Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

Amazon, the extreme exhaustion, dizzy spells, and pulsating sensation sounds exactly like how I felt during chemo (and for a good three weeks after) when my hemoglobin was low. It also made me cry a lot. I still don't know if all the crying was frustration and fear about feeling SO bad or if there is something about being low on hemoglobin that makes a person weepy, but I do know that I was the perfect picture of utter misery there for a while.

Amazon  - so sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope your blood test will give you some answers. Hang in there!

Hey Amazon -- I hope things seem better today.  I take my iron supplement once a day.  It's Nature Made and says "65 mg Equivalent to 325 Ferrous Sulfate."  

nice cupcakes!  My family would LOVE those!  my daughter is a cupcake monster! 

I'm glad your bloodwork was good, maybe it's just the radiation...??

I'm looking at things on facebook more as it's easier for me to see....

Going for my ct scans tomorrow and I might need to break out the old Ativan...praying nothing on them!!!  Then to wait for days til results, I'm SOOOO OVER all of that...do not EVER want to do it again..

Hope you all have a great week !

hi everyone: after a little over two months from chemo my fingernails are acting out, yes I was feeling tingling after chemo. After I washed dishes and after cleaning my fridge, I tried opening a small bottle part of my nail came off. That grosses me out. I didn't feel any pain it's just the thought. My husband said phone the hospital and ask them to cut it out for you. I phoned them but they said wait till Monday to get it cut properly. When I hung up I had a good cry. 😂😰😢 just so sick of all this. I decide to cut it myself after I had a good cry. I talk to others who had chemo and they said "you will lose some of them but they will all grow back. At the end they will grow properly so you will get better but it's progress. To be honest I don't like losing my fingernails. I used to love having long nails. On the other hand, I just love feeling my hair lol😊👍it's like touching my husband's whiskers after it start to grow

Ellen you should definitely post!

Phebe, 11 weeks PFC and my big toenail just came completely off.  Very freaky feeling and it looks like the other will soon.  My fingernails have been weird for awhile but this was a shock.

Well said Lisa!!!!!

smrlvr, I have a good outlook in my SANE moments lol. I have my share of worry moments too, believe me. 

This week I feel tossed back into the whirlwind. Echocardiogram today. Port removal scheduled for in the morning (we have to be there at 6:15!)  Then just a few minutes ago my RO's office called and said they want me there at 3:30 tomorrow to get a few more films and start radiation. Fun part is that my port removal is going to be "with a margarita in my IV," so my preference would most likely be to come home and sleep all day. It's going to be a long day....but, my husband has stuff he can work on at home tomorrow so he'll be here to drive me to both appointments (and to make sure I'm actually awake to go to the RO's office,) so I reckon I'm good to go. After that my regular radiation schedule starts on Wednesday; I asked for mornings and she gave me 11:00, which is going to split all my days in half for the next 6 or however many weeks, but oh well.

Let's get this (next) show on the road!

Hi, I did a search for blurred vision which is worsening on me here. Your post popped up.   I finished chemo last Oct. but still on Herceptin and arimidex.  What did your ophtalmologist say about the blurred vision?  Mine comes and goes but is worse reading and on the computer.  I am thinking of stopping the arimiodex for a while as I have slowly noticed the joint pain, weight gain, general aches increase.  Now I am wondering if the vision changes are also attributable to arimnidex?  I never had the blurred vision, like someone rubbed vaseline in my eyes, while on TCH.  Have two more herceptins.  Don't know what to make of it.  Thanks.  Let me know.  Am worried but just need a bit of guidance.  

Phebe- my nails are still white lined and bumpy and I'm 16 weeks PFC, I'm keeping them coated with sally Hansen strong nails as they split or crack with the slightest provocation.

I am still waiting CT results, I say still, had them taken yesterday, but cannot stand the what ifs in my mind, trying not to let that in but it keeps coming up...Hate waiting for results..!!!

smrlvr- I'm like you and needing to be constantly busy or get worried....trying to relax and enjoy and start over...I was doing great actually til I had to do these scans...!!!  I almost would rather NOT know if it's going to be something bad...so who knows why I went along with the MO saying we needed to redo them...I think she wanted to reassure me and settle the liver spot issue once and for all, so hoping all is good...wondering WHEN they will call me!!! 

