DIEP 2014
Comments
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I'm three weeks out from my DIEP surgery, and my breasts are still very hard. I think I've read where some ladies massage their breasts and they've softened up. At what point did you start massaging them and what do you put on them - a particular lotion or something?
One love,
tp4ever
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I have a bump/lump at the top of my cleavage on the right that was bruised right after surgery. The bruising is gone, but the lump remains. No pain. No even at the beginning. The PS said he tough it was inflammation from cutting the rib, but no pain? He is going to either sonogram or MRI the bump. It wasn't there before surgery, so I am not worried it is anything but surgery related, but it is strange.
Lemon, be careful on your trip. Hope you are having good weather there.
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thinkpink - my surgery was the day after yours. I saw my PS on Thursday. He said light massage to the one hard area, with or without lotion. He said I could use lotion or aquaphor if needed.lemon - I am only 3 weeks out but have pain in the exact spot you are describing. My PS said it was from the rib.Hope everyone is having a great weekend. The weather in the Northeast is absolutely spectacular.
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Hi ladies! I will be joining you. I am having a bilateral DIEP on August 13th. I had a MX two years ago and will be having a prophylactic MX on my "good" side. I've researched this for what seems like forever. Now that it is six weeks away, I'm a bit overwhelmed at how to prepare. Since I've had a MX, I sort of know the drill, but realize this is a much bigger surgery. I'm off to search for "what to wear" and whether or not I'll be able to handle the 12 stairs it takes to get into my house. If anyone wants to shortcut my search, I'd be grateful.
I'm triple positive and have had 2 LX, a MX, chemo, a year of Herceptin, and radiation. I'm looking forward to being more balanced.
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VballMom,
We are all different in how we heal and how soon we are able to do things. Please remember to follow instructions and listen to your body when you attempt to do things.
I have 17 steps inside to go upstairs and I managed on the day I came home from hospital. Slowly and with someone being behind me the first time. I found it a bit harder to go downstairs.( I was tired after the shower) My bedroom and bath are upstairs and I had prepped my bathroom with everything I thought I would need.(even though I have one downstairs). I have a hospital bed which helped with sleeping inclined and staying on my back and getting out of bed. Which is downstairs. My insurance paid for this. I rented a recliner with lift which helped me for the first 2 week home. After that it was easier to get up from sitting. I had to pay for this, But worth it. I also took naps there. I had someone lend me a walker, which made me feel more secure for the first few days. As I felt better and was able to decrease pain meds i felt more stable.
I had all the medically stuff, alcohol, gauze, antib ointment...etc (based on what my PS had ordered during prior surgeries) A small fan/ and a hair dryer to air dry incision in my bathroom. I also had pile of clean towels and my changing clothes in a pile in room for easy access.
I placed a chair in my bathroom. I sat after the shower to dry off and clean incisions. I needed to in the beginning standing is very tiring. A shower chair was recommended, but I was just not able to get one. If you have someone to assist with shower time, it makes it much easier. If not bending is not doable. Make sure shampoo /conditioner and bath items are reachable. I ended up using a large ziploc bag, that I poked a few holes in and hung on faucet to put my stuff in for easy reaching.
Clothes - I am still using PJ shorts. They are loose and go no where near incisions. No undies since surgery, unless I go out in a dress. I also purchased mens white tank top tees and wear those under my tank tops. They are longer and cover me to my hips. They pick up any leaky stuff from incisions. you can pin drains to them and wear your loose bottoms over them or I began to roll them down to give belly button and incisions air time. You need stuff that is loose while you have drains in, can be a skirt or dress or open front blouse. Once drains are out, I was able to wear my shorts and capris that are stretchable material and not too tight with tank tops.
My PS is no bra and no binder, you need to see what yours orders. Also what range of motion your PS orders and what are you able to do.
I was able to do hair washing and put on tank tops ( you can step into them, if stretchy)
At 5 weeks I can pretty much wear anything as long as it doesn't sit on incisions or compresses my flap. It is much easier to do everything now. But I still get tired and if I do too much tummy tightens and you get achy. Still a bit swollen and sometimes more on one side.
