Hi, I am very sorry for what you have gone through. How can that happen in the US or other nation wih first world medical system (if you are there)? Shocking.

I would get legal advice about suing, to cover the costs of reconstruction and pain and suffering, including counselling. Would this help? I think you need more than emotional support after what you have been through.

When they wrote the law about insurance companies having to cover reconstructive surgery I believe it was worded so that if insurance company pays for mastectomy they will also have to pay for reconstruction. It may not be easy but you should get reconstruction if you want it.

I sure am sorry. Since (I think) you are saying you have run out of time and can no longer sue the doctors, then there is little to do other than move forward. I am sure you much have a lot of anger and sorrow inside of you and both are harmful to you. I would think therapy would be a good start, but saying this, I also realize who can pay for that? I know many insurances don't cover it.

There is an amazing support group on facebook called Flat & Fabulous, you may consider joining because I think you will see many women there happy with their flatness...and quite a few have had breasts removed to prevent cancer. That is how I would try to wrap my head around it if I were you, something bad happened (cancer diagnosis) and you did what you needed to do to live (get breast removed).

It was not your fault so time to learn to be merciful to yourself. And learn to love the life you have now.

What a truly terrible time you have had. I would have to agree with the others who have posted here that there must be something you can do.

I am not from the US but another member on these boards, from the US had been told that once Dx, she could only have one breast removed, even though she wanted to have both removed. I had read about a new rule in the US which stated that a woman could not be denied a prophy for the sake of symmetry. When she investigated further, she found that even though her surgeon had told her she could only have a UMX, she was indeed, entitled to have a BMX which she had, and is doing very well.

My point in mentioning all this is that I would be very surprised if that rule would not apply to you, with reference to the reconstruction you were unable to have at the time of your Umx. It should still be available to you. Do you have a Doctor who would be an advocate for you, with the insurance company? 

I can imagine that you have been through so much that you feel just sick and tired of trying to get to the bottom of it all. I would think there would be a paper trail of your original surgery and Dx. Even if the results have disappeared from the original Doctors, surely there are still records with the Insurance Company, or the labs where the Pathology was done etc. There must be a way you can get what you are entitled to, even if litigation is not something you can or even want to pursue. 

I wish you all the very best.

i was going to post to suggest your old insurance company should have copies of your records. 

You sound to me like you feel totally disempowered and maybe taking some action in the next six months would empower you, whether for reconstruction or prophy removal of remaining breast or just compensation and i dont believe there is no one willing to litigate for you? Can your old insurance company help you? The more you write the more it sounds likeyour doctors   panicked and over reacted. And you soubd like you need to do something to reckaim enough power to ve in a position to make choices

I agree, You have had to deal with so much, but you still have time to get a claim started. I am sure you are very overwhelmed but by taking action, you are going to know and see the strong woman inside of you.

Is there any place on this board for women facing malpractice lawsuits? I don't know, maybe someone will know and you can get some support here.

How are you doing?

Tiphphinne

Although I'm not in your situation but I can certainly empatize and agree with the others that there should be a lawyer somewhere willing to take your case. I am currently suing my doctors and hospital because when I went in for surgery on my femur and stage IV was diagnosed they put an IV on my right hand which had lymphodema and the IV infiltrated. The hospital has been putting the brakes on releasing records and there is no actual "proof" of wrong doing but according to my lawyer and to my daughter who is studying law there is something called "res ipsa loquitor" which means that the "damage" wouldn't exist in the abscence of negligence. So even if the records don't show it a trial by jury would probably still fail in our favor. I agree with the others, is not about the money so much as feeling you are doing something to empower yourself.

On the "flatness" issue I too had a uni and chose no reconstruction. I realize you didn't get to choose exactly but I want you to know that even after my surgery and inspite being older (49 at the time) my then boyfriend still found me attractive. It's a matter of attitude I think.

And on to the subject of attitude. I also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and take anti-depressants and mood stabilizers and go to therapy. I'm not suggesting anything like that in your case but something more like a "temporary" set back and your emotions and attitude may improve with some therapeutic help.

Hope you can find your strength and will to fight for your mental, physical and emotional well being. Hugs and Prayers.

Aurora