Key points to help my mother with breast cancer Thoughts?

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simplelittlemama
simplelittlemama Member Posts: 2
edited August 2014 in Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After

Hi 

I am living 6 hours away from my mother and have 2 school age children. My husband works out of town. My mother lives alone is retired and really does not have any real tried and true friend. There is zero family other then myself. We are at the first stages of all of this. She has 3 masses in her left breast and one has grown very quickly in just 6 weeks. The largest is 3 1/2 the other 2 smaller. Waiting on Biopsy to see if its gone into lymph.Bilateral is happening in Sept. Chemo for sure possible radiation. The plan.... I will stay with Mom 1-2 weeks after surgery depending on what she wants and needs. Doctor said about a week is needed. Does this mean she can drive after that? She will not have reconstruction for 6-12 months so they can get any cancer cells that may be hiding out. How fast does chemo start after surgery? How many months? How can she be alone through that?Can she even be so many hours away alone? Do I need to move her to my town(she has said no a zillion x)Anyhow trying to be a supportive daughter I love my mom! She is head strong she has deep faith and is very matter of fact.I don't want to overwhelm her as I know she is just focused on surgery date right now. Any thoughts I would be so grateful for!

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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited August 2014

    i was fine after bilateral mastectomies. My sister was here but i was back in hospital to monitor hemoglobin levels from leaking drain amd sister left the day i got home...4 days after surgery.  I was fine. I was also alone for chemo and was fine. I didn't drive so took cabs for appointments because i was a bit weak from low hemoglobin but i was able to do everything at home right away.  I only needed plain tylenol the day after surgery.

    I didn't have reconstruction because i wasn't willing to put myself through the recovery and pain.

    Barring complications it should be easier than you imagine if she is independent.

    Best of luck wishes going your way.

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  • simplelittlemama
    simplelittlemama Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2014

    Thank you for your response. I just want to make sure I am there the entire time that she needs and wants. My nephew has ALL and the first month of chemo was round the clock care because he was so tired and sick. I am very concerned about my mothers isolation from help and chemo ug . Thank you again wishing you blessings forward 

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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited August 2014

    I didn't have a BMX, but am single and managed through my chemo fine. It isn't fun, but if you can't be there, I'm sure she will appreciate you checking in on her. A friend took me to chemo, although I feel I could've gone on my own. More for moral support than anything else. There are resources through the American Cancer Society for rides to appts, cleaning, etc if you need to explore those options. I saw a list for prepping for surgery on here at one time. I hope she does well! It is over-whelming and it sounds like she is taking one step at a time...which is good!

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