Gift ideas for recently diagnosed 28 year old mom

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epk
epk Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My former best friend from 6th grade is having a unilateral mastectomy on Monday (Oct 8, 2012).

She is 28 years old with a husband and a 1 year old daughter. I haven't spoken to her in person in ages but we're facebook friends and I found out about her diagnosis through facebook. She's very active in her church and has no shortage of household helpers/food. I'm looking for non-awkward ways to do something nice for her... something I can send or quickly drop off.

So far I've heard about making heart-shaped pillows for under her arm post-op (I'm handy with a sewing machine... actually we used to take sewing lessons together as kids), chocolate/candy, nice lotions, flowers, cards, tea, socks...

I'm looking for some fresh ideas, and I would also like to do something nice for her husband and baby girl.  Any ideas about what to get a guy whose wife is going through this? And something for the kid that she won't already have a million of? I've thought about making her daughter a teddy bear.

Thanks for reading :)

- epk 

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited October 2012

    Certificates for anything...Olive Garden, Dunkin Donuts...etc.  That way, the hubby can entertain the kids when mom needs her rest - everyone wins!

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  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited October 2012

    One of the best presents I got after my mastectomy was a fleece shawl (scarf?) that a friend made me. She just cut a generous narrow rectangle of fleece with the pink breast cancer ribbon on it, but you could use some pretty floral or other patterned fleece.

    My surgery was in December, and even though I'd rented a hospital bed, had plenty of blankets, and satin jammies (neccessary for getting in and out of bed easily), I had a reading lamp hooked up to a remote control, and when I couldn't sleep, I'd read.

    But my arms and shoulders would get chilly, and just laying that long shawl over the top of my arms and shoulders kept me so cozy! And I didn't have to use my arms much to move it.

    Another thing I got was a pyramid-shaped pillow with a ridge around the bottom...it kept the books and magazines I was reading stable on my lap, without having to hold them up.

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  • mawhinney
    mawhinney Member Posts: 1,377
    edited October 2012

    What about a long scarf that could be draped or knotted around her neck/chest area to help hide the mastectomy side while everything heals. I had a unilateral mastectomy and was always looking for ways to help disguise bandages, tubes, uneveness etc.  A soft vest in her favorite color or a shirt with 2 strategically placed pockets - both would help to hide uneveness.  If your friend knits, a gift bag with some yarn and a pattern may be welcomed. If your friend is going to have hair loss from chemo, a knitted cap, stylish hat, or head scarf might be appreciated. What about a gift certificate to have her nails done!  Tuck a cuddly stuffed animal in the gift box for the baby.

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  • Lou10
    Lou10 Member Posts: 332
    edited October 2012

    Some good ideas already so just a thought ... I've got a friend about to have the same surgery and I wouldn't give her anything pink or with a pink breast cancer ribbon on it. I used to love the colour pink until I got breast cancer. A while into my treatment, I threw out any pink clothing. And I'm not alone.

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  • DeborahC
    DeborahC Member Posts: 114
    edited October 2012

    Anything soft that buttons up the front or can be wrapped around is great for recovery.  Someone gave me the most wonderful pajamas that button in front and are super stretchy.  They are so easy to get on and so comfortable.  I also got a shawl (as I could not get a coat on without pain).  I got some great shower gel and a long handled scruppy thing so I could reach in the shower.  The little heart pillows are also nice.  For the family - pizza delivery one night was great.

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  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited October 2012

    My favorite things post mastectomy were:   a vest that had pockets to carry my cell phone and made me feel protected like people weren't looking at my chest...I was able to put it over my pjs in case company dropped by...saw some today at K Mart !  Very nice yet inexpensive.   Travel pillows were a HUGE help!  I had 4 of them and put them around me sleeping in a la-z-boy recliner.   My all-time favorite gift was a gift certificate for a pedicure!   

    Slippers were great when I got better.  And I agree - stay away from pink and pink ribbons!  She will grow to hate all of that stuff!

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  • MiniMacsMom
    MiniMacsMom Member Posts: 595
    edited October 2012

    I was 27 at DX with a 16 no old. Jammies and slippers or slipper socks are great. Also my mom and I made a cute pouch belt for my surgical drains that didn't go in my pant loops. Its fast and it hides the drains but looks nice. I can pm y directions and pictures if you want. My other favorite gift was a big fluffy blanket and dinners. Also you can get the baby some kind of activity. Baby might not get out as much if chemo is needed.

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  • Lou10
    Lou10 Member Posts: 332
    edited October 2012

    Another thought ... great to let her know that you're thinking about her now, by sending a gift or something, but it would be really great if you were to give her something a little later too. For example, people may send flowers at the time of surgery but what about a month or two later, when she may need her spirits lifted even more.

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  • epk
    epk Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2012

    Thank you to everyone for your replies! There are some great ideas in here.

    I'm glad you guys mentioned the pink stuff being annoying... I suspected this might be true. I went shopping today and the pink ribbons are everywhere this month... I couldn't help but think how irritating it must be for those with the disease to have a constant reminder everywhere they go. Now that I know I'll avoid pink at all costs Smile

    Lou10, I especially like your advice about sending something later as well. I think I will hold off on the flowers for now since I'm sure she'll be getting a ton. I'll wait until a few weeks have gone by to send them, to let her know I'm still thinking of her.

