Very Scared

I am so sorry you had to join this club, but there will be great support for you here. What you are feeling is normal, although it doesn't feel that way to you right now. It is a terrifying place, but I can tell you from experience, that it gets better, esp. when you have a treatment plan in place and you know everything about your cancer. I cried and cried....even had a nervous breakdown, but ativan helped me through. I think I walked 10 miles a day...crying....lost 20 pounds because I hardly wanted to eat. I kept asking myself "what will I do, what can I do"...and my one piece of advice is DON'T DO THIS ALONE. Even if you need a volunteer breast cancer survivor, family, friend, counsellor.....just don't try to do this alone. I did and it was terrible. It made me worse than I needed to be. The second time around, my friend walked me right through with the surgery, in a large metro city, and during the tests etc. she made plans to go here, go there, see this, do that....kept me busy. A truer friend one could never find! I did much better. Give and accept hugs. They are healing. Right now, you are shell-shocked. But it will get better for you, one step at a time, and at your own pace. I didn't need chemo but I was afraid too. I was afraid of tamoxifen the first time around, didn't take it....got a new primary....so take your meds. Place some trust in your oncologists, don't fret over getting a second opinion if you feel you want one, become pro-active in your treatments...if you don't feel well on them, speak up. Speak up about your fears too. Know your cancer. Know that you too will be a survivor. Get exercise, eat a balanced diet, lose weight, meditate/pray/become involved with spiritual development whatever that may mean to you......keep your friends and family close. Other women you will come across in your journey who have b.c. will become like sisters to you. It takes time to adjust to your new "normal" but somehow you find something in the depth of your soul that moves you onwards and upwards.  Chemo before surgery is just as effective as after surgery too...so you may be over the first hurdle before your surgery. Wishing you the best outcome sweetie........and keep us all informed about your journey!!! (((((HUGS))))) PS...have everything written down for you from your doctors. They will give you copies. Our memories are not so good at this time.

You've probably met with your Dr already today, hope you took someone with you. I also use my iPod to record my appointments as well as taking notes, amazing what I hear the second time around.

I'm 4 weeks post op lumpectomy and starting chemo this week Thursday. I've found it's overwhelming to consider the whole picture, and have found it's better to focus on what's coming up next, and then ask myself "what do I have control over". Do not waste time and energy thinking about all the "what if" scenerios that could happen. If chemo is your next step then learn what you can about your chemo - the names of your meds, ask your Dr the most common side effects to expect, and then read up on what you can do to deal with them. Knowledge is power. 

If hair loss is expected, visit your local American Cancer Society office. I got a free wig and 3 free hats/caps from mine. 

I went shopping today and stocked up on easy to eat foods to have on hand, like yogurt, cottage cheese, pudding cups, applesauce cups.

I asked someone to tell me about the infusion center so I'd know what to expect, private rooms vs big open room, what do they provide for food and snacks that day and what should I bring along, can you bring someone with you, etc.

And continue to build your support system, like this forum. I also joined the Cancer Survivors Network (csn.org) and participate in their chat room and have found it a tremendous help. One of the members even sent me a private message the day I was to get my oncotype results, to tell me he was thinking of me and sending up prayers. It all helps.

Left foot forward, right foot forward, take a deep breath - You do what you need to do.

ocean.

I have lord of suggestions. Hopefully some if them will be helpful. 

I am 5.5 years out and you should know my life is pretty much like it was before. This too will pass. Things I did that helped me during chemo

Bought great wigs

Went to work every day I could

Kept a journal 

Taped all of my appointments and listened to all the optimism from my docs 

Wrote my fears here

Loved my little kids more 

Had lunch with different friends every time I had the wig styled. Still do this after my annual visit to onc

This year I had another unrelated (thyroid) situation and I invited friends and family to join a healing circle. It has really been great I wish I did it for my BC. I asked everyone to think/pray at the time of my thyroid surgery. I really felt their love and support 

I think people rise to the occasion ifyou tell them what you need. 

I kept the circle small with BC because I was so scared. What I realized was that I had so many people in my life who could help but I really just relied on h, my mom, a few friends.  Should have opened the circle. 

I focused entirely on all the good news my docs were giving me. Not on google or even anything on this site. It it's about you, your biology and what you and your docs agree on. 

Life comes back. I honestly barely remember chemo. I hated the hair thing but I only wore that wig for 7 months. That was the hardest part 

At every turn, be very kind to yourself. 

Hugs