Husband Filing for divorce

The Young Survival Coalition is an online support group for women 40 or 45 and under.  I found it really helpful while going through treatment.  It made me feel less alone in my fears and anxiety.  I knew others were feeling similar.  

I am so sorry that your husband is the opposite of supportive.  I'm sure you're devastated.  I hope some small part of you realizes that he's not deserving of you.  Stay strong.  Love your children and let them love you. 

It makes me sad that we all have to deal with so much.  I am new to this as well. Am having reconstructive surgery  in about a week after having had a mastectomy .  My husband of 37 years moved out of our house  a few months ago  and moved in with his young  girlfriend  whom I did not know about.    He would ask me why I wasn't working,  even  while I was sick and getting chemo,  even  before he moved out.   I am still getting infusions  now and had heart problems because of the herceptin  but  he continues to ask me to earn  money by working.    I  am guessing he would rather have me dead at this point so he doesn't have to split the community assets with me. The attorney says if  we go to court he will look really bad.   I am glad he moved out.  I would rather be alone and have since replaced him with a dog who is wonderful and a much better companion. 

Our marriage was bad before I got the diagnosis of cancer but I guess I thought he would be a little understanding after I started having all the cancer treatments.  I was very wrong.  I guess once a heartless jerk, always a heartless jerk.    Now I just need to stay strong  and look out for my financial security and physical and emotional health.  Ladies,  we all need to be strong .  Like in the movie First Wives Club- don't get mad, get even.  I am now out for revenge, just want to get what the law says.  The last thing we need is more stress during this time. 

hi identtwins. My heart goes out to you. I was diagnosed with DCIS in December and just had my bilateral mastectomy.  My husband and I had already decided to divorce in November of last year but wanted to wait until after Christmas because of the kids. Then the b/c happened. He wanted to stay through surgery to help with the kids. Plus it would have been so traumatic for them to be told about the divorse and then watch their mommy go through this surgery. I was just sitting in my bed crying tonight because we had an argument and wondering why all this has to happen at once.  May I just say to please remember you are so much stronger than you feel right now.  Don't be kicked around while you're down. If he wants a divorce than he needs to leave. You and the kids need to stay in the house. It is where they need to be and certainly they need their mom with them. I can understand why your mom feels the way she does. She is angry because she sees your hurting so much.  Please please don't be manipulated into doing or signing anything right now. Please have someone take you to an attorney when you feel well enough if you can't drive yet.  I wish I could be there to help you. I'm so sorry for your pain.  But chin up! You're the fighter! Look what you've already done!  You're going to make it through this and be strong for those kids....and you're going to do it all with grace and dignity.  Often, you can also get referred to a counselor through your attorney. Do you have help right now with the kids and around the house?   Many hugs!

Hi Identwins,  I read through so many stories besides yours and it sent me back to my situation.  My husband left me 7 years before I was diagnosed with  BC for a woman our kids age. Of those 7 years, he begged me to forgive him and wanted to talk and discuss whatever was going on in my life; however he tried to hide it from the girlfriend he was talking to me. He wanted us to stay friend for our kids sake and called often. he even asked me to loan him $10,000 to start his own business. I did not loan him 10.000 but did $3,000.   When he found our had breast cancer, he called and prayed with me and tried to explain why he left me when he did.  Unfortunately, his girlfriend found out he was talking to me and he decided to keep peace with her and I became history again.   He  stop talking to me to keep peace with her; when I asked why, he told me it was complicated.  I was more hurt at this--we were married for 30 years--and when I was at my lowest fighting BC, his girlfriend forbidded him to talk to me and he listened.  We have four kids together--what is wrong with this picture.  She had an affair with him 3 years of our marriage and now she is afraid that my BC will give me some advantage.  Well, I am not mad at her ( even though I think she is the lowest kind of woman)  but I think he is a weak man for following her lead. All the stories I read doesn't surprise me.   I really don't understand the cruelty of some people.