Starting Chemo in April 2014

Timbuktu I hear u sister!  It was an hour of hell before done movement. My onc gave me this liquid called lactulose. Just took some. I hate taking anything for tummy issues because with me it most often goes straight to the big "d". Yahoo!

Then I've been weepy and crying today because all of this pain. Just a down day for me. Hope to bounce back soon!

I'm afraid to eat because if I do then I'll probably have to poop and will be right back to where I started!!

Ugh!!

I agree it is amazing how your physical condition so controls your mental place.  When i don't feel good everything is horrible!!  I hate the C days - they are the worst.  I am mentally in a better place today but Wednesday through yesterday I was in the midst of a dementors convention!!  ughh.   One day at a time - left foot, right foot,.... 

hip pain- glad to hear you guys have it too. I have been obsessing there is a bone met there. The joys of cancer paranoia! Today some nifty blisters appeared in the bottoms of my feet. And there is a hard nodule on my shoulder right off the collarbone. I think I have a great list for the onc visit Tuesday. If anyone has any questions they'd like me to add feel free! It's gonna be a long visit! Happy weekend to all.

footballnut- I'll ask about your dark nail line! Why not?

brigadoon- thank you- it is a relief to know that people here understand the fear of every lump and bump we encounter. This is our new normal. Hoping yor bone pain eases up and you can get some rest!

Sandra

mrcaruso - while you are asking questions ask your mo why I have a dull mid back ache all the time now LOL. 

I just came back from having dinner - actually had an appetite and taste buds so I took advantage and had hubby take me out.  Went to a mexican joint and I had their steak that has a nice ranchero sauce on it - not too spicy but a very nice flavor and I ate the refried beans and left he rice.  I was so good as I avoided the chips and torilla's cause of my diabetes - then the waiter decided to be "nice" and brought a complimentary desert.   Sorry but my will power went out the window.  I will pay for this with my counts tonight and in the morning.  But at least I got a little enjoyment out of the high numbers - unlike when I am good and just take my steroids.  

Oh well, hope you are starting to feel better footballnut and mrcaruso.  And here is hoping for a week of minimal SE's for all of us going through treatment!

Footballnut-  Sorry you are having so much tummy trouble.  But I'm right there with you.  I was thinking how much easier the Taxol has been...ha!  Not this time.  My digestive system is so messed up.  Third day after infusion is always rough but this takes the cake.  I feel like I should just set up housekeeping in the bathroom!

Cold - It sure is hard to remember that these stupid drugs are actually helping us!  I wouldn't wish the way I'm feeling on my worst enemy!

To everyone else - I'm having trouble keeping up with all the posts!  You guys are amazing.  I am trying to read and catch up...but I'm having trouble keeping everything straight in my head.  Right now I guess fatigue has taken over.  I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Wishing you all an SE free week,  hugs, lilyrose

SharonDe - Too funny.  Gotta laugh at life's little jokes.

SharonDe, oh no!  That is bad timing.  I hope the plumber can get out there tomorrow!  

Linda505, I would not have had willpower with a free dessert, either!  I love Mexican food too -- glad you enjoyed it!

ColdinCanada, my "babies" are 7, 6, and 4.  And I am 47, an old mom.  My oldest is my bio child and my younger two were adopted.  I hear you on feeling like a pill-popper -- I have one of those little day-of-the-week pill organizers that is mostly for my OTC medication.   Thanks for your encouraging words - I am glad the light is coming for you soon with the end of chemo!  I hope you will share what your New Normal is like!

Brigadoon, I really like the quote in your siggy (is that what they are called on these boards?)  I'm sorry for the bone pain and hope it eases soon.

MsCaruso, I am also an obsessor.  I'm glad you will be getting all your questions answered soon.

Footballnut, so sorry to hear about the digestive problems!  I have been constipated since starting chemo and if it weren't for stool softeners, I would never go.   

Mompr, Are you taking dexomethosone (sp?)?  The nurse practitioner in my MO's office said that could cause spaciness and she had me cut the dose for my 2nd cycle since my nausea wasn't too bad.  You look beautiful, and so does your daughter!

Jbokland and MommyQ, thanks for the good beach wishes.  I think it was healing since now I am back home with a good energy level.

Wendy, glad to see you on this board!  Embarrassing confession - when I was first looking for a monthly chemo group to join, I could not find any except for the April group.  Now I see there are several. Chemo brain has definitely affected me.

Clarrn, what a beautiful beach!  

Timbuktu and Lilyrose, sorry to hear you have had digestive problems too.  

We came back from the beach today.  I was happy to be home and had decent energy, enough to get a lot of laundry done and things unpacked.  I also had a good appetite this evening, which is unusual -- I have had very little appetite since starting chemo.  I do seem to be losing my eyelashes.  The ones on the bottom started falling out first.  The hair on my head has not all fallen out - I still have probably 10-20% of it as stubble.  So maybe I will keep a few eyelashes too?  Hard to say!

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend as much as possible.

Mompv, Your photos are just bursting with life, and so very positive! Thank you for sharing!! 