Getting an ultrasound tomorrow of my subclavian vein...had swelling and issues since port in and then removed...they are thinking the chemo damaged my vein??  Or he said I could have a blood clot!  NICE! 

I don't have one thing going on today except laundry and I already worked out and showered, I NEED more to do!!  I cannot stand idle time..!  Wishing I wouldn't have closed my boutique, it did give me something to do every day...darn....

I am officially 'off the wig/hat phase and topless' - going everywhere without anything on!  It's in the 90's here and I cannot imagine having anything covering my head out in that!  I have gotten some looks but don't even care anymore!  so there! 

Wishing you all well, and I will post when I know my results!  I KNOW they are good!

drove to work today (150 miles round trip) and worked a full day and am now utterly wiped out.  Gah! Done with fatigue and bone pain already.

Hi Ladies,

Ellen/Lisa - You raise an interesting point, that I had also been thinking about. As we move through the various stages of 'care' associated with BC treatment, and become 'better' the question comes up, what next? Undoubtetly we have all been effected in ways other than physical. (I had a heck of an anxiety attack at Home Depot yesterday, my second in a month, and I have never ever had an enxietty attack in my life prior to this so I know it's effected me....). That said, I cannot accept that I had BC and am now recovering from BC for purely negative purposes. I suspose this might be where we all consider our spiritual or philosophical beliefs, but ultimately doesn't it dependant on us, as individuals, to make this into something that allows us to be better overall, and we recognize it as a positive as we move forward?

I know this is rather heady stuff for Wednesday morning, but I feel like I have a window, where I still remember how bad chemo was, and how close I felt to not wanting to keep going, and the moments now, when I am feeling so much better, and have the motivation and committment to make BC a good thing. It feels like before long, life will take over and I will forget how valuable life is, and take it for granted again. I don't ever want that to happen again.

Anyway, I'm not sure how others feel about this. I know I don't want to be someone who makes BC into the bane of my existance (although, for the last year has been, and still is, the bane of my existance...). I want to look back 5 years from now and think how BC was a wake-up call allowing me to make difference choices, allowing more meaning in my life.

I'd be really interseted in what others think of this. Maybe I'm just going a bit crazy....

Audra - I TOTALLY relate to hating for results. I think I'd rather have a boob removed than wait for another CT result. (I'm waiting for pathology from my surgery right now too...)

Quirky - 150mi drive for work? GOOD for you!! I find driving is one of the hardest things to do, and I use to put on over 60 000km a year on my car, so I use to drive a lot. I hope your feeling better. That is crazy stressful driving, when you feel like crap.

Phebes - I too have the fingrrnail thing happening. My hands look like that of a witch, with cracked and serously ugly nails and they are all seperating from the nail beds. It is a constant reminder what I still have a ways to go to get back to 'normal'. Phebes, like, bec, I too clip mine short to help save them from falling off.

smlvrl/ellen/All - Heres my spontaneous tears story - I was at Home Depot and look down and realize I left the house without 'preparing' as I was in a hurry. I had on sandels that showed my broken, green and missing toenails, a sweater that was open enough to show my bag-o-blood from my drain from my Mast, and my pants where dirty as I was in the garden an1/2 hour earlier and couldn't stand due to boob pain from surgery. (I had to go on my knees in the mud, to get a grip to get myself to my feet). I also had on a hat, not my wig and  I was hot flashing. And I did not have on any boobs so was concave in the boob area. As the girl at the cash rang me through, she was suddenly really really nice. I figure she must of either thought of me as a homeless person with bad hygiene, or as a cancer patient. Anyway, the pity hit me hard. I went to the car and cried. And cried. And to make matters worse, I forget to get what I went to the store for in the first place.... I know things will get better, but I still really hate it when I feel pity from others.

Amazon - Glad your feeling better - I love carrot cake - Send some of those my way!

I hope all are having a good day minus the spontaneous tears!

JAB

JAB - I'm having the same philosophical questions these days.  I don't want the insights I've gain from this experience to be lost or wasted.   I'm growing a soft bunny pelt on my head.  

you're so funny, Ellen.  I like winner. Survivor sometimes makes me feel like I've been rescued from a boat lost at sea. Although cancer treatment is definitely something you survive!