August 2013 Surgeries

great news! Glad to see some of the August girls still hanging around. I had exch in Jan and go next month for revision and probably a swap out from 410 anatomical to a smaller round. Healing tho has been fine, on anastrazole with minimal side effects, no rads or chemo, I got lucky.

I for sure have to have lipo done , he said that even when he was marking me up for the xchange surgery. So thats a given. I think its just me-- If I was looking at me as someone else, Id probably think these were doing well...For ME looking down- they still seem kind of big. He said the 410s arent doing me much good shape wise- I dont think you can see the shape that much.  On my next, pre surgery, appt I am going to grill him further about : 1/ what happens to loose skin after the lipo part? Does it just hang there or still seem loose? or does he do soemthing with it?  2/ what real difference projection wise will the rounds be from what I have now?  Im trying to see if maybe with just lipo they will seem smaller.  I wanted to be small and am, but still --- I just dont know..seem ..something.  But I do want this to be the final surgery, so however they are after this- Im done.

Ndgrrl,

Wonderful news for your family!  Happy for you.

Good to see you back again Lili. Recently I find things that I think sound perfectly coherent can not be understood by anyone. I am always being asked to clarify and will finally see where what I said didn't make sense. Hoping that is "chemo brain" and will clear up.

Because I had numbness and tingling with periodic severe pain in my hands and legs (especially burning on feet) my internist said it was likely peripheral neuropathy from the chemo. I went to a neurologist who did EMG studies and she said that I don't have neuropathy.

Because I was recently diagnosed as hypothyroid the neurologist said the pain could be from that and treating the hypo might help. I have a friend who developed severe arthritis after her chemo and so I wonder if my pain is my pre-existing osteo arthritis just getting worse (way worse)?  I am holding out hope that taking synthroid for thyroid will help. I do think I see a bit of a difference after a week and a half on thyroid meds. 

I think taxotere really does a number on many systems in the body. My oncologist (who I see today for first follow up since he cancelled treatments) said in a tv interview that his goal is to eventually see a time where they can avoid such dangerous toxicity to women's bodies. That would be nice.

I have two friends who sailed through chemo. They had colon and liver cancers both stage 4. They did not lose hair and were never laid up (out shopping etc). They also didn't lose hair and unrelated...since I feel so mutilated....you can;t see where they had the surgery. I think breast cancer and it's treatment is a nightmare all around and I still feel guilty that I dodged most of what you women are going through. Maybe if their colons and livers were on the outside of the body and they had to have them reconstructed it would be different.  I am sure their nightmares are similar given that any cancer is life threatening but watching and reading here has made me amazed and impressed with the strength and courage of breast cancer people.

Take care everyone.

So sorry to hear of your latest news Lili1964. I sure hope somehow things go ok for you. You have a lot on your plate. Thanks for you post!

hate to admit that i am this bird brained but i went to answer the question you asked me before i forgot Lili and then intended to read the rest of your post and reply to that but i got a call and had to leave so it looks like i didn't acknowledge your ordeal.

You really have had such a rough year. I don't know how you hold up.  My onc today said that all of his breast cancer patients struggle through and after treatment and he hope i was seeing a psychiatrist to help with that.  It is really hard let alone having lung cancer thrown in. I think it will be hard to not worry.  Some days (because i didnt have treatment) i wait for it to come back and other days i feel like i beat it.

I hope you continue to talk about it. I think that helps a lot.  Take care of yourself and know you are supported here.

Lisa,

It's always something!  Sorry about the new diagnosis but, as Karen said above, they caught yours really early and it was not bc that metastasized-that's huge!!!  FYI-About 20 years ago one of our friend's was diagnosed with lung cancer that was also caught early and he too had a small part of his lung removed.  Today he's in his mid 70's and still working!!!!  I am praying that you do as well as him!!!!