I wish you the best and if you have any questions please ask,
Vivian
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vballymom
Naiviv covered just about everything. Although, I do not have any stairs in my house, if the ones you are concerned with aren't used on a daily basis (just to get into your house) then don't worry about them. The only exercise I got at the beginning was a stepper I have in my house. I would try to get a shower chair. The have them at Walmart for fairly cheap. The recliner is a must for most people. Mine is not power, and it was fine. A lot of women swear by the power ones. Mine is pretty worked in (over a year old and has had a lot of use) and the lever moves so easily. BTW...something we never talk about. I have two "full" size sheets that fit over a recliner very nicely. They are long enough that they fit over the top and we pull the down bottom and hook over the foot rest area, and then tuck excess into the seat area. The stay on nicely, and I can wash them every day or so. It certainly isn't gorgeous, but my recliner still looks like new after sitting in it a lot, and you can keep things more sanitary by washing the sheet in hot water often. You will be eating in that thing, putting lotion on it that thing, sweating a lot (if you are like the rest of us) in the that thing. It's just nice to be able to wash the cover often.
Anyway, welcome. I hope we will be of some help to you. I know this place was a God send for me. Oh, I forgot, see if you can find a step in, or button up little soft dress to wear home from the hospital, and you will get a lot of use from it around the house too. I had no dressing to change when I got home. Just empting of the drains, which usually doesn't last long. And, like Naiviv said some docs want binders, some don't. Mine was a don't. Yeah!!!
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Thank you! That is such a big help. It's all becoming real!
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Hello Ladies,
I went to see my onco-plastic surgeon on Friday and it all went well (my first consultation) my diep should now be done within 18 weeks. Suddenly, I am feeling very down. I am not sure why. Did anyone else get this way before?
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Wintersocks,
Glad you had your appt, sorry you are down. Are you nervous about surgery? Did you like the doctor? It has been a while since you finished chemo and rads. Could it possibly be because you are having to deal with the BC issue and doctors again? We are here if you have any questions.
Feel better,
Vivian
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I think too much activity Friday and Saturday, although I felt pretty good then. This morning was alright, so I went to church, but by the end of church I Was worn out. I did go out to lunch with my family as it was my birthday, but by the end I was done! I've had a nap, things hurt, have a headache, so I took a tramacet for the first time in 4-5 days
. But, hopefully it will kick in soon and I will feel better. My kids come home tomorrow, so I need to rest up for that tomorrow night. My sitter comes in Tues to help, Wednesday in the oncologist, so a busy week. I had plans for some errands and paperwork tomorrow, but unless i'm awesome feeling tomorrow, I think I'll crash for the day. Frustrating,as I need to get things done, but trying to listen to my body better this time so I don't mess up recovery. I guess up and down is normal, but it's 3 weeks on Tuesday, and i want normal back
But today, wasn't as bad as the bad few days at the start of the week, so still progress. I think I also feel worse, as I ate a bigger meal at lunch, and it didn't sit well, and my belly felt like it was pulling on the stitches. And then I had indigestion. So, I won't do that again!
So, bound up again, drugged up and ready for sleep. I also tried sleeping flat last night and nap, and not time for that yet.
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Wintersocks - when I got my stage 2 packet it hit me. Since this is a marathon, not a sprint, it is when I hit the wall. There's no rhyme or reason why or when we feel the impact. For me, I think it was a combination of things. Everything has gone smoothly for me (if anything involving cancer can be) and for that I feel blessed, but I don't think I had thought about the reality of what I'm experiencing until that packet for my final surgery came. It came just after I'd walked in a Race for the Cure. After my triumphant 5K walk, the survivors were lined up by years. I was in the 0-1 with three other ladies. One was obviously still going through chemo and the others had recently completed their treatment. They shared their diagnosis and I mine. What happened next I didn't expect because they literally turned their backs and only talked to each other as if my experiences over the past six months were invalid. Did the fact that I diagnosed early, chose treatment compatible with my heart issues, and had my hair mean my experience was less than theirs? Should I even think of myself as a survivor? That experience and the packet caused me to doubt everything. Should I even be thinking of what I looked like if I wasn't really a "real" survivor? A cloud settled over me because of a sudden rush of what if's and I questioned my choices. But I'm working on the realization that we all have different diagnoses, treatment plans, surgeries and recoveries. I made my choice to live as normal a life as possible, just like you. I accept there are times I question my choices and realize I'm not completely through it yet, but I had to tell myself that I truly trust my PS and what he has done for me so far, just as yours will do for you. I think it is a matter of wondering if life will ever be normal again. You will get through this time because ultimately, you want to be you again, as "normal" as possible. Your experiences will be yours and you will recover. You have already met and overcome challenges, so DIEP is just another positive step on the road to be who you want to be.
