Worrying and Trying to Pray

Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Prayers and Spiritual Support
I'm one year and 3 months from my diagnosis. Had a muga scan on Wednesday to check how things are going while on herceptin and the tech questioned me, wasn't I having a bone scan as well. Onc. didn't request it, so no. But immediately the brain goes to "did you see something, do I need one?".

Saw my family doctor on Thursday for a routine check up, including blood work, discussed fatigue, etc. and she suggested checking thryoid (even before I did).

Came home 20 minutes ago from grocery shopping to find a message from my family doctor's office on my machine, "this is Dr. xx office calling, please call us as soon as possible."

Of course my mind has gone to all the worst case scenarios, and I suppose that will always be the "default" now. They of course are now gone for the weekend and the answering service kindly told me "if it's urgent, they'll call you back."

Once we enter this land of cancer, we think we've handled our fear, but it seems we've only "managed" it, until the next comment is made, or test is run and the fear comes back front and centre.

Please keep me in your prayers. I'm hoping it's just my doctor being as thorough as she is and calling to let me know one way or the other about the thyroid, and nothing else. Meantime, people who aren't on this journey don't realize how their actions impact. If it was nothing so urgent that I needed immediate medical care I'd have been happier had her receptionist left the call until Monday. I'm just going to try and calm myself by working with the "no immediate news is good news theory" and hope I can somehow lose this boulder that is sitting in the pit of my stomach, and try not to jump every time the phone rings.
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited August 2006

    (((((((((FOOTPRINTS)))))))))) WHEN YOU SAW ONLY ONE SET...... IT WAS THEN THAT I CARRIED YOU... you, my sweet sister now and always in my prayers. BELIEVE!!!! debby

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006
    (((((((((((((((((Sherry)))))))))))))))))))))))I will keep you in my prayers as always!!! Try not to worry to much...your right about dr.s offices not seeming to understand how stressful their "messages" can be.
    Big hugs
    Vickie
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006


    {{{{{{{{{{{{{ Sherry }}}}}}}}}}}}}



    sending healing light a love

    understand exactly what you said and how you feel.

    gentle hugssssssssssssss

    rhymeee
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  • bearlysane111
    bearlysane111 Member Posts: 735
    edited August 2006
    Hi there,Sherry!
    I just saw this and you are definitely on my list wishing you only good thoughts. I just know that it is the office craziness and wish the drs would not even call when no one is available. You are always there for everyone else, and there are so many here who are wishing the same for you.
    Take care of yourself and the weekend will be over before we know it--easier said than done. However,I am there with you,in spirit, and thanks for letting us know.

    All the best to you always,
    Iris
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Oh my gosh Sherry I just saw this sweetie !
    Stay busy , eat chocolate , have a glass of wine, eat more chocolate rent a funny movie, drink more wine...
    I am saying a prayer right now for you that God will help
    you calm your fears ~

    Did I say eat chocolate?

    love,
    Carrie

    image
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  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited August 2006
    Sherry,

    You are in my prayers.

    lini
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006
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  • susanmcm
    susanmcm Member Posts: 1,324
    edited August 2006
    Hi Sherry
    Prayers are on their way. I sure wish it was easier to keep all this in perspective for all of us. Someone here once said she assumes that it's nothing until she hears different. Wish I could remember who that was. Also wish I could figure out how to do that!!!!

    Things are good. Your doctor is just being thorough. Sending you happy thoughts for a great weekend.

    Susan
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006

    (((((Sherry)))))

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  • Sierra
    Sierra Member Posts: 1,638
    edited August 2006
    Hi Sherry:

    Sheesh.. I am so sorry to hear this
    and well know.. the feeling about
    waiting on the phone call and when
    phone rings.. etc.. the lump in the
    stomach..

    Not much you can do, with they way they
    have left it, my goodness, how aggravating

    Plse know that tonight, I have a
    big prayer list here, and you
    will be right up at the top

    I always get my thryroid checked
    it is a very good idea to do so

    and also. re the bone scan
    Id have to look it up
    as to whether I had one
    My onc would NOT ORDER too many
    tests after all TX (ac and taxol)

    ((((Sherry)))
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006
    Still praying for you sweety...wish I could post pictures...maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow.
    More big hugs
    Vickie
    I'll check with you in the morning.
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited August 2006

    SHERRY, go sweetie to the LIGHT you will find much comfort there~~your pain is my pain, together we will pray, FATHER IT IS YOUR PROMISE, THAT WE SHALL RECEIVE!! i pray for this sweet sister, you give her the results she seaks, and that you hold her in YOUR MIGHTY HAND, so she will not be afraid, AMEN. WITH SOOOO MUCH LOVE, your sister debby

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006
    image

    A flower from my garden to cheer you.
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006

    Hey...I did it!

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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited August 2006
    Quote:

    I'm one year and 3 months from my diagnosis. Had a muga scan on Wednesday to check how things are going while on herceptin and the tech questioned me, wasn't I having a bone scan as well. Onc. didn't request it, so no. But immediately the brain goes to "did you see something, do I need one?".



    That tech either has a big mouth or was just being a really good advocate for you because she knows that we all need a bone scan to check out our bones....
    Don't think she can see your bones or a spot on them by MUGA.

    Quote:

    Saw my family doctor on Thursday for a routine check up, including blood work, discussed fatigue, etc. and she suggested checking thryoid (even before I did).



    Hooray! A doctor with a clue! That is good Sherry. Do you know how we have to normally hound them to check for this???


    Quote:

    Came home 20 minutes ago from grocery shopping to find a message from my family doctor's office on my machine, "this is Dr. xx office calling, please call us as soon as possible."



    If your bloodwork came back with your thyroid levels and they were low or high they could be calling you to get you started on the meds.