I saw both my BS and PS today and they both were thrilled that my FG held so well.  We now have a plan.  Another FG in about a month.  If that doesn't give me enough of a foob, then 3-4 months after that he'll do a very small implant on my left side.  If I get another infection then I'm done and will accept being a uni-boober. The right side still needs an exchange and to be made smaller-but that will wait til we see how the left does.

I was lucky that throughout many of my hospitalizations this year, my daughter was in town,  Having her here has been the best.  And, my son has been much better of late-more connected to us.  We've even seen the grandkids more which is the best medicine for me!

To all my other August sx friends, please take really good care of yourselves-it's great to hear from all of you again!

Babs

Ladies,

Thanks all for the kind words, encouragement, and prayers.

I saw the Thoracic Surgeon for follow-up and he did offer
some hope. I knew the cancer was caught
very early and only because I was being scanned for post-chemo follow-up. In fact, as I explained to him, as foolish as
it may sound….I feel blessed I got breast cancer because had I not, I never
would have known of the lung issue since I had no symptoms.

However, even though the 5 year survival rate for all stages
of lung cancer overall is only 15%, he feels my chances are very good to be
part of that 15%. It was caught early,
it was a low stage, it did not show up in lymph node, I’m young (generally
speaking for most lung cancers), and the remaining lung tissues all look very
healthy. He will follow me up every 3
months with scans the first year and he and my MO will try to coordinate scans
needed. Scans will then be done every 6
months for another year or 2 and then annually.
So if anything does develop, they’ll find it quickly and we can deal
with it. However, if it does recur
either locally or distant, survival chances drop considerably. But I’m not going to fret over it; I’ll worry
but I think that’s normal (but I’m not going to worry myself to the point of
getting sick over it…what comes will come and there is little I can do about
it).

I’m healing nicely.
Should be able to return to work part-time next week; work part-time a
week or 2 and play it by ear on how I’m feeling and return to full-time when I
feel ready. The chest X-rays looked
great so the lung is healing well, too.
I developed a terrible sharp pain in my lower front right ribs which I
didn’t understand and figured it must have something to do with how they
positioned me to do the surgery robotically.
Well, I found out it was not that….apparently there are “strings” of
nerves that run from the side to front around/between the ribs. When the 4 incisions were made in between the ribs in the front/side/and back,
they cut thru the nerves…and the pains I’m feeling are cut nerve pains that are
distant from the incisions themselves. I
had this same issue years ago with a different surgery but the pains were at
the incision sites. This is not, which
is weird, which is why I couldn’t believe that was the issue…until they
explained how the nerves are very inter-woven in the area. I've come to terms with "what could be" regarding this so just take things one day at a time.

Wrenn – You know,
I often times write things that make perfect sense to me as well and then when
I re-read it, I can see how it might not make sense to others. I think that’s just writing in general; I
wouldn’t be too concerned with it being chemo-brain.

I hope treating the thyroid issue helps with the feet and
hands. I had terrible burning sensation
which led to the Hand-Foot Syndrome diagnosis shortly after Thanksgiving. But mine then blistered and then peeled so I
think that is very different from what you are talking about (but the burning feeling was so painful.... so I know what you are feeling). But I don’t think “burning” pain is
associated with neuropathy….so I think the Neurologist was probably correct but the tingling and numbness ARE associate with neuropathy and are common side effects of Taxotere. Yes – our chemo treatments are so very toxic
it is too scary to think about it too much.
We did what we could; you had too many issues before starting that your
body just wasn’t going to allow for such poison and not add to the
problems. We can only do as much as our
bodies will allow. There’s always the
benefit vs risk…..

Vintagegal – see,
all I had to do was look at your stats again and would have seen you did have
surgery last year (obviously I’ve forgotten I can do that!). I’m glad you are doing well now, after all the
surgeries and complications that came with the last.

Aviva – what does
the PS do to include the patient in the implant selection? This has always been a concern to me. I mean, I’d like to know before surgery what
to expect and I’d like to have a little input…it is my body afterall. I know it is all very technical and such, but
you’d think they would give me something to look at or read or something before
my pre-op visit which is really just more of a physical (from what I understood
when scheduling the surgery). They had told me during my expansions that "Dr so and so will decide on which implants are best" but I never pressed further thinking there had to be more to it.

