Husband pressurising to have implant replaced after rupture

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AliJ
AliJ Member Posts: 1
edited August 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I feel a bit of a fraud as I'm actually ten years on from diagnosis and 'all-clear'. However, as is the way with cancer, it has a way of reminding you how spiteful it can be. Having had a badly ruptured implant removed [leaking silicone, internal bleeding, inflammation ,etc] I am now back at 'just had a mastectomy' in terms of recovery. I feel I may not want to have the implant replaced now and just get on with a prosthesis. However, pre-cancer I was a 36AAA [ie flat-chested - ironic?!], so when I had my mastectomy I opted for latimus dorsii recon and a right breast augmentation which left me with a nice pair of 36Cs. A nice bonus during a black time?

However since then, I had a rupture in the right [healthy] breast which was replaced 4 years ago; left breast redone twice due to capsular contracture; nipple recon; then removal of the ruptured implant last week.

Husband is already hinting that I should have the left one put back to get my 36Cs back again, but I'm not keen on more surgery. I don't get sick pay as I'm part-time and on probation for another few months, and as he's been out of work for months now, we can't afford to lose any more ££. I can't afford more time off work as I feel they won't take me seriously and will always be looking out for faults as I have had to take time off so soon into a new job. I also don't buy in to the 'bad luck' reason for both my implants rupturing.

I have plans to get fit for track running next season, I don't want to be feeling that my implant might rupture after the next 400m rep!

How do I get through this and keep my husband 'on-side' as I really think he will never want to have sex with me again if I don't have the breast replaced. I might decide to do just that later on anyway as tbh I have changed my wardrobe a little and many of my necklines don't 'suit' full-cup bras! It's just the thought of more surgery / more time out of work / etc

Any advice please?

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2014

    Hello AliJ,

    Welcome to Breastcancer.org. We are sympathetic to your concerns, and we're sure that others will chime in with responses to your post before long. In the meantime, have you checked out our Discussion Forum, Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy? There are several active Topics within that Forum where you may find some support as well.

    You will also find some helpful links here: Helpful Links on Living without reconstruction after mastectomy.

    Keeping you in our thoughts,

    The Mods

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  • sarahjane7374
    sarahjane7374 Member Posts: 669
    edited August 2014

    You've been through a lot of surgery and complications, so I can definitely see why another procedure isn't appealing to you right now! 

    Can you talk to your husband and discuss the same points you cite above?  What you say makes a lot of sense.....not wanting to jeopardize a new position, financial considerations, and just being sick of going under the knife!  It's not that you're saying 'never', just saying 'not now, I need a break'.  Hopefully he can understand where you are coming from.  There's more than just sex to consider, but don't get me going on that subject....

    I can't speak to living with a prosthesis, but I've seen many ladies here who are really happy with them. 

    I wish you the best. :)

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited August 2014


    Wow,, sounds like you have had so much surgery already. I can understand why you would want to at least postpone it for a while.

    I'm half flat and happy with it. You'll find a lot of ladies in this community who feel the same way. Hopefully if you tell your husband your concerns about finances, etc,, he will get on board.  Best of luck to you.

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited August 2014

    I also think a postponement or delay is in order. I felt a lot of pressure from my husband to reconstruct. All went well, but a little voice inside me says I might rather have not reconstructed. You do what is right for you. When you are happy your husband will see that and will come around. Your body, your decision. 

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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited August 2014

    i would be turned off by someone who suggested i go through risky surgery again for his visual pleasure. Tell him that after his comments you will have trouble "getting it up" for him from now on.

    Take care of yourself.

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