Starting Chemo April 2009

Great news. Thank you so much for writing the update. Love to your daughter (and you of course) and keep us updated. We're all virtual grandmas here!

Wonderful news Geri!  I will keep your family in my daily prayers.

My Mom donated her body to medical research and over the weekend I got the letter that she had been cremated and her ashes were ready to be picked up.  I will go get her tomorrow afternoon and bring her home for now.  She told me to take some of her insurance money and scatter her ashes in the waters off Bermuda.  Maybe I'll get to do that next spring or summer.

So I'm trying to stay upbeat and not get too morose or down this week.  It seems that each week, something happens that reminds me she's really gone.  I have to pull my energy and resolve together and clear out her condo so I can sell it this summer.  So far I've only been able to drag myself over there once a week to get the mail.

This is a process, and a journey.  Be we all know about processes and journeys!  So one day, sometimes one moment, at a time, I know I'll be ok!

Oh Judy how my heart sank when I read your words. I know we should wait to see the doctor and not let our minds jump ahead, but I also know that is impossible. So the best I can say is - try to stay busy, distract yourself, and let the hours pass by. When you see the doctor, you will get some answers.

Please write back when you have seen the onc. My heart is with you every moment.

In love, sisterhood, and support and with ONE BIG HUG - Amy

Judy, sending fervent prayers your way. 

Judy!  Thinking of you!

Oh Judy I am so glad the doctors think that is what it is.  I did wonder if it had something to do with your recent reconstruction and hoped that was the case. Yes, the waiting is the WORST (as we all know) and we are right here with you, counting down the days. From the way I look at it, within 2 weeks you will have the biopsy done and the results back.

I was just talking to someone this morning and we were agreeing that when you have been waiting for medical news and are very tense, that even when the news comes and it is good, you DO NOT immediately relax - that it takes your system a few days to fully absorb it, let go of the level of stress you have been living under, and get past it.

So while it is great that the doctors are confident that this is nothing serious, give yourself a few days to absorb that and hopefully your level of anxiety will gradually come down.

And we are all with you, hoping/praying that in 2 weeks this will just be a memory and nothing more.

Love Amy

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. It is a true comfort to know that I have you standing by my side. I am really hoping this is nothing to worry about too.

Hope you are all doing ok and Geri, I hope your daughter is feeling well.

Sending you all much love for the weekend, hugs to you all, Judy x

sorry I haven't been writing.  Things are not very stable with my daughter, as her blood pressure is very high on a lot of medication, and she's only 8 weeks pregnant, so she has a long way to go.  I am vy worried for her and the baby. She sees the hi-risk OB tomorrow.  She's very stressed and depressed...not a good way to experience a pregnancy.  We will see what this doctor says.

Judy - my prayers for what I am sure will be a negative biopsy, but I know the worry doesn't go away until you get that report.

I hope everyone else is doing well

Geri

Hi all,

Geri, sending prayers and good thoughts your way. I hope that things improve for your daughter and that she can begin to feel well and happy and enjoy her pregnancy.

I had my biopsy this morning; I found it so traumatic. The doctor was very sensitive and understanding and was still cautiously optimistic, but as you know, until we see the results with our own eyes.....thank you all for your support and good thoughts, it really helps me through the day. I will let you know when I hear from the hospital.

Have a good Sunday everyone and I will come by again soon.

Hugs to you all, Judy xxx

Hi all, I have still not heard anything from the hospital. I was in touch with my Oncologist after the biopsy and she said to be in touch with her at the beginning of next week. These past few weeks have been so long for me; I really do need a break. I feel very worn down from all the stress.

My daughter is making slow progress, but it will take time for her to be back on track.

Geri, I was happy to read that your daughter is feeling happier this week. We will keep you all in our hearts and prayers and hope that the ride will be smooth for her and all of you. My eldest was born on 25th December! Around the same time that we celebrate Chanukah, so she has always enjoyed two sets of gifts .

Helen, how are you feeling? How is your shoulder and back?

Hope you all have a good weekend; I will let you know when I have any news.

Hugs to you all and thank you for your support, Judy x

Hi ladies, well today, I spoke to the Oncologist and she confirmed that the lump is a Fat Necrosis and we have nothing to worry about! I am so relieved! I was convinced that it was going to be bad news.

