Starting Chemo in April 2014

football, ask your onc for another pain pill.  I am on norco.  I spoke to someone at the ACS, an onco nurse.

She told me not to be afraid of the pain pills, I just have to get through this.  She said to ask for morphine if I needed it.

I just got back from my internist and he gave me an ekg and an Holter monitor.  I'm really annoyed.  Fifteen minutes and he's gone.  I've got a complicated case here and 15 minutes is not a long time.  Are there any caring drs out there anymore?

Cold...thanks for posting "Tight Pants," it made me smile  And yes, I'm also wearing very tight pants, and refuse to buy a bigger size. The thing is, I haven't gained weight, according to the scale.  But my puffiness is unmistakable...I can't even wear my wedding rings.  I feel very pudgy!

Linda...I'm sorry you're feeling down.  I am getting more and more emotional myself.  I feel like I should be happy that I'm almost done with chemo, but for some reason I'm not.  I pray I can get the old me back when my treatment concludes.  But part of me wonders if worrying about mets or recurrence will keep me pinned down forever.

I received disappointing news this afternoon. My MO feels I should keep my port in for the duration of radiation.  What? Why? I spoke to his nurse, and she said it is his preference, so I'll need to talk with him about it on Wednesday when I see him. My port is uncomfortable and I was SO looking forward to getting rid of it sooner rather than later.  If I can't get him on board with my thinking, I'll have the darn thing until at least the end of September Maybe it's not a big deal, but I feel removing it is a milestone, a sign this ordeal is ending.  Keeping it for 2-3 months longer than I anticipated makes me sad. 

I'm getting frustrated also with all the medical bills pouring in lately.  Our insurance paid 80% of all my bills at first, but now pay 100% due to meeting our out-of-pocket max.  But we are still living under a mountain of medical bills.  We pay about $600-900 each month to doctor bills, and we haven't even made a dent in the stack...a few providers are threatening collections, even though we have been sending monthly payments. Cancer takes so much from us physically and emotionally, and now financially we are drained.  We are living paycheck to paycheck, cutting back on everything (which is so hard with three kids at home), and it's still not enough. I'm so worried our credit will be ruined...another gift from cancer. 

Ugh. Sorry to be a downer.  But thank you for "listening." Hope you're all having a good day.

xoxo

My internist said today "If you're getting side effects you should stop chemo."  HUH?

I felt like telling him to look at this site.  What could he have meant?  Are there people on chemo WITHOUT side effects?

Omg timbuktu - that is just crazy about what the internist said - ummmm - is there any chemo without SE's??  I don't think so - maybe some are minimal but I mean it is poison for crying out loud!!  Holy Moly... Some doctors just see patients as numbers - how many in and out in a day - I don't think they started like that but I have had too many like that in my life.  It is so disappointing.  I don't take that treatment anymore - I now speak up when I don't think they are giving me the appropriate time or attention.  Hope your heart is ok - I had to wear one of those monitors for a week a couple of years ago - drove me crazy.

sharon - unbelievable and how rude - I really can't complain about my MO or his PA - they are actually both good about listening and spending a good amount of time with me.... and I LOVE my plastic surgeon - seeing him is like seeing a friend and I do feel he cares. 

thanks for all your support - just such an emotional and physically draining journey we are on.  

the question about doctors who care I can share my onc with all of you. LOVE him. He listens, cares and is just a wonderful person. When I sent an email about a lump at 11:30 pm I had an appointment the next am at 10am and I was 5 years out from my last diagnosis. It makes me sad to hear when people have problems with their oncologist. . 

Day after taxol #5 and I am surviving. My counts are starting to rebound a little which is a good sign. My one big toe is a bit of a mess still but I am feeling okay so far this week. I know that Thursday evening into Friday will be the worst for my neuropathy and my hips will hurt a little bit but by Saturday I will feel better and Sunday I will over do it. Lol.  This Tuesday will put me at the half way mark for taxol and 4 weeks out from my rads simulation which I am not happy about still. I need to make peace with the permanent blue tattoos that they will be using. . I don't want blue dots all over my body. Then I get a whole two week break after chemo and then rads start all while still getting herceptin and perjeta. Let me control my excitement. NOT!!

