Starting Chemo in December 2013

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  • jbokland
    jbokland Member Posts: 890
    edited July 2014

    I'm doing extremely well!   Only 2 rads under my belt, but so far so good.  

    My body is sooo mushy.   I saw it in all the wedding  pics.  But shit...I have learned to be forgiving of myself.    Getting back to excercises!  

  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited July 2014

    I don't know what to think right now! I just feel so good! Can't really adequately express my feelings to everything that has happened these past 9 months but I'm feeling strong and like I'm back in control of my body. I want this feeling to continue. Bottom picture is me and one of my sisters, my son (in yellow) and nephew. Hope everyone is well!

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  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited July 2014

    catching up from my busy weekend. 

    after my busy weekend I think I am now rooted to my couch. Just don't want to get up. We also had many many young adult people staying with us to run the race (my kids' college friends) and I love the energy they bring but it was tiring. My family was here too. Everyone loved my new "hairdo". (It's so white it seems to glow Lol). My feet held out but ache a lot now..,but I ran (mostly) 3 miles so I have a reason today. 

    Now my nails are bugging me also. Thumb nails are gone at the tips and keep peeling. They got really indented at the beginning of chemo, now that's growing out and they are thin and soft and curl up at the very end. Hair growth, nail problems, I'm slow coming to them but at least I know what to expect from reading your posts.

    Michelle, hope you are healing well

  • J4DC
    J4DC Member Posts: 80
    edited July 2014

    djj, my feet are so achy these days. It is a lot worse than the chemo days, especially in the morning and after a long walk, errrr! 

    Jb, I would be offended too. As far as I am concerned, we are all cancer free after the battle!

  • J4DC
    J4DC Member Posts: 80
    edited July 2014

    great pictures, lisa!

  • Crazywabbit
    Crazywabbit Member Posts: 563
    edited July 2014

    Lisa, wow you ran 3 miles, I am lucky to be able to walk 2 miles now. Two is ok but pushing it if I go more. Hope you had cooler weather then here in PA, it was mid 80's and very humid. 

    Your feet deserve some special attention, anyone there good a foot massages?

  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited July 2014

    barb, good idea with the foot massage. Going for a massage actually on wed, but mainly for my L arm, shoulder, neck but maybe I'll ask her to do my feet as well. And I didn't run the whole 3 miles but walked and ran. Finished in 36.14, I usually do about 30 min but this was absolutely fine and I was so thrilled that I actually did it. We started at 7:15 this morning so it wasn't too bad

    J4dc, my feet hurt me a lot also when I first get up or after sitting for a while. My ankles and toes feel so stuff and sore but it gets better after I move around. Never had this before. Anyone have a good explanation of why? I don't think its neuropathy, feels more like a joint issue

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited July 2014

    michelle, glad your surgery went well! I hope you are healed soon.

     I had a friend ask me about being in remission too...I really didn't know how to respond. So, I said, yeah, I guess. As far as I'm concerned,  until someone tells me different, I am cancer FREE also! Remission sounds like it's just a matter of time ... UGH!

    I think the only SE I am having now is insomnia and then fatigue...but, it's improving.

    Everyone says my hair is "cute" and growing, but I am still anxious for it to get longer. I looked on some photos of the past few months and it really is coming along...hopefully by Christmas, I will have  a real hairstyle!:) I do remember how excited I was when I first felt some stubble and had to look closely in the light to see the faint little bristles popping out! I saw one of my fellow Realtor associates at a class the other day and she said "did you cut your hair?"  No. Oh, was it chemo? Oh, was it breast cancer? Gheez...seriously, does she really think I would go from 12" of hair to 1" on purpose? No offense to anyone that has, but anyone that knows me, would not even ask.

    And Life goes on...

    ((HUGS))

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited July 2014

    way to go Lisa! You look great:). 

  • RobinLK
    RobinLK Member Posts: 840
    edited July 2014

    Awesome pictures! Congrats on the run Lisa!

    I have my collage picture...I found my little victory to celebrate...I can now use my pool! 

    image

  • RHGSR
    RHGSR Member Posts: 774
    edited July 2014

    Michelle- so happy all went well!! 

    Jodi- glad you got to sleep in your own bed. Nothing like being home. 

    Lisa- love your "breast cancer can't catch me ". Great pictures!!

    Robin- love your collage picture. You look great. 

    DJJ- my legs are still weak. Have to be careful on stairs and when I get up from sitting. Still shakey. 

