Didn't turn out as well as planned

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dunesleeper
dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
edited May 2015 in Alternative Medicine

Hi. I stayed cancer-free for 2 years using alternative methods. Unfortunately I went through a long period of extreme anxiety and stress, to the point of being hospitalized with a nervous breakdown and then cutting myself off from the group because I always seemed to be getting into arguments and felt I could not possibly support anyone here. Anyway, I've been living with my mother the past 6 months and my house is sold, so the stress is down. Unfortunately, I lost control of the strict diet I had been following. Mom's in charge and does not believe organic food is worth the money.

So, I think I am now stage 4. I don't see the doc until the 20th but I will be mighty surprised if tests show I'm not. I also developed lymphedema. Boy! That can hurt when it swells a lot. I didn't know it was painful. I get evaluated for that on the 18th, but when your arm suddenly looks like Popeye's, well ...... It might be the cancer or whatever it is causing these lumps along the clavicle and neck that brought it on.

Any thoughts on pros and con's of continuing alternative vs going conventional this time around?

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  • Golden01
    Golden01 Member Posts: 916
    edited August 2014

    How about an integrative approach? Use the best of everything. 

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    Dune, I am sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have had a horrible time.

    Did you have surgery the first time around?

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited August 2014

    dunesleeper,

    I remember you! Sorry that you've been through such tough times but glad you've touched base with bco. I know you'll be seeing your doctorsoon, but why do you think you have mets? I guess what I'm trying to say is take a deep breath and don't assume you have mets or worry about tx until you know what you are dealing with. Easier said than done, but try. As for diet/health habits, I agree that we should all try to do the best we can in these areas but you know by now that bc mets are not respectful of these things. Don't beat yourself up. Take good care.

    Caryn

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  • Golden01
    Golden01 Member Posts: 916
    edited August 2014

    Remember to breathe.

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  • CarrieBelongs
    CarrieBelongs Member Posts: 17
    edited August 2014

    Hi Dunesleeper,

    So sorry to hear about all the stress.  I'm very impressed with your success managing the cancer naturally for so long.   Please don't isolate.  There are some here that you can be yourself with and discuss your treatment options with and it won't become an argument.  I'd love to help any way that I am able.

    Please keep us updated.  And, you don't have a stage IV diagnosis, so try to not worry about that (I know, easier said than done).

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited August 2014

    DuneSleeper you are going to be ok. Stress and anxiety are the worst maybe you can get a prescription to relieve some of it.

    I too worry and second guess myself all the time. Until the doctor says different you aren't stage 4.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    Good plan to wait for an actual DX. I'm definitely trying to do that, but as you know my success at that sort of waxes and wanes. Momine I did have sx the first go around. It was a mastectomy, but there is a lump at the bottom of the implant and toward the center. The other lumps are large and a bit achey at my clavicle and neck. I think the integrative approach is where I am currently leaning. It's weird. My bloodwork, including tumor marker, is supposed to be OK. It is very confusing. Thanks for all your replies. How's everyone doing?

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited August 2014

    I just typed a long rely and it disappeared.......!!!! so glad to see you back Dunes and that your spirit is still intact.......B I G hugs......xxx

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    Dune, thanks for the info. So I assume you had MX and reconstruction surgeries, but no chemo, rads or hormone blockers? 

    Do you get results on the 20th or are you going to do tests on the 20th? I find waiting to be the worst, so maybe you could ask for a bit more speed there.

    So far, so good for me. As you can see from my profile, I went conventional and aggressively so. September will be my 3-yr BMX anniversary, which means that next week I have to go in for testing, which I dread. I don't think that dread ever goes away. My cancer was more advanced than yours, so even with aggressive treatment there is always a fairly good chance of relapse. But I try to enjoy my life as fully as possible for as long as I have it.

    One thing that has definitely helped my anxiety, general mental state, and has possibly also helped keep the cancer at bay is exercise. Any time I feel out of sorts, I go for a walk and it always helps.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    3 years YAY Momine! I had 2 years in March, March 7. I guess the test anxiety does reduce over time. I know a lady at church who was finally released from the tests and once after 23 years. I was like, whoa! They keep watching you all that time!?!?!

    I found an exercise I really really liked. It always made me smile. I have a Wii. I had been using the sports disc, and I would work up quite a sweat. It got too competitive though. I don't like when they tell you "you lose" while my avatar hangs her head in defeat. I bought Dance 2014. It's awesome! I'm such a lousy dancer, but I'm learning some moves and having a blast. The lymphedema is kind of interfering with my ability to do it. However, I hope to do it as long as I can. It really is fun. I guess I'll be adding some walking now, since upper body stuff is now even more difficult. I sure did move my mastectomy side arm more than I had in the previous 2 years -- going for 5 star status. LOL

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    Dune, keep dancing!

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  • AlaskaAngel
    AlaskaAngel Member Posts: 1,836
    edited August 2014


    Hi Dune! I'm curious -- what kind of "dancing" is included with Dance 2014?

    No matter what choice one makes, it is hard not to question it. (I did chemo, but still wish I hadn't). I like dancing but don't like some other types of exercise because they are so boringly repetitive.

    Also, when it comes to lumps, they can be lots of different things that are not cancer, so take it easy on yourself until there is more definite info.

    A.A.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    Hi A.A. There are so many different songs on Dance 2014. You can even see some of it on youtube. I don't know some of the songs, others I have heard of, and others I love. My usual sequence (if I can remember correctly) is Frozen, Flashdance, Prince Ali, I Will Survive, Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight, I'm just a Gigolo, In the Summertime, YMCA, 99 Luftballoons.

