Relationships falling apart

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Kiko
Kiko Member Posts: 35
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

hi friends !

I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer last year in September 2013.

I was alone here in us with my hubby and two children no friends no social contacts and no other family members .

I went through that hardcore chemo and had a bumpy ride ! I didn't tell about all this misery to my parents as they are heart patients and I didn't want to feel them miserable about me while I am thousands of miles away and even if they try to come and help me getting visa was also not a guarantee so was going through double pain .

Then my parents were planning my brothers wedding who is also a physician ,my sister who is also a physician so I had to inform them about my diagnosis so when my parents ask me to join the celebration things may not go out if hands . So I broke the diagnosis infront of them and they assure me of their support .

Then when my brothers wedding was couple of months away while I was still undergoing therapy and my mom was insisting to join both of my siblings stepped back and wanted me to break the diagnosis ..I did that but went through weeks of tremendous emotional pain . Then my mom wanted to see me so she wanted visa n for visa doctors letter and I got busy in arranging things for her as I didn't want to give her any additional stress and wanted to fulfill whatever she wished .

She came joined me ! She was a support but she always regretted that I should have informed her a little before time so she could have changed my bro wedding date I gave her green signal to go ahead.

Well around the wedding time things didn't go well and the wedding was called off.

Then my family fixed my brothers proposal with another grl . This time they didn't share anything with me rather a week ago informed me that on this date is my brothers wedding while knowing that I m undergoing radiation therapy . 

I told my mom that keep my words once my therapies get completed we all will come back home and she promised me that next time she will arrange wedding keeping me in veiw but reality proved completely changed.

Yesterday they brought the bride home day after tomorrow is celebration and I m here fighting between death and life . I have turned my phone as now I don't wanna hear anything I feel as if this cancer is a death sentence for m in terms if everything life , relations and everything .

I am extremely upset and sobbing every now and then . I never felt this terrible as I m feeling today :(.

Can such relationships be that selfish 

Kiko

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  • eric95us
    eric95us Member Posts: 2,845
    edited June 2014

    When my wife and I were planning our wedding, there was no perfect date, so we had to just pick a date and hope no one was offended.

    Since you can not go to the wedding, telephone your brother and wish him and his bride well.  Then make plans to visit them when you have recovered from your treatments.

    Since your brother is a physician, he should understand why you can not be at the wedding.

    Eric

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited June 2014

    Kiko stage 2 is NOT a death sentence but it is a huge shock, your family have been pretty damn insensitive it seems, but I agree with Eric, and if they don´t understand then that is about them not about you.........but it is incredibly hurtful that others are planning their future lives and even celebrating them while you just want to live!  Sadly many of us find out that people can be deeply selfish, but unless you have had a cancer diagnosis I really don´t think you can genuinely understand what its like on our side of the fence

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  • Kiko
    Kiko Member Posts: 35
    edited June 2014

    well Eric and lily !

    My family got to know about my diagnosis six months ago . Even at that time I told them that I will be planning visit in oct 2014 again . It's June now all they had to do was to wait three months and I don't think that was a big deal. What is more hurtful that they knew all the pain and suffering I have been going through despite that just putting me aside and going ahead seems very painful. It wasn't just me it's my whole family my husband and two little kids , if they would have honored me to involve me in their planning Offcourse I am not that cruel to stop them just for my presence but at this point I feel like as being sick I wasn't considered at any point .

    I am just avoiding them all as I am extremely heart broken and stressed out as I feel neglected and rejected by my own parents and siblings from last two days I am having severe headaches and epigastric pain so much so that I had to take oxycodone to calm myself down .

    But hard times proves who is yours and who is not ! Who truly loves you and who considers you nobody.:((

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