When you have questions or concerns, we will be here to help you.
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Polly, sounds like you tried to have a normal day, and it's just not time yet. You will get there. I think are right. Take tomorrow off. Like you said, listen to your body.
Wintersocks, sounds like you were stuffing all your feelings away for a while, and now with your surgery coming up the feelings are resurfacing along with a little healthy fear. Hang in there. We are here for you, as I am sure all the people in your life. Keep talking and asking questions!
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Hi All –
I wanted to share that my PS’s
nurse pulled my last drain on Friday afternoon, so I am officially drain
free!!! I am SO SO excited. Of course, I traded the drain for a very
tight binder…but as uncomfortable as the binder is, I am very happy to have the
drain phase behind me!!! I finally
shaved my legs today and I feel like a new woman. I can’t wait to be able to shave my
underarms. I had thought I would be able
to do that by now, but I am very sore and I can’t lift my arms up high
enough…and the drain sites are still scabbed, so I am waiting for them to be
more healed.Both of my breasts feel really hard
to the touch…and I have a few sections closer to the chest bone where it looks
like rope (thick rope like a twine) underneath.
I’m wondering if that is the “roping” that some of you have
mentioned…and if so, is there something I should be doing for that? Also, is there something I should be doing
for the hardness? One more breast shape question…On
my right side (where the lymph nodes were taken) there is a large divot like
area in the upper outer quadrant of my breast…more adjacent to my underarm, but
in the breast area. Has anyone else seen
that as part of their healing process from phase 1?For those of you who are ahead of
me. This may sound strange but I feel
like my underarms smell different than they did before the surgery. Has anyone else noticed that? It is worse under the arm where my lymph
nodes were removed and I’m wondering if they are related? If anyone else had/has this issue, how have
you handled it (other than constantly cleaning your underarms…which is what I
am trying to do now. J).Teacher64
and lahela --
Before my surgery I used to work on pulling my shoulders back to open my
chest and also to improve my posture.
I’ve been afraid to do that since my surgery. I tried it yesterday for the first time and
it hurt so I was going to hold off for a bit. I am SO glad that you mentioned
this. I will add working on pushing my
shoulders back and down for posture to my incentive spirometer routine (yes, I
am still using it). Although, I do see
great irony in the fact that I will be working on my posture while I am still
not able to stand perfectly straight…definitely more upright than last week,
but it feels like there is still a long way to go.lahela
– I’m sorry that you have been hesitant to look at your new nips, but please
know you are not alone!! I didn’t look
at my body until after I got home…I was afraid that I would look and then pass
out. It took me a full week post surgery
to really look at myself. You will look
when you are ready and only you can decide when that is.aff
- Thanks for the info on the strips.
…and hang in there on the radiation phase.gila4936
-- Good for you!! I had wanted to get my hair cut and colored
before surgery, but ran out of time. I
did squeeze in the mani/pedi. Now that
my drains are out, I will put this on my list of things “to do”…and I hope you find
someone who will come to your house to shave your legs. Mine were driving me crazy…which I know is
shallow, but I feel SO much better now that they are shaved.Oh, and one more thing, I am
totally with you on the surgical bra thing.