    Going to see MO tomorrow. Supposed to start Lupron and Aromasine. Seeing PS on Thursday for pre-op for a small phase II. Phase III will be this fall. 

    Started PT again 2 weeks ago.  Started walking last week. This is the best I've felt since this started. Not 100% but I can tell I'm on an upswing. 

    Now if I can just reconcile my fear of this mess coming back.  I think I'm going to try a support group this month. 

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited July 2014

    Robin, sweet! You go girl!!! Love the pups! When I first glanced at the picture, they looked like polar bears. I'm thinking...OMG, she's swimming with bears??? That's an unusual thing to have on your bucket list! LOL. 

    I read an article on BCO that made me feel better about my 5mm clear margins...it said it doesn't matter the distance of the clear margins. If they are clear, they are clear! Who knows if it's true, but I will take it:).

    ((HUGS))

  • jbokland
    jbokland Member Posts: 890
    edited July 2014

    Everyone looks amazing!!!

    My heels hurt when I first get up...tender and I walk funny, but it goes away after a few minutes.  Weird!  

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited July 2014

    Good luck with your Dr visits Holli

  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited July 2014

    you girls sound great, keepthefaith, robin, holli! Lots of positivity here! Love it.

    Robin, love the dogs. You look so happy there in your pool, they must be so happy to have you back in there with them.

    You girls make me think...I love it. I'm going to ask about the cancer free thing also. I'm thinking ITS GONE!

  • missy6758703
    missy6758703 Member Posts: 218
    edited July 2014

    Good Evening to all! Me and my butt are still getting along ok......I just ate for the first time since last Wednesday. I had put myself on a liquid diet and have officially lost 10 pounds but tonight i was hungry!  Probably didn't make the best choice.....a Filet o Fish from McDonalds but damn, it was good! If that doesn't make me poop, nothing will! haha! I am without pain.....I keep waiting for it to happen but so far, nothing.  Could be the Dilaudid pain pills, but what the hell, i don't care....as long as i'm not in pain i will keep taking those suckers!

    I'm with the rest of you............Girls, we are CANCER FREE! We can't just live our lives waiting for it to come back.  We just need to LIVE and celebrate each day.  Here is the newest Victory collage...i love it, and love you all!

    image

  • Jodi040812
    Jodi040812 Member Posts: 383
    edited July 2014

    Lisa-  you are my role model!  I have to start running as soon as I get home!  Going to set some 5k race goals for me.  I have never done that, but only because I haven't wanted to yet.  My body can handle it and now I must and surprisingly- I want too;). 

    Robin- I think your dogs have been eating sympathy pains for you lol.  Those are the biggest labs I have ever seen unless they are not labs then maybe that is usual.  Seriously they made me laugh!  Love the pic and the dogs.  We are totally pet people at my house too!!  So cute!

    Headaches-  anyone?  Is this stress or rads SE?  It is in between my eyes, so not worrying about mets but I do not like this:(. Waaaa right!  Take two Advil and suck it up I know I know!  Just wondering if anyone else has this.  I did drive 6 hours back to Texas, so maybe that is it! Or my damn period!  Really?!  Why!!!!!!  I was hoping that would be gone forever, but nope I have been like clockwork since May:(. 

  • jbokland
    jbokland Member Posts: 890
    edited July 2014

    Missy-  you are too funny!    

    Best wishes  for pooping!!

  • RobinLK
    RobinLK Member Posts: 840
    edited July 2014

    Jodi - yes they are English labs, they have a blocky build. Lucy is really big for a female, but at her target weight. Spirit is the shorter of the two and still has some weight to lose.

    That picture is not very flattering for Spirit. She looks obese and really isn't. Here is a better picture I just took. 

    image

  • Jodi040812
    Jodi040812 Member Posts: 383
    edited July 2014

    Robin-  she looks totally different.  Shame on you for having an unflattering photo of a lady!  They are beautiful labs!!  They look white which is a big deal you know for yellow labs!  

    I had a lab years ago, and he was notorious for clearing a coffee table with one swipe of his tail lol!  He was a great dog!  

    My head still hurts but about to just call it a night and go to sleep.  

  • kjfromca
    kjfromca Member Posts: 283
    edited July 2014

    Holli - Hoping your doctors appts. go well this week.

    Robin - Love the pic. We have a black lab.  He is like a bear, he will get into ice chests, any food in boxes, anything.  My DH's friend gave him a box of nutri system food..... long story.  Anyway.... someone must of left the garage door open last night, because Mr. Fatty in my back yard got into it AGAIN.