Hoping you
get answers that help you decide the best way to proceed so you’re happy with
the outcome.

KBee – Same question to you that I asked Aviva –
what input did you have on your implant selection?

I did read about the low survival rates being more due to
the advanced stage of lung cancer when found; sort of. When a person digs a little deeper there is
more data that explains that is not necessarily the case. There are many medical publications and
studies that have been done that discuss the high rate of recurrence and the drastic
drop in survival years if that happens, even for cancers that are found to be
low stage. That’s why the overall rate
is at 15% I think – even though there are those of us who were very lucky to
have it caught early, it also has such a high rate of recurrence and then the
survival rate drops sharply. I’ve read a
lot since last Friday; keeping mostly to medical publications and reputable
cancer sites (I don’t read blogs or articles by places I’ve never heard of) my
only interest was in finding out as much
as I could, medically speaking, so I could formulate questions to ask my
surgeon. Although he said “don’t read
too much online”….that’s what all doctors seem to say today and I understand
their reasoning. But, if like me, the
reading is being done from published medical journals or reputable cancer sites…they
should welcome the patient learning about their condition. With cancer, though, I think the doctors are
more apt to NOT want patients to read too much because they’d prefer to just be
hopeful. I don’t prescribe to that
thought – I’m the patient and I deserve to know everything and anything I want
about my medical state…good and bad if I ask about it. I
don’t want surprises down the road.  And...I expected my surgeon to say what he did given that my cancer was low stage.  But also feel he purposely did not want to start talking about statistics because they are not very reassuring.  

But I do have many things in my favor. A couple things work against me….but there’s
nothing I can do about it so I’m just moving forward. Can’t say I have a gung-ho positive attitude….but
I’ve the desire to live and make each day count more so now than I had even
after the breast cancer diagnosis. And I
appreciate those who mean the most to me more now…  Isn't that the lessen when anything bad happens?  Appreciate what you have today because tomorrow may never come.  

Babs – so glad
they finally have a plan for your left side!
Geez, I still don’t know how you’ve gotten thru all that….and knowing
all that still lies ahead. I admire you
and your courage!  I really don't think I'd have your courage facing so many surgeries.

So happy your daughter was around during the
hospitalizations. And that your son is
more connected…WOW! That is so nice to
hear; and the grandkids….I’m sure it means the world to you to have more
interaction with them. I’m so glad your
family has gotten closer through all this!!!

Ndgrrl – thank you.

You know, I still think of you every time I put on a gown at
the clinic or at the hospital. I swear,
your hilarious story will stay with me forever…..I’m so glad you posted that
here for us to enjoy (those that might not recall, scroll back to the Oct 25^th
post ndgrrl wrote). Your description of
what happened always keeps me as lighthearted as I can be when in one of those
silly gowns for any reason!!!!!

Hope all is well with everyone else. 

Lisa- I felt you needed another laugh so I put it back on here again just for you

The Taa Taas and the Hoo Haa

My clinic
definitely must think I am some kind of hysterical freak. I went to have a pap
after not having one in 5 years, mainly because my doctor passed away and I
just never wanted to have the new doctor give me one (I am extremely conservative).
So after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I thought I should really have one-
so it took all I could do (I so HATE paps) to go to the clinic.

I anxiously waited a half hour in the regular
waiting room before I finally was called back and put into an examining room-
gown on- taa taas poking out the front- I had to re-dress to hunt down a nurse
for an adult size gown. Shamoo himself could have fit into the gown I then
received. Taa taas covered OK- all set.

I wait and
wait and wait- 45 more minutes goes by- no magazines-no books, only thing to
look at is the tray of contraptions that will soon be used in my hoo haa.
I was not too thrilled to be looking at them in such great detail but my eyes
with nowhere else to focus seem riveted to them. Some of the tools I would look
at and think WTH is that for?? I start
pacing pacing pacing, anxiety level going up by the minute.