SharonDe, My sympathies to you in your plumbing trials, what a crummy time for this to happen! Yikes! Otherwise, how is your energy post-chemo? I was given a pass, as they called it, and no chemo last week or this. I am already beginning to feel more normal, its amazing. It will be tough going back to the weekly routine. Oh well, I will enjoy it while I can. How,s the hair coming along?

MsCaruso, My oncologist is super cautious about neuropathy signs, like burning sensations on soles of feet, numbness or peeling or blistering. I have two weeks off of chemo just because I STARTED to get the burning feeling and a little more numbness in patches. It might be good to call your onc. office about those blisters. Let us know what you hear about that.

Brigadoon, Are you better today? I get confused about the etiology of symptoms, too, and when you throw in mets, well, that really adds to the full catastrophe. With a few extra days without chemo this week, I am more aware of its effect on my sense of well being. Starting to feel moments of the old normal! Wow! 

Limda 505, That term, dementors' convention is so descriptive! Its taken me decades to understand how to defer major decisions when I am in a bad mood, how not to take anything too seriously til I feel better, etc, etc. Hoping things continue to feel easier this week for you. 

FBN, Wishing that the good fairy of healthy tummies visits you today and relieves you of any discomfort. We all need your cute self in top form, leading the inspiration brigade!

Hugs to all, Mame

good morning ladies

Thank you for your kind words and support. I couldn't stop crying yesterday and feel like doing the same today. The pain is debilitating!  I can't take it!  I have percocets but am afraid to take them. I've been taking Tylenol which has been helping. Just can't see how this is all good for me. I've never been in so much pain in my life. 

My tongue feels swollen and burns. No mouth sores. Hubby has been giving me chopped ice which helps

I feel like passing out - feels like I have sweats. Not hungry but have to eat. The thought of food makes me want to gag. I just ate cream of wheat. Tastes like cardboard

My stomach is moving so I don't know if I should keep taking my meds. Ugh

My eyes hurt, my ears hurt, my cheeks hurt, my port hurts, my chest hurts, my back hurts, my knees, my hips!!  Then I start crying again!  My poor hubby!  He has been fantastic

I don't know how I can keep going like this if it gets worse tomorrow when hubby is at work and I'm alone!!

I'm so sorry to be such a downer today!

Trying to keep my spirits up by watching tennis. Go federer!!

Hope that all of you are okay!!!!

footballnut - I'm not a medical person, but I don't think you should have to suffer this much.  Perhaps your onc should refer you to an urgent care or emergency facility where you can get some proactive relief.  And, agree, taking Percocet is likely to make it worse.  Feel for you.

Mompv - beautiful daughters and photos.

Mame - missing chemo is a mixed blessing, at least your body will have a chance to heal before the next one.

We are managing, but probably will not have the waterline repaired until tomorrow.  We are having torrential thunderstorms, which doesn't help the outside working situation.  Just glad we don't have a house full of company.  My energy is slowly returning - at least I can sit up all day now.

unfortunately can't reach anyone today unless it's emerg and I'd prefer to stay away from there

If I feel this bad tomorrow morning I'll be calling

Footballnut,  Sending thought of healing and freedom from pain your way.  It sounds intolerable...hang in there until tomorrow when you can call your MO.  If the MO has an emergency number, now would be the time to call.  Huge hugs to you.

Swissmiss, No pain from the port post infusion, but I can't stand mine either and can't wait for it to be removed.  On another thread someone posted a you tube of port removal in office rather than hospital. She actually chose to have hers removed this way, and said it was no big deal at all!   My BS actually only does removal in her office in a 10 minute procedure.  Or, I can go to the hospital and have an interventional radiologist remove it, and would have more than local anesthesia.  The in-office procedure is local only, but then you don't have to spend hours in the hospital. I'll probably chicken out and go to the hospital.  My port was very painful sleeping until about 2 months ago when it finally "settled."  I'm told it's not uncommon for it to be painful in thin, smallish women which is me.   

Thought I was sailing through nearly at the end of Taxol, but couldn't get my infusion on Thursday as my white blood count gran was only 0.9 - overall wbc was 1.6.  Ugh.  My MO is OK with me skipping it and having only 11 Taxols, but I'm doing all 12.  What's another week added to what's already been half a year since DX!  Hard to believe I've already been that long a resident of cancerland-:). 

Paula

Hello, fellow warriors. After getting through round 4 chemo week and feeling human again, let me tell you how I spent the weekend. I haven't been able to go out much or travel since my diagnosis (and my birthday fell on a bad chemo day), so I decided to cram a lot of pampering and enjoyment into one holiday weekend. Having almost reached the annual out-of-pocket maximum of my health insurance, I celebrated by spending an OBSCENE amount of money on myself at a nice resort and spa about an hour outside of DC.

I left the wig at home, but took several nice scarves with me. When I was getting ready for my spa treatment, I hesitated about leaving the scarf in the locker and walking around the spa area bald. I haven't let anyone see me like that. But I left the scarf behind. When I was sitting in the relaxation room waiting for my treatment, a bald woman walked by. We gave each other a knowing smile. It was perfect. I saw her later in the restaurant, still bald, having a nice time with some friends. 

This was the first time since my diagnosis that I haven't felt like Cancer Girl. I didn't talk about cancer at all this weekend!