User Groups and Permissions on VBulletin

Flower!  I just can't for the life of me, figure out what you are hell-bent on doing on BC.ORG!   It's like you are on a private mission, to change everything that everyone else ON here looks for!  

This really IS a great place, and those thousands  of us that post here, like the way things are right now!   We don't need any changes that you suggest... not that the Mods would even listen, but your  refusal to "fit in" here, is not even helping you! 

Join a group.... like the rest of us!  Or just go ahead and start a few more topics on your own!    Wishing you luck, on whatever it is you are doing.

Monis that's hysterical.

Well I'm of a simple mind now a days  but it was confusing for me--I'm comfortable the way things are and Sometimes I'll poke in a new thread to see what it's all about--but I so enjoy my favs and get good feelings from them and would like them to be easily open for new people to come to.

Flower, I don't think you are "misunderstood" exactly, I just think we don't not always WANT change!   If you don't like the way certain threads or forums are run, or you are not being "understood," than maybe you should find other forums to join.

I agree with Chevy. Is making stage 4 a private thread that you can't see best for you? It has already been stated that would not be the best for newly stage 4 who are able to find it easily because it is public.

Shouldn't a stage 4 forum be kept the way that is the best for stage 4 patients? Most stage 4 patients ( and really most of bco from reading the comments) think it should be left the way it is. Can't you accept it and move on? You seem to think this is some great injustice that needs to be challenged. There are many,many greater  examples of discrimination and harassment occuring in this world that you could focus on and help to change rather than focusing on a group of terminally ill women looking for support from others who are in the same boat.

Laurie

More power to Celine for her efforts in discussing change!  I don't think she should be criticized for all the time and thought she put into this.  The posts that gave birth to her ideas might change people's opinions.

I do not necessarily agree or disagree with site structure and technical changes, but support the basis for making changes.  The overall mission of BCO should apply to every forum and discussion which should be upheld by the members regardless of an ONLY forum.

I think these discussions are good to remind everyone how we should respond and support each other.  Celine...I am sorry that you have received so many negative responses from members here!!!!

Celine, I think I understand you and what you're trying to do. I think you just want to help, am I right? I feel the same way. After all, if we can't share our experiences to make someone else's life better, what's the point of the board?  That's a great thing and ultimately it's not the problem. Just yesterday there was some tedious post on the Stage IV forum that offended me (and I'm all for anyone posting anywhere). When questions are asked about trivial things on that forum, it pisses people off. I'm speaking for myself here, but my patience level is waaaayyyy down for trivial things when you know you're not going to be able to see life past 50 and suffer like hell in the meantime. I am always open to support, kindness and information from any stage, and that's how the Stage IV board USED to be back in the day. What ended up happening though, is that sometimes, someone, perhaps new to the boards, would come to that forum and say something to the effect of (and this is only an anaology) "I have this lump on my toe....I'm so scared it's mets". I'm all for helping anyone out, but sorry, I couldn't really give a sh*t if someone has a sore toe,  while I'm struggling to get to the bathroom and trying not to barf on myself. Having said that, most, if not all people understand that the little things don't matter to someone who's dying, but unfortunately, every once in a while, you read a post from a "toe person". You can't unread it, your emotions overwhelm you and you stew about comparing your imminent death with their toe. Do you get what I mean? Because of that, its probably best that the forum stay exclusive.

I am going to stick my neck out however, that what I personally would like to see is varying Stage IV forums. I know someone will probably mention that we have the palliative forum for that, but I myself am unable to make a commitment to an "I'm going to die" forum. I can't bring myself to go there just yet.  For me, it would just be nice to share with others with very advanced disease as opposed to lesser degrees of the disease, but that's just me. Sometimes I can't even deal with posts from other Stage IV women, so I completely understand why the majority want to feel protected. I'm pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, and if a post from another metster pisses me off, I can only imagine what it would feel like coming from someone who has their life ahead of them.

So you can see, we all want what we want, but it can't happen. This is a HUGE place and the mods have done what they can to protect everyone's feelings. It's not exclusion, it's protection. That's the downside of a board this size, but at the same time, it's the benefit. In a perfect world, everyone would be respectful of others' feelings, but that's not how the world works. 

I hate to see anyone take a verbal beating, so I hope you can see the point I'm trying to make, but at the same time I totally get where your coming from because I like you, I suspect, want to help when you can. The problem lies in the nature of the disease itself. It's all about varying degrees and there's no easy way to acccomodate everyone. Since that big upheaval of the Stage IV forum, I had to learn to use the board differently to keep myself happy. I now do searches for pertinent information, use my ignore button for both members and forums and keep in touch privately with like minds. It really does help. Perhaps you can find your own way to deal with how the board is segregated. It's unfortunate, but necessary and very unlikely to change. I don't like it, but found a way to handle it. I'd hate to think you left because of it when there is so much information to be had by all stages.

Best wishes to you Celine.

I think the repeated threads on a topic the mods closed to discussion is not only disrespectful (both to the mods and the women "dying") but a sign to me of someone who is being irrational. Celine you are displaying very little self awareness here (no support for your cause) and it is troubling. I wonder if something is going on that you need to talk to someone about?