    If they didn't draw the blood for the thyroid the doc could have said "make sure you call Sherry Divine Designing Diva to set up a blood test at the lab"

    If none of the above you left your Ipod in the office.

    Of course you have planned every single worst case scenario. That is CANCERLAND living. People just don't get it. They think we are sailing away ~ happily done with treatment~ like we just got over the flu.... NOT. We are looking over our shoulder constantly. And we always will and we cannot help ourselves.

    Of course it would be nice if support staff in hospitals and doctor's offices recognised this and didn't practice scaring the crap out of us at every turn... but since they haven't had IT they don't get it. And as a result you are left freaking out for the whole weekend.

    I am sure this is administrative and they are trying to schedule something or get you an RX before they forget and your chart winds up on the bottom of the pile.

    I will pray for you and I know how you feel! But remember, you don't know ANYTHING yet. So, save the worrying for when you have something to worry about... or since this is the prayer thread, Jesus said that it is useless to worry, because worrying doesn't change anything... But Faith? now you are talkin.

    Have faith, trust in God, and let him drive.

    Everyone needs and should get bone scans so that wouldn't be so bad

    if you thyroid IS whacky then getting meds will give you more energy.

    And we are ALL here for you!!!

    ((((Sherry)))))
    love,g
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006
    How can I worry when I have such wonderful women on my side praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me?? I asked for prayers and they've been answered already..just by the outpouring of love, concern and caring you've shown me.

    So far so good...no one has called me back and I agree with all the common sense...if it was serious, the doctor would be calling me herself and if she hadn't reached me, she'd have taken my phone number home to call me back.

    This family doctor is wonderful..she's on the ball, doesn't take "no" for an answer and gets down to the nitty gritty. Matter of fact, she gave me 2 "odd" prescriptions on Thursday...one to be filled once with 6 repeats to take myself off somewhere either in the city or out of town to just have "me" time to explore my surroundings and myself; the other to be filled once per year..to learn something new to add to my life as I move forward. Therefore, I know this woman would not leave me dangling in the wind...

    It is truly a matter of someone wanting to get to the bottom of his paperwork, leaving a message and not thinking about the consequences of that action...

    G, you are so right..worry solves nothing. And faith will take me far. We'll worry when there is something to worry about.

    In the meantime, thank you all for the hugs, the support, the flower (way to go Vickie!!), the laughter, the love and the caring.

    Tomorrow really will be a better day...that is if I'm not suffering chocolate or wine overload with Carrie whose rx consisted of plenty of both!!!!
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited August 2006

    Because she has loved Me, therefore i will deliver her;I "will set her security on HIGH " because She has known MY NAME! (Psalm 91)

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Sherry~
    Keeping you on my prayer list tonight, and always
    love,light, and peace to you dear friend ~

    image

    Carrie
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited August 2006

    SHERRY, I just wanted to let you know my prayers are with you, tonight!! praying you have a good result(phonecall)luv,debby

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006
    Sherry,
    Still praying for good results and no problems today...let us know ok.
    Hugs
    vickie
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006
    image

    To all of you, for all the prayers, positive thoughts and words of encouragement...

    g, it was not my iPod...

    but it is also nothing...they were just calling to tell me that my thyroid is normal... unlike my weekend which was anything BUT normal...however, I am shaking with happiness!!

    I explained to the nurse I spoke with what had happened and she was appalled..told me she'd been in a similar situation once herself and knew the torture I'd been going through. She would speak to the guy who called me and remind the staff that phone calls, good or bad are not to be made on a Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. I will follow that up with a lovely letter to my doctor, just to be sure no one else ever has to go through what I did...because someone else might not have the network of love and support that I do.

    Thank you so much once again to all of you. Don't even want to think where we'd be without one another..
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Oh Sherry I am so very happy !!!
    This looks like some good may come out of your nerve wracking experience.
    Maybe now others won't have to go through what you did!

    image

    Now that you started the good news trend lets keep the prayers going for everyone else this week !

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited August 2006
    Oh Sherry...I am so very happy for you!!!!
    Hugs
    Vickie
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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited August 2006

    (((((((((((((HAPPY HUGS))))))))))))))love you, sherry

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Opps Sherry how could I forget ! The Mugga , I will keep your mugga results in my prayers! You are on a role now sweet lady.

    hugs
    Carrie
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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited August 2006
    Hooray! Now you gotta believe in the power of chocolate. image
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006
    Fumi, "I believe, I believe, I believe.."

    image
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  • bearlysane111
    bearlysane111 Member Posts: 735
    edited August 2006
    Greatnews,Sherry! That was what I hoped to hear when I checked here this morning! Eat the chocolate for me,too!!!
    Love your photos--saw and read several that you and Carrie had shared that were awesome. Enjoy the day and doesn't it just make the day and everything in so much better?

    Glad that you spoke w/someone re:calls like that--it isn't needed and personally,a note might cost more but would be so much easier on our nerves/stress levels. My internist mails me a copy of the blood work tests and that is a much easier way--his off is one of the few--enough of my rambling!! You,go,girl!!!! Like I used to sing to my students--you rock,you rock right down to your socks!
    Going to learn how to put some awesome pics in one day as you deserve them--imagine a wonderful scene/happiness here.
    Have a great day!
    Iris

    -------
    "Happy trails to you..."
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2006
    Thank you Iris...as always, you say such wonderful things...and you speak from your heart. After we have the chocolate maybe we could have some wine

    image

    and then do the happy dance...

    image

    Enjoy the day!
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  • christineK
    christineK Member Posts: 1,265
    edited August 2006

    Sherry - I just saw this. I am sorry I didn't know you were having a crappy worry-filled weeked. Glad you got the good news. Now I'll just say a prayer of thanks and for your contiued good health.

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