    Feel free to keep adding suggestions to the list! 

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  • Lou10
    Lou10 Member Posts: 332
    edited October 2012

    The something later doesn't have to be flowers, although flowers are wonderful, particularly when no one is sending them any more.

    When I was going through treatment, a work acquaintance sent me an email asking if she could do anything. Normally, I would have said no. This time I said yes, even though I hardly knew this woman. I said I'd love to receive something, anything, by snail mail from time to time. She followed through and I really liked getting her mail. I may be weird (okay I am) but this is what I asked her for (I would have liked to receive inspiring song lyrics too but didn't think of that).

    ---- 

    Don't worry, I'm not asking for a letter or anything so strenuous! Just something quick and easy:

    ·       a one-liner (or even just a word), or

    ·       a copy of something you would normally send by email, or

    ·       a snippet from a newspaper or magazine, or

    ·       a picture of a person or place, or

    ·       a fortune from a fortune cookie, or

    ·       a button or scrap of fabric, or

    ·       whatever! :)

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited October 2012

    I haven't taken the time to read all of the above, but personalized handmade gifts are the best, and if you're an experienced seamstress, you're one step ahead of many of us!

    I love your first idea of a little support pillow.  One that could be microwaved as a heating pad might also be nice.  And I love the teddy bear idea for her daughter, who I'm sure could use some extra comforting right now.  How about assembling a few things in a little basket that could be left on her doorstep?  And for her hubby -- depending on how well you know him -- how about the book, Breast Cancer Husband, by Marc Silver -- a book written with lots of sports terminology to which guys can relate?http://www.breastcancerhusband.com/

    Some of the best gifts I received post surgery were (1) a hand knitted shawl that had a little note attached saying it had been prayed over by the group of women who sent it; (2) a pretty dinner basket containing jarred homemade soup, homemade cookies, and some other things I can't remember, that was waiting on our doorstep when I got home from the hospital; (3) a huge basket of spa-like goodies, like the heating pad, eye shades, slippers -- comfort things like that that I got a lot of use out of while I recuperated; and (4) a collage of old cheerleading, beach, etc., photos from my best friend in high school who lives across the country, telling me how much our friendship means to her, but in a way that really made me laugh & smile.       

    You sound like a really caring friend, and I'm sure your friend will be delighted with whatever you decide to do.     Deanna 

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  • JeanGenie
    JeanGenie Member Posts: 28
    edited October 2012

    Front button pajamas!  Until you get the all-clear to shower, the next best thing is a wipe down with baby-wipes and some nice clean PJs.  Extra pairs saved my husband a lot of laundry time.

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  • Mr_Mosswood
    Mr_Mosswood Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2013


    Hey EPK,


    Hope all is well wit your friend! I know its a bit too late, but I had just found out about great gift idea and I wanted to share.


    Its called a Radiant Wrap. Here's the link: http://www.theradiantwrap.com


    It was a very nice and soft gown made for women with breast cancer. When my wife was diagnosed I was looking all over for a fresh gift idea (something other than flowers) but couldn't really find anything relevant. As it turns out my wife was very uncomfortable in the hosital gown. She didn't like walking around the hall speaking with doctors and technicians with her back and rear end hanging out! I can't blame her. The Radiant Wrap kept her all covered up, and she loved the way it looked.


    I would recommend it for your loved, a great gift idea worth checking out.


    Hope this helps someone!


    -Mr. Mosswood

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  • BikerLee
    BikerLee Member Posts: 355
    edited November 2013


    gift certificate for a house cleaning by a reputable cleaning service? or for yard work? or for some hours by a local handy person?


    this would ease some burdens on the adults in their house...


    are you nearby? if yes, you could also consider offering a bit of babysitting....


    i think it's wonderful that you're looking for something nice to do - i espcially appreciate the goal of something that's nonawkward - made me laugh a little out loud, in fact!


    good luck!

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  • mjm1
    mjm1 Member Posts: 139
    edited June 2014

    There's so many great ideas on this already. Long scarves and shawls that can be chucked on and cover up the surgery side are great, nice lotions and face creams, DVDs, a cookbook for the hubby if he needs it, if she doesn't have one already an appt book for the zillions of medical appts (moreso if she needs chemo or rads later), good books, gift voucher for housework/garden was a great idea.

    My Mum just suggested a toy nurses kit for the daughter to play at helping mummy (as long as the kids not going to take her role Too seriously).

    Loved the point about getting something later as well. Mum got a heap of flowers and cards at the beginning, which was wonderful, but she also needed a lift a bit further along.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited June 2014

    If you live far away;  regular cards, just not now but later too. Phone calls (I had a friend who would call me every Sunday night just to check in), gift certificates to restaurants, for groceries etc., DVDs of her favorite movies or TV series.  If you live near enough, a homemade meal on a regular basis, an offer to babysit when she has appointments (and/or so she and DH can get out for a date), ask her if she wants to go for a short walk (with you pushing the stroller).....I think it is the things you do on an ongoing basis (whatever that may be) are the things that will mean the most to her.

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