I hate mine. I did spend some
time last night looking for an alternative on-line…but haven’t ordered anything
yet. I’m really clueless about what
size(s) to try, but am getting closer to pulling the trigger on a few in
different sizes and then going from there..goldie4040
– Are you a profiler??? LOL!! Actually, my house is a mess…especially right
now as I am trying to get my kids ready to head off to their respective summer
activities. But you are pretty close on
most of the rest. I work full time and
volunteer a lot…including PTO President while my kids were in elementary
school. Oh, and I am getting better at
saying “no”…but that will be a lifetime work in progress!!…and a question re: exercise –
are you doing squats in front of the microwave now or was that pre-surgery?Glad to hear that Lily is
continuing to make progress!!enjoyevrymoment
-- Woot woot for relaxing!!I am so impressed that you are
walking 4 miles per day. I really need
to get outside a little bit more, but I find myself still getting tired so
quickly and often, that I haven’t been able to do that. Maybe once the boys are off for their summer
activities I will be able to try a little more walking. In the meantime, most of my walking is around
the house and up and down the stairs.…and re the dress –
congrats!! My body has always been tough
to fit into a dress since my bust was so large and I was really different sizes
on top and on bottom. Now I’m wondering
how dresses will be…….and I love that you overheard
those women in the store!! You go girl!!DeeW29
– I’m so sorry that you are having a rough time!! You are only a few days behind me (mine was
6/16) and that discomfort is still very fresh in my mind…and still part of my
life. But, I can tell you that although
I have ups and downs within each day and from day to day it feels like my
progress is incremental at best, when I look back to where I was a week ago (just
home from the hospital), I can tell you that I have made tremendous progress
from last week to this week…and I am sure that will happen to you too. Hang in there as best as you can…take your
meds and stay ahead of the pain…and look forward to tomorrow. It feels amazing not to have drains…and just
so you know, I barely felt them being removed.Sammyjokk
– Welcome home!! We all look forward to
hearing how you are doing!!pollyanna5 – It sounds like you are doing well…thanks so much for
sharing…and I find that especially encouraging given that you are only a few
days ahead of me so I know I am right behind you!! I am having the same issue with how
different my fake breasts feel, more when I touch them than when clothes glance
against them, but I do find that is an issue, especially on the sides of my
breasts.…and congrats on the weight
loss. I’m down a few pounds, but up a
pound since I got home. I’m assuming he
few pounds I’m down was from the mastectomies, but will know better once I read
the path report.Re: bras – how did you figure out
that you were a B cup now? I was a G cup
before and am definitely much smaller now, but I’m still too sore and swollen
to even thing about measuring. I put on
a new tank top today and the large is a little too big around the chest. I kept it because it is easier to get in and
out of…but I am hoping to order some bras online tonight and I really feel like
I’m shooting arrows into the dark. …and
going from a G to whatever I am now (..and will be as I continue to heal)…I
can’t help but look at the pretty colored bras…I’m looking at the Coobies and
am thinking I might order one with polka dots.
I haven’t had a bra that cute since I was in my early teens… I can’t wait to get further into this phase
of healing and through the next stages.
I am also going to get some pretty bras!!Teacher64
– thanks for the tip on the shoulders. I
can shrug and the looking over my shoulder is definitely a good stretch as I
didn’t realize how tight I was there until you had suggested it as part of the
exercise…but tried pulling them back again today and it still hurt.…and I am horrified that other
survivors would treat you like that. I
am struggling with many of the same issues you mentioned…and still trying to
accept that I have (or if I’m lucky did have) cancer at all. Its been 2+ months since my diagnosis and 3
months since I first found the lump…and even with this huge surgery, I still am
having trouble reconciling that the reason I went ahead with this surgery is
because I had cancer. I am still having
a hard time believing it!Vivian – Sounds like you
are making great progress!!lemon68—I
have a divot in my breast which I had noted earlier in this post and my medial
chest area, just above my breasts is very sore…so you are definitely not
alone!!….and good luck with the driving
and the slots!!vballmom
– Welcome to the group. I am sure that
you will find lots of good information here…as I have. I am two weeks out. We bought an inexpensive recliner and moved
some chairs around in the livingroom…and I am sleeping in the chair…that is
where I rest during the day as well. It
was also recommended that I have plenty of pillows handy, so we picked up a few
new ones. My hubby picked up the other
things that we thought we might need (ie. Gauze, tape,etc) when he picked up my
scripts after I left the hospital. As
for clothes, I had read that maxi dresses were great, but the few that I bought
were too long (even though I bought petites…I’m 5’2+”). I bought a few botton down tank tops from old
navy and bought a couple of jersey skirts from old navy as well…and a couple of
tank tops from J. Jill. Anything which
isn’t a button down I bought a little big so that I would be able to stop into
them, since I’m not supposed to lift my arms higher than my shoulder…and if I
do, it hurts. -
Pollyanna, I am two days behind you (though I had already had DMX in Oct). I know doc had tried to prepare me for it but. I an shocked at how little energy I have, both physical and mental focus. I am starting to get frustrated with situation.... I feel so helpless and dependent.
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Vball I have learned on this thread that the worry is worse than the actual event and recovery. For stairs the going up is easier. My friend suggested going backwards down the stairs. It is much more comfortable this way. Use a shower stool. See if your local st. Vinnies has a medical closet for loaners. Use a clean towel each time you shower. I found that although the longest surgery it has been by far the easiest to recover from. Great advice from Vivian and Goldie and the others.
