Giving Back

vbishop
vbishop Member Posts: 616
edited June 2014 in ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)

Hi all -

I didn't find the discussion boards here for the longest time and felt very alone.  I wish I had someone, anyone, that I could talk to that had been through this before: what to expect, what does everything on the path report mean, recovery times, etc.  The resource center in my town, although helpful to so many women, wasn't there for me.  I only heard from my patient navigator once, and my treatment plan had already been set and underway (basically, I didn't need her anymore). I am blessed to have a great medical team that made up for all that. 

I vowed that I would provide to other women that which I craved so much in the early stages:  someone to talk to that had been through all this before.  What helps ME the most through this cancer craziness is helping other women diagnosed, whether it be by lending an ear, providing a shoulder to cry on, or sharing my story.  I also send self exam reminders every month to all the women in my life.  It makes me feel like I am doing something, even though small, to help others.

Anyone else feel the same way?  Does helping others inspire and empower you?

 

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  • MrsDarcy
    MrsDarcy Member Posts: 162
    edited June 2014

    Hi Vbishop.  Today I actually had 2 phone interviews to be a volunteer at the Canadian Cancer Society.  I am going to have one or two more interviews and hopefully if all goes well, I will be able to start this new "opportunity" to help someone fight cancer in the fall :)

    I so understand what you are feeling .. this will allow me to help someone else - although to be honest, I didn't know these services existed when I had my DX.   But that's okay - I am ready to help someone else battle this disease .. whether it be BC or something else (most probably BC as they try to team us up with a patient with similar DXs as our own).

    I was almost tears when the 2nd interview was over .. LOL .. I was sitting at the kitchen table thinking, "wow .. I can really help someone" .. it's a wonderful feeling :)

    Hugs,
    MD 

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  • vbishop
    vbishop Member Posts: 616
    edited June 2014

    MD -

    I knew we have a resource center in the Austin area and I did reach out.  Unfortunately, they didn't have anyone with my type cancer as a patient navigator.  They put me in touch with a woman about the same age as me, but by the time we touched base, I no longer needed her services.  A friend of mine had a similar experience.  But I know many local women who sing their praises.

    I am speaking with a woman recently diagnosed.  She was referred to me by a friend and just needed someone to talk to and get an idea of what to expect.  Obviously, everyone is different, but I found that we had similar experiences early on, even though our treatment plans will probably be very different.  I didn't realize how talking to her helped me as much as it helped her.  Plus, I get a new friend!

    Praying that you land the job!  It sounds very rewarding!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2014

    I mentored a woman on this board during her chemo....and adopted a monthly chemo group in 2012, after my chemo ended.  I've also helped my best friend's girlfriend who was dx a year after me, and went to her first chemo infusion with her. I do what I can when I can.

    Claire in AZ

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  • vbishop
    vbishop Member Posts: 616
    edited June 2014

    Claire -

    Thank you for reaching out and helping others.  I think that is a common pattern for all women with breast cancer...they want to help someone else, some more so than others.

    My only concern - do you ever feel that helping others will keep cancer front and center in your life?  Obviously, bc is now part of our lives and always will be in some form or fashion.  I just don't want to be defined by it, but I still want to help where I can.

     


     

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited June 2014

    Hi

    I have over the past 5 years helped a number of people through this journey-most are friends or friends of friends or colleagues.  I feel exactly as you do-- why have all this information and not share it for someone else's benefit?  I feel like I have been a great resource for many, including my best friend from college who was diagnosed a couple of years after me.  I had a power point presentation for her (that is how she learns) and we walked through all of it--she had a different type (IDC) and she was her2+ so I had to teach myself alot about those things.  

    I think having had bc has made me more aware of how many things people walk around with-- everyone has something happening in their life--health, relationships, kid problems, sick parents-- it just never ceases, just waxes and wanes.  I have a much deeper sympathy for all of humankind knowing that every day people are carrying something hard, and if not now, they will be in the future--it is unavoidable in this game of life.  

    I have thought about volunteering at the Dana Farber where I was treated, but with 2 kids and a fulltime job, just not possible to do it well.  So, this one on one approach has worked, and each year there has always been someone to work with... but I like the idea alot and believe it is good for us as well as for those we can help.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2014

    vbishop--Yes, absolutely.  Lately it seems as though I'm surrounded by the little c...I see commercials for cancer tx places on TV, hear them on the radio, and in my summer beach read a lady died of bc--after  5 years of tamoxifen (okay, fiction but still). When I feel that way I don't visit these boards often, and I haven't mentored anyone in a while.  Sometimes you just have to get out of the pool and find another place to swim....you know.

    Claire

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  • vbishop
    vbishop Member Posts: 616
    edited June 2014

    Claire -

    I think that's a great idea - find another place to swim for a bit when it gets to be too much or seems to start taking over.

    I definitely would like to act as a sounding board for those that need it or a shoulder to cry on.  But I also need to take care of me and step back every now and then.  Glad I am not alone there.

    Mom -

    It seems you go out of your way to present information to what suits each individual.  Bravo!!  What a great idea!  I like the one on one idea as well and so far that's what has happened.  Keep up the good work!  I am sure you are a blessing to many!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited June 2014

    As we see so often here in the community, support from someone who truly "gets it" can make such a difference for those dealing with breast cancer. Members' contributions here, in real life, giving a listening ear or a hug, however you help, someone is benefiting.

    Thank you all.

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