Swissmiss - My hair started to grow in shortly after I finished the A/C.  But after Taxol #4 it started falling out again.  What I have is very fine and fuzzy.  The onc nurses said it will likely all disappear again.  I am on weekly taxol, 7 more to go.  

I wouldn't trade my MO for anyone.  He always listens, asks me if I have any problems or concerns and I never wait more than 10-15 minutes for my appointment.  But my BS is my favorite doc.  He is simply the most compassionate dr I have EVER dealt with.

My MO wants me to keep my port also.  I'm not too worried about it.  I've gotten used to it and it no longer bothers me.  I developed phlebitis in my arm from just ONE infusion, so I need to use a port.  Don't really want to get it out and maybe go through getting a new one put in.

Hugs,  lilyrose

To all struggling with finances...

I found online the company who makes neulasta and they offer a co pay assistance.. Also contact Susan G Komen foundation they have resources for co pay help. 

I am off to round 3 of AC. Sigh! Weary already of all this! Anyway, I hope you all have light SE days. 

It sounds like a lot of us are getting down as chemo takes its toll, even as the last infusion gets closer. I thought I would feel pretty good that I only have 2 more rounds of TCH (I'm not counting the year of Herceptin, which should be a piece of cake). But these days my good days don't feel as good. This is supposed to be a good week, but every day this week I've come home from work and just plopped on the couch. I'm not going out to eat or going for walks. (Ok, the hot, muggy DC weather might have something to do with that.) 

Hugs to everyone suffering intense SEs right now. I know it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train heading right at you, but there is an end to the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet.

brigadoon- I guess I am upset because they use a bright blue for ink. 

I will have them where I am not clothed. . My friend went to the same rad doctor who is great but they look like huge pen marks. 

Jaimieh - Well, that does suck.  How much would it cost to have them removed?  That might even be covered by your insurance as a part of reconstruction.  Since you are Stage 1 it would be nice if you could come out of this with this whole ordeal not being a blip on the screen of your life.

lilyrose - I haven't cut my hair yet because I still have even coverage but it is thin and I have to fix it just right to have coverage.  I even have to wear a turban in the kitchen to keep my hair from falling into the food I am preparing. 

I am reminded of the Dr. Seuss - "Oh the places you'll go."  I have been places I never thought I would go but It is a hell of a ride. Good and bad.

Jaimie - maybe you can get some of those false moles that people use to wear and turn them into beauty moles when you have dresses that expose them.  Robert Redford has several bumps on his face but he is still handsome.  I had a mole on my neck that I had removed  in my search for perfection when I was young.  I have always been sorry I did that.  It was very sweet.  You can probably get some stage makeup or there are several make-ups for scars, etc. and you will never see them. 

I suppose they want them to stay in case you need rads again (Never I hope)  It would help them to know the exact location of the prior rads.

Sharon - Those are my favorite pants!  I have had them for years...used to wear them in the olden days when I had my period.    Always called them my comfy pants.  Since chemo I bought several new pair and now wear them daily,  I love my jeans...but can't wear them as my waist has expanded beyond the comfort zone.  I hope when I'm feeling better I can walk off this new belly!

Brigadoon - I love living out in the country.  I live on a dirt road and I do have neighbors, but we all live on several acres so we aren't that close to them.  I walk my dogs all the time in my nightgown!  lol  I used to see older women do that and thought they were crazy old ladies!  Now I am one of them.  Not giving a crap about what people think of me came with age.    Good idea about the turban!

Longisland - The steroids are a pain.  I was up half the night because of them and restless leg syndrome.  My MO gave me Ativan to take but I am saving that.  I don't want to use it as a crutch unless I really need it.

Wishing you all a better day than yesterday!  Hugs, lilyrose

Timbuktu- There are numerous people on the boards who have had hair growth AND are NED.  Don't worry about that one.