Finally after
all this time I cannot stand it in that room anymore and I remember a bathroom
next door, so Shamoo gown wrapped around me 3 times, I cautiously head next
door to the bathroom, in my state of half dress I am leery of running into
other patients. A little while later, I open the bathroom door only to hear the
nurses say-" Let’s go straighten up room 7.”  I hurry back next door and LOW AND BEHOLD I
am room 7!!

The nurse
finds me there a few min later and says, "whaaa- you are still here?"
My panic and anxiety are in over drive by this point!!! I say, “I am just
leaving.” Little did I know the struggle that would ensue from those three
simple words that didn’t seem to set well with the nurse.

My appointment
was at 3:45 and it is now 5:00 and I still need to go to lab for my blood work
before it closed, I assumed, at 5:00. So I proceed to tell the nurse she can
clean up the room as I am leaving anyway as soon as I can get dressed to
go to lab before it closed. The nurse grabs me by the arm puts her other arm
across my shoulders will not let me dress or leave and says real close looking
into my face--I now feel like I am a 90 year old crazy deaf lady-- “You
have cancer. You need this pap. I promise you he will be quick, I won't leave you,
you cannot leave, and you have to get this done. Let’s get you on the table.”
She is acting like I am scared of the doctor and a lunatic to boot!!

I am not
scared of the doctor. I just do not want to be naked anymore and I don’t want
my hoo haa subjected to any of those torture devices that I had been staring at
all this time!! Plus I really did not want to miss going to lab for my blood
tests. I live an hour from the clinic, so coming back was not really an option.
I did not tell her this though. She was too busy trying to keep me from running
out the door Shamoo gown and all, I was to that point!

Meanwhile the
doctor walks in with a baffled look on his face wondering, I am sure, what all
the commotion is about, and the nurse shuts the door practically in his face
and says, "We are having a little anxiety problem here, it will be ok
soon, come back later.” At this moment I was embarrassed, and near tears and wanted
nothing more than to be gone. I told that nurse this over and over but she
insisted lab would wait for me and this would soon be done.

Finally she
talks me into sitting on the torture (in my mind it is) table- puts my butt on
the very edge, feet in the stirrups, puts the table up to highest position (I
guess she felt I would not jump off it when it was so far in the air) and
covers my legs with a blanket, but I am certain my hoo haa is feeling a breeze.
She has the room set up like a pit crew tire change at Nascar, packages were
open, hoo haa contraption lights were on, gloves were out, garbage can lid was
open, she had it ready to go. Nurse says" Let me grab the doctor-I will be
right back."

I wait and wait
- thinking OMG the janitor is going to walk in at any moment and get the full
view of my half blanketed hoo haa-- 15 minutes goes by, my back cannot handle
those stirrups anymore and I slowly pull my tush up to the top of the table
crab walking as I go so I can get my legs out of those stirrups!! I peer over
the edge of the table and think to myself, “What happens if I fall off this
table with my hoo haa in the air? Will this Shamoo gown cover it all?”

I am sitting
there when the nurse comes in again- she says “Oh, you were not
comfortable?" I wanted to say YA THINK?? hoo haa in the breeze with my
legs apart- how comfy is this - U have to ask? But I am nice and stay silent. She then said." Well I cannot find the
doctor but when I do we will be right in" (I figured he had ran for the
hills after the conversation he had come across earlier between the nurse and I.)

I then sat
there seriously debating how to dive off the table without being tripped up in Shamoo
gown when the Doctor, seeming nervous, finally comes back in. I will say he was
quick! I heard him say something to the
effect that " He only had one chance at this so he best do it right"
Then he was ready to run out the door and decided last minute to check my
ovaries by poking my belly when the nurse - said-- Aren’t U going to do her breast exam?

