Sexual Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

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Cheryl417
Cheryl417 Member Posts: 16
edited September 2016 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I know that I can not be the only on out here who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who has be diagnosed with breast cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy   with no reconstruction on August 17, 2012. I had a 7cm size tumor and was stage 2. It did not go into lymph nodes and I do not have to have radiation or chemo therapy . I did start the tomixifen about 1 week ago, have a pressure sore on my incision site and was diagnosed with lymphedema . I will start Compressive decongestive Therapy and Manual lymphatic drainage for 2 weeks starting next Monday. I am still not back at work and will be out until the 2 weeks of therapy is over. As a result of all of this, my PTSD has been a issue as well as having flash backs about  the abuse, nightmares etc. It was a hard decision to do the bilateral but I felt and still do that it was the best decision for me. I have seen alot of support on this web site but have not found anything about abuse surviviors being diagnosed with breast cancer. I would appreciate any comments, support etc

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  • Skyfall
    Skyfall Member Posts: 1
    edited October 2012

    Hi, I was diagnosed in August and had surgery in September. I'm now waiting for the radiation therapy to start but I will not have chemo but started taking tamoxifen some 3 weeks ago. I'm a rape survivor and my PTSD is also kicking in big time these days. I think about the rape a lot and I too have trouble sleeping. I went to work almost straight after the surgery but I feel now that it was too soon. It is almost as if all the counseling I had after the rape was not enough and I need to go back to counseling. For the past two days I've had severe anxiety attacks, no proper sleep and no apatite at all. I feel really guilty to having to put all this on my husband as he was so supportive last year when I was raped and now yet another tragedy with being diagnosed with breast cancer. I just want you to know that you are not the only one feeling overwhelmed, I'm sure there are more of us out there that are going through the same horrible emotional roller coaster. And yes it would be nice to hear from someone who has gone through the same and ear how they coped.

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  • Cheryl417
    Cheryl417 Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2012

    Thank you for repsonding. I thought that I was the only one out here who had breast cancer and had been abused/rapped. I know what you mean about the thearpy, I spent years dealing with the sexual abuse/rape and then when I finally get to the point where I am ok with the woman that I am and ok with my body, I get hit with breast cancer. My breast have been the focus all my life, when I was younger they were hurt by my father and others, due to my size they were the focus of many jokes and comments and now that I had breast cancer there were  the focus again. Doing the bilateral mastectomy was a hard decision but the best for me. Though all the tests, exams etc I was so tired of them being touched and it sent my PTSD off  the charts. Even 8 weeks post op my chest is still the focus. How my scar is healing, the pressure sore on the incesion line. I get questions about how I feel with out them, etc. I am not  back to work yet due to developing lymphedema and it looks like I will be out a couple more weeks. The nightmares and flashbacks about the abuse is a huge issue.

    I know that it is hard for your husband, but if he is like my partner, he is glad to be there for you. Be kind to yourself and please stay intouch. I wish others would chime in on this . Breast cancer is hard enough to deal with but add that to being abused/rapped in the past puts it over the edge.

    Cheryl

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  • Catcando
    Catcando Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2012

    I am also a survivor of child abuse (sexual, physical and emotional).  My abuser was my father and he passed away spring 2011.  In November 2011 I got diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I am stage IIB.  I had a double masectomy.  I have been through chemo and radiation.  I have lymphedema. 

    My father after my childhood had continued to manipulate everyone around him.  I never told anyone except my mother.   My parents divorced.  In the years following my abuse, my father continued to threaten me with my own safety along with my mothers if I ever told.  After getting diagnosed with cancer, I decided I had to clear the stress from my life and tell my two younger brothers about my father.  He told my two younger brothers lies about me, and one brother thinks that I only told him about what happened to take away his good memory of my father.  Luckily the other brother remembered enough of our childhood that it answered a lot of questions for him. 

    I do think being sexually abused is linked to breast cancer.  If you google "sexual abuse and breast cancer" you will see a lot of studies that indicate a link. 

    I am for the first time seeing an excellent therapist.  She is an behavorial oncologist.  She has a doctor's degree in oncology and psychiatry.  She is really helping me. 

    I am troubled by how will I be able to respond sexually.   My breasts are the one area that wasn't molested and have been an area of arousal.  I think I turned off feeling between my legs as a coping mechanism.  I have the most wonderful husband in the world and I don't know how my body will be able to respond to foreplay when I have no feeling where my breast were or between my legs.  This scares me as I already feel not very attractive.  

