Sophia...depression gallops in the DH's family!  In fact it seems to affect the smartest men in his family.  Neuroscientists are still trying to sort out why depression occurs.   While loss of control may play into it, the important point is not to focus on what may have caused it so much as to focus on finding whatever the means there are to helping you get well.  Recognizing you are depressed and want help is a huge step in getting better.  From my experience with the DH, all I can say is there are meds that help.  After trying meditation, talk therapy, hypnosis and a whole host of meds, we finally stumbled on a medication that brought rays of sunshine back into his life.  Despite the side effects of the meds that affect his QOL, having had several severe bouts of depression, he now understands that his depression is chronic and will require meds the rest of his life.  However, for most people who I say catch a depression, they take a medication and ultimately recover.  Depression as the commercial says, "hurts."  And just like you treat other illnesses, depression can be treated AND cured.

Hope you are feeling better soon!  I wish you well!

SophieMarie, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression a few months before I was intially dx with bc, I am currently taking Cymbalta 60 mg for depression and Risperidone 2 mg for mood swings. A few months ago I ran out of insurance and stopped taking these meds. but still took Arimidex which is what I get for cancer. The se's from the Arimidex went through the roof! including mood swings, depression and hot flashes, as soon as I was back on the psych meds the se's from Arimidex dissapeared. The new ASCO standard of care for cancer patients in general urge oncologists to screen cancer patients for depression and refer to a psiquiatrist if necessary. Psyquiatrists in general do not provide "talk" therapy, they're MD's and their role is to make sure your level of medication is the recommended one to keep you stable. As for "talk" therapy I've found that a support group for other bc patients is preferable to a psychologist that does not  have experience with bc. Depression is a chemical imbalance which in my case occurred prior to bc but that in the case of cancer it can be exacerbated by thoughts of dying and by the medicines we take, so I would suggest to see a Psyquiatrist and maybe try to find a support group. 

Hope you can find the right match for you

Aurora

Racy!  I'm so sorry that your mood is affected by your cancer diagnosis. You really, really don't need to feel that way, every day.  Do speak to a physician and ask if there is something more that can be done so you can feel better.

Racy, so many people look to the "why" they feel the way they do.  However, IMHO that is a waste of energy.  When you catch a cold, do you ask yourself why you got it?  Bottom line, you treat the cold and then you get better and then stop thinking about how lousy you felt when you had the cold.  I know you think I am crazy comparing a cold with cancer.  But think about it.  Does one walk around every day with a cold?  No!  So why should each day a person be saddled with a horrible feeling that affects one's being?  

My sister's niece (her husband's brother's daughter) perished on 9/11.  We also lost a host of friends that day.  One of the awful things about living in NY is that on most days, we are reminded of 9/11 for one reason or another.  We watch the news and there is always something said about terrorism. My family and extended family and  I all grieved and still grieve for those who died that day.  The only one whose grief from that awful day hasn't abated is my sister's sister-in-law who lost her beautiful daughter on that day.  Her grief has turned the most vivacious person into a walking stone.

My point.  No one needs a reason for how their depression came to be.  And no one should suffer every day with an illness that is treatable.  At the height of one of the DH's deepest, darkest depressions, he too was a walking stone, catatonic.  IMHO, depression is the most ugly illness known to humanity. It robs one of the beauty of life.  And despite all of life's ups and especially downs, which we know there are many, we should all be able to ENJOY living.  

So, if anyone believes their mood is off, seek help.  And if you are receiving help and your mood is still off, seek more help.  Life IS beautiful and all of us are owed the pleasure of enjoying it.

I agree with everything voraciusreader said. And jill47 I totally get where you're coming from. I was officially dx with bipolar depression in 2009 a few months before my bc dx but I realize that since I was very little I had emotional issues, I was a cry baby when I was little and through out my young adult years I battled depression without getting help. My current therapist says that a dx of bc can exacerbate an already dx of depression, the standard of care for cancer has issues warnings to oncologists to screen all cancer patients for depression and refer to psychiatrists and/or psychologists if needed. From personal experience I can tell you that cymbalta (I take 60 mg a day) has helped not only with depression but with neuropathic pain as well. And the mood stabilizer (risperidone 2mg) has helped with the mood swings steaming from estrogen deprivation and with the hot flashes. So in my opinion cancer. cancer treatment, and depression and depression treatment have a connecting relationship.

I too would like to see this conversation to continue.

Aurora

"What causes depression?

(This article was first printed in Understanding
Depression, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical
School.)

It’s often said that depression results from a chemical imbalance, but that
figure of speech doesn’t capture how complex the disease is. Research suggests
that depression doesn’t spring from simply having too much or too little of
certain brain chemicals. Rather, depression has many possible causes, including
faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life
events, medications, and medical problems. It’s believed that several of these
forces interact to bring on depression.

To be sure, chemicals are involved in this process, but it is not a simple
matter of one chemical being too low and another too high. Rather, many
chemicals are involved, working both inside and outside nerve cells. There are
millions, even billions, of chemical reactions that make up the dynamic system
that is responsible for your mood, perceptions, and how you experience life.

With this level of complexity, you can see how two people might have similar
symptoms of depression, but the problem on the inside, and therefore what
treatments will work best, may be entirely different.