She said that we just have to keep an eye on it; I have a scheduled MRI and a check up in September.

I cannot thank you enough for being so supportive, you are all a rock for me and I am so appreciative to have you all in my life.

Geri, how is your daughter doing? And how are you? I hope everyone is doing ok. Happy birthday Ruby! I don't know where the time goes, but we should only share good times!

Helen, how are you feeling?

I am sending you all hugs with a deep sigh of relief tonight.

Judy x

Good news, Judy. I also have some lumps that are probably fat necrosis. They appeared along with the DIEP surgery. 

Amy, congrats on Ruby's 1st birthday.  

Geri, hope your daughter's pregnancy is improving.

I doing ok. My shoulder still hurts but the massage therapy is helping. But I'm totally off my healthy diet and exercise. Don't know why but I can't get myself motivated again.

hey all...thinking of you. I made it to my five year mark but got depressed that I'm still on the every six month watch. I guess my second cancer reset the onc clock. So I have three more years of every six months. 

I started another research study throughout OHSU. It is a study for post chemo women (not just bc but any cancer). It focuses on balance issues. Did you know women that have gone through chemo tend to fall more as they age? The study focuses on the effects of three different exercise programs. I'm in the Tai Chi class and love it. It causes my leg a little problem, as I'm still dealing with edema, but it's wonderful. At least I feel like I'm doing something positive. The other programs are strength training and flexibility training. We didn't get to pick our class, it was totally random.

Sounds like there have been lots of struggles and joys in everyone's lives. I'm happy to celebrate life with you ladies. Hugs to all.

Betsy 

Betsy, so nice to hear from you! Your study sounds interesting. We are all certainly dealing with lots of issues, both good and not so good in our lives; I am so grateful for all of you ladies.

Helen, glad to read that your shoulder is a little better but also sorry to read about your ex husband.

Geri, how is your daughter feeling? Amy, how was Ruby's first birthday?!!

I am doing ok; still struggling with my daughter, but there is definite improvement. I am finding myself very low a lot of the time and I cry a lot. I know that I need some sort of help, but I just don't know what would be best for me. I don't feel like sitting in a room and talking to someone. Just not sure how to move forward.

As always, very thankful that I am able to come here and talk to you all.

Hugs always, Judy x

Happy Birthday to Canada! I saw a lot of Canada Day treats on Pinterest and didn't know why. (Do you ladies use Pinterest? I find it a LOT of fun, and enjoy browsing it at nights when I can't sleep...)

Ruby's first birthday was fine. Fun party and all is well there. I continue to enjoy my Th/Fr time with her - cannot believe it has been a year already that I have been doing it. Time goes SO FAST!

Judy - I thought this line you wrote was powerful: I know that I need some sort of help, but I just don't know what would be best for me.  I think that is a good starting point. Maybe you could ask your onc or surgeon (or any friend or health practitioner that you trust) and see what type of support IS available where you are. I find for me, that when I am not sure what direction to go, if I get a lot of info on my options, then usually ONE choice out of the group seems to resonate with me, like "Yes, that's it" and I will explore in that direction.  I know that the 'low' feeling can lead to being stuck or paralyzed and not having the motivation to do that research, but I am really encouraging you to do so and it could be the doorway to better times ahead. Whether a pharma solution, a group, talking, exercise, meditation, I don't know - or even a combination of some of those (or something entirely different) - I really don't want more time to slip by with you feeling this way. I don't want the bc to steal even more than it already has.

Helen - I feel for your family about your ex's dx. I know that even though you are divorced, the connection does not end, when you have children together. My ex's suicide attempt last year impacted all of us (me included) very deeply. I hope things go well for him, and your kids. On that note -  My ex has just relocated BACK to Colorado to be with a woman.  My kids were sad that he moved away (again)- it is 2000 miles, and he will not have funds to travel back here very often. They feel he has chosen a woman over them, which, unfortunately seems to be the truth. My daughter knows that Ruby will not really know him. I feel their sadness, but there is nothing I can do.

Love to everyone. Geri - how are things there? 

Amy