Chemo in May 2014

After this I start Taxol. I heard it is much more tolerable then the A/C, but I was reading the paperwork and one of the common side effects is queasiness - mild to moderate. UGH.

I had a small nodule on my lung when we did my pet scan and my doc said it is most likely scar tissue from something I was exposed to. They couldn't even measure it it was so small. But she wants to do another scan, now I'm scared again. WHy can't I just go through this and get on with my life? Shit. 

Had my 3rd infusion today. Reading this board and April board has me quiet concerned about how bad this might be.  Except for the rash, that I most likely let go too far and ended up in the hospital, I think most SE's have been mild. So I am scared about this round. And I'm already feeling SE's today that I didn't have last time - swollen knees, headache and nausea when I was finishing up Cytoxan, sore throat, extreme fatigue in leg muscles and frequent hot flashes . Here's my #3 photo.

As bad as it is to be battling cancer, I can't imagine my baby having cancer.  This is a Facebook page of a friend of a friend whose baby is starting chemo tomorrow!  He's 6 months old! Can you imagine?  If you're on FB look up the group created for him - Prayers for Pierce.

Glutamine helps keep neuropathy away during Taxol.  I iced my hands and feet during Taxol infusions.  It really works.  You can read about it on my blog - all the women I know who did it had great results.

Anyone have any favorite distractions during the crappy days? I watch hours of HGTV, the DH is in  trouble when I'm feeling better cause I'll want everything remodeled, lol. I also like playing words with friends and cookie jam.  I bought an embroidery kit, but didn't start it yet. Looks like it would require too much thought. I prefer mindless distractions.

debiann - I too watch HGTV non stop! Not until the afternoon though after Today show, Dr Oz, and The Chew. I play Farm Heros and Candy Crush. 

Missyjean - I'm still numb under that arm pit area, so I'm hoping the "tattooing" doesn't hurt too much. Is this a permanent tatoo? I would think not.

I liked the first season of Orange but haven't been able to watch the second season. I don't really want to "watch" lesbian sex.

I liked watching Merlin on Netflix and my 11 year old could watch it with me. Although I found that toward the end of the series it got more dark than the chemo mood could handle.  It probably wouldn't have bothered me during no chemo times. Interesting how that works. Wee don't have cable so I don't watch HGTV or Foodnetwrk.  Although I could probably watch online but they'd just add to a honey do list (remodel and make me this food, lol).

Baby Pierce is getting his port in as I type this :-(  I just can't stop thinking about this poor baby (6 mos) getting chemo later tonight or what his parents might be experiencing. Thinking about him though has helped me not think about my own woes.

The tattoos are permanent but they are very tiny. Could pass for a mole. I got three, one on each side of my chest and one marking my clavicle. 

Yikes, no power & water till Saturday! A couple years ago we lost ours for a week due to a bad storm. We live in a wooded area. I went home to stay with my mother, left the DH home to care for the animals. I rationalized that he could pee in the woods easier than me, lol. Do you have a generator? We have a small one. Can't light up the whole house, but kept the food from spoiling.  Good luck!

I had round 4 today. All went well for me, but two people in the infusion room had reactions to the chemo. The woman in the chair next to me reacted to taxol, and it was her 7th round! The nurse told me you can react to any of the drugs at anytime. Can't wait till this is over!

Can't imagine what that poor baby will go through. I did hear that children tolerate chemo better than adults. Hope this is true for him.

debiann I'm the same way. Office ordered pizza today and in the front of my tongue I could taste it was pizza, in the back there was nothing. T- minus 14 hours to my last A/C treatment. Let the lousy weekend begin!

Almost time for bed so I'd like to take this moment to vent:

I'm tired of my armpit being numb

I'm tired of wearing a wig (it's only been like 3 weeks) but I'm in sales so, yeah, I kind of have to

I'm tired looking at my almost bald head - I now actually look like a cancer patient

I'm tired of chemo and the SE's

I'm tired of looking at my foob, I want to reconstruct!

I want to taste and eat whatever I want again

I'm tired of the pity looks from co workers and family/friends

I'm tired of hearing my sister say "Even when something bad happens to you something good happens to you" (Re: two new boobs) Really???

I just want to be ME again ugh! 

There...done. Night night!

Missyjean - please tell me what the "punctured expander incident" was?  You are scaring me.

I met with my RO last week for planning.  She said they will use Sharpie to make my marks...not tattoos.  That is why we will do the SIM the week prior to starting radiation.  So the marks don't get washed away.  Then they will remark them with Sharpie each week during my treatments.  The marks will not be permanent.

Good thoughts to everyone!

Of the 21 day cycle, I *might* be able to work 10, as long as it wasn't very strenuous and didn't require critical decision-making skills. Or mental word retrieval cuz that is SHOT!!! I just want to know if it's going to come back. 

I have decided I am going to skip radiation and just have a DMX. My plastic surgeon does breast reconstruction. I am going to meet with her and see what she has to say. My husband will be coming along with me. Scared but glad I've made a decision. 

So happy someone can make a decision, I'm still struggling with that daily. Thoight I had settled on UMX with DEIP recon, but last night I started to get so tired of being sick, I went back to just getting the lump redo I need and rads cause it would be the fastest way through this. I'm sure I'll change my mind again a million times. What made ypu choose, surgery, reducing recurrance or avoiding radiation? I fear the se's of rads.

I have been trying to work through chemo.  I have an office job and the first two cycles I would have treatment on a Tuesday - could work wed and thurs - then I would be off until the next Tuesday.  Then I could work straight through until the next treatment.  Some days it was only half a day though.  But since treatment #3 I have hardly been able to work.  In fact since #4 on Jul 1st I have only made it to work for 1/2 a day!!  I don't what I will do for the last two - my guess is not really make it to work at all.  I really don't know how anyone could work through this unless they are really lucky with the SE's.  Right now I just don't have any energy at all.  I stand for more than 5 minutes and I am exhausted.  I dread going to the grocery store and thinking about walking the aisles.  

Lespring - congrats on making your decision - it is hard to make.

Debiann - you will come to one soon.  You just have to search your soul to see what sounds "right" to you.  Once you do that then you know that you will never look back as it is the one that is right for you.   We are all so different it what is important and what directs our actions and how we recover from things.  The surgery (BMX) and the fills and stuff since has been the easiest part of my journey so far but for others not so much.   Since I had surgery before treatment I really didn't have much time to think about it - maybe a week - but no regrets.