Wintersocks sorry you are down. It is hard to imagine that really this is an exciting surgery. I hope you can imagine warm soft jiggly foobs on your chest and how it will likely be the closest you have felt to your pre diagnosis self in a long while.
Teacer thank you for sharing your experience. Sorry you had to go through that. It is shocking in and of itself but also that I think usually there is a strong bond between breastcancer strangers and your experience was the opposite.
LAMB I also have a divot in that same place. I just had my 6 wk PS follow up on thurs and he said about filling it in stage 2. The post surg odor...my theory is that the anaesthesia meds loves to stay in fat cells and slowly gets processedin the weeks following surgery. I have no idea why the nodes removed would make a difference.
For those becomming flappers this week I hope it all goes well! Please be aware that July 1 is when the new resident trainees start. Usually they aren't on their own til august but just be aware and don't be shy about askingfor the senior/attending if your rounding dr. Seems not quite confident. They are doing their best with getting anwhole lot thrown at them, just like you but different topic.
DeeW29 I gofer things are starting to turn for the better already.
Pollyanna I just can't believe you are doing laps at target and walmart already!
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DeeW29 I HOPE hings are startingbto turn better for you. Sorry I don't know where that gofer came from!
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LAMB - Isn't it great to have the drains out? That is a great step! The binder is a pain, but it helps. I've attempted to go without a few times for a bit, and I swell up and get more sore, so it is definitely worth it! I'm only going by what the doctor said, he said he had taken me down to about a B. I know after my reduction from a double/triple G, I was a "full" C per my plastic surgeon. I know I'm now quite a bit smaller then that, so a B sounds about right. I know I still wanted to be in a C range, as it fits my large frame and height, but the DIEP PS couldn't get me that big because of the damage from 4 c-sections (nerves, I'm guessing?) from the abdominal tissue removed. I know what you mean about bras, I am looking forward to pretty bra shopping when I'm through this! I need to go pick up something more then a stretching sports bra, as it seems flattening, so I want to pick up a soft cup at Walmart or two, but haven't yet. My breasts had the hard feeling for a few weeks, now it's in spots, but it seems to different areas, at different times.
OneTexasday - I know it's rough, but it's starting to get a bit better. I've had a few days where I've been able to do more, but yesterday was too much on top of the others. I feel better this morning, but plan to take it really slow today. I know what you mean about the energy levels. I was warned too, but I'm surprised how long it has taken to even get some smaller bursts of energy. And I swear, I feel like I've dropped significant IQ points since surgery. I feel dumb. I have little mental focus, and can't get it together to even do some things that have to be done. I'm hoping that comes back in the next few weeks.
The1toC - Well it was 1 lap of Walmart and 1 of Target
, and I don't think I'll be doing that too soon again. Although it was nice to do it at the time, it felt normal, and normal hasn't been around for a bit. So snatches of normalcy, are nice to have again. I'm assuming more and more of those will come over the next month.
Wintersocks, I'm sorry you're down again. I'm just out of my DIEP almost 3 weeks ago. I was down before my surgery, but it all happened so fast (d/x April 23), so I didn't have that prolonged period between them. But, I was overwhelmed going in as well.
Off to rest again, it's been an hour since I woke up, and I'm tired again.
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LoveAMB - PS permitting, you might try gentle massage on the ropey areas. I've been doing that across my belly because my PS told me to. The breast hardness does soften. It seemed that my breasts were heavier for quite a while, but that has lessened, too. I thought my antiperspirant was not effective anymore because I smell different. I bought a different brand. Weird effect of losing nodes? I don't know. As for the divots, I have them on the underside of my breasts. My left breast looks like gravity attacked because it has way less tissue than the right on the outer top quadrant. My PS said he could fix that. Table crawls, shrugs and the chicken dance movement ( admittedly a baby chick) were my first exercises.
OneTXday - sorry you feel helpless. I blame the anesthesia on the mental foggiest. You are coming up on a turning point at three weeks. Between weeks 3 and 4 I was able to read again. I live just a few miles north of you, so let me know if you need anything. You can send me a message if you want.
The1toC- when I read about going down the stairs backwards, I had a mommy flashback seeing my son as a toddler doing that.
Ashira and tlbradyful - let us know how stage two goes and new nips are. So glad you are there. Heal well.
The bra issue is still an unknown for me. I didn't have to wear the surgical bra (sigh of relief) and have worn soft, stretchy bras since about week 6. Even those have been uncomfortable due to excess skin under my arms. I was happier going braless but didn't want to let gravity take over. My PS told me not to spend much on bras because I will be changing some after stage two.
