need some help

momand2kids
momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
edited July 2014 in ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)

Hi

I am 5.5. years- dx last week with papillary thyroid cancer-which by all accounts is curable.  Surgery is next week

What I need help with-- now I seem to be completely freaking out over everything--- pain in my groin- I think it is something serious, pain in my left shoulder, I think it is my heart, or colon or anything else.  I did not have this so much over the past 5 years--is this normal?

I try to soothe myself with the knowledge that I did everything I could with my bc to prevent recurrence,  I had a colonoscopy in 2011, I had my gyn in June 2013 and am scheduled for July 2104.  I see a dermatologist 2x a year, dentist 4 x per year, oncolgy 1x per year, pcp 1x per year and as needed.  I am being followed for  a non-suspicious lung nodule (another incidental finding of my ct that picked up the thyroid)  I also went back to the therapist that I saw during bc. 

So, what I need help remembering is "does this all fade"?  I feel like it does, but right now I am so wound up---- 

Any reassurance or your own stories would be so helpful.  I just cannot imagine having cancer for a 3rd time..... 

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  • vlnrph
    vlnrph Member Posts: 1,632
    edited July 2014

    You have certainly been through a ton of anxiety-provoking events recently! Thyroid treatment is challenging until equilibrium is achieved. Perhaps a low dose of lorazepam (brand name Ativan) would help take the edge off. Call your doctor right away and ask about getting a prescription.

    Waiting prior to surgery is the worst time, especially during a holiday weekend that might be difficult to enjoy this year. Your city has many activities that might help be a distraction - try to take advantage of a few.

    One friend, whose mother died of BC in the 1960s when she was a young teenager, has had 3 occurences but maintains an excellent quality of life so it is possible. She was an inspiring source of support and advice for me when I was going thru treatment. You could become a similar pillar of strength for someone else to lean on in the future. Hang in there...

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited July 2014


    Mom - ofcourse your feelings are normal! I would imagine that a new diagnosis would trigger all the same fears that the initial one did. I was a big fan of Xanax between the time of my diagnosis and surgery. I literally took 1/4 or 1/2 a tab which was big enough to take the edge off but small enough so that I could function without fear during the day. Be kind to yourself. I am sure that post surgery when your treatment plan is totally in place, you'll get to a more peaceful place.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2014

    Your feelings are normal.  I've only faced this once and I freak out every time I have some soreness, pain, or anything weird going on in my body. I think it's c. I was not a hypochondriac before this, but I sure am now.  I hate being so imprisoned by my own body.  I'm hoping that this will be the END of it for you, post-surgery, and you'll eventually not even think about c every day (every hour?) but I know exactly how you feel about the feeling of being hypersensitive to every little freaking ache and pain.

    Hugs.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2014

    PS I still take xanax for every MO visit (every 4 months still).

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  • 16Christine
    16Christine Member Posts: 23
    edited July 2014

    mom -

    Your reactions sound just like mine. I got three cancer diagnoses at once -- 3 primary tumors, one being ILC. I was a wreck during the year of treatment. I'm a little better now, but still worried where it will show up next.

    As for how much followup to do, I pick my battles. I do not have scans of everything every year. I've never had and do not plan to have a colonoscopy unless I have symptoms. I do the dentist 3x a year but never had a dermatologist check my skin. Sometimes I tell myself I don't really care which way I die or when, after all, why live if I have to see so many doctors who are so horrible to me. I'm not sure I believe myself, tho!

    I did just change oncogolists. I have an appointment with a new one next week who was recommended by my physical therapist. She knows them all and thinks this new one is the best of the bunch. After two years with the original med-onc we had said everything we had to say to each other, and we were tired of each other. He wanted his treatment to be working so was skeptical of my side effects and problems. Time for a new guy who may be more objective.

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  • lekker
    lekker Member Posts: 594
    edited July 2014

    Mom - my fears faded pretty quickly after my colon polyp 14 years ago.  It's taking a lot longer this time.  I've been very lucky that my cancers have been found at stage 0 and 1, and my risk of recurrence of the breast cancer is low (oncotype 13), but I wonder what's next?  I get checked by the derm at least once a year, go for colonoscopies every 3 years, don't need gyn checks anymore as I had everything removed.  I was tested for pretty much every known oncogene and was negative.  I need to get back to my intensive exercise program and ease up on the wine, but if feel like I'm doing everything I can.  I wish I could find an onc who has some experience with young patients with multiple primaries.  I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone.  I hope your surgery goes well and they're able to get your thyroid meds correct right away!

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited July 2014

    Thanks all-I had my pre-op yesterday and I feel a lot better.  It is routine surgery, and everyone treats it as if it is completely curable, which it is.  I have a strong heart (EKG) and all other systems are go.  

    vln and toomuch-- One thing I did learn 5.5 years ago with bc was about Ativan--as soon as this started, I asked for some--just like having it around in case it all gets to be too much.  have used it once or twice a week--but am feeling the need slip away. Claire, I have heard many people say that they use it for the MO meetings…. I have not done that, but I can see where it would be helpful.  I suspect I might be using it for the first meeting or two with the endocrinologist….. 

    Lekker-thanks for the "you are not alone"… that is what I need to know.  I have never really "identified" as a breast cancer survivor--- We did the surgery, treatment, drugs and as far as I am concerned, that is the end of it-- I am hoping to get to that place with this-- I am thinking it will be easier ultimately-- time is much shorter- there are not a gazillion tests-and it has been 4 weeks from dx to surgery.  And, literally everyone involved (and the data) tells me that this is completely curable--- as one of the docs said "One does not wish for a  tumor, but if one has to have one, this is the one you would want"….So, in my heart I know this is solvable--- and I just went off my bc drugs on Monday after 5 years…. so I know I have a lot to be grateful for--just a little on the edge and I suspect I will get there again--thank you so much for help pulling me off…… 

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2014

    Just remember that there are a lot of people from BCO in your pocket wishing you the best possible thoughts. Keep positive.

    The Mods

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