Researchers have learned much about the biology of depression. They’ve
identified genes that make individuals more vulnerable to low moods and
influence how an individual responds to drug therapy. One day, these discoveries
should lead to better, more individualized treatment (see “From the lab to your
medicine cabinet”), but that is likely to be years away. And while researchers
know more now than ever before about how the brain regulates mood, their
understanding of the biology of depression is far from complete.

What follows is an overview of the current understanding of the major factors
believed to play a role in depression....."

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/what-causes-depression.htm

Hi RidleyI also started effexor for the hot flashes, mood etc..Just a heads up it can take a couple weeks to even out and start working. Sometimes a bit longer. I've been on it now for about 3 weeks and can say that my body is feeling better. It actually made me feel yuck for a while, lathargic, dry mouth, kinda scatter brained I had no drive to really do anything. BUT, I am much better now and am thankful that I stuck it out. Not sure yet how it's helping with the hot flashes but everything else is good for me. Good luck with it, hang in there!

Jennie, post treatment blues - exactly.  I am so glad you started this thread SophiaMarie.  I have been feeling melancholy and loss of purpose for months.  I have not been myself but not sure what was wrong.  It is a strange feeling, like a sort of detachment at times. I think this cancer experience really did a number on me mentally. I like your suggestion of local support groups. I will look into that because just as you say, no one else can understand what this is like except those that have been there.

thanks jenniemarie -- I took the first Effexor this morning -- I'm hoping for good results.

CoffeeLatte, I'm so glad you will look into a support group. These forums are wonderful but there's something about being with your sister's who've fought this fought or are currently in it or getting ready to start it. Just because we've come out the other side doesn't mean we are done and ready to just jump right back into life as we used to know it. Nothing is the same anymore for us. I think that's why we feel that detachment and meloncholy emotions. But, we are not alone and we need eachother! It can be so uplifing to come alongside someone getting ready to go thru what you've survived and encourage them and give them hope. It's very theraputic for you and for others you can speak to! One foot in front of the other. You have great purpose! 

Hi Iwanna....I'm sorry about your bc dx. but the timing of the better AD dosage is a miracle. I'm not on tamoxifen but I do understand if given the choice why you'd take the AD over tamox.  Prior to my dx of depression/anxiety, I was feeling so miserable & begged my gyno surgeon to prescribe hormone therapy, he flat out said no and said no other doc would either.  I was willing to take the risk of bc coming back over feeling so horrible.  When he told me I could expect to feel this bad for 5-10 years w/out estrogen and that women like me are usually treated with AD .  Thank God though my neuro recommended psychiatrist for the right treatment. 

I have suffered from sleepllesness and anxiety for years. I also get what I call "situational depression" in that I know the causes. Some I can remove, others just not possible. My doctor tried me on SSRIs several years ago and none of them agreed with me. They all made me feel horrible. Wellbutrin was the worst for me. In the end we settled on a low dose lorazepam as anxiety was the worst problem but I ration them as she does not like me taking them every day. I do find it helps when I am feeling depressed though. Also it does not interact with AIs which I go on shortly. HOWEVER, if the AIs make me feel worse and I cannot find something to alleviate it I have no intention of "feeling this bad for 5 to 10 years" as Jill was told. If a doctor said that to me I am afraid would tell him where to put his pills in no uncertain fashion and find a more empathetic doctor to help work something out.  Cancer is scary but not as scary to me as being sleepless, anxious and unhappy for the forseeable future. I  am about to quit my job after years of stress and want to enjoy life a bit.

Auroaya, my situation is a little different, in that I just have a high risk condition, not breast cancer-just LCIS. I'm comfortable right now with being closely monitored.

Iwanna....yes, my neurologist (was seeing for brain lesions (benign), chronic headaches, stupor & insomnia)) gave me an amitriptyline (one of the earliest AD's, it was not the right med for me); I was on it until I started seeing the psychiatrist who said, I don't what it is w/ neurologists they like giving that old AD; he put me on Duloxetine (generic cymbalta) 30mg, on it for the last 11 days, less SEs that the other one and I am already calmer and less reactive to stress, headaches improved other than the left ear/jaw pain, I need to see a TMJD specialist to confirm TMJD, sleep issues persist. Seeing psychiatrist weekly for awhile to ensure the duloxetine and dosage is right for me, after this weekend where I've been more down, my dosage may go up.  I don't know.  Have a good day ladies, off to work. 

I have found this thread fascinating; thank you all for being honest. I started having hot flashes at 49. I tried a supplement, but it didn't work. I exercised regularly but that didn't offset the hot flashes and overall grumpiness. I finally went a gyn who put me on the lowest dose of HRT. I was on this med for 4 1/2 years and felt back to normal the whole time. Then BC hit and I will always wonder if the HRT caused it. BS said that there's no direct link and I've read other research that says the same. Still, I wonder. 

The BS made me quit the drug cold turkey and I've been in full hot flashes ever since. The hot flashes interrupt my sleep which then makes me tired and grumpy. I think if I could get back to running and hiking, some of these symptoms will go away. However, just as the PS released me to get on with my life, I developed plantar fasciitis. I'm in PT twice a week with the therapists working on my foot as well as my upper body due to the bmx and reconstruction. Chronic pain can cause depression and I feel like I'm on the edge of depression. 

I'm going to join the Y and start swimming to see if exercise gives me some relief. If not, I think I'm going to need some meds to get through this emotionally.