    This video shows all the songs available as of 8/25/13  Wii Dance 2014 Songs

    Here's one I really enjoy:  Frozen, Falling to Pieces

    And here's one we probably all enjoy: I Will Survive!

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  • juneping
    juneping Member Posts: 1,594
    edited August 2014

    dune,

    may be you can show your mom ewg.org...per the website, we don't have to eat everything organic but certain food we better go for organic. my sis told me always go to the farmers market at the end so they'd sell everything cheap....

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    LOL June. I'll have to pass that tip on to my mother. How are you doing June?

    As far as EWG, I have the lists of the dirty dozen and clean 13 (or was it 14, 15, 16) on the fridge. It doesn't make much of an impression on her. She has been far more accommodating since I realized the lump was not one bug bite but rather a bunch of bumps.

    If this should turn out to be something that requires treatment, I'm going to have a bit of a dilemma. I moved to the other side of town, so I am no longer close to the oncologist or the hospital that has been treating me. If I should require treatment I want it to be closer to home. Does anyone know of anyone who has run into this and how did they handle it?

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    Momine let us know how the tests go. Good luck this week!

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    Dune, thanks!

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    It has been moving up towards my shoulder and neck area. First its a small bead. Within days it grows and protrudes and hooks up with the previous one creating this elongated, painful, hot thing that grows. Now I found a bead at about axilla level. I feel like alien is in my body.

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  • juneping
    juneping Member Posts: 1,594
    edited August 2014

    dune - work has kept me busy...besides of that i am doing okay. got close with my ex since the dx then he pulled away again which was pretty upsetting to me. i bloody blocked him on my phone. i don't need this kind of stress in my life.

    and from what you wrote...it sounds more like an infection. can you call your doc up and move the appt early a little?

    watch this video with your mom if you haven't....he had survived brain cancer for 25 years but he passed away in 12 or 13. he left quite a compelling body of work. i think everyone should watch the video which he was so funny...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaDt3AJQ98c

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    Thanks June, and I'm very sorry about your boyfriend. You definitely don't need stress. Really, I think it is essential to be as relaxed as possible. I swear I think the stress is what ruined my plan. I should have spent more time doing relaxation exercises. I'll check out the video later and reply back again. You take care.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    How are those tests going Momine?

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    Dune, thanks for asking. Still waiting for blood work, but lungs and liver are clear! :)

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    June, thanks for posting that lecture. I found the experiment with the stressed rats particularly interesting. I had concluded something similar, so it was nice to hear a scientific confirmation of my hunch.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    That is awesome Momine!!! Clear is good.

    My oncologist's nurse STILL has not called me back. The receptionist or whatever she is has called me paranoid. She did ask me to explain exactly what I was seeing, but in the middle of it she decided to transfer me to the nurse. The nurse did not answer, so I left a message. That was 2 days ago. My mother called there twice today asking them to please call me back, and . . . nothing. I don't think I could even trust them to treat me at this point. I am looking into other treatment facilities, but so far, I have had no luck.

    I did learn that putting an iced bandana over my shoulder and collar bone helps keep the inflammation down. That is helpful. The things are still growing, and new ones show up each day. My new name shall be Lumpy! As far as I can determine, my lymph nodes are swelling either because of an infection or because of cancer. I am not aware of having any infection, but hopefully that doesn't mean I don't have one. 

    We get the terrible two and the angry 6 year old tomorrow. I need rescuing!

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited August 2014

    I'm sorry to read this news dunes.

    I'll be prayin for u 

    I too found lumps popping up on my bady but the scan turned out to be nuthin

    I'm hoping urs is the same

    Xoxo FireKracker ....

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  • juneping
    juneping Member Posts: 1,594
    edited August 2014

    dune - your doc's office wasn't being professional. but at the meantime, pls call them tomorrow first thing. exaggerate your symptoms if you have to. sometimes i found those so called doctors are so unprofessional, they either let you wait for over 30 min for the appts or don't respond when you call. i hope you'll get to see the doc soon. call once and ask your mom to deal with them, this way you don't have to get all stressed out. we are here for you....

    momine - same here. the rat experiment was very interesting. personally i think it's the stress/hopelessness/unhappy state of mind that brought cancer on me. so now, i eat healthy which is not so hard and try to stay positive which is hard. i am a hot head by nature and always go straight to the worst scenario when things happen. my sister keeps telling me to calm down or else all those organic (expensive to her POV) would go wasted.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited August 2014

    June, what I found so interesting with the rats was that it was not the actual stress that was a problem, but their feeling powerless to do anything about it. Powerful illustration of why we have to take control of our own lives. The whole point is that you do not have to be all positive and perky all the time. You have to take real steps to feel good and feel in control of your life.

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  • lightandwind
    lightandwind Member Posts: 754
    edited August 2014

    "You have to take real steps to feel good and in control of your life". 

    So true Momine.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    That gives me some hope FireKracker. Thanks.

    I slept in. Mom just took the wild things to the library. Good luck to her. LOL. I'm drinking my organic coffee with organic milk and not stressing over lumps. Less than a week until I see the doc. Lympho therapist on Monday. Things will start rolling next week for sure!

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2014

    I have started watching the video. Is this the author of The China Study? I think that's the name. I was being very diligent about eating based much on that. However, I got totally off track when I moved in with mom. She has sugar everywhere in here and eventually I started back with it. Now I binge on it in the middle of the night half asleep. I started wearing my teeth guard, and that has helped. So, before moving in here I was hit with a boatload of stress, to the point of a total nervous breakdown. Then here, my diet went awry. Let's hope I get another chance to do things right. I'll drink to that. Just kidding. Beer is a carcinogen.

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