Best Friend just dx'ed w/ St 4 BC with Bone Mets

Gary63
Gary63 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Hi, my best friend was just diagnosed with Stage 4 BC with bone mets. She is estrogen and progesteron negative and waiting to hear on her2nue (tomorrow). She seems to have a solid dr. with good access to clinicals at MDA etc. They will be starting treatment right away, regardless of Her2 + or -. I guess the difference would be either she gets Herceptin or not.

I want to do everything possible to be helpful and supportive, sometimes thinking "do I even know what that means?" This has all just happened. I wonder if there is a list of do's and don'ts somewhere. I read a list of "stupidest things my friends have said" That was great, since I'd already said several of them myself.
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Comments

  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited July 2008

    She's in good hands if she is being treated and MD Anderson. Its one of the best in the country. Best wishes to you and your friend.

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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2006
    I have stage iv - bone mets. Don't worry too much about saying something stupid - is most important that you keep talking. What I like (and everyone's different) is for people to try to act the same around me as they always have. Don't make everything about cancer, it's what she's fighting but not what she is.

    It's great that you are trying to do the right thing. I'm sure she doesn't know how to act either - be willing to muddle through it with her and don't think you're better off saying nothing than saying the wrong thing - nothing is further from the truth. She needs her friend and doesn't want you to walk on eggshells around her (just be ready for a quick I'm sorry and hug if she seems to take something not how it was intended!)

    Good luck and point your friend to the boards - they're great. I go to MDA also (Houston) and LOVE IT.
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  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited September 2006
    Sending hugs to your best friend as she goes through this scary time. What a good friend you are to reach out for help. I agree with KariLynn, let her know to come to the boards to answer any questions or to share her feelings. We are one big family. We will be here to support her and you as tx happens.

    Hugs and Prayers,
    Lexi
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  • Canadria
    Canadria Member Posts: 5
    edited September 2006

    Understand what you are going through. My mom is 4th stage breast cancer. Stay positive no matter what. That's the only thing I can suggest. And as somone suggested be the person you have always been. Don't change your personality to accomidate her cancer. It is true that is not what she is. Keep your friends spirits up. I have no idea how to do that, I am still trying to figure that out myself. I hope your friend comes through and beats this. Love her through her rough days, love her through her good days. Just remember to just be her friend.

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  • Gary63
    Gary63 Member Posts: 2
    edited September 2006
    Thanks for your replies. I have told her about these boards, and as her treatment etc starts to get in gear, I hope she comes here for support, encouragement and to ask questions.

    It turns out she is triple negative. I don't know the spelling, but they are starting with carboplatin and something along the lines of "Areta"?? She starts that next week. I'll certainly be back here, and try and figure out the right spots to post different issues.

    Thanks again for the advice and kind words.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to every person fighting BC.

    Gary
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  • jasmine
    jasmine Member Posts: 1,286
    edited July 2008
    Gary

    You both might enjoy the chatroom as well. Its better in the mornings as its not quite so busy.
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