    So I am right there with you.  This is truly horrible. 

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  • Cheryl417
    Cheryl417 Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2012

    Wow Catacndo, thanks so much for sharing your experience.  My father died 4 1/2 years ago and I was able to get some closer before he died. My mother to this day is in denile about what happened, even though my father admitted to it all. I hope that you post more often, I think that you have a lot of things that can help others. When did you find this site? As far as not feeling attractive I can totally relate, I am no where near ready to adress the sexuality stuff. I am only 9 weeks post op. Mine was the oppisite of yours. My chest was the focus to my father, then to others due to the size, and now to the cancer. Glad to know that you are in thearpy, I am sure that it will help. There is alot of support on this site as well and I hope that you hang around.

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  • Catcando
    Catcando Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2012

    Letting the secret out to my brothers relieved so much stress in my life.  My life is so much more complete now.  My one brother now understands why I didn't come around much, why I never took my father up on the offer of one of his apartments during college, why he was called to testify on what type of father my father was when his second wife divorced him, etc...  It answered so many questions for him.  I feel truly blessed to be rid of the load I was carrying. 

    You will find when you are diagnosed with cancer so many people will reach out to you, people come to you and tell you everything, and you become so much more at peace with yourself.  You have to, because you cannot survive any other way.  I feel I have broken free of so many chains.  I have always tried to be the super woman, but now I am learning to be super wise,  to use my energy to the best use.   I was always the perfect child, the perfect this and that, the dutiful one.  This is one of the results of the abuse.  I am so free now.  I am looking forward to the life ahead of me.  I have three children, the youngest is eight. 

    Will you be doing chemo and radiation? 

    If there is anything I can do to help you let me know. 

    Kindest regards.

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  • Suegardens
    Suegardens Member Posts: 3
    edited July 2014

    You are not alone. I am also a child abuse/breast cancer survivor.

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  • fd1
    fd1 Member Posts: 239
    edited July 2014

    Hi Cheryl - I am not a survivor of abuse but I know that there is a woman with a Youtube channel called Christina Newman.  She has spoken about being abused as a child and has stage 4 breast cancer.  You may want to reach out to her also.  All the best. 

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  • StacyBrian
    StacyBrian Member Posts: 22
    edited July 2014

    I, too, am a childhood molestation survivor *and* a survivor of a rape assault as an adult.  I am only four weeks into a dx of stage IIa infiltrating ductal carcinoma - 4 days post radical rt mastectomy.  I've had the first physical anxiety attacks since the rape - which was 4 years ago.  While the connection isn't too terribly direct for me between the abuse and the rape and this cancer, the feelings have been tied with those.  We are being violated against our will.  Again.  And this time, we don't even have someone to point the finger at as the source.  This source is much more unknowable and unconfrontable (if that is even a word) and so the feelings of "helpless" are coming in overwhelming waves.  My abuse and the rape are inherently different than my cancer story, but the result is the same.  After the rape, I went through a period of therapy for "Acute stress disorder."  When a trauma or crisis occurs, you go through a period of acute stress and then later, the "post-traumatic stress" emerges and it is VERY different from acute stress.  My recommendation - do some reading/talking/therapy on "acute stress."  The coping mechanisms that evolve to help PTS people function are not adequate or appropriate for this acute stress stage (speaking only of my own experiences, of course, I could not know where are at with your dx or your history).  Acute stress is often aggressive - more in the "fight" realm of the "fight, flight, or freeze" response spectrum.  Not always, but still, it is a very different animal and it has only helped me to approach it from that perspective.  Maybe it can help you guys, too?

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  • efletcher
    efletcher Member Posts: 12
    edited September 2016

    I too am a survivor of abuse for many years by my brother who to this day denies it ever happened. I went to a very unqualified individual for "counseling" which was a joke. I've never really dealt with what happened in a productive way other than attempting to bury it. After my breast cancer diagnosis a lot of the old feelings came back and I became quite depressed. I feel as though my whole life is a joke. I was put on Lexapro by my PCP, however it just added to my already dwindling sex drive and feelings of utter undesirability. i also began to gain weight which really helped the situation. I try to hide my self loathing with jokes and sarcasm, however that's becoming exhausting and can't possibly be healthy. I feel now that I have to seek help with a professional so that I can deal with the old issues as well as the new. I put on a happy face, while I'm crying on the inside.

    Cheryl417, you are most definitely not alone!

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