Starting Chemo in December 2013

haha barb, I'll ask them that tomorrow! No more playing tic tac toe on my chest...Barb says so!

Sounds like I have more drawings than anyone else...I'm special? Or they are bored

I also realized how important eyelashes are...not just to make your eyes look pretty. They keep stuff out. Was walking yesterday and kept getting stuff in my eyes and you know how you are supposed to pull the top lid over the bottom to get it out..well I couldn't without eyelashes. It was so weird when I tried to do it and oh yea that's right, no eyelashes. Had to rub it and let it tear out. Little stubbles for eyelashes coming in. This hair regrowth progression is so weird

Jodi, it is possible that she has overheard people discussing cancer or that someone in school may have experienced a family member with cancer. It is a good thing that she is having this conversation. Sounds like she is just trying to make sense of it all. We find it confusing as adults and talking does help. Or typing!!

You have my prayers! Prayers for strength, peace of mind and heart, healing and courage. If I have missed something, let me know and I will add it! 

Radiation - I have marker all over me. There is tape covering it all. Both sides and chest, no tattoos. I look like someone let loose a preschooler with a sharpie! I have lines, circles and X's to mark where the boluses go, where I line up on the table and where I line up with the vac lock. A couple different colors too. 

Jodi- I'm so sorry this is happening. I hate that cancer affects the entire family not just the patient. My 9 year old cries at least one night a week. It breaks my heart.  

How old is Ellison again? Depending on her developmental age, it is normal for children to ask about mom or dad dying when they experience a death in the family. Not sure if knowing that helps or not. I'm sure a cancer diagnosis of a parent makes it even more complicated for the child. 

Does MDA have any programs your kiddos can attend while y'all are down there for rads? It has helped my girls some to have the counseling through Wonders and Worries. 

I am going to tell you that you don't suck. Cancer sucks but not you. Vent and rant away.  

Michelle,

I got a great analogy on radiation.   She said to think of it as cooking raw chicken in your kitchen.....You wipe down the counter to clean it up and remove the remnants....but you follow it with the Lysol to be sure all the bacteria is gone.

Robin, why do you think you are losing ROM? Does it have something to do with radiation and skin tightening? My L hand goes numb with the position I am in for radaition but I had some carpal tunnel, cubital tunnel (ulnar nerve compression at elbow) issues before but managed it conservatively and it was not constant. Now seems more consistent and at night is worse. My arm or hand is not swollen and I have good ROM. I have been doing some stretches and nerve glides.Will see how this goes with the overhead position. They only did 2 positions with me yesterday (the machine moved in 2 positions, one "shooting" from the R side and one from the L side I think-Ill take more note today)

Jodi, You DO NOT SUCK! youve had so much on your plate recently that it is normal to have a bad day.. or a few, just go with it. You are usually upbeat as you say and you will get back there. Take care of yourself and your kids. You are beautiful and strong. Express yourself as much as you want here. It is a safe place. One of my moto's has been "every tear you shed makes room for strength to enter" so we have to have those down days in order to get to the strong days

Helloooo to all !!

my goodness just trying to catch up on posts.

DJJ - yes it was me with the freaking fuzz face, and I went and had it threaded, ba bye.. there is still some there but nothing like what it was.

I have to say my skin is starting to feel the effects of the rads, my boob just looks tanned its a little itchy but my armpit is a different story, its sore just feels chaffed but still annoying and totally manageable.  I have 10 treatments left, getting there.  

I am glued to twitter and the TV and my phone with the shit show unfolding in my home province about an hour and a half away from home, in Moncton NB, 3 RCMP officers dead, 2 wounded, still hunting for the bastard that did this, I have family in moncton and my brother is on the search for him as he is a police official.  I am just sick about this, I cant believe this has happened.

My hubby and kids are flying up this weekend to Toronto to spend the week with me I cant wait, there is so much here for us to see and do.  

DJJ - you can do it with the tattoo, I just got another one before I came to Toronto in honour of my brother that I lost in January.  Its all script I will post a pic, I love it.  

Jody - I am sorry for these challenges you are facing with your dad, and your daughter.  My condolences to you and  your family.

