I feel very anxious now that treatment is over.

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jen1
jen1 Member Posts: 110
edited September 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I feel very anxious now that active treatment is over. I have excellent MO,RO wonderful nurse navigators but I now feel abandoned and scared. It seems that I am no longer a priority. I know that sounds silly, but I am so nervous about a recurrence. I dont want to seem paranoid but I have questions that I want to ask my team but I feel that there are others who are sicker. I just finished radiation on July 2. And now I feel like I have to fend for myself. I know it's my perception but I feel more nervous and upset now than I did during active treatment.Has anyone else felt that way?

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  • Luvmydobies
    Luvmydobies Member Posts: 766
    edited July 2014

    Jen, I am a year out from treatment and I completely understand! It's like you lose your safety net after treatment. I still worry about everything every day. Your feelings are perfectly normal but it will get better. The new normal isn't easy! Hang in there.

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  • bluepearl
    bluepearl Member Posts: 961
    edited July 2014

    I used to worry like this after my first round with breast cancer. You know what? Worry didn't stop the second one from appearing. All worry does is rob you of feeling good TODAY.  No one is guaranteed the next hour let alone the next year. I learned that. After my two diagnosis, several friends have passed away from things NOT related to cancer, including accidents. It is normal to be scared like this, but if you keep replacing, in your mind, the idea that "what will be will be, and there is no use worrying about it", it can help. It is really hard to come to terms with our own mortality; this may be a hint to start a spiritual journey of your liking. I did. Staring new things or ending old things that wasted time and energy.....the old "bucket list" thing. We are ALL terminal. Be well. be happy, best wishes!!!!

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  • jen1
    jen1 Member Posts: 110
    edited July 2014

    Thank  you bluepearl and Luvmydobies for your response. I do have to let worry go. I just wish I could see my doctors more (LOL).


     

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  • profbee
    profbee Member Posts: 858
    edited July 2014

    Oh yes, hon.  Yes.  I soldiered through the whole treatment with a brave face and a sense of humor.  When treatment was over (two rounds of chemo, surgery, etc.) I suddenly found that I was crying a lot.  A LOT.  My mom looked at me and said, "You need help."  She was right.  I went to a therapist.  She told me to call my onc and get a little anti-depressant.  When I called my onc, she said, "Oh this is very typical."  I got on the anti-depressant and did therapy for a while.  After a few months, my therapist said I had graduated and I went off the meds and I was fine.  I just needed to handle the fear.  It's totally human.  Get help if you need it, love.  

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  • jen1
    jen1 Member Posts: 110
    edited July 2014

    Thank you so much profbee.

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  • littlechicken
    littlechicken Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2014

    Jen1, 

    I totally get it! During treatment I was strong, but after treatment was over I felt like more of a victim. It's was a helpless feeling for me  to be passive while I knew the risk of recurrence was hanging over me. Time helps- I am focusing on it much less now than I was a couple months ago. I wish you the best.

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  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited July 2014

    Jen1, i totally understand.  i just fnished my last Herceptin on july 09, i should be happy but i'm not.  every ache n pain my mind going crazy.  i will have follow up on PET scan in a month, i feel like i am on a death row waiting to be executed.  its just so hard to move on or be positve all the the time.  i only whined n complained the way i feel on this board, i put a smile n brave face in front of friends n families.  

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  • jen1
    jen1 Member Posts: 110
    edited August 2014

    thank you everyone. I am still so anxious. I am so glad I have all you ladies. My first mammogram after treatment is coming up. 

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  • BrooksideVT
    BrooksideVT Member Posts: 2,211
    edited August 2014

    Jen1, we all need TLC after treatment ends, and our treatment centers know this and consider addressing those post treatment heebie jeebies a very important part of their mission.  Your wonderful nurse navigator is still your resource and probably is expected to devote a significant portion of her time to post treatment issues, either addressing them in person, or, well, navigating, the available patient resources.   My RO had a nurse practitioner who did followup.  I saw her maybe three and six months after treatment, and could have seen her more often. She did breast exams, answered all my questions,  addressed my fears and my fatigue, helped me understand that some of my issues were from perfectly ordinary, often occuring, PTSD. 

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  • Swimmom2
    Swimmom2 Member Posts: 169
    edited August 2014

    my implants are in (July) and all this should be behind me now - how come I'm anxious all the time? I see a therapist and that helps but hoping time is the great equalizer. Sometime I feel like I compartmentalized my feelings and now that I'm "done", my feelings are coming out in in-opportune times. 

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited August 2014

    Brookside - That is amazing patient care. I didn't get any of that. None. Nada. Sure could have used it.

    Swimmom - It feels like you are all alone adrift on a shaky raft, and there is no one around to help. Time helps. I'm glad you are seeing a counselor. 

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  • jen1
    jen1 Member Posts: 110
    edited August 2014

    thank you so much brookside.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited September 2014

    I know how you feel. I felt that way after my treatment ended too.

    But after 9 years with no recurrance, I can say it does get easier with time.  

    For me, I got busy. I  tried not to dwell on cancer actually. I started to do what I wanted to do and treat myself really well. I did start a very healthy diet, got regular massages and have tried many different exercise regimes. I got busy doing things I like, such as hobbies. I stopped researching symptoms of disease all the time (because with me after dx I was always researching every ache and pain just in case it was potentially ominous ). So I tried to not drive myself crazy and get on with life. 

    This helped. Not perfectly. But did ease the anxiety a bit. I also made sure I had emotional support, like at this site.  So I could vent to others who understood. And to help others on their journey. It helps too because you are not alone.. or you feel not alone. At least I do. 

    Blessings

    Wendy

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  • jen1
    jen1 Member Posts: 110
    edited September 2014

    thank u all so much for the encouragement

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  • LibrarianB
    LibrarianB Member Posts: 41
    edited September 2014

    How did you find a therapist?  Do they specialize in oncology patients?  I'm in treatment, but dealing with some anger, isolation, and motivational problems.  I'm also working part time and having a lot of problems fitting in when I am there and standing up for myself.  

    Thanks for any advice or resources!  No one to tell me to be positve!!

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