Am I crazy???????????????

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited June 2014


    Hi Karen,

    That is my sister's name so I can remember that. I am glad you had a better day and that you were able to talk to some of your friends yesterday. I just talked to my RO this week about how long radiation keeps working after the treatments are over and she said that they are still killing the cancer cells when they are trying to divide up to two weeks afterwards. So you may still fee fatigued for a while. I think that the after treatment phase might be different for everyone too. I have been so tired and I still have these bold ideas that I can get out in the yard and work in my roses and fertilize my flowers. I did that today and it was so humid and I was dragging my tail by the time I got back inside. Obviously I have to learn to pace myself. I am out there in my sunblock hat, trying to be covered up from the sun with my special denim pattern compression sleeve feeling ridiculous but all in the spirit of taking care of ourselves! Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Take care.

    Nancy

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  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 3,728
    edited June 2014

    Bandwomen, I just got back from spa weekend with nieces :). So much fun and so many more memories made. They are a great group of kids.....mid 20's to mid 30's.  But kids to me. There is a place in barrington called bomber betty. She does customized makeup. We all had customized lipstick done She makes it all right in front of you. Sticks it in The freezer and out pops a lipstick. That was the highlight for the girls....it was so cool to she their expressions and listen to their chatter.  They are so busy with their lives, husbands, kids, one getting married etc.  they told me I am teaching them how to carve out moments for each other, and take the time to get together, laugh and have fun.  I have been taught that by older people in my life.....now I am the older person...lol.   Generations need to pass on life experiences...really fun to do. Happy I am able to do that.

    I a posting a pic of my garden...I too love it and find great peace there :) 

    image

    image

    image

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited June 2014


    Hi Susan,

    So glad you had an awesome time with your nieces. Custom lipstick ummm. Sounds interesting. I love your pics of your garden. Isn't is such fun to watch things grow and know you had a small part in the miracle of all of that. It is very therapeutic for me. When I got my diagnosis I announced to some of my gardener friends that I was not having any flowers this summer. (I usually do a ton of annuals) One friend in particular kept pressing me and pushing me and basically saying you will have some flowers and we will help you if you don't feel up to watering them. I ended up letting them take me on a "field trip" to one of my favorite nurseries and bought a few things. There was a period of time during the middle of radiation that I thought I have really made a mistake by having flowers. I was exhausted and it was a burden to water and dead head them. However tonight when I was putzing around in my flowers I truly enjoyed it. Not too many to be overwhelming but just enough to still feel like a gardener. My friend who really pushed me was very wise. She knew how important my flowers are to me.

    I think I will see my RO tomorrow for the last time for a skin check. I finish rads on Friday. That is still surreal. I have so many questions for her and I got sidetracked tonight reading up on what normal reactions are to end of treatment. I have not typed one question yet and it is after midnight. YIKES

    So tomorrow I hope to get some questions down on paper so I don't forget. I know I will see her in a month and will see my RO next week to start on the five year drug. I am so dreading that.

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful garden pics with us. I tried to put a pic of my cat on my avatar and it never did work. It had an x and said missing. Not sure if my pic was way too large to insert into that format or what.

    My desktop computer where I have most of my pics stored is temporarily dead. I have not had the energy to deal with it. I need a strong neighbor to lift it into my car so I can take it to Best Buy and have the Geek Squad take a look at it. Because of my injured shoulder I am still feeling quite disabled besides dealing with the cancer treatments.

    I could send you some pics of what my yard ususally looks like when I can finally access my big computer. I am doing about 20% of my norm as far as planting this year. At this point it is a bit late to be trying to do it all anyway and I am very fatigued and I imagine it will be like that for a while afterwards.

    So I need to be happy with the few flowers I do have. Thanks again for sending the pics and sharing your awesome time with your nieces. Special memories indeed.

     I used to be a professional clarinet player in a quintet. We played at a church in Barrington a few times. I have fond memories of those days. Because of a very serious neck surgery I had in 2001 I am not able to play anymore.  That was a very hard pill to swallow.

     Take care. I hope you have a good week.

     

     

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited June 2014

    Hi Sunshine,

    Have you heard anything from your MRI? I hope you can get a good report and that it is nothing serious. Let us know how things turn out. I hope you had a good weekend and could take your mind off of the waiting for a bit. Take care.

    Bandwoman

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  • Sunshineinky
    Sunshineinky Member Posts: 461
    edited June 2014

    Bandwoman, I did finally hear from it and I have an impingement.  Thank goodness it has nothing to do with bc and everything to do with my injury to it in February.  

    The bad thing is, I cannot get into a ortho until August! I'm hoping that a friend who is a surgeon can pull some strings for me. They said a cortisone shot would take care of it! 

