whine for the day

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glennie19
glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398


Went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned. My old hygienist left (sad) and I have a new one. So I was updating her on my medical conditions. Of course she has an aunt with BC who had a MX and then had reconstruction and it CAME OUT SO WELL.  Why don't I want to do that?  

I'm tired of people asking that. I don't want it cuz I don't want to go thru a lot more surgery. I don't want to move my belly fat upstairs and I don't want some foreign body implanted in my chest.  End of story.

I don't know why soooo many people think that just cuz recon is there, that YOU MUST WANT IT!

 

Thanks for listening,, I just needed to vent.

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  • BikerLee
    BikerLee Member Posts: 355
    edited July 2014

    i feel really lucky because NO ONE has every said something like that to me....  at least, that i can remember.  they say all kinds of other stupid things, but no one has ever said something stupid about my decision to be flat.  

    i'd also be curious as to what she means by it all came out so well. is that what she WANTED to hear from her dear auntie?  or is that what her dear auntie shared with her? makes me doubt that her dear auntie shared / bared all, if you know what i mean...

    well - those are just the things that popped into my mind upon reading your post. i'm sorry you received this kind of judgement.  that makes her a jerk, if you ask me. she shouldn't have asked those questions that were beyond her "need to know" for your dental appointment - unless you invited further discussion, of course.  

    like you - i had zero interest in recon... and continue to have zero interest.  but - i will admit - i do miss my nipples.... 

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited July 2014


    Since she was new to me, I told her I had BC and I was wearing my sleeve so I mentioned the lymphedema too. She asked when I had surgery and did i have Recon,, and I said no.  Then she just started talking about her aunt.

      • I'm happy if that works for other people.  They should make the choice if that's what they want. But I don't want it. And I'm tired of people suggesting it!  (She's not the first, unfortunately)  I've have 3 surgeries in my life and each time there were unexpected problems,, that I wasn't supposed to get. Like I wasn't "supposed" to get LE cuz I'm thin and only had 6 nodes removed. So WHY would I want to have more surgery and run the risk of more problems?  I would be in the minority who gets an infection or something awful, cuz that's what happens to me. I'm still debating about having the dog ear removed. I really do want it, but I'm afraid it will somehow affect the LE and make it worse.
    • Thanks for listening to my rant. It is greatly appreciated !

    Not sure how i did those bullet points,,,,,,

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited July 2014

    Hi glennie! & BikerLee, I am another one who had zero interest in reconstructing and I am a Uni! I actually have a "D" cup puppy to deal with on the other side and it doesn't bother me at all.

    I was questioned, not really judged, by a few people when they knew I'd had a Mx and no recon. I have no problem with people asking me questions about my journey. 

    I did have a co worker who had a UMX and recon, who floored me, when she asked me what kind of recon I'd had, and I told her I wasn't having recon, she spat out "Oh my God, how can you bear to look at yourself!" 

    I told her that I am perfectly happy with the way I look, as is my Husband, who didn't want me to have more surgery, unless I wanted to do it.  My Husband had boosted my self confidence when he saw my scar for the first time and said "That will heal really well! and You don't need 2 boobs to be gorgeous!"  

    I have discovered lingerie, foobs and clothing that suits me and makes it easy for me to dress the way I want. I can actually snuggle closer to my Husband in bed and I can feel his heart beat through my unimpeded chest.

    I think the photos I have seen of women after a UMX or BMX have a real strength and power about them.

    I have absolutely no issue with anyone who wants to have recon, I am very glad the option is there for those who want it and I am always very excited for anyone who has it done and is really pleased with the results. 

    Whenever I have struck people who are very opinionated, but are only speaking from a friend or relatives experience, not their own, I gently tell them that it isn't something they could possibly have any idea about, unless they have had to evaluate and make the decision for themselves.

    No one truly knows what they would do, unless faced with the tough decision for themselves.

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited July 2014


    Good point!  They really don't know until they have walked in our shoes!  (flip-flops for me)

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited July 2014

    Ariom..."I can feel his heart beat through my unimpeded chest."  That's just...magnificent.  Sweet.  Lovely.  Thank you for the poetry.

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited July 2014

    Yes, so true Glennie!

    sbelizabeth! Thank you so much, but it is so true, it is easy for me to tuck in under his arm and get that much closer.

    My Husband is a quadriplegic from a hang gliding accident 37 years ago, he's paralyzed from the nipples down and has had to face so many challenges. I couldn't have asked for a stronger, more committed supporter through all this.  

  • SuC
    SuC Member Posts: 55
    edited July 2014

    I am so with you glennie19. I do not want any more pain/discomfort. I do not want lumps of silicon stuck under my muscles. I am happy as I am. My chest looks neat - better than my belly! I like my new shape. I am enjoying buying new clothes to suit my new shape and I suspect I am finding that easier than women with large breasts.

    Interestingly, I know 2 breast surgeons socially and both if them say they would probably not have reconstruction either

  • coraleliz
    coraleliz Member Posts: 1,523
    edited July 2014

    Unfortunately there are women out there that contemplate what type of surgery they will have if they are ever diagnosed with BC. I had friends & coworkers say things like "I've thought about this & I just love my breasts & would have to have them replaced". (Time for me to roll my eyes?) I guess maybe the pink ribbon people are to blame for this. I just stick my flat chest out further around these people. Being 3+ year out helps.

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