How do you all make it through your work days?

LeeLee - this can be a challenging time as you learn to navigate the world of breast cancer, treatment, appointments, anxiety, and a "new normal" of sorts.  Some days are easier than others; some days I couldn't (or didn't want to) drag myself out of bed.  Those around me said things like, "life goes on and so must you!" And "never give up!" And "it could be worse!" And I wanted to tell them all to go to h*ll.  because when it's happening to you there are moments when even breathing takes all your energy, and getting through the day is exhausting.

Now that I'm here, on the other side, I can tell you to be kind to yourself in these first few days.  Allow yourself to grieve the diagnosis and what it means for you and your life.  But also do your best to find some normalcy in this time.  Going to work can be hard - but also gives your mind a break from all the cancer crap.  One day I looked around me and realized that life *was* continuing all around - with or without me - and so I chose to jump back in to the fray and live fully and vibrantly.

Be kind to yourself - and keep moving forward.  Hugs and peace for your heart, soul, and body.

Answer:

One day at a time, and because there was no other choice. Single Mother, and the only employee of my own business.  I took a total of 5.5 days off work. Surgery on Wed and recovered Thu/Fri.  Chemo on Wed afternoon, and it hit me very hard so I could not work Thu/Fri (then I stopped chemo for multiple reasons).

On bad days, try to concentrate on what HAS to be done and leave the rest for better days (the floor doesn't have to be swept  birthday cards can be late, dinner can be ordered in--nothing has to be perfect right now).

Luck to ya.

LeeLee ... it's tough to concentrate when we are facing the challenges ahead.  I was like whatnow as I had to work.  The good thing was I work from home so I could rest in the afternoon.  I really didn't feel the fatigue until about the 4th week of radiation treatments.  I was also able to work a few days after my lumpectomy.

Is it possible for you to work some days from home?

Wishing you all the best,

Bren

Hello Leelee52,

Work is very tough right now. This is my third week after a lumpectomy. My nipple looks pretty bad due to the surgeon trying to save it...so I may need to go under the knife again. I have moments of one step at a time to total shut downs. The hardest thing I'm dealing with is my stressed brain. I say things that doesn't make sense or the wrong word pops out. I lose my train of thought constantly. I teach third graders and they just hang in there until I right my wrongs. Right now I seem to be using work for a place to forget I have breast cancer. When I am at home I  feel overwhelmed with waiting to hear from test results to when the onoco doctors will call for first appointments. I am in the mode right now to get a sick note for the rest of the school year. I just feel I need to take care of myself so I don't get too depressed. Hang in there......times seem hard but every once in awhile the light shines through and and you see things will get better.

I worked in transfusion services in the same hospital where I had my BMX surgery, and at the time of diagnosis I was actually was relieved to be at work and not have to think about myself.  I struggled more when I was at home and had access to the internet and books and too much free time.  I found that because I could not read anything during the day, had no internet access or free time to look at anything cancer related, and had to focus only on patients, it was a good thing.  I knew there was a problem on Sept. 9, and did not have surgery until Nov. 1, so I had a lot of time between.  I had BMX on a Monday, and worked up until the previous Fri.  Are you looking at cancer related stuff on the internet during your work day? 

LeeLee52, I had a very hard time working between my diagnosis and surgery. I'm in an office setting and once word got out about my diagnosis everyone was stopping by to see how I was feeling.  I felt great physically but mentally I was a mess which I tried to keep inside while I was at work. You will feel much better once you get more information and know what your treatment options are going to be. This is a great site for information and sharing. 

leelee52 - no, it was not me who said anything about control and feeling empowered - my post back to you concerned the info about types of BC and grading.  I felt calmer once I had a full understanding of what my situation was, and what the plan was going forward, but have never felt that anything in this experience necessarily made me feel empowered.  I like the feeling I get from being proactive after active treatment about diet/exercise/lifestyle, and felt that I was making informed choices about treatment so that knowledge made me feel confident that I was doing the best I could for myself, but I realized a long time ago that I have zero control over breast cancer and much of what happens as a result of treatment.

leelee52 - no problem! I only pointed that out because I think feeling like you have control is a slippery slope, and while feeling like a good plan is in place for treatment gives one a way forward out of the chaos of those first days of diagnosis, I never felt that I wasn't empowered at any point.  I should add that the realization that I had no control was actually a good thing for me, I found that I did not need to focus on gaining control, instead I needed to concentrate on the moment I was currently living in, knowing I couldn't change the past or control the future.

Silly me, those were things I did at home, not at work! 

LOL - When I was first diagnosed, several friends recommended Dr. Love's book. I took one look at it and I knew it was way too much information for me. I sent a copy to my sister who lives in another state and had her read the parts she thought I needed to hear about. Later on, down the road, I got my own copy and found it helpful. 

I'm doing well. Just had a possible scare about uterine cancer from the Tamoxifen. Had a hysteroscopy/D&C last week and am waiting for the pathology results. Long story, had a doctor that had gotten a letter of reprimand from the medical board (who knew, it was for serious problems), got a new (and very good) doctor who only reviews the results at your post-op visits. He is also very busy and I had a work conflict that I couldn't change on the day he had available for the appointment. With Labor Day and more, my post op visit isn't until September 15. Am working on getting an earlier appointment and may just try to get the report from medical records so I don't worry too much before then. 

I think the "leave me alone" feeling sometimes works just to give us space and let us deal with it all. 

@LeeLee52  I work from home as well - in the overall picture of things it made it easier to work throughout treatment so far and many days that I had overload it gave me something else to focus on.  However, all the time isolated at home also can give your mind time to get lost in the cancer stuff.  My boss was one of my 1st calls I made, even before having a full diagnosis - literally he was my 2nd call on DX day as I had a meeting with him scheduled but needed to cancel for some ASAP Biopsies.  Turns out his mother had Stage IV and he was well versed.  You may be surprised at the support you get as even though people don't always talk about it because it is a scary thought - so many people have been touched.  

leelee52 - the isolation has def been a struggle for me (I started my empty nest journey about 3 months before DX) so this has been the 1st time in my life I have ever even lived alone...I like to do things BIG :-)  I am sending good thoughts to you that your boss/work has been as flexible and supportive as mine have - but I am still the girl that shows up to chemo with a laptop, hotspot and asks for a room with a door cause I have a meeting some days...there is no pressure from my employer but through this crazy ride work and housework have been the two things that make me feel normal and I can do....

Wow! That sounds like a stressful ride.  I don't know how long it usually takes - I know for me it probably took years.  I had been going to doctors with fibourous tissue that always bothered me and my doctor didn't take it seriously because all my scans showed nothing really.   Finally the tumor got large enough and blocked glands and there were physcal changes to the skin and nipple and I got a doctor to listen to me.  Things moved pretty fast at that point - new mammo, US, and biopsies in the same day - the center gave me a pillow and blanket so I nap during the waits and not have to sit in the waiting rooms making small talk with the other ladies. 

Sounds like going to a BS is your best way to get to the bottom of things - I agree - if it is..it is...just let me know already so I can get on to the healing.  Keep advocating and pushing and if someone isn't listening, find someone who will.