Surgery 8/19/14 for wife-- request for positive thoughts

Thanks I just found the Husbands Corner I didn’t see that before so thank you for pointing that out. Its getting really hard. I know I tend to read into things and she needs her space to work on items  Its so frustrating I cant fix it, I cant make it go away, I cant make her less scared and now the only thing I can do is be there for her shes a very independent woman and its hard for her as shes been on her own for so long before me. It feels like its a tightrope walk right now between giving her space and being there for her ...some times I just cant breath.

she's doing well sorry didn't post until now been helping her. Surgery started right on time. Frozen samples of two nodes they took were negative waiting on main pathology report in a few days. Reconstruction and massectomy took 9 hrs I got to see her at hour 12 in room . Last night we battled nausea today we battled back pain got RNs to write on board when her pain meds are due and hoping that helps sleeping now got to take off foley , iv, co2 monitor & oxygen monitor. Diep reconstruction is beautiful . She's been so brave I'm so proud of her and grateful

DW decided she wanted to go outside walked all the way outside 200-300yds one way. She sat on a park bench for 15 min as we listened to a storm roll in. She walked back really strong and straight up and down  It tired her out now sleeping listening to some piano concertos to help her relax on the hospital tv w nature scenes I think I have them memorized

all the positive thoughts are working Good news final pathology report came in last night nodes still negative tumor had good margins, was 2cm (not 2.9cm per ultrasound) and they changed her cancer stage to 1A from 2. Going to order a test now to see how aggressive the tumor type was to know likely hood of spreading .

This couldn't be come at a better time battled nausea all day yesterday (dry heaves with two day old abdomen diep flap removal looks like it hurts) seemed to be a multitude of factors 1) wife could eat more than two saltines and 1oz of broth and 1 oz of animal crackers in past 29 hrs.

2) med orders being prn so she kept refusing pain meds because she was going to vomit so we got way behind on all pn meds which spiraled her down

3) nurse who correctly would ask if she wanted some meds as she's trying not to throw up we finally got a shift change and got a good nurse who just gave it to her and didn't ask ! Prior nurses I had no confidence in as they gave wrong dose twice after asking for chart to be corrected, tried to take bp on arm that had nodes removed despite large orange bracelet the that said don't use this arm. , and would bring the nausia med that wouldn't help when I asked for her order of phenergan

4) plastic surgeon who either wasn't paged or didn't return page . Then the on call dr wouldn't help as he didn't want to override the plastic surgeon ( I was giving it until 11 pm and I was wheeling her to the ER)

5) a husband who had seen his wife suffer for 15 hours hasn't slept much hasn't been able to run and hasn't been able to eat nutritiously (can you say crunchier meat loaf?) if you hear of a husband who was a dick it was me

Ok it's a new day lets get out of here as I told dr just let me take her home I guarantee you I can take better care of her than this

she's much better since midnight when she finally got some care. I met with the director wed and she was out yesterday but when all this went down the directors assistant . I don't know if me being here made her care worse since they knew I was here they ignored her seems like the patients that are alone are getting more attention this care give could be a counter intuitive issue where your better cared for if you're alone. I have to stay positive we got great news   on final path report nodes still negative, good margins, tumor was smaller than they thought, down graded cancer from stage 2 to stage 1a but I'm glad it's today

we finally got nausia under control on Sunday with the 5th or 6th med . I think it was multiple factors but it's been 3 days and still good. Went to plastic surgeons yesterday and I called the day before and told them she had 20 min of energy so she can't wait in waiting room it went very well got 3 drains out!

doing well got her last 3 drains out yesterday Dr wouldnt budge on the 6 wk no whoopie moratorium...(how can you go running at 4 wks but cant be intimate?). Go to oncologist tomorrow for a Oncotest result one of those weird ones where I don’t want it to be bad-ie aggressive cancer over 17 and I don’t want it to be good ie 1-ie they wont give her radiation and chemo because its so good and that makes me nervous theyre not doing something …kind of hoping for something in the middle...