Starting Chemo in April 2014

Well it's day 5 after chemo and the "not constipated anymore" portion of the program has started, right on schedule. Many of you have talked about the worsening fatigue and I'm right there with you. Even on my "good" days when I walk up 2 flights of stairs to my office, there should be a cheering crowd and a "finish line" ribbon at the top because I feel like I just ran a marathon. I hate feeling so weak and fragile, like I'll never feel strong again. Even when I finish chemo (last round Aug 6), I still have the mastectomy to deal with, so I know it will be a long time before I'm back to normal. I just want to crawl into bed and stay asleep until this is over. On the positive side, my sister is in town and she made me chocolate chip cookies.

Oh, and with the sparse white fuzz that's growing longer on my head, I no longer look like a baby chick, but now I'm starting to look like a mad scientist. 

Go Footballnut!!!! You are amazing!!!! you should be floating and walking on air today

how do you even start to get on stage with him? I mean, how do you even get his attention? LOL.  If I were ever able to get on stage with Marcus Mumford I think I would pass out and freeze up in the state of shock. LOL>

ddkath I had a banner printed several years ago that says "Scott pick me for dead and bloated". Best $100 I ever spent. I've been fortunate enough to get up with him in jones beach ny, Hamilton Ontario and now toronto. 

The banner plus the red fedora is what does it. He has his own clothing line as well and I've worn that too. 

I don't think that I could do it anymore. Each time he's been so gracious!

Because of him we were guests of the band after the show on Saturday. He has a very kind side to him that I'll never forget!

Hello All!  I've been MIA since my last chemo on Wednesday, and oh my goodness I have missed a lot!  

Congrats Cold on  your last chemo...I love the sign your little guy made!  Clarrn...I am sorry for all the trouble you've been experiencing...but I love your potty chair  We are here are all here for you, whether it's laughing or crying!  FBN...omg, you are on stage...how cool is that?!  I know I'm not addressing everyone, but please know I'm thinking of each and every one of you.

My last chemo Dark Place was like all the others...awful.  Taxol has a way of making every single joint in my body scream...even my toes hurt.  I have been on Advil and Norco continuously since Friday night, but I'm hoping I can just use Advil tonight.  I was nervous about my side effects this weekend because for the first time I did NOT get a neulasta shot.  I ended up having the exact side effects as always, so apparently the neulasta side effects were completely taken care of with the daily Claritin I take.  But, as always, Monday morning I'm feeling pretty good.  I have to admit, though, that the last chemo was a bit of a let down.  I think I had this wild dream of my hair growing in over the weekend and my oncologist calling to say I didn't need radiation afterall  Those things didn't happen, but I am grateful I will never again experience that Dark Place.

I made an appointment with my radiation oncologist.  He's on vacation for more than two weeks!  I can't even get in to see him until the first week of August, so I have a feeling I won't actually get my treatment started for several more weeks to come.  I'm kind of bummed, as I assumed I'd start treatment right away.  Same with my port removal.  My surgeon is on leave for three weeks, so unless I want to recruit a new surgeon, I have to wait until she's available sometime in August.  I just want this all to be done sooner, rather than later, and no matter what I do I'm always feeling like I'm being put on the back burner.  

I hope you all are having a better day today.  Thank you for being here for me.  Can you send some "grow hair fast" vibes my way?  

xoxo

So glad you are through the last dark place SwissMiss... * fast growing hair vibes*

Still here in hospital, more IV attempts.... might get a port with 5 weekd left of chemo? 

wondering why some are on taxol vs taxotere. 

I am also nervous about what is ahead. Tamoxifen. I haven't heard anything good about it from many women. Side effects galore. Ugh!!

Ugh - getting ready for the chair tomorrow for #5 - and taking those ducking steriods.  Have I mentioned how much I hate the steriods??  Don't know if I will really be doing #5 or #6 - will all depend on my liver enzymes, which have been climbing since the first treatment.  If they have climbed further I think I will stop chemo and continue with the herceptin only.  As of my last treatment they were already in the range that the manufacturer of taxotere recommends stopping so I will not go any further if they have increased.  My MO did reduce the dose to see if that helped.  Not sure what kind of a discussion I will have with him if I want to stop and he doesn't want me to but I have to make the best decision for me.  I still feel like I am in the throws of the bad SE days from #4 - never really recovered from that treatment - no energy at all, and all the typical SE's seem to be hanging on in different levels of bad.  Hope everyone is having minimal SE's and those that are having them - hope you are coming out of the dark dementor occupied land.  CONGRATS to all that are finished!!