I had thought I'd lose weight after the bmx but came home heavier due to fluid. That leveled out and I was back to my presurgery weight. Then after DIEP the same thing happened, but because I exercised way less for longer, my weight was up four pounds for longer. I guess after stage two, I will be on the up side again but know I can at least control that aspect of my life. Knowing that the next stage is the end and the weight yo yo will be over is a positive.
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Good morning all,
It is so amazing to come here and listen/read. I wish we were all sitting around a table and sharing coffee (decaf of course) and perfectly healthy snacks. If any of you venture to Miami on your first bikini or topless vacation, please let me know.
It is interesting to see avatars/pics and to hear stories and imagine the women behind them.
Teacher64 brought up something that I have encountered in different ways and while I try to excuse persons in my mind as being "unknowing" it is hard. It's sad people can be so close minded. None of us should have to defend our choices to the outside world, it is especially sad to see it amongst the BC patients.
We have not only survived a tremendous challenge we have Thrived..... We are THRIVERS.
On that note...While I have been trying to eat better, I really blew it this past month. I am an emotional eater, while I got my protein in, there were too many desserts. Please let me share that I have made today Day 1 going forward to cut back on all those things that I should be avoiding and for weight loss. Also to exercise , mostly walking for now. I want to do this before I go back for lefty repair.
Thank you all for helping me Thrive,
Vivian
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Teacher 64, I can't believe you ran into that. So sorry! That is what I'm afraid of with some people. My son wants to run the race for the cure with me this fall, or next, if I can't do it this year. But because I was a late stage 0 (as of now - might change a bit, I understand, when I get the pathology this week), I sometimes get from people the it wasn't bad, or not that big of a deal vibe. I remind people that it was a big enough deal for the doctor to reccommend a BMX and I was able to have a reconstruction. 12 hours of surgery is indeed, a big deal. I sometimes feel, not sure of the word, guilty, doesn't quite do it, that I've only had "early" breast cancer. I should celebrate that it was caught early, not feel guilty. But, when speaking with other survivors (and it's amazing how many people since I've been diagnosed, who have had breast cancer, I've come to find out), I feel bad that many have had to go through so much more, then I have. Survivors guilt? Not sure, but there seems to a badge of honour (again, not sure if that's the word) for those who have had a more difficult road then others. For those reasons, I'm nervous a bit, to do the race for the cure, because I haven't gone through "enough".
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thinkpink... I think you can start gentle massage on hard areas now, but don't massage in the middle (cleavage) area. My PS told me that is where the blood vessels were attached.
Welome, vballmom! Send me a PM with your info if you'd like to be added to the surgery list. In regards to clothes... my favorite thing to wear after surgery was the Gillian & O'Malley drawstring pajama pants from Target. Other ladies on the board suggested them, and they are perfect! On top, I was most comfortable in soft cotton tank tops and light, zip up hoodies. (Nothing too bulky under the arms.) I lived in those clothes for many weeks. I also bought black yoga pants from Target. (They are the only place I found that carried long lengths.) I'm not a big yoga pants fan, but once I started leaving the house, and nothing else fit, I realized they were a must have. I sent my mom to Target to buy me another pair. I even wore them to church with a nice top, hoping no one would realize I was in "sweat pants". Lol!
wintersocks... I felt down from time to time, and sometimes I still do, even though my stage 1 was 5 months ago. There are just so many emotions through this, but I have many more up days then down days. I decided a long time ago that it was okay to feel sorry for myself sometimes, but mostly I am grateful for all the good things that have come from this. I believe that God has used all of this for good, and I am better because of it. My young girls have learned so much, and our family is closer. I have gotten to encourage many women along the way, who are going through their own struggles. I even got to share my story with a couple hundred high school students at my church, when our youth pastor was preaching about joy. So even though we feel down sometimes, we can always choose joy. There is so much to be thankful for!
Teacher... sorry that happened to you. I doubted myself when I was first diagnosed with DCIS 4 1/2 years ago. I had a lumpectomy and radiation, and when I walked at Relay for Life in the survivor lap, I almost felt like I wasn't worthy. I had a friend who had skin cancer tell me she didn't think she had been through as hard a struggle as I had, so she felt like she didn't "deserve" to walk. I realized back then that cancer is cancer. It is difficult and emotional no matter what the diagnosis. Some treatments are extremely difficult, some not as much, but it still sucks and still changes your life. We all have a story to tell, and all of those stories are valuable and have purpose.
