"How do you feel?"

It is a weird question that seems to come most often from casual acquaintances.  It is the hushed tone and the look of grave concern that I find most aggravating.  I don't even really know you so why in the world would I tell if I was no longer in remission.

I totally understand that there are other people  who can handle such questions with grace. 

I hate it when people sidle up to me cautiously to whisper, "... and how do you FEEL..." out of the corner of their mouth like they're expecting me to drop dead if they speak in a normal tone of voice.  But I've tried answering like KSteve does and get, "... oh don't worry about ME, it's YOU I'm worried about ..." 

"Why?", I reply.

"Well, you know, (voice rising a bit), "... you've had CANCER..."

No sh!t, Sherlock.

Have yet to figure out how to handle it with grace.

Oh and since I'm on a roll - I get the head tilt question "How are you" often and my answer depends on the person and my mood.  If it's a geniune friend or loving family member I give details but if it's like the insensitive bimbo from my child's school, I am less tactful.

Good morning,

    I have avoided the requests for my medical information by just not telling very many people about my condition.  You'd be surprised how many people can't tell that you are wearing a wig!  However, next weekend, my DH and I will be attending a family function where everyone knows I am a cancer patient, so I have to figure out how to respond to the family members who want to know how I am doing when they didn't lift the receiver to check on me while I was in treatment.  I think I will say....Gosh, I didn't think you were interested in my health, but now that you are asking, I am doing great.  Nice seeing you!

  And guess what?  I look fabulous so when someone remarks with a stunned look how fabulous I look, I will just say "I know, I'm a hottie"

Have a wonderful day, ladies and thanks for this thread.  It is never too soon to prepare for a trip to crazytown.

MsP

Oceana, WOW!  That is so crazy.  I'm going to add something to that.

"cancer ridden, stroke patient, with no tits...who is such a total hottie"

MsP

It also bugs me that people keep telling me to take it easy or express worry that I must be tiring myself. I do get tired a bit faster now, probably thanks to the AI, but I can deal. Before treatment I was always freakin' tired, because I had stupid cancer for years without realizing. On balance, I feel better now than I have in close to 10 years. But apart from that, I want to live my life, even if it makes me tired sometimes. That was the mantra of my onc. Every time I asked her if it was OK for me to do something, she smiled and said "live your life!" 

I did not tell too many people about my dx and treatment--Mrs P- you are right-most people cannot tell you are wearing a wig.  I had  a colleague often say, in public, (who did not know about my dx)."my your hair looks so great! what are you doing differently?  After she did this a few times and I came home upset, my then 7 year old said-"the next time she asks, whip off the wig and tell her you are "doing" chemotherapy".... we all laughed so hard.  

It is funny, when people ask me how I am, I usually answer "excellent".... then I remember--oh, this might be someone who knew about my dx (I cannot remember)..... while I do think most people mean well, there are a few who do not..... I ignore them now.... I do hate the puppy dog eyes and the "how ARE you???"  people.... 

Ziggypop

 hilarious!  

Oh man I was on vacation for a week and before that trying to get ready for vacation so I've been off the boards for a while.  But I just want to say I missed you girls and your honesty and the fact you get it.