I am going out for dinner tonite with a very old friend from my hometown, I am excited to see him and catch up he lives  here now.

lyrics from one his favourite songs...Ramble on Led Zeppelin... his birthdate his signature and his death...:(   man I miss him.... alot 

jb, congrats. Another chemo treatment bites the dust! Yea!

Kimie, have a good weekend with your husband and kids. I'm really worried about skin problems as I am fair and my skin burns easily. A woman in the summer rads 2014 forum from New Zealand is going to be using mepitel film to prevent skin issues from rads. I forget her name but she attached an article from a study. It's so much better to prevent than treat once there is a problem. I'm going to bring the article to my RO next week. 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24486117

Robin, good luck with the arm rom. I'm interested to know how you make out with it. Would they redo your rad position? I have this form I lay in that was custom molded around my upper body so that I'm in the exact same position each time, but it's kind of uncomfortable. But it's only for a short time. The machine is only in 2 positions and for 18-20 seconds each. I count each time when I hear the buzz of the machine start. So only 40 seconds of actual treatment time! 

I also asked about all my markings and if they were all necessary. She said she could remove a few so I don't look like a drawing from a preschooler who was let loose.

DJJ - cancer sucks....who knew?!? 

I'm okay, have a game plan! It could be worse...

JB amazing! I actually donated a bell and a framed poem that goes with it to my facility as they did not have one. I haven't seen where they put it up yet. I thought maybe they'd call me when they put it up but haven't heard from them yet. We/they didn't have one and I wanted other pts to celebrate with "the ringing of the bell, three times well..."

Robin, I ordered a color me your way book. I've loved your pictures. What do you do with them when they are done? Have you framed them?

jbokland - love that bell. What awesome friends you have. 

Lisa- where did you find the bell and poem? My facility didn't have one either. What a great thing to donate!!

holli, I found a nice bell on eBay but it wasn't mounted on anything so they'd have to mount it to a plack or just to the wall. The poem I copied from an online site and printed on nice paper and put it in a frame. I included a letter about where the tradition originated. It was at mds hospital by a army general who treated for cancer and wanted some thing to commemorate the end of treatment so came up with this idea and poem

DJJ- I also get asked if I did this on purpose. lol Some women assume that I have cancer and pray for me. I also get told I have a perfect shaped head. Guess I never would have known otherwise! Great picture! You will be there soon! I'd say within a week or 2 I went from some lashes to being able to apply mascara. I agree about the tattoos. Ouch!!

RHGSR- thank you. I am 37. Doctors are so strange. My onc had originally told me I'm "cured" but everything I've read online is that you're not actually considered cured until you make it to 5 years without a recurrence.

Lisaj- very cute! I actually liked the white stage. I was so excited just to have hair. lol I decided to be cute and try to put a clip in it on Easter and it stuck! Haha!! My Easter pictures are funny. lol. I had a hard time staying still during the rad sim. And I had no idea that the position my hands were in has to be the same exact way each time. I had all the markers too. I couldn't even see the little tattoos when she was done. I have 4 dot tattoos. 3 on the right, above, below and outside of boob and one on my left side. I didn't have to keep the markings though. ??

RobinLK- I LOVE that scene!! Every time I think of that song, it reminds me of that movie. To the window, to the wall!!

Keepthefaith- I have peach fuzz in my face and forehead too. I wonder if it will slow??

Jbokland- congrats on your last chemo!!

Charusa- congrats on a good path report! I am also numb on my underarm where my nodes were removed. Feels weird to put on deodorant.

Jodi- I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you chose to go to the hospital. Hugs! I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. The hardest part of all this is thinking of what it's doing to my boys.

Cenri--You look fantastic!  

RHG- Very heartbreaking to hear your discovery.....I am often reminded the perspective when I hear the stories of you moms out there with little ones.

Happy birthday Hollie! Pardon the spelling if incorrect. I think I may have "chemo brain." Perhaps you have heard of it!

Cenri - you do look amazing! Your little one is a cutie patootie! Prayers for a clear petscan. I am happy your MO is staying on top of all this. Sucks that you have to wait for answers again. 

Kim - welcome back to laptop land. I will get on the PT wagon again! Thank you for the info! Even when it is a small thing, and you wouldn't wish it on anyone, it is still nice to know we are not alone! Thank you on the pictures, it feels very zen when I am doing them. I love brain centered activities and they help in that respect!