    Michelle, glad your surgery went well.   I am heading to SD on Thurs.  I will have my daughter take my victory shot there.  Looking forward to visiting my family.   The Victory Collage warms my heart.  What an awesome group of ladies we all are.

    Jodi - I started getting migraine's, the bright spots in my eyesight, at the end of rads.  This went away as soon as I stopped rads.  I think it's fatigue.  You should mention it to your RO. 

    Well, I need to get my walk in, it's supposed to be 104 here today.  Have a great day ladies.

    Kim

  • Lisaj514
    Lisaj514 Member Posts: 719
    edited July 2014

    robin, that picture of spirit looks like a human with such expression in her eyes. She's telling you she loves you and thanking you for being able to swim with her again

    Jodi, I really don't love running and to be honest only do it to prep for this race. It does feel great when finishing a race, especially for me this year. Of course I cried after "crossing the finish line". That phrase had so much more meaning to me this year. On 7/25 I will be crossing a finish line again, when I walk out of that radiation room!

    I brought my race pictures to radiation today and showed the rad therapists and the RO. they all loved them and they made me feel so good. They made me feel like it was such a big deal (which it was) but the bigger challenge is what I've (we've) gone through these past 8 months. I was confident... if I could go through 2 surgeries, chemotherapy and now radiation I could definitely run and walk 3 miles. I prepared for it and felt ready. 

  • oranje_mama
    oranje_mama Member Posts: 260
    edited July 2014

    Lisa, loved your pix & your motto.  BC can't catch you!

    Robin, great to be in the pool!

    Jodi & Kim, I've suffered from migraines for a long time (since I was 13).  For me, they are triggered by lack of sleep, stress, plus "something else" (like allergies or menstrual cycle/hormones).  When I get a constellation of all three, boom! a migraine.  If you continue to get migraines, see a doc.  There are wonderful drugs that can help (Relpax has helped me).  But, back in the dark days when there weren't drugs available, these are my "home remedies" for migraine:

    - lie on your back (no pillow) in a completely dark, quiet room

    - try caffeine+sugar (regular Coke or sweetened hot tea used to work for me)

    - alternate hot/cold compresses on your face

    - hot as you can stand it shower (aim the shower spray right into your face/head where it hurts)

    I actually haven't had a migraine since BC (is this a silver lining of chemo-pause?!!)

    I've been very emotional weepy lately.  I'm also really stressed, so despite being truly fatigued, I can't sleep.  I feel like I just can't meet my or others' expectations right now.  I look healthy (which is a good thing) - and I even feel healthy (other than being tired) (which is a better thing) - but I'm really not able to do my usual working mom balancing act like usual.  Lots of things falling through the cracks.  But since I look good, I think there is this assumption (subconscious) that I can do everything like normal.  Last week virtually my entire department was off on vacation (not coordinated . . .) and I was left juggling a crazy amount of balls.  It's up to me to raise my hand and say I can't do something, but that's really hard for me to do.  I was supposed to deliver a presentation to about 30/40 people this Wed. and didn't have any time to prepare last week.  Thought (irrationally) that somehow I could prepare over the weekend - which turned out to be insane (a swim meet, a dive meet, two bbqs (one potluck), and not to mention temps in the mid-90s all weekend . . .).  After not sleeping last night, I held up my hand this morning and asked someone to stand in for me for the presentation.  Something has to give somewhere.

    My older daughter turns 10 on Sunday . . . Saturday night we'll have 6 girls for the first sleepover party we've hosted.  After making it through that . . . and Monday's last rad!  . . . I will be ready for a vacation!! 

  • count_it_all_joy
    count_it_all_joy Member Posts: 130
    edited July 2014

    Hi orangemama - I relate to everything you just said about feeling/looking pretty normal, and yet just can't meet yours or others' expectations.  I've dropped a bunch of things lately, I know I've hurt some people's feelings by not being more available, and some important things aren't getting done.  I don't sleep well at all, and that means I sleep in if I've been up a lot, and that throws off our whole day…  ;P   I just had a call from my MO nurse that I missed a teaching appt with her this morning about my tamoxifan that I start in a couple weeks.  Here I was feeling good about cleaning off the front porch and having a good morning with my girls… the appt never even crossed my mind.  Trying to stick to my lists, but I feel like my "busy" threshold is SO much lower than it used to be.  I get anxious much quicker than I used to if there is too much on my plate.  Makes me wonder what things will look like as I start home schooling the girls again next month…   are we ALL in this boat, I wonder??