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Pollyanna,
You have gone through more than any should ever have to go through. Please do not feel bad. I can't see anyone who has had more detours wishing it on those who have had less. I know what you speak of, and have experienced it also. It is harder to deal with in the beginning, but gets a bit easier as time goes by. Some have experience so much more than me, so I guess they have a right to gripe. I try not to respond to other BC patients, I have actually excused myself and gone to another waiting room. I also try not to respond to others whom proceed to tell me how lucky I am and then wish to tell me a gloom and doom tale....or my all time favorite has been...." You look great, cancer seems to agree with you". I had to go in to work , right in the midst of chemo and I felt and looked like crap, so I put on the wig and full makeup...It was followed by a story of When my Mom....I excused myself, apologized for cutting them short but told them I had an appt in HR....
There have been 2 relays earlier this year, one at The Baptist Hospital I get tx at, the second at the West branch closer to my home and my daughter's elem school. The school sold Luminaries to be placed around the lakes and the child could decorate in Memory of or in Honor of. I could not attend either event. The thoughts/conversations of attending gave me anxiety. I stayed home. Maybe next year.
Fouth of July last year was the last day that I didn't know, I spent the day at the beach, then out to dinner and finally fireworks. I was with my SO, we had been dating for about a year at the time (my kids were with their dad). Although I had biopsies on 7/1, I did not even think that they could be positive( Dr's had said 1% chance), I was diagnosed on 7/5. I was sitting in the car, we were on the way to Key West, it went from sunny to dark and then rain. The phone rang and I knew. We still went to Key West, I think I drank more than I ever have in my life, we walked around in the rain and stopped at every bar. We got soaked. Around 4 dark went to bright sun, Music started playing we eventually dried as we sat by the waters edge. We didn't say a word. He is an amazing man and has been my rock through all of this, He has been there for every appt, test, surgery. I am blessed.
I am having all kinds of feelings and thoughts about this. I am so thankful to be here and doing well, that you would think I'd want to go out to a celebration. I don't, I just want it to be 7/6 already. I am trying to work on the why in my brain, I think it is fear.
Hugs to all,
Vivian
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Good Morning...I really don't post in BC.org anymore, since I was quite active on the Triple Negative 5 years ago before putting BC on the back burner and getting on with my life. A BIRADS3 mammo in March put me back on the roller-coaster.
Now, I am 2 weeks out from my surgery and experiencing a normal recovery. I am reasonably out and about, albeit with reduced strength in my arms; I still have three drains in but expect them to come out this Thursday. Then I will feel truly liberated, since I liken them to having a ball and chain attached to my body.
I have resumed minor chores, though hubby is still on pitchfork duty with the horses. My fingers remain stained from the mulberries I continue to pick up for the baby raccoon I am rehabbing. I expect to be sailing again within the month, as soon as we finish the boot striping on her hull. Will have to get one of my sons to help hubby with the actual launching though. I will not be able to handle the rigging for quite some time.
Anyway, after the mammo scare and a gazzillion tests (PET, MRI, CAT, abdominal CT plus other pre-op stuff) my pathology came back clean. So, as much as a Mx and DIEP can reduce recurrence I am getting on with my life. My chances of seeing my sons married, and becoming a grandma are now a realistic possibility.
Best wishes for all of you as you continue on the path of recovery.
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Vivian - I'm with you on the weight loss. I had a goal in mind for this summer and a couple of surgeries got in the way. Now that I can exercise (5k on treadmill this morning), I'm working on improving muscle tone. I want to do the 5k walk in the Race for the Cure in October. When I did it in June, I finished in 69 minutes. I know that's not record breaking, but I felt good. My goal for October is to do it in less than one hour, so I'm picking up the pace. This morning I did it in 61.152 minutes. Since I have stage 2 the end of July, my hope is to be ahead on time so it won't be so hard to come back. I hope this week is filled with joy for all you've accomplished the past year so on Sunday you can say a prayer of thanksgiving for your blessings. "Cancer seems to agree with you?" What a horrid thing to say. I bet we could all compile enough garbage to write a book to tell people what NOT to say. One for me questioned if once I had the bmx did that mean I got to go to stage 0 like normal women? Insane. I like that we are all Thrivers!
