Finding Support? Where? We Did/Do Have Cancer, Right?

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teachermom4
teachermom4 Member Posts: 101
edited June 2014 in Stage II Breast Cancer
Finding Support? Where? We Did/Do Have Cancer, Right?
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  • teachermom4
    teachermom4 Member Posts: 101
    edited May 2014

    Hi Everyone,

    I don't know how everyone is feeling, but hopefully someone can relate, at least a bit?! I've attended several sessions of a cancer support group in my city but I don't feel like I belong at all! The other women in the group are terrific and wonderfully kind and informed; however they are all in much later stages of their cancer and understandably have much different needs. They have never made me feel this way, but I feel like I shouldn't say anything about my situation. For example, I feel silly complaining about my TEs and worrying about the redness that I see on my left breast, in light of their issues. In fact, I don't know where to get support! I feel like  shouldn't need any, but I do! I am Stage IIa and had bmx but I feel like I shouldn't complain. We all did/do have cancer right? Anyone else have a similar experience/thoughts?

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited May 2014

    That is why I like BCO, with all the different forums, threads etc. you really can find people who are talking about pretty much exactly what issues you want to address. My town is so little that they just have a 'general' cancer support group, which (while it works for many) didn't do anything for me. I don't really want to hear some guy talk his specific prostrate cancer woes, and am sure that he is not to interested in the details of BC treatments, SEs etc. So, if you want a face to face support group and live in a big city, I imagine you could ask at your clinic what different groups are meeting in your area. If you are in a little town and want a specific support group, you might have to start one yourself through word of mouth.

    *edited because I just noticed that you are in Chicago....ask your cancer center, I would think there would be lots of options.

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  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited May 2014

    I get it. I had so many "Scenic Detours" on my cancer journey, that for a Stage 1 person makes me a definite outlier! I am almost at 2 years PFC and only now getting back to almost normal. Even my MO didn't release me for work from chemo tx until 8 months PFC. Then my knees are so bad I couldn't work then either but they wouldn't operate on me because I had so many problems. I am finally getting my Knee done this June so getting back to where I was 3 years ago. In my cancer Support group all but 1 other person, are on their 2nd bout! Kinda of depressing. That's why I like BCO. I can always find someone similar to me so I don't feel like a real freak!. Much love

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  • Lissee
    Lissee Member Posts: 40
    edited May 2014

    teachermom4- the same thing happened to me.  I felt like a fresh water fish in a salt water tank.  In addition, I didn't have the capacity or desire to share.  There were women there that had been going for years......  some talking about hair regrowth, and color for 30+minutes.   I'm not sure about the benefit, but for me it was a waste of time, and quite frankly, having breast cancer was one thing, constantly reliving the horrendous details was just too much.  

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited June 2014

    teachermom - I joined a group at my church. They are the nicest most caring ladies. Not a large group but just enough people to bond. No one in our group has late stage BC but we did lose a lady a few months ago. Her daughter is also n the group. She had other issues from the onset of her DX so she was already in the minus column. Her BC spread to her lungs. She was already dealing with diabetes and COPD. It was sad and gut wrenching. I would check with the hospital or doctors who did your surgery. I was assigned a patient advocate who was great. Diane 

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