Fatigue, Depression, Guilt about DCIS - Help!

Yeah, Lilyluv!  Welcome back.  I was absent here for a while, too.  The past few weeks had been quite busy for me both at the office and homefront, on top of trying to get exercise every night after work to get myself stronger and prepared for my next bout sometime July.  I am actually sill busy now, so I'd be out of touch mostly.  

I am glad to hear that you had a fun trip.  Don't worry about your body's ups and downs.  Before you know it, you will be back to your normal self... or maybe even better.  

Meanwhile, here's wishing everybody the best weekend ever-- "Happy Mother's Day, you all!"   

Hey there ladies! I had a nice Mother's Day- I did nothing.

I am back on the Lyme roller coaster and my WBC is low again. My llmd is not sure if it is more meds, or rads or just my body still struggling.Probably a combo of all 3. I am still not able to go back to work yet which is super-frustrating as well.

But at least the weather has been warmer here in NJ and I have been able to get out and do some gardening before I poop out

Hope that your eye heals quickly!

Hi I have just been diagnosed with DCIS, 6 weeks from my first mammogram I have been told even tough its non invasive it is widespread. I am booked in for a Mastectomy in 4 week. I like so many of you, I cant believe how extreme this is for something that's "not really cancer". I understand why my breast needs to go, and i can have it reconstructed in 6 months. I just feel sick and pissed off that its happened to me! I have been feeling tired for a while prior to prognosis were any of you the same? x Sara

Hi Sara, I totally get the sick and pissed off feeling. I was more aggravated with "One More Thing" to deal with than I think I was fearful or worried.  But  my DCIS was very localized and I was able to just have a lumpectomy, so that is a different experience.

I can't say whether my fatigue was due to the cancer or not. I had been feeling very crummy for a long time before, but I also have Lyme disease so its very hard to separate out what's what. But I would imagine that the fatigue could be from an immune system response to the cancer?

Hi, all!

Lily, glad to hear you're doing good despite of the many challenges you've had these past days.  I know it's tough, Sara and Faerywings, too especially, but even with just DCIS in our records, people must understand we go through a lot as well-- possibly more psychologically.  As the docs are in awe of what DCIS might and might not be, and more so US!

I hope all will be well with you Sara when you have your mastectomy.  Not to scare you or anything, but mine went not so well only because the breast tissue taken out from me tested for positive margins, and therefore on my next surgery, when supposedly it will only be reconstruction, my BS would have to go back in and scrape off more to ensure clear margins before reconstruction can proceed.  And if there will be too much to scrape off, my RS says he may not be comfortable continuing with the reconstruction.  In other words, wait again... in the meantime that my boobies now are ughhhhh so feeling tight already.  I had my last saline shots on my L /R boobies 2 weeks ago, and boy, I feel like my bras will be snapping out any minute certain times of the day and night.  I don't know what triggers the tightening, but it's definitely more frequent now than before.  Probably because my chest has reached its max in expanding and yeah--- just feeling so ready for the swap.

I am just waiting on my surgery schedule for now, but labs for my oncology visit in 2 weeks has already been booked.  Wish me luck!--

Anyhoo... I think you're right about the docs, Proudtospin.  After all that's been said, I really feel we shouldn't worry too much about anything that we can't do anything about.  As they say--

"Live Life to the Fullest: Eat well... Live well... Stay active.... Be happy!!!"   

Well mamo is done, no results yet as they will mail them to me.  Since I am 6 years out, I am not considered special anymore!

Still get nervous though.

I agree Dawn, wish they could figure out which DCIS is dangerous so we all do not need to be butchered and burned!

MereMere - After what you have been through, I would say you are a survivor! 

I've been feeling this way myself since my BMX with DIEP on June 10.  I had my final pathology, with high grade (3) DCIS in one breast, and they found LCIS in the other breast.   Which,  along with other things confirmed for me that for me,BMX with DIEP was the right decision.  I didn't want to live my feeling like I was waiting for the ball to drop before my check in 3 or 6 months.  

I have a lot of feelings of gratefulness, luck, etc, that it was found because it was a total fluke (pathology after breast reduction in March of this year).  Then the what-if's come into play.  I'm not sure how they caculate risk totally, but with the LCIS, my other factors, the oncologist said I had a 68 % chance of it develpping in the other breast if I had left it (I was initially only diagnosed with DCIS in the one breast).  The LCIS was found on MRI, but was confimed at pathology.  I had clear margins, negative lymph nodes, etc.  So, I'm considered cured, although will be monitored yearly to check on the few remaining breast cells left next to the skin (as they can't get them all).  

The last 75 days since I have found out have been such a whilewind, that I don't think I've processed a whole lot of it.  

Not that she can say for sure, but my oncologist felt my diagnosis would have been much different if not for the reduction finding it.  I'm only 41, and regular screening doesn't start until late 40s in Ontario.  I have dense and cystic breasts, that were mammo and u/s in my mid to late 20s, so I don't always take self exam seriously, as I often found bumps.  I also had an elevated prolactin issue since my early 20s, so nipple discharge was normal for me.  THen through in b/fing and pregnant for almost 10 years, that just seemed normal.  So, things that would cause some to have alarm, didn't really registrar with me.  Etc, etc, etc.  

I feel blessed to have found it when I did.  It still feels very surreal.  Yet, since diagnosis, speaking with many women directly, or people who know someone, and reading the more advanced forums on here, it's hard not to feel a bit guilty that I found out at this point, and others didn't.  It's a sucky disease, and seems to becoming more prevalent.  On the other hand, I didn't need further treatment, but I faced an 11 hour surgery, 5 day hospital stay, long recovery at home from the DIEP/BMX.  THose are certainly not "minor things".  I get bothered by having lost my nipples,  as the DCIS was so involved,  yet when I think of someone with a more advanced stage, worrying about nipples seems petty.  I will have that surgery later in the year.

I'm totally all over the board emotionally on this, if you can't tell.    It helps to talk about it.  Thanks for letting me vent here as well.

Also, even though I was told it was a 12 week recovery or so, I feel more normal at times.  It's only been 4 weeks, so I feel good, but the good doesn't last, and then I need to rest.  I feel like I should be doing more.  I'm a single mom, with 5 kids with a not very helpful ex, so I've had to have a lot of help.  I feel guilty for all the help.  Especially now, as I look like at time, fairly normal.  But then I need to go rest.  Not sure if it's the surgical recovery, the lingerin effects of 12 hours of surgery, depression, etc.  The mental effort involved to do the simpliest of tasks is exhausting still.