My MO  gave me some good news.: he said tamoxifen can increase your libido!!!

Hello Ladies

I have been following the group from my email, but I have not posted in a while. I think of you ladies all the time, and I still am laughing and crying with you all.

I am now seven weeks post chemo and started Tamoxifen last week. I do not know where to start.

Football Amazing I am jealous.

A small note about ports - I had my port removed with my implant surgery. Chemo kills our veins. Please seriously consider leaving your ports in. The morning of my surgery the first nurse could not get my IV started. The second couldn't either. The anesthesiologist couldn't get it. They brought in a doppler and then an ultra sound machine. After six attempt the second anesthesiologist finally got it. Last week I was really sick and went to my infusion center to get fluids and they hunted down "the best nurse" to put my IV in. She worked in the building but not in the same center. It took her three times. This one little point was never told to me. So, I wanted to let you all know before you rush to remove your port. I easily made the decision to have it removed. I wish I had not. Ask your nurses!

Neuropathy has slowly diminished but I have very weak muscles and can not do much so I am starting physical therapy soon.

Fatigue - still here! I spoke with a thirteen month survivor and she told me it takes a good six months minimum to start to  let up. Not happy about that.

Tamoxifen- My hot flashes are becoming less frequent, but they are horrible when I get them. I work at a laboratory supply company, and one thing I do is research the researchers. Many women stop taking Tamoxifen because of the side effects. I am already very moody. This fact has prompted a search for an alternative. I along with many of you ladies have to take tamoxifen and I am not happy about it either. I will take it as long as possible and I hope I make it through the whole five years.

I remind myself that this is a battle and I have to keep fighting! All Good days are in the future for us all!

after my horrid first round with taxotere and herceptin 3 weeks ago I have slight numbness and tingling in my left leg and foot. Mostly in my foot and calf but seems to be creeping up my leg

Having said that before my treatment I would sometimes experience similar sensations if I didn't work our regularly. So maybe it's targeting weaker areas 

I too have a port. Mine is a paediatric port because my right side is so small. I can't wait to have it out but will be on herceptin until next July and then suspect that it will have to stay in 2 years post diagnosis "just incase". Sucks!!

footballnut, I want to be in your fan club! You are fearless and never forget that. I love how you are relentless with your passions.  A true inspiration. You make me smile.

Lots of us are going through the weekly chemo and som like you and me didn't have it on our radar when we started chemo.  Like everything else, you will get through it. The harder part for me is not feeling like a get a break from chemo girl. But, taxol  weekly is soooo much easier than dd taxotere. Yuck!  Best f luck with your on and infusion Wednesday. I hit the chair tomorrow and afterward I can celebrate only 9 left!

I hop

mikishelley: That's good to hear. I'll have to think about keeping mine a bit longer then. Thanks for the advice. I don't have my exchange surgery until Spring 2015, due to radiation following chemo, and a 6 month wait period between finishing rads and the exchange surgery, to allow all the skin/tissue to settle-out/heal to a steady state. So, I'd have to keep mine in for at least 8 months after my final chemo.

Super jealous tonight of all those done chemo! 

Feeling a bit down today.  I am still in hospital and will be here until at least Friday   Another 6 IV attempts today.. no veins left so PICC with daily blood thinner injections.   Ultrasound of my left boob reveals a seroma but no abcess. (Could be better but could be worse too) And it sounds like my next TWO weeks of chemo are going to be postponed or canceled... I miss my husband, my daughter, and my bed.   I see them for a couple hours but it's not the same.

*sigh*  I know this is temporary, I just hate anything messing with my plans, even when it's my own body.  Traitor.

Tomorrow will be better, right? 

Clarn, so sorry! That just sucks. Sucky sucky sucky. If this is the low point, then things can only get better. Gentle hugs.

I've decided to stay home from work today. Hopefully I can persuade my well-meaning sister to go do touristy things so I can spend the day on the couch in a vegetative state and maybe have a meltdown. I haven't had one so far this round.