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited June 2014


    Hi Sunshine,

    PTL that it is not related to the cancer. Mine has been termed a tendon impingement in the rotator cuff so it is probably something similar. It is a miracle that you have been able to have radiation and be in that position. That was my first big concern since that is the position I was in during the breast ultra sound that injured the shoulder in the first place. I was very fortunate that something opened up in PT earlier than they had thought. I got a few physical therapy sessions in before radiation started and the goal was to be able to have my arms over my head for an extended period of time. I am actually seeing two therapists and they are both lymphedema specialists. My nurse navigator wanted me to see these ladies and work on prevention of lymphedema as well as the shoulder. I wish I could tell you what I do but I do know that initially I looked online for shoulder exercises for rotator cuff injuries when they would give me exercises and I would get home and forget exactly what I was supposed to do. I would suggest looking online as well.  I did only stretching for a few weeks and then got into weights with only 1 pound weights. I sure hope that you don't have to wait until August. However your rads would be over then. The double apts for me has been exhausting. I am so thrilled that I don't have PT at all this week. They couldn't fit me in and we were waiting on insurance to approve more sessions. They wanted me to stretch my last few apts into July. I have come a long way as far as range of motion but I still can turn my arm the wrong way and about go through the roof in pain. It does take a while for this kind of injury to heal unfortunately. This is my last week of rads. I am still in that period of uncertainty of how I am feeling about that. I think I will be okay once I have the freedom of a whole day to myself during the week!!!  Hope you can find some way to get started on the healing process with your shoulder. Hang in there! I know it feels like a double whammy and it is!!!

     

    Bandwoman

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  • Sunshineinky
    Sunshineinky Member Posts: 461
    edited June 2014

    Bandwoman how has your skin held up? I'm thinking I may get an unwanted break due to skin issues. 

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited June 2014

    Hi Sunshine,

    I started turning almost gray under my arm besides the bright red. My RO a week ago said she thought my Crystal deodorant (which they told me I could use as long as it was three hours before treatment) was causing problems and asked me to refrain from using it until after treatment for each day. I also had a bad patch on my upper chest, below my breast and the nipple area. It was strange the way it all played out. Last Wed I think it was which was the last day of regular rads before the boosts my radiation tech said you did a good job of using the lotions ( I used Aquafore three times a day during the week) because your skin is holding up nicely. By Friday my nipple started looking really strange and they had the nurse look at it and she wanted my RO to look as well. The RO said the skin was breaking down and that was normal. By that night (just this past Friday night) the underarm area broke and there was like a hole in my skin and the other layer was bright red. Under the breast also started peeling. It was like it all happened on the same day. I saw my RO for a weekly skin check today. These peeling areas are not in the boost field so I am okay. However she said she wanted to see me in three weeks as opposed to a month after rads. I think she is concerned about it getting infected. She said more than once to be sure to wash my hands before putting on the Aquafore. This Friday will be the completion of 33 treatments.

    It sounds like your skin must not be happy at all if they are thinking about giving you a break. My PT told me that you will be surprised how fast those areas will start healing so hopefully if they give you a little time off that will help. How many treatments do you have left? It looks like you are just a week behind me so you probably don't have many left. I can imagine that would be vey disappointing to have to take a break but in the long run your skin will be glad you took a break if they suggest that. It might make the overall healing process a little easier too.

    Hang in there. There are bumps in this road for sure on this ride we are taking. Just think, we will both be done soon. The July 4 fireworks can be a celebration for us too!!! Take care.

    Bandwoman


     

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  • Islandgirl17
    Islandgirl17 Member Posts: 28
    edited July 2014

    I finished my rads last Monday, and I am feeling the same depression.  I had an exceptional rads team.  They were knowledgeable, compassionate and upbeat.  I think that I gained a sense of safety/comfort being there each day with a medical team.  It almost feels as though I've been "cut loose" from my daily exposure to these people who made me feel so well taken care of.

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  • bandwoman1234
    bandwoman1234 Member Posts: 5,542
    edited July 2014

    Hi Islandgirl,

    I guess what we have experienced is quite normal. I talked to my physical therapist and my RO about it and they both said this is pretty common to feel the way you just expressed. My first day off rads was the 4th of July which sort of made it worse. I sort of went through the motions that day and went to the fireworks with a friend but I was certainly not feeling in a celebration mood. I hope that you can get into a comfortable rhythm and find a new normal for you. I hope we can both do that. One thing I realized is that others who have not gone through cancer do not get it. They are expecting us to be jumping for joy at this point. Actually that is what I thought I would be doing but my emotions had a completely different idea! Hang in there. We will find that comfortable new normal and get on with our lives and live each day to the fullest.

    Bandwoman

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