  • RHGSR
    RHGSR Member Posts: 774
    edited July 2014

    count it all - I have similar issues. I was never really good at change, but since all of this... If something changes (more so regarding my treatments) I get extremely anxious and a little depressed. 

    I've let a lot of things go for next fall - no part time job, taking off a semester from college, probably going to take 1/2-1 year off from violin lessons for the girls. Going to just try to focus on getting caught up on homeschool where we got a little behind from this year and just try to enjoy my family at a slower pace. 

    Stressed from MO visit today. They hadn't gotten insurance approval for Lupron yet. Hoping they will get it this afternoon and I can go get it tomorrow. 

  • RHGSR
    RHGSR Member Posts: 774
    edited July 2014

    I also still have some cognitive issues from chemo - trouble finding words for things, trouble focusing, etc. MO said he could prescribe Ritalin for short term, but I really don't want to take anymore pills. 

  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited July 2014

    Holli, I hope your insurance co comes through!

    oranje, good for you for designating. 

    I have been running at a much slower pace also...and have even made a mistake on a contract, which I can't remember ever doing before. Things just don't seem to come together as quickly when I am trying to figure things out; loss of words has improved though. I hope all of this subsides for all of us soon! So frustrating.  Who would've thought we would have to deal with all of this, too?

    We have been so far. I know we can get to the other side! 

    ((HUGS))

  • DJJ
    DJJ Member Posts: 229
    edited July 2014

    Oranjemama, me too.  My new job is so busy.  The guy before me was a slacker so when they have someone willing to work they just pile it on.  Because I look normal they of course assume I'm ok.  They know I'm in radiation but don't know that I'm tired from it and I still haven't gotten all my energy back from chemo.  So pile more on!!! Since I'm still new I don't have the guts to say "SLOW DOWN PEOPLE".  Jeeez even if I was 100% its too much for one person.  I'm getting two new people for my team tomorrow.  Delegate, delegate, delegate.  That's my plan. 

    ONE MORE RADIATION TO GOOOOO!!!!!!

  • Crazywabbit
    Crazywabbit Member Posts: 563
    edited July 2014

    I don't know how you gals with children do it all. I am exhausted and I only have a husband at home, granted he is disabled but I also have an aid 5 hours a day to help him.  She is a godsend. I come home to a tidy house, and on Mondays dinner cooked.   I am so spoiled since she does all the laundry and even changes the beds.  Worth every penny I pay her.  Using my husbands IRA money for his care, would like to keep him home as long as possible,  I will need to increase the hours of help in the future.  I could not care for him as well as work and keep same. 

    DJJ early congratulations.  I have just 2 more,  so far no problems after the 3 boost.   My collar bone area is another story, very red and sore. See photo,The brown on my neck is freckled skin 

    I go at 3 PM daily except Mondays in the morning. I asked if there were any openings on Wed AM since I will off work that day and I get my LAST one at 8:15 instead of 3 PM. I am going to lunch Wed. with a friend and now we can really celebrate THE END

    Finished baking an almond pound cake and a blueberry banana bread to take in on Wed. 

    image

  • kjfromca
    kjfromca Member Posts: 283
    edited July 2014

    Good morning ladies - 

    Sleep - Better this week than the others.  I have to listen to meditation cds for my class and they knock me out.  The lady's voice is so soothing, I fall asleep within a few minutes.  My problem is staying asleep.   I did change my Tamoxifen to mornings, I think this is helping a little.

    Stress - Seems like we all are feeling the same with that.  Everything is magnified, or maybe I just notice it more. 

    Memory - My memory wasn't the best before chemo, chemo didn't help it any.  I find that my spelling is bad.... simple words I can't remember how to spell.... frustrating.

    DJJ - Hoping your new team members are hard workers.  Glad you're finishing rads today, it's so nice to get that time back.

    Oranje - Your schedule is crazy with work and kids.... You need a personal assistant. I have hired my niece over the years to help me both at home and at my office.   What a help she has been and still is.  

    Holli - I hope your insurance ok's your new meds today.  Is Lupron to keep your estrogen levels low?

    Holli & Count_it_all -  I have attempted at times to homeschool a couple of my kids, I just didn't have what jt takes... I hope that this coming school year is productive and rewarding for you both. 

    Barbara - If I remember correctly, the black skin should peel off pretty soon after rads stop.  I have a light tan area still, but it just looks like I got sun.   I am sorry that you are having to use your husband's IRA money for care, but glad you have the ability to do that and that you're getting some much needed help.

    Kim

     

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