Pollyanna - do the race if you choose. I decided to step left on ignorance (still working on it tho) and get a new perspective on things. We have all been put through the wringer, some several times, but getting past it is enough! And next time someone behaves rudely to me, I'm just going to say, "Bless your heart." and walk away.
HeidiToo - Congrats on a clean path report. Rehabbing a baby raccoon while you recover? You are a superwoman! What special care does a baby raccoon need beyond hand-picked berries? Bet it is cute.
Stage 2 "graduates" - what's best to wear to and from hospital for stage 2? I don't know yet about any bandaging or compression but know it most likely will be hotter than Hades here by the end of July. My pre-surgery routine will be the same...mani/pedi and hair trim and color. Since we didn't get a Florida vacation this year for natural highlights I will have Sonia add them.
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Congrats HeidiToo on your clean path report! Such a relief
I am relieved to read that others are feeling similar to how I felt about my DCIS diagnosis and whether or not this truly counts as being a BC survivor. I have felt like my DCIS diagnosis was not enough to count me in the survivors group. I'm not sure if this is because the cancer was non-invasive or because the treatment was "only" surgery. Now that I am on the other side of surgery, I feel differently. I had to have my boob removed in order to get rid of the in situ cancer. The surgery/recovery has been painful and slow. I am a survivor too.
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Baby raccoons need lots of attention, a varied diet and housing that is roomy with lots of things to explore. They love hammocks and will spend much of their time sleeping in them. They require routine worming to prevent spread of a parasitic roundworm that is zoonotic in nature (can pass to people and migrate to the brain) and can only be eradicated by blowtorch to the wire of their cage floor. And yes, they are very very cute. Their feet are extremely tactile and they are always using them to handle things in the environment.
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Just caught up on all the posts this afternoon! Wow there has been a lot going on. I had good intentions of keeping up with the forum after surgery but once I got to feeling better there was so much to catch up on here at home. I did my first reconstruction surgery approximately 60 days after 33 treatments of radiation. Before that, mastectomy (Dec) and chemo (July-Nov). I am coming up on my 1 year diagnosis mid July and it is hard to believe that all of this has happened in the last year. Stuff REALLY stacked up around the home front while treatment was going on. I know you all know what that is like....Anyway, Lemon/Goldie thanks for the shout out. I am doing pretty good and glad to hear you are both making progress too! Seeing a PT for ROM issues in right shoulder. Walking every day. Still have days where I am very tired (and sometimes blue) but very happy with the surgery so far. Figure the funk and tired are part of this crazy process. Scheduled for revision Aug 15th in San Antonio for nip, dog ears and to lift lefty. Crossing fingers I can get tattoo by the end of the year and take advantage of being "out of pocket max" on insurance. It is so good to catch up on what has been going on with everyone. Welcome new friends and continued prayers for each of you.
Georgie
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You girls are posting so fast and furious I can't keep up. I went for a wound check today, and they said it looks like I am doing my wet to dry correctly, and it will take time. Ugh!!!!
Lovemyboys, I am over 7 weeks out from surgery, so squats in front of the microwave is no big deal. It would have been a few weeks ago. I know a lot of people try to do them before surgery to make it easier to get up and down from the toilet right after surgery, but I had no issues with that. Did anybody else? It was a non issue for me.
Georgie, so good to hear from you. Glad you are doing well. I am having my stage 2 around the same time!! Looks like we are on the same schedule!!!! I am going to start some PT too for some ROM in my pecs. I will see how it goes. Somebody told me about door frame stretches. Every time I walk through a doorway (that's not too wide) I put my forearms on the frame and lean into a stretch. Does that make sense? It seems to help a bit. Just started yesterday.
Heidi, for two weeks out it sounds like you are doing a little too much. Take it easy girl!!!
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Trish, you are a survivor too, no doubt. If you had not found your DCIS early then things could have been worse, but just because you only had surgery does not make you any less a survivor. If not, more so. You made a choice that a lot of women don't unless "life threatening" BC is staring them in the face. Cancer is cancer. There are many here who had DCIS and chose DIEP. Nobody has ever diminished their choice, or the seriousness of their DCIS.
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I am in awe of all the ladies here. We have all had a different path here but we have all found this amazing place. We each feel and think differently, but that is the beauty of this site. I wish we lived in a judgment free world. I hope that none of us ever have to feel guilt about any part of this BC journey. I pray that we always have the strength and/or support to get through all the rough times.
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