That statement had just opened up a new wave
of anxiety and my face and the white knuckled death grip on the front of Shamoo
gown must have told it all. Maybe to most women this wouldn’t be a problem, but
to me taa taaas and hoo haa exams go hand and hand.(no pun intended)  I do not like one as well as the other. I had
that very day just told that nurse I had recently been diagnosed with
breast cancer and had been examined the last three weeks by every mammogram,
ultra sound, doctor, nurse practitioner and intern out there and that I DID NOT need another breast exam!
I proceeded to tell her and the doctor just that. The doctor simply said.
"She is fine" and this time did run out the door!

My girlfriend
said the doctor usually talks to her while she is still wearing the gown but he
came back after I was fully dressed and we had a chat where he stayed far
across the room. I must have appeared like I would bolt out the door if he came
close to me. I asked if I could have some Ativan for anxiety for my upcoming
surgery and before I could hardly get the words all the way out of my mouth he
had prescription pad in hand writing out a large dosage.

I never did
tell him I had been forgotten in a room and then left in the stirrups. I
probably should have, but by that time it was past 5:30 and I still needed lab
work.

My appointment
that day was 3:45 and I got out of the clinic at nearly 6 pm. I truly do not
know if I can ever muster up enough courage to go through all that again!!

So I can
imagine what that clinic must think of me. They probably think " How did
she ever birth two children when she acts like a 16 year old virgin getting a first
pap!!"

So yup- when it
comes to clinics thinking people are nuts- I think I rank right up there!!

It's been a long haul for you vintagegal. You have stamina. 

Ndgrrl - thanks for that!  A smile/laugh/and giggling does me good!!!!!!

Vintagegal - how many rads do you have to have?  It must feel like this is never-ending for you.......

Aviva - could you give me some websites you looked at when you did your research?  I've been to some, but nothing that I found very helpful.  Also, what did your PS suggest in so far as a bra after the exchange - I only have 1 business day between my pre-op visit and surgery?  Do they put you in a surgical bra?  Do I need to have a special bra purchased before this surgery (and since I've no idea what I will look like after the exchange, how would I know what size bra to buy?  

Jo - how did your mammo go?

Lili,

Got a form letter in the mail today (Saturday) ..says there is an area that is (in bold type) "probably benign" and a copy is being sent to my doctor. " someone will be calling from scheduling to set you up for another follow up mammo in  6 months to see if there are any changes".  Are they kidding me?  They did not mention which breast. My cancer showed on my mammos for three years and they thought it was nothing. Do they think I would believe them ever again about "probably benign"?  I thought I was going to throw up when I read the letter and being the weekend I just have to sit and stew. Lisa, Thanks for asking. I don't want to tell any family or friends and upset them so as always it feels good to be able to vent here. 

Hi Catey! No I havent updated in awhile...its so funny how hit or miss it is, we can only think we are on a good plan and then wait and see what happens. At least he is good about doing revisions and changes...I go May 7 to see him, and surgery is May 23...

Lisa, I did not have much say in the implants.  My PS is really good, and very particular, and he has an impeccable record of preventing infection, etc...and he is who all of the local nurses who have had BC use...BUT he is in and out so fast, I did not always get to have the conversations I want to have with him.  Basically, once I got to the size I wanted with the TEs, he did 2 more fills and we scheduled the exchange.  I kind of had to trust his judgement, and I think he did a good job.

I had my nipple surgery 13 days ago and also had soem fat grafting done.  The nips look fine (though it'll take 3 months to really see what they'll look like), but side where I had teh fat grafting is all lumpy.  Not where I had the fat grafting, but lateral to that and under the arm.  I think I can feel every lymphnode.  The PS's nurse said that she thinks the lymph nodes are inflammed because they are working overtime due to post surgery swelling, etc...but she then added if they are still swollen in a week, to call my MO and BS.  Logically I know that this is prbably just surgical swelling, but of course my mind does keep trying to take me to dark places.  Luckily I work a lot in the upcoming days, so that will be a good distraction.  I am really trying to just live my life.