read that right)? That doesn't seem fair. How are you?
NEskir- Gorgeous picture!! Thank you for the comments on my writing.
Great news Lisa!! Good for you for staying on it.
Mikesgirl- in your pocket!! Keep us posted.
Lungs were better in Tuesday, and I was supposed to decrease to 40mg prednisone in a few days. But my two littles have ear infections and respiratory infections. So momma is coughing again. Shortness of breath worsening. Texted RO yesterday. No dropping to 40. Gotta stay at the 60mg until I see him again in about 10 days. Also taking nebulizer treatments and antibiotic now. Ugh. PS still wants my pre op visit to happen on the 19th. And surgery still set for 26th. But I don't see it happening if this lung issue isn't much improved. GRRRR...
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just a side note.... Have I mentioned I hate steroids? GRRRR.... So much for my exercise (can't breathe) and weight loss. I'm all swollen up. Look like the stay puff marshmallow man. I know, I know.... This is peanuts in the grand scheme of things. Still frustrates me...
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Holli, set backs suck. Plain and simple. Hoping this resolves in time.
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Thanks girls. To answer your question Lisa, I had DCIS in 2008. Opted for bilateral mastectomy so I wouldn't have to worry about it coming back. Did the whole reconstruction thing. 2013 felt tiny bump. Thought it was scar tissue. Biopsy revealed TNBC. It only takes 1 cell that they miss to have a recurrance. Only a 5% chance. Of course I was the unlucky 1 in the sad 5%. The first time I had no rads or chemo. Just lost my breast. That is standard d.c.i.s. protocal with clear margins.
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mikesgirl, will be in your pockets today! Wow, you have been through the mill. I am still mulling over your comment on "just lost my breast". I know in the big scheme of things, it is not the end of the world, but that is a big deal, not matter how you look at it. You are one strong woman! Hoping your surgery goes better than expected!
Holli, what a let down. I am with you on the steroids. ..UGH. I hope you heal soon and can get the rest of your treatment taken care of.
Jodi, After BC our emotions and perspective is never the same. We have to deal with things that come our way in whatever manner works best for us; sometimes we surprise ourselves.
Going to have lunch with my oldest Grandson at kindergarten today for Grandparents' Day! My DS and DIL took me out to eat last night:).
Have a great week ladies! You ROCK!!!
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Good Luck today Mikesgirl! We will all be thinking of you!!
Michelle
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mikesgirl. Best wishes for your final surgery today.
Holli - Moki is still with me and acting happy but she is not eating well, I have not heard from vet oncologist about the radiation yet. I take her with me in her stroller when I go for walks now. She still enjoys all the sights and smells. She gets out to visit with her "friends". I am still so devastated at her being diagnosed with advanced cancer with little symptoms for so long. Flash back to my stage 3 diagnosis with no symptoms.
I hope your girls do not share too much of their colds with you and that you can drop the prednisone dose soon. Chipmunk cheeks will go away after you are off the steroids. He you are able to sleep on the "roids"
Keepthefaith, your day sounds like so much fun. Enjoy it.
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Barbara- thank you for the explanation. I'm so sorry. I know at the beginning of my diagnosis (and especially now) I was so thankful it was me with this awful disease and not my children or hubby or family. I imagine it's the same watching our fur babies go through it.
The roids have me all hyped up but I'm exhausted with no energy. Such a weird oxymoron. I was taking a Benadryl to help me sleep (or at least relax) but now that the cough is back I'm taking a hydrocodone just at night. It helps with sleep and keeps the cough under control during the night.
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ok- we homeschool but we have a co-op we attend once a week. God Bless my mother in law. She came up to help me for a few days since my cough is back (zaps my energy) and my 2 littles are sick. My oldest wanted to go to the first day of "school" so bad. But I couldn't take her. So Mamaw is filling in today!!
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Hi ladies. Surgery went great. I'm on my way home :-) thank you for the prayers!
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Woo-Hoo Mikesgirl!! Congrats. Sending you prayers and peaceful restful vibes!!
Holli
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so happy to hear mikesgirl! :-)
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tried my hand at bad ass hair today, but I think I just got pompadore? I don't have any stiff gel, just soft curly gel. Kimmie, I need you! Lol
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Mikesgirl, so happy it went well.
Lisa, you look bad ass!
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Mikesgirl, great news, I hope your comfortable.
I had direct to silicone implants, "one surgery", I go in the 22nd for my 3rd revision 😑.
Lisa, looks good, I use a modeling paste, it makes it spiked but not crunchy.
Barbara, I'm sorry your pup is ill. My little guy was right by my side on the couch last year, he is like my 3rd baby. He's 10 too.
He had a broken foot in this pic last spring. . .
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mikesgirl, hope your still doing well
Neskir, omg, that dog is amazingly cute...too cute! Looks like a stuffed dog , his face is so perfect.
Still think I like my soft curly hair, it's what I'm used to but will try some stiffer gel or paste to work on this spiky bad ass look. This is the time, with the new hair. When I look at my picture above I laugh. Not bad ass at all, just soft curly puffy hair. Oh well will keep trying. Would love to see everyone's bad ass spiky hair look. I think we are due for a new collage... Michelle? Chemo girls with hair!
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I'll get on that Lisa!
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IM HERE !!!! I am so mad right now, had a huge thing all typed up the other day and thought I posted it....but nope !!!!! damn....I am going to post when